Tainted (20 page)

She remembered squirming in her chair and then being hugely relieved when the front door opened and Holly and her mother came in. A few minutes later, when she and Holly were in Holly's room together, she'd said, “Your father has a mega bullshit detector, doesn't he? He's kind of scary.”

And Holly had said, “He's not scary at all. What are you talking about?”

Anna hadn't explained.

Sitting up in her bed, Anna rewound the mental tape and went over the scene of the early morning.

No way. No way a man takes a five-year-old girl out driving at a time like that. And for Katy to drive, she must have been sitting in his lap. She had to have been—he got out on the driver's side right after she did. And why all the secrecy? If he wanted to give her driving lessons, he could do it in the day—with Holly. Why did I buy that grin of his and talk myself out of waking up Holly then and there?

What is it? What's that Shakespeare quote? The only one I came close to remembering when we were doing one of those plays in senior year. I remembered it because of that remark of Mr. Barrett's.

She clenched her fists and squeezed her eyes tight and racked her brain, groping for the memory, feeling it elude her, until she finally gave up trying, got out of bed and headed for the bathroom.

“You missed breakfast. And you missed coffee with Henry. I'll get you some now,” Holly said when Anna came downstairs.

Holly was sitting in the living room with a book in her lap and was about to get up when Anna said, “No, stay here. I need to talk to you. Where's Jack? And where's Katy?”

“Jack's gone to town—we're out of dishwasher powder, so he said he'd get it. And Katy's asleep. She went back to bed after we went to Henry's for coffee. She was tired.”

“I bet she was.” Anna sat down across from Holly. “Do you have any idea what she was doing at two o'clock this morning?”

“Yes. Jack told me. He took her on a drive. He was letting her drive the car.”

“So he told you.”

“Of course he did.”

“And you have no problem with that?”

“She was awake when he came back. He thought it would be a fun adventure.”

“Fun. Right.”

“What's
your
problem, Anna?” Holly put the book on the table, leaned forward in her chair. “Is there something you want to say to me?”

“Yes, Holl, there is. You've always been the sensible one. I can't believe you think it's OK for him to take her out in the middle of the night like that. She's five years old.”

“I know how old my daughter is.” Holly's back was ramrod straight. She was glaring at Anna, challenging her with furious eyes.

“He has you wrapped around his little finger, doesn't he? If it were anyone else, you'd be going ballistic.”

“Anyone else? He's her stepfather. He adores her. If he wants to take her out on a drive, he can. She loved it. She can't wait to show me how good she is.”

“Jesus, Holly. You're letting your feelings for him cloud your judgment. I know he's handsome and charming and all that. But you don't really know anything about him, do you? It's like he came out of thin air, landed in Shoreham and swept you off your feet. What do you really know about this guy?”

“I know everything about him. And I know something else, too. I know you're jealous. You can't stand to see me happy because you've always been the one who has everything and I've been your little sidekick who lags behind. Poor Holly, right?” She stood up. Anna could see that she was shaking.

“Poor Holly who wasn't as popular as you at school. Poor Holly who didn't have a boyfriend and tagged along with you and Billy like some poodle. Poor Holly who got pregnant by the guy who you'd ditched, a guy who didn't care about her and then ran away. Poor Holly who isn't cool or attractive or sexy. You're so used to patronizing me and feeling sorry for me, my happiness threatens you. I'm tired of this shit, Anna. I'm tired of you feeling better about yourself because you're not me. You think I don't know that about you? You think I'm not aware of how you look down on me?”

“Holl . . .” Anna stood up too. She took a step closer to Holly, reached out and put her hand on her shoulder. But Holly shrugged it off. “OK. Fine. You're right. I've been a bitch and—”

“Oh, please. Spare me. You always do that. You admit to being a bitch as if that makes it all right to be a bitch. Like, ‘Oh, look at how honest Anna is being. Isn't she great?' And everyone forgets the fact that you've been a bitch in the first place.”

“Is that what I do?”

“All the time.”

“And you hate me for it?”

“I hate you for trying to ruin my happiness.”

“Which is what you really believe I'm trying to do?”

“Yes.”

“Right. I'll leave.”

“Good.”

“Good.”

Anna turned and went back up the stairs to her room, threw her clothes in her bag. Years of friendship had flown out the window—fine. She had other friends. She had a whole other life in Boston that Holly Barrett wasn't part of.

When she walked back down with her bag, Holly was standing at the front door, holding it open.

At the threshold, Anna turned. “Don't worry. I'm going. I won't spoil your precious happiness. But it's wrong, and you know it. Taking Katy out in the middle of the night, having her sit on his lap to drive. It's wrong. Hating me doesn't change that.”

As she walked to her car, she heard the door slam with a bang behind her.

Fine, OK. Fine. I'm out of here. Forever. Leave her to stew in her idyllic little piece of heaven with her heavenly husband whom she knows nothing about and who takes her daughter out for drives and can't stop smiling. It's not my responsibility any more. If she doesn't want my help, fine.

Anna started the car, drove out the driveway, heading back to Boston and sanity. But halfway down the road, she stopped, reversed and took a left-hand turn at the sign on the tree that said Madison.

When Jack came back, Holly was curled up on the living room sofa, crying. She would never have imagined she'd tell anyone she hated them, much less throw them out of her house. And the fact that the person she'd said that to and the person she'd thrown out was Anna was awful. Yelling like that didn't make her feel any better. Bringing up all that stuff from the past didn't either. She'd been totally out of control; she'd said things she didn't really mean, just as she'd done before with Henry. But she'd been pushed into it—both times. They were both so wrong about Jack, she didn't have a choice.

As soon as he came in and saw her sitting there, hugging herself, Jack came over, pulled her up and put his arms around her.

“What's happened? What's the matter?”

“I had a fight with Anna. I said terrible things to her and I kicked her out. She's left.”

“Is that such a bad result?” He was stroking her hair, calming her down. “I know she's a friend of yours, but honestly—she's so up herself it's not funny. In fact, I'm surprised she and Billy didn't stay together and get married. They're twins, those two. They belong together.”

“I was so mean, though. I told her I hated her.”

“Holly . . .” Jack took a step back, cupped her face in his hands. “Friends have fights sometimes. It happens. And I bet you had a fight with her because of me. Because she didn't think I should be taking Katy out so late at night. I'm right, aren't I?”

“Yes.”

“You were defending me. Which was very sweet of you. Where's the princess?”

“She's taking a nap.”

“Ah ha. I'll put this dishwasher powder in the kitchen and then what do you say to going to our room for a while? Taking a little nap of our own? I can cheer you up, I bet.”

“I bet you can.” She smiled.

“Go.” He slapped her on her bottom. “Go get ready. I'll be there in a second.”

A minute ago she had been miserable and crying. Now she was taking the stairs up to her room two at a time. Jack could do that. He could change things in an instant, make her laugh, make her happy, make Katy jump up and down for joy with some silly game or joke. Since their honeymoon, they'd been completely in sync. Maybe some day Anna would understand what that meant. Maybe.

Holly stopped at the top of the stairs and caught her breath. Could she have ever imagined six weeks ago that she'd be feeling sorry for Anna? That she'd be about to race into her room at eleven o'clock in the morning for some seriously amazing sex with her husband? A husband Katy loved too?

Good things happen. For a long time, I didn't think they did. But they do—and they've happened to me.

She was taking off her blue jeans when Jack came in.

“Started already?”

“I don't know how long Katy will sleep.”

“Good point.” He stripped off his T-shirt, took his watch off and put it on the bureau. “Hang on a second.” He picked up his cellphone from the tabletop. “I have a message. Did you hear the phone ring when I was out?”

“No, but the door was closed and I was downstairs so I wouldn't have. Who is it?” She walked over and stood beside him as he dialed his message service.

“Shit.”

“What, Jack? Who is it?”

He didn't reply. He was listening, biting his lip, his face scrunched up in what looked like pain.

“Jack?”

“Fuck. I need to hear this again.” He looked at the receiver, pushed a button and put it back to his ear.

“Fuck.” He threw the phone on the bed, went over and sat down on the end, shaking his head. “I don't fucking believe it. I don't fucking believe it.”

“What?” She sat down beside him, put her hand on his knee. “Tell me what's going on.”

“This is a nightmare.” He pounded his fist against his mouth. “What the hell. I didn't think Henry would—Billy, OK, but Henry . . .”

“Henry what? Jack, tell me. Please.”

“You know how Billy found the number and called to check up on me before?”

She nodded.

“Well, now Henry has been checking up on me. And he called the number too. The woman I told you about. Which means . . . which has to mean that Billy gave Henry the number. That Henry and Billy are together, trying to find out about me. Henry called the school I was supposed to have gone to.”

“But he didn't find out anything, did he? I mean he couldn't, right?”

“Right. But that's not the point any more. I can't stay here. Billy's not going to stop. And if he has roped Henry in with him, well—”

“Jack, I can talk to Henry. I'll tell him—”

“No. No way. Then Henry would think he had to tell Billy to shut him up and then Billy, well, Billy could tell anyone.”

“Not if I—”

“Holly. Listen.” He turned to her, took both her hands in his. “You have to understand how this works. People don't keep secrets. They say they will, they say they'll never tell another soul, but then they can't stop themselves. It's human nature.”

“But I would never tell—”

“You say that and I believe you but we're married. We're in love. Billy Madison isn't in love with me, is he?” Jack snorted. “You have no idea how fast news travels when it travels fast. I can't stay here. I have to go.”

“You mean we have to go.”

“I know you said in Vermont that if this ever happened, you'd come with me, but now that it is happening, Holly, are you sure? Because it's not going to be easy, starting a new life. And you're not going to be able to tell anyone, not even Henry, where we've gone.”

“I know. But I want to go with you. I have to go with you, Jack. I love you with all my heart. And you know Katy loves you too. Of course we'll go with you—wherever.”

He kissed her, a kiss so similar to the first one he'd given her that night on the beach that she could almost imagine the sand beneath her feet. When he broke it off, she opened her eyes and willed herself not to cry.

“I'm going into town. I'll make up some excuse to get my pay check early from Figs and you can start packing.”

“We don't have to leave today, do we?”

“We have to leave as soon as we possibly can. Today would be good.” He stood up. “And you can't tell anyone, Holly. Remember that. You can't tell anyone.”

“I won't. But how can I say goodbye to Henry?”

“You can't say goodbye to him. I'm sorry.” He kissed her on the side of her head. “You know that's why I walked away from you that first night. I thought this could happen someday. And it wouldn't be just your life I'd be messing around with, it would be Katy's too.”

“We'll be fine. I promise. There's no way I'm not going with you.”

“OK. Start packing. I'll be back as soon as I can.”

After Jack walked out, Holly sank down on the bed, struggling to take in all the ramifications of what had happened. She knew she should start packing but she couldn't bring herself to. Her life had been wrapped up in this house for so long, leaving it would be another kind of death. And how would Katy cope in a brand new place? With no Henry? No Bones?

Why did this have to happen? How could Billy have convinced Henry to make those calls? Henry didn't do things like that. He wasn't a snoop, he had huge respect for other people's privacy. Yet somehow Billy had made Henry change his mind.

Billy Madison had once again come into her life and turned it upside down without even a thought for the consequences.

She wished she'd never seen him pushing that sailboat out into the water his first summer in Shoreham. His parents weren't Shoreham types; they belonged in New York, in the Hamptons, with their white tennis outfits and their flashy Lexus. How could Henry have fallen into Billy's trap? They could have gotten away with it if Billy had made that one call and dropped it, but not now, she could see. Jack was right. If they told Henry the truth, he'd insist on telling Billy to shut him up and then Billy might tell Anna and Anna would tell anyone within ten yards of her because it made such a good story she wouldn't have the willpower to resist.

Holly straightened her back, stood up. She'd have to start packing as much as she could before Katy woke up. There'd be another whole pile of problems when Katy woke up and began asking questions.

She'd deal with it, though. She'd make whatever sacrifices she had to for Jack. They belonged together. She would give up Henry, her house, everything for him and it would all be worth it.

Inside a small jewelry box she kept on the bedside table was a photograph of her parents. Holly took it out, sat with it on her lap for a moment. They were standing on the steps of the porch of Henry's house, their arms around each other. Her mother was smiling at the camera, her father was looking at her mother protectively. They'd been a perfect team; yes, they'd argue occasionally, but they were each other's best friend, she knew. They would have sacrificed anything for each other.

Holly had always suspected that her mother had driven off the road that day because tears had blinded her. The grief of losing her husband had been too much; seeing his body in the funeral home had killed her.

Until she finally laid down beside him and stayed there with him and they died together.

You couldn't bear to lose Dad. And I can't bear to lose Jack. We both mated for life
.