Tails and Teapots (2 page)

"What? It's true."

"I don't know, I kind of like it." Frankie lifted the kettle up and rubbed off a bit of dust with his finger. "This is actually a pretty normal gift from my mom. She usually sends me weirder things when she travels."

"I'd hate to see what else she sen—Ow!" Dante cringed as Kale stepped around the bar and swatted him on the ass.

"Just for that, you're covering for Frankie for the rest of the night."

"Kale..."

"That's final." Kale glared at Dante. Good lord, Kale was good at that.

"Fine!" Dante made sad puppy eyes at Kale and stuck his bottom lip out in a pout. "Jerk..." Dante muttered the last bit, but Frankie heard it and Kale probably did, too.

Kale glared at Dante again. "Keep that up and you won't be sitting down for a few days."

Frankie didn't need to hear that, or see the hungry look Dante gave Kale after that threat, either.

Kale turned to Frankie who was watching the whole exchange in amazement. "Go on, you officially have the rest of the night off."

"Thanks, Kale." Frankie set his tea kettle back in its box and headed home. "Thanks, Dante."

"You owe me!" Dante called after him.

Frankie headed back to his apartment, taking the elevator this time. He felt a little better after talking to Dante, and the present from his mom helped, too. Dante was right though, the teapot was kind of ugly, but it was still cool. Besides, it would look a whole lot better once he got it cleaned up. It was also a nice change from the random snacks she sent him last year when she was in China. There was something just not right about Gummi candy that tasted like corn.

Once inside, Frankie settled on his couch and took a closer look at the tea kettle. It was old, from the looks of things, and covered in a layer of greenish oxidation. That would be easy enough to clean off, though. Frankie set the thing on his coffee table and grabbed a damp rag from the kitchen. At

least cleaning up the tea kettle would keep his mind off of Alan for a little longer.

"I guess this'll have to come off too." Frankie tugged at the ancient looking slip of paper that clung to the top of the kettle. At first, Frankie thought it was a piece of wide paper tape place there to keep the lid with the kettle but it was more than that. There was writing on it, fluid, scrawling script that looked far more complicated then normal Japanese. It looked like one of those paper spirit wards he kept seeing in anime. What the hell were they called?
Futon ... furo ... Ofuda

... that was it.

That's what the paper looked like. Then again, Frankie's knowledge of Japanese was pretty limited. Hell, it could have been an elaborate price tag for all he knew. Besides, why would anyone stick a spirit ward on an old tea kettle? Frankie picked at one tattered corner of the paper and lifted it carefully. The paper crackled as he pulled at it and crumbled to dust beneath his fingers. Well, that was a little weird. Even if the paper was old it shouldn't have turned to dust like that, should it?

The weirdness didn't end there, not by a long shot. Once the paper was off, the tea kettle trembled and with what sounded like a sneeze, it hopped out of Frankie's hands and fell on to the floor.

"What the hell?" Frankie blinked at his empty hands in disbelief. The tea kettle did not just sneeze and jump out of his hands. Did it? No, of course not, tea kettles did not move or sneeze for that matter. It had to be his brain playing tricks on him.

Maybe it was the stress. It was either that, or he was going crazy. Frankie sighed and hoped it was the stress. Ending up in a mental ward would have been a shitty way to end the week.

"Ouch..." There was a puff of green-gray smoke and once that cleared, there was some sort of animal standing there on its hind legs, rubbing its head with one furry, chocolate brown paw.

It looked like a cross between a raccoon and a dog, with dark brown fur and a bushy striped tail and was about eye level with the arm of the couch. At least it was cute, whatever it was. Frankie shook his head. The thing talked too. Yeah, he was going crazy all right.

Two big brown eyes glanced up at Frankie and, before he could do anything the dog-raccoon thing jumped up like it was trying to tackle him to the couch, not that it worked. It didn't have enough weight or mass to push Frankie over, so it ended up sort of wrapped around Frankie's chest with its furry, little arms clinging to his neck.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" The dog-raccoon thing licked at Frankie's face excitedly. "I thought I'd never be free of that stupid ward."

Frankie pushed the thing off him. He was in no mood for a tongue bath, especially from some weird talking animal or figment of his imagination, whichever this happened to be. "Get off me!"

"Sorry..." The thing picked itself off the floor and hopped up onto the coffee table. It glanced at him timidly, which made Frankie feel like he just kicked a puppy. "I was just

excited that's all. You don't know what it's like, being stuck as a tea kettle for almost two hundred years."

"It's oka—Wait, what?"

"I'm a tanuki ... a raccoon-dog, I guess you'd call me.

We're shapeshifters and tricksters ... but only sometimes." "Ah, like kitsune." Frankie nodded. Okay, maybe he wasn't

crazy after all. He knew about shifters. Hell, most of the crew at The Body Shop knew about them, well, kitsune at least. It was pretty common knowledge that Itsuki, one of the bouncers, was one and Itsuki was a well-spring of information, especially about werefoxes.

The tanuki looked vaguely insulted. "I'm more than some silly fox. We tanuki can change into almost anything. Kitsune, on the other hand, only have their fox and human forms."

"Oh..."

"How do you know about kitsune, anyway?" The tanuki cocked its—his—head to one side. It was easy to tell by its voice that the tanuki was male. The furry set of balls that hung between the tanuki's legs made it pretty obvious too. "I didn't think they ventured this far west."

"I work with one, actually." Frankie raked his hand through his hair and sighed. "He's from Japan originally, though."

"Interesting..." The tanuki stretched and shook out its bushy tail. "Oh, it feels good to be myself again."

"How did you get stuck as a tea kettle for so long?"

"I ran into a demon hunter who couldn't take a joke, that's how."

"What?"

"We tanuki enjoy playing jokes on people, especially ones who take themselves too seriously. We can't help it. It's part of our nature, really." The tanuki hopped up and sat down cross-legged on Frankie's coffee table. "Anyway, there was this demon hunter ... First, I pretended to be an oni and I swear he chased me across half of Japan. Then when he was about to catch me, I changed into the tea kettle. I figured I'd lose him that way and he'd leave me be."

"But he figured you out, didn't he?"

"Yeah ... and boy was he mad. He slapped that damned ofuda on my head and I was stuck that way until just now. Who knows how many people man-handled me before you came along."

"Really?" It was an interesting story, but Frankie wasn't sure if he should believe the tanuki or not. He was cute, but cute didn't always mean trustworthy. Alan was proof of that. Okay, that wasn't really fair. Alan probably had his reasons for breaking up with Frankie like that, but it still sucked and Frankie was still stinging from the whole ordeal.

"Yes, and I owe you a lot." The tanuki's face got serious. "What can I do to repay you? I need to do something. Debts are a very serious thing to a tanuki, you know."

"You should really thank my mom. She's the one who bought you and sent you here."

"She may have bought me, but you're the one who pulled that ward off and freed me. So, what can I do for you?"

"Look, I'm glad I could help, but I don't really need anything from a tanuki."

The tanuki's ears drooped unhappily. "Please ... there must be something."

"Can you make my ex-boyfriend come back to me, or at least talk to me?" Frankie kicked himself mentally. He wanted to discourage the tanuki, not sound desperate.

The tanuki shook his furry head. "I don't have any magic that can do that." He did a little handstand on his front paws and twirled once. "I can dance, though." The tanuki then hopped back on to his back paws and looked hopefully at Frankie. "And I'm an excellent hunter, especially when it comes to bugs."

"Um, thanks ... but I think I'm good. I get my fill of dancers at work and I don't really have a bug problem."

"Oh..."

There was that kicked puppy look again. Frankie sighed. He was in no mood for any of this. "Look, I don't know what else to tell you ... but if it helps, you can stay here for a few days, or at least until you figure out what you want to do."

The tanuki shook his head. "No, if there's nothing I can do then I should go. I owe you too much as it is."

"Wait, it's dangerous out there." Now Frankie felt like a real jerk. It wasn't the tanuki's fault that he was in a bad mood. "I'd hate for you to get hurt out there because of me."

There was a brief flick of those velvety-looking ears as the tanuki hopped off the table and headed for the door. That probably meant that the tanuki heard him but was trying to ignore him. Frankie's old cat used to do that to him whenever it was pissed at him.

The tanuki reached up, opened the door and before Frankie could say anything else, it was gone.

Frankie sprawled back onto the couch and rubbed his temples with his fingers. Wow, he was doing really well today. First, Alan dumped him, and then his Christmas present walked out on him. Frankie was tempted to just go to bed right then and there just so his day couldn't get any worse.

It was dark when Frankie finally hauled himself off the couch. He was tired of moping around his apartment and decided to go down to the club and have a little fun. It wasn't often that Frankie got a night off and he meant to take advantage of it. He glanced at the clock. It was nearly eight, which meant that he could grab a quick shower and still get down to the club and catch Aoi's cowboy routine. Aoi may have been taken but watching him dance always brightened Frankie's day. And this was one day that could definitely use it.

Frankie headed into the bathroom and set the water temperature to just short of scalding. He tugged off his jeans, shirt and boxers and stepped into the shower. Oh, that hit the spot. Frankie stuck his head under steamy spray, letting the water soak into the sleek muscles of his back.

The shower felt good but wasn't really helping his mood. That left him with "Plan B." Frankie braced one hand against the smooth tile and trailed the other down his chest and over the sleek muscles of his belly. He wrapped his fingers around his cock, sliding up and down hard, wet flesh. Jacking off was

always a good way to get rid of tension and boy, did Frankie need it. There was a ball of tension sitting in Frankie's gut and another knotted between his shoulders. That needed to be dealt with before Frankie went anywhere or he wasn't having any fun.

Frankie closed his eyes and moved his hand a little faster. It would have been a lot nicer if Alan was there with him, that lithe, little body sliding against his own, all slick and soapy.

Frankie shook that last thought from his head. His pretty blond ex was not coming back, no matter how much Frankie wanted him to.

Damn, that totally killed Frankie's mood. He gave his cock one last half-hearted pull before giving up. Every time he closed his eyes, Frankie saw his ex and Alan was the last person he wanted to jack off to, especially today.

Frankie sighed and stepped out of the shower. He definitely needed to go down to the club and get distracted. Whether it was just watching a dance or two, or even picking up a hot one night stand, Frankie didn't really care as long as it took his mind off of Alan. Frankie toweled off and grabbed a pair of jeans out of his drawer and his leather vest out of his closet. Both were a little worn but clean and that was what mattered. He fiddled with his hair for a bit and headed down to the club.

Frankie got downstairs just in time to see Aoi dance.

Maybe it was the chaps or the way Aoi rubbed himself against the pole, but Frankie was definitely feeling better. Of course, it also helped that Dante wasn't around to pester him.

He shifted and leaned his back against the bar. It had been a while since he could just sit and watch the people milling around. Alan always insisted on going out somewhere instead of hanging out at the club. Then again, Frankie was pretty sure Alan wouldn't be caught dead in The Body Shop. Alan didn't even like coming over to his apartment. Frankie sighed. He really needed to stop thinking about his ex.

Frankie gave the room another once over. "Oh, hello..." His eyes were drawn to one of the small tables halfway between the bar and the stage. Sitting there was the hottest young man he had ever seen. Long, dark brown hair tipped with auburn and gold straggled into a fine-boned and boyish face and over slim shoulders. He was new, too. Frankie definitely would've remembered if he'd seen that boy before.

"What are you doing here? I thought Kale gave you the night off?"

Damn. Frankie turned and tried not to look too annoyed. "Hey, Dante." He was surprised to see Dante in a pair of dark gray slacks and a light blue dress shirt. It was a lot different than the tight T-shirts and short shorts or even the leathers Dante usually wore.

"Hey, yourself." Dante hopped onto a bar stool and eyed Frankie with curiosity. "So, are you done moping yet?"

"I guess..."

"That's good. It's nice to see you down here instead of holed up in your apartment. Going out and being social is the first step. So, did you finally realize that you're better off without what's-his-face?"

"Don't start with me, Dante." Frankie took a deep breath and counted to ten, twice. He was in no mood to deal with Dante, especially after the whole thing with the tanuki earlier. "I came down here for a little distraction, not to talk to you about Alan or my current lack of a social life."

"Fine..."

"Why are you still here, anyway? And what's up with the clothes? You look like you're going on a job interview or something."