Tabloidology (12 page)
The next morning before school, Trixi knocked politely on Ms. Baumgartner's office door. “Oh, excuse me, Ms. Baumgartner, but I have the latest edition of the school newspaper for you to see, just as you requested.”
Ms. Baumgartner looked up from her desk and smiled. “Why, thank you, Trixi. I certainly look forward to reading it over. I'm sure you and Martin have done a wonderful job with this week's edition.”
Trixi smiled and left the office without another word.
For the next twenty-four hours, Martin worried about what trick Trixi might pull with his newspaper this time around. Even though Ms. Baumgartner's new rules were supposedly prank-proof, Martin knew one thingâwith Trixi Wilder, anything was possible.
W
hen Ms. Baumgartner called Trixi down to her office Wednesday morning, everything appeared to be going smoothly.
“You and Martin did a fine job with this week's paper,” the principal said. “I read over every page, every line and every word, and I couldn't see one thing that would offend, shock or annoy anyone. All the stories look like they've been carefully researched, plus the spelling and grammar are perfect. Well done!”
“Thank you, Ms. Baumgartner,” Trixi said. “But I was just wondering about one thing.”
“And what's that, Trixi?”
“Do you think anyone will actually want to buy this paper and read it?”
“We'll just have to see, won't we?” Ms. Baumgartner said. “My main concern is that the stories in the newspaper truly represent our school. And I certainly think this edition does.”
“But if we can't sell enough copies, we won't be able to pay for the photocopying, and you'll have to shut the paper down. Isn't that what you told us?” Trixi said.
“Well, certainly. You are absolutely right. The paper must sell enough copies to pay for itself. But let's not worry about that now. You just go ahead with the photocopying, and we'll see how sales go.”
Ms. Baumgartner let Trixi into the photocopy room. Before she left, the principal whispered, “I'd suggest not making too many copies, if I were you. You know. Keep your expenses down.”
Just before recess, Trixi set up a table in the front hall by the office, neatly stacked the copies of the latest edition of the newspaper and placed a tin can with a slot cut in the top beside them. She folded her hands together, rested them on the table and waited.
Martin slipped out of class a minute before the bell and sneaked into the paper-storage room. He left the door open a crack, giving him a perfect view of Trixi and the newspaper sales table. With the sweaty palm of his hand gripping the doorknob, he watched the sale of his newspaper knowing that enough copies had to sellâ¦or else.
When the recess bell sounded, there was a stampede of students pouring out of classrooms and charging down the halls toward Trixi's table. This time, Ms. Baumgartner was prepared. She blew a whistle and shouted, “Anyone who does not line up in an orderly fashion will not be sold a copy of the school newspaper!”
Martin breathed a huge sigh of relief as he watched the lineup grow, stretching straight down the hall, past the library, around the corner and out of sight. Everyone in the lineup was chattering with excitement.
“I can't wait to see what crazy stories they came up with this week!”
“I wonder if there'll be any stories about prehistoric flying reptiles coming back to life!”
“Or maybe an invasion of three-headed alien robots with bad breath!”
“Or how about a pack of crazed zombies out for revenge with deadly rolls of dental floss?”
But when Chucky Wilson, the fifth person in line, bought his copy of the paper and looked at the front page, he spluttered, “What happened to the newspaper? I can't believe it! It's just like the old one!
Water in Drinking Fountains Safe to Drink!
Who wants to pay twenty-five cents to read garbage like that?” Chucky tore up his copy of the paper and threw it down on the table. The first four kids who had bought papers tossed them in the recycle bin, and sales of the paper came to a sudden halt.
Word quickly spread down the long line that the school newspaper was back to its boring old self. The lineup scattered.
When Martin saw the crowd leaving, he burst through the door of the paper-storage room and ran down the hall shouting, “Come on, everyone! Give the paper a chance! It'll be the best twenty-five cents you've ever spent! This paper is loaded with good, solid facts! You'll know what really happened around the school last week!”
But everyone in the lineup ran away from Martin as if he really was a zombie armed with a deadly roll of dental floss. In a few seconds, the only ones left in the hall were Martin, Ms. Baumgartner and Trixi.
“Well, it looks like this was the last edition of the
Upland
Green Examiner
,” Trixi said, drumming her fingers on the stack of unsold copies of the newspaper.
Martin threw his hands up and said, “Doesn't anyone in this school appreciate solid factual reporting? Doesn't anyone want to be properly informed?”
“I guess not,” Trixi replied.
Martin pounded the table with his fist. “I know what you're thinking, Trixi Wilder!” Spit flew from his mouth as he spoke. “But that last newspaper you made up wasn't a newspaper at all! It was junk food for the brain!”
“Martin. Calm down,” Ms. Baumgartner said. “There's no need to get so⦔
Martin was gone. He ran down the hall, into the paper-storage room, and slammed the door.
“Don't worry about him, Ms. Baumgartner,” Trixi said. “Knowing Martin, he'll be okay in a while. He just needs some time to himself.”
“I suppose you're right, Trixi. We all need time to ourselves once in a while,” the principal said. “Why don't you head outside for some fresh air? There's still ten minutes left of recess.”
“It's okay, Ms. Baumgartner. I think I'll just stay here. You never know when someone might change their mind and come back for a copy of the paper,” Trixi said.
Martin was huddled in the corner of the paper-storage room. Before any horrible thoughts of revenge or escape could fully form in his mind, he heard shouting and screaming out in the front hall. Curiosity got him up off the floor. He pulled the door open a crack and peeked out. It was just like the scene a week ago! A chaotic mess of kids was pushing, pulling, falling over, jumping upâdoing everything they could to fight their way toward the table where Trixi was selling the school newspaper.
Ms. Baumgartner was there too. This time, she wasn't quite so worried about crowd control. She stood back and smiled. When she saw Martin coming out of the paper-storage room, she waved him over and said, “It's taken a while, but I think the students finally appreciate your newspaper, Martin. Just look at them!”
Martin had mixed feelings about the scene. Of course, he was happy. His paper was actually selling. He knew his newspaper was good. In fact, this edition might even be great. But he never imagined it could ever be this popular. This was truly amazing.
So amazing that Martin felt a little uneasy. Even though he'd written every word of the newspaper, and Ms. Baumgartner had checked it over, a terrible suspicion crept through his mind. After all, this was Trixi Wilder sitting behind the table selling the newspaper.
“Hey, Martin!” Darcy Brookman shouted. He was across the hall and waving a copy of the newspaper. “You two did it again! I love the story about the drinking fountain!”
Ms. Baumgartner smiled. “I knew they'd find that story fascinating, Martin. Didn't I tell you?”
Jenny Butler, in Mrs. Langley's class, ran up to Ms.
Baumgartner with a worried look. “Ms. Baumgartner! I can't stand frogs! They're so icky and slimy, and I just can't stand them!”
“Oh? Isâ¦Is that so, Jenny?” Ms. Baumgartner replied.
Now, Martin was more than suspicious.
“You still have your voice, Ms. Baumgartner!” Darryl Barnard said with a grin.
“Yes, of course I do,” she replied. “Why shouldn't I?”
Darryl just snickered.
The principal turned to Martin and said, “What's Darryl talking about, Martin? Why would he ask about my voice?”
“Iâ¦Iâ¦I have no idea, Ms. Baumgartner,” Martin said.
“I hope there's no funny stuff going on with the paper, Martin! I gave the two of you strict instructions!”
Before Martin could say a word, Ms. Baumgartner disappeared into the crowd, fighting her way through the tangle of flailing arms and legs toward the table. When Ms.
Baumgartner's face suddenly appeared out of the crowd, Trixi looked up and grinned.
“As you can see, sales are brisk,” she said, leaning on the stack of unsold papers and covering the front page with her arms.
Ms. Baumgartner snapped her fingers three times and pointed at the stack of papers.
“A paper?” Trixi said. “You want to buy a paper, Ms. Baumgartner? It'll cost you fifty cents. The price has gone up because the newspaper's so popular. And we only accept exact change, I'm afraid.”
