Sydney Harbour Hospital: Tom's Redemption (17 page)

Never as an adult
.

Or as a teenager. When Amy died, she’d stopped sharing her thoughts with others and she’d never experienced a strong connection with anyone since, but now with Tom, it felt … right.

Her arm crossed her chest as she placed her hand on top of his. ‘It was a seriously lousy day, but how did you know?’

‘You’re playing the piano.’

She laughed. ‘I’ve been known to play the piano after a good day.’

He raised his brows and put his hands on the piano stool, feeling for the edges. She moved along, creating some space, and he sat down next to her. His hand pressed on her thigh and a tingle shot through her.

‘Just as I thought.’ He smiled at her. ‘You’re wearing what I assume are old and faded tracksuit pants. They’re your comfort clothes.’

She stared at him, aghast that he’d worked that out about her. She only wore them because he couldn’t see how tatty they were. ‘How do you even know I own tracksuit pants?’

He laughed. ‘You’re chronically untidy, Hayley, and I tripped over them once in the bedroom.’

‘Oh, hell, I’m sorry.’ Learning to share a house with someone after years of living alone was one thing. Sharing with a blind man was something else entirely. ‘I can move out if it’s not working.’

Please say no
.

He squeezed her thigh. ‘My offer stands, but I think I’ve worked out the reason you’re still single.’

His teasing made her smile. ‘Your logic is flawed. If I’m single due to being messy, how come you’re single when you’re a neat-freak?’

‘I tried living with a woman once, but the relationship got in the way of what I wanted to achieve and I can’t see that ever changing. What’s your excuse?’

She blinked at his unexpected reply. He wasn’t known for volunteering that sort of information about himself and his question to her caught her unprepared. ‘I don’t think I’m the sort of person who falls in love.’

Her heart suddenly rolled over and she rubbed her chest at the ache.

‘I knew you were a sensible woman.’

His words circled her, adding to the ache and bringing with them an unaccountable sadness that swamped her. She tried to shrug it away but it wouldn’t leave. She sighed as confusion added to the mix. ‘That’s me. Pragmatic and sensible.’

He leaned in, his hand seeking her cheek, and then he kissed her gently. ‘Talking of sensible, while you’re here, can you please try and pick up and put things where they belong so I don’t break a leg?’

She bit her lip. It was incredibly generous of him but she was compelled to tell him about the phone call she’d received earlier in the day. ‘I spoke to the insurance assessor
today and although the job’s been approved, the problem is finding tradesmen because they’re swamped with work.’ She took in a deep breath. ‘It could be a month or longer.’

He didn’t say anything and for a moment she thought she read regret on his face. Regret that he’d offered so quickly that she should stay for as long as it took to fix her house. Then he nudged her arm with his. ‘At the rate you’re going I’ll have just got you house-trained and it will be time for you to leave.’

‘Hey.’ Indignation flowed through her on the back of relief. ‘I’m not that bad.’

This time he rolled his eyes. ‘Even Gladys commented on the spare room mess.’

‘Gladys complains about everything.’

‘True, but I knew her before I went blind and I know she cleans everything to within an inch of its life so I’m keeping her.’

She pondered that. Did Tom think people would take advantage of his lack of sight? He fought the limitations of his blindness every single second of every single day and his quest for independence was almost a religion. Apart from her lapses in tidiness, she’d quickly learned to unobtrusively assist him only when it was absolutely necessary and that usually only happened when they were out. When they were home, she forgot he was blind—to her he was just Tom.

Smart, gorgeous, wickedly ironic and with a caring streak a mile wide—not that he’d admit it. He made her feel special, cared for and safe. Very safe. These last ten days, sharing his apartment and living with him, had been the best ten days of her life. She loved being here with him.

You love him
.

No. That’s not possible. I don’t fall in love. We’re good friends. Mates
.

You’re way more than that and you know it
.
The empty space around your heart’s vanished. It’s why you just felt so sad when he called you sensible. It’s why the thought of moving out of here hurts
.

Oh, hell, she loved him.

Her breath caught in her throat as the reality hit her so hard she almost swayed. How had it happened? How had she fallen in love? What she and Tom shared was supposed to be sex and friendship, and falling in love was never part of the deal. He was adamant he didn’t want a relationship and it had never even crossed her radar as something to be cautious of because she’d never given her heart to anyone. When Amy had died, she’d closed down to avoid any more hurt. She specialised in keeping things light with everyone and maintaining distance. She’d never anticipated falling in love.

But it had sneaked up on her so slowly she hadn’t even realised it was happening.

Are you sure it’s not just lust?

But she knew it was way beyond that. The feeling was so different from the hot, burning need she experienced every time they had sex. No, this was like the steady warmth from an Aga stove—it eddied around her in a blanket of comfort and filled her with an all-encompassing happiness that made her smile all the time.

His right hand started playing the top notes of ‘Heart and Soul’ and she automatically started playing the bass to the well-known piece. It triggered a memory, but it didn’t douse her with pain like it might have done once. ‘I used to play this with Amy.’

‘It’s all I can play.’ He gave her a gentle smile, reached for her right hand and squeezed it.

Her heart swelled in a rush and she glanced at his handsome profile. Did he love her? Had love slowly arrived with him as well?

The relationship got in the way of what I wanted to achieve
.

That was when he was living a different life. He comes home early from work when he knows you’re home
.

That he cared for her she was in no doubt.

Caring was part of love
.

Was the gap between caring and love so very big? She hoped not.

She kept playing the continuous loop with one hand while her other snuggled in his, adoring their close connection and wanting to build on it. Build a future. ‘Why do you have such a beautiful grand piano if you don’t play?’

His hand slowed on the keys. ‘When you grow up with nothing, once you have money you tend to spend it on things the inner child was deprived of.’

‘An expensive home, a fast car and a piano?’

‘Got it in one.’

‘Anything else?’ She had an overwhelming need to know much more about the man she loved.

His head tilted in thought. ‘I’d always planned on getting a dog, but I was never home enough.’

‘And that’s why you didn’t get around to piano lessons?’

‘Running The Harbour’s neurosurgery department didn’t leave me with any time. I was never home.’

She suddenly had a brilliant idea. ‘So learn now.’

He stopped playing altogether and let go of her hand, his body bristling with intransigent tension. ‘Why? Because once the lecture series is over I’m unemployed and will have all the time in the world?’

‘No.’ She held her voice steady, refusing to fall into his
argument trap. ‘Look, I know you’re not certain what’s coming next or what you want to do and that’s unsettling, but if learning the piano is something you’ve always wanted to do, it won’t happen if you don’t make it a priority.’

Shoving himself to his feet, he caught the edge of the piano with his hip as he moved away. He swore and rubbed the bruised skin with his hand. ‘Learning to live blind is my priority. That’s my focus for the coming year.’

She bit off her automatic ‘Are you okay?’, saying instead, ‘It’s been your priority and it’s paid off in spades. You’re already doing amazingly well. Do you really need to take off another year?’

He made a strangled sound. ‘When I can use echolocation exclusively and walk without a cane,
that
will be doing amazingly well.’

His derisive expression ripped through her and she chewed her lip, feeling anxious for him. ‘Tom, that’s an admirable goal, but is it realistic?’

Anger scored his face. ‘Of course it bloody is.’

She rose to her feet and ran her hand along his arm, wanting to soothe. ‘If you hate the cane so much, why not think about a guide dog?’

‘No.’

He shook her arm away, his expression full of hurt. It was like she’d just mortally offended him.

‘Tom, I was only trying to—’

He held up his hand. ‘Look, we’ve both got work to do before dinner. You need to study and I have to convert my notes into braille for my final few lectures. I’ll leave you to it.’

He turned and walked away from her, the action as
sharp and loud as a door being slammed in her face. Her heart took the hit, and the deep purple stain of a bruise spread out across it.

CHAPTER TEN

‘B
LOODY
bow tie. I could never tie the damn things when I could see. Why does the vice chancellor’s dinner have to be formal?’

Tom almost flung the offending piece of silk onto the floor, but restrained himself because Hayley was sitting on the bed. There was something about her that made him want to control his frustration, which was odd because all his life he’d never experienced the urge to do that. Tonight it was hard to control because he needed to go to this dinner, but a large crowd in a noisy room meant a tough night for him.

Although he’d never admit it out loud, the fact Hayley had accepted his invitation to be his guest had mitigated some of his concerns about attending. She, unlike most people, had the knack of knowing when he needed the hated assistance and when he didn’t. Well, most of the time. She’d both crossed the line and shocked him when she’d suggested a guide dog. He’d thought she understood how important it was to him that he be totally independent.

Now, under the thread of his controlled anxiety about the evening was a simmer of anticipation. Hayley was fun to be with and her presence would temper any boring speeches that might be part of the event, given that Guy
Laurent was retiring. Tom could remember attending lectures given by ‘The Prof’ when he’d been a med student and Parkes wouldn’t be quite the same without him.

‘It’s a formal affair because a hundred and fifty years ago, when the first dinner was held, the tuxedo was de rigueur and you would have had a valet to dress you,’ Hayley said. ‘Besides, some traditions are worth holding on to. Plus, it fits in with Parkes’s amazing sandstone cloisters and the dining room with its high vaulted ceiling.’

She sounded almost wistful and the rustle of material as she stood up evoked a bygone era. ‘But most importantly …’ she gave a wicked laugh ‘… it makes all the men look as sexy as hell.’

‘So you plan on scoping out the talent this evening, do you?’ He’d intended the words to come out as joke, but they sounded unexpectedly tight and if they were to be awarded a colour, it would have been green.

‘Absolutely.’

Her smoky voice rode on top of a cloud of musky sandalwood scent, which wrapped around him as she stepped in close. The deeper and sexier evening fragrance was a delicious assault on his nostrils and in stark contrast to her more innocent summer-fresh scent of flowers with a citrus tang. His pulse quickened.

Hayley’s fingers brushed his neck as she pulled the material of the tie toward her and he moved with it, his lips meeting hers in a kiss she immediately deepened.

His arms instantly wrapped around her waist and he matched the kiss, wanting nothing more than to tear whatever she was wearing off her and follow the trail of that intoxicating scent. He broke off the kiss, the thought of staying in with Hayley burning strong. ‘We could just stay home.’

‘And waste my
one
opportunity of the year to get out of scrubs and wear a dress? I don’t think so.’

Her knuckles brushed his skin as her fingers tied and tugged at the bow tie. ‘There you go. Now you’re complete. You look all dark and decadent, like a man of mystery.’

‘And what do you look like?’ His hands settled on her hips, and then dropped lower, fisting into an ocean of soft, filmy material he couldn’t name. He then trailed upwards, across a tight fitted bodice that outlined the nip of her waist and the swell of her breasts and then his fingers touched skin. Warm, smooth skin that dipped and rose until his fingers nestled between her breasts. He swallowed hard and his voice came out hoarse. ‘Strapless?’

She laughed. ‘Totally strapless. It’s black with a band of white satin at the top of the bodice so I match you in black and white.’

An ache unlike anything he’d ever experienced took hold of him. ‘I wish I could see you.’

She caught his hands and placed one on her back and one on her chest and her voice came out soft and low. ‘You’ve already seen more of me than I’ve ever shown anyone.’

Her words vibrated deep down inside him before echoing back and he realised that over the last few weeks he’d shared more about himself with her than he’d ever shared with any other person. He hadn’t intended that to happen—it just had. She’d slipped into his life and into his home with an ease that stunned him. Since arriving back in Sydney, his home had been his sanctuary from the world—the one place he could really relax. He’d thought Hayley would damage that and he’d be spending more time at work, but instead she’d made his home even more
of a refuge. Just lately he’d even had moments of wondering what it might be like if she stayed.

Great sex every night
.

Huh! In your dreams. If you ask her to stay it will turn into your worst nightmare with her thinking white dresses, redecorating and babies
.