Switched: Brides of the Kindred 17 (18 page)

“
Well, sure, I guess,” Frankie said cautiously, although she
was privately determined
not
to take a shower on the base, wherever that was, or anyplace
else on this benighted planet.

“
Good. Since my vehicle is already here, I’ll drive. And I’ll
drop you off after the banquet tonight unless you want to go
celebrate at one of the brothels?” He raised white blond eyebrows
at her.

“
Uh…I don’t know,” Frankie hedged. She really didn’t want to
try having sex with another woman in Kerov’s body again. It was
weird and off-putting and made her feel dirty. But was this
something that Kerov did regularly? Would it look out of place for
her to refuse? “It sounds nice, I’m just…not sure I’ll be up for
it,” she said, hoping he would accept her answer without
suspicion.

The blond man frowned. “All right—I know that means ‘no.’” He
sighed and shrugged. “I don’t know why you never want to come with
me to the brothels but suit yourself. Just hurry up and get dressed
and
don’t
forget to bring your
dress uniform for tonight.”

As he turned away,
Frankie breathed a little sigh of relief. Even knowing that she
wasn’t Kerov’s ideal woman, she was still glad to find out he
didn’t go out to whorehouses. It would have made her like him
less—a lot less, actually. Not that it mattered how she felt about
him—it wasn’t like he was the love of her life or anything—he was
just some guy she’d accidentally switched bodies with. She just had
to get through the day pretending to be him and hope nobody saw
through her façade. But, oh, how she wished they could switch
back!

“
Please,”
she
prayed.
“I don’t
know what I did to deserve this but whatever it was, I’m sorry—so
sorry! Please let Kerov and I switch back to our own bodies before
I have to do anything crazy while I’m pretending to be him.
Please!”

For a moment Frankie got a strange feeling that her prayers
were being heard but they were
not
answered. She was still here—still in the big, muscular male
body instead of her own much smaller female one. Still trapped on
this strange planet, hundreds of millions of light years from her
home on Earth.

Apparently she was
stuck in Kerov’s body and there was nothing to do now but get
dressed for the parade and hope everything went all right.

Chapter Eight

“
No, no, no—what’s going on with you today, Frankie? Where is
your
flow?”

The woman called
Sheila, who was apparently the owner of The Lotus Pond, was
frowning at Kerov in a disapproving manner. She was tall and thin
with thick gray hair pinned in a messy bun at the top of her head.
Wisps of silvery-gray framed her angular features and wide, faded
blue eyes stared at him myopically. She was dressed, rather
whimsically, in tight trousers, covered in rainbows and animals
that a quick search of Frankie’s memories named “cats” which hugged
her boney body closely.

“
I
am not sure what you are talking about,” Kerov said stiffly. “I am
performing every pose that you asked me to show you correctly—am I
not?”

It was true, he had
been ransacking Frankie’s mind frantically for the last half an
arhn—half an hour in Frankie’s world—and finding each pose as
Sheila requested it. Though some of them seemed impossibly strange,
Kerov found the body he was currently inhabiting was amazingly
flexible and much stronger than it looked.

It gave him greater
respect for Frankie, realizing that she was able to pull off all of
these bizarre poses. Kerov still didn’t understand why anyone would
want to train their bodies to undergo such contortions but clearly
it was important to his host and so he had tried to honor her
training and knowledge. He’d thought he was doing a fairly good job
of it too—well, except for falling over during scorpion pose—until
Sheila had called a halt to the process.

“
I
don’t understand,” Kerov said again, frowning at the woman. “What
more do you want of me?”

“
I
want to see your spirit—your
flow.”
Sheila made broad, looping motions in the air with her arms,
waving gracefully like a tree in the wind. “You always bring such a
positive energy to any class—that’s one reason I wanted to mentor
you and let you teach here. But I’m not sensing any of that today.
In fact…”

“
Yes?” Kerov demanded when she paused, frowning.

“
In fact, you almost seem like a completely different
person.”

“
No I’m not,” Kerov felt a jolt of panic—no one must guess
about the Switch! “How could I be? I am the same Frankie you
have
always
known,” he stressed,
willing her to believe it.

Sheila frowned.
“That may be but your practice is most definitely off today, my
dear. It’s like you’re doing the positions I ask for by copying a
picture in a book. Your motions are jerky and uncertain—not
graceful and flowing. And the look on your face…well, it’s more
grim determination than peaceful harmony.”

“
I
am doing the best that I can,” Kerov said levelly. “I know that I
fell over when you asked me to do the slurpean pose—”

“
The
scorpion
pose.”

“
Yes, that.” Kerov waved a hand dismissively. “But in all
fairness, it’s difficult to balance on one’s forearms while
bringing one’s feet up and over one’s head.”

In fact that pose,
along with some of the other inversions, headstands and handstands
she’d asked him to do, had been extremely challenging. But Kerov
had managed to get them right—he’d thought so, anyway until she
made him stop.

“
I
wouldn’t care if you fell over fifty times as long as your energy
was right,” Sheila said, still frowning. “But it’s all
wrong
somehow. I can’t put my finger on it
but you’re just not
centered
today. Your energy is all over the place. It’s—”

“
I
can be
extremely
energetic,” Kerov interrupted her. To demonstrate, he dug
through Frankie’s mind, searching for a difficult pose Sheila
hadn’t asked for yet.
Firefly pose—I can do that!
“Watch this,” he told her. Balancing on his hands, he
leaned forward until he was supporting all of Frankie’s body weight
that way. Then he slowly brought his legs forward and tried to
extend them straight out on either side of his head.

Unfortunately, this was a pose that Frankie’s body apparently
had trouble with. Kerov found himself overbalancing and before he
could stop himself, he fell heavily to the floor, flat on his face,
with a bruising
thud.

Ouch!
He
jumped up quickly and dusted himself off, rubbing his forehead
where he was pretty sure a knot was already forming.

“
Let me try that again—I know I can get it right,” he told
Sheila.

“
Getting it right isn’t what yoga is all about,” Sheila said,
frowning.

“
It’s not? Kerov shook his head. What could this strange
practice of contorting one’s body into different shapes be about
then? “I’m not sure what you want of me,” he said
truthfully.

“
Let me ask you this—I’ve told you that if I hire you, you’ll
be teaching some of the beginner’s classes,” Sheila said. “What if
you have a student who comes to class but spends the entire time in
child’s pose?”

Kerov knew what that
meant—child’s pose was a resting pose—a position one went into to
relax. He didn’t like it himself—it felt strangely subservient to
crouch down and put his forehead to the floor while lifting his ass
in the air but Frankie’s store of information told him it was part
of the practice.

“
So this student would pay to come to class and yet spend all
of it in a resting pose with her face to the floor and her
posterior raised?” he demanded.

“
Exactly. Here she is—resting in child’s pose.” Sheila
motioned to a nearby mat as though the hypothetical student was
right there. “What would you say to her, this sweet child of the
universe?”

Kerov lifted his
chin—finally a question he could answer! He was used to dealing
with soldiers and had extensive knowledge of how to motivate people
to action.

“
On your feet,” he barked, glaring at the imaginary student.
“You paid good credit—er, money—to come to class today. Don’t waste
my time or yours lazing around on the floor with your ass in the
air. Get up and
work.”

“
No, no, no!” Sheila fluttered her hands in agitation, her eyes
wide and horrified. “You can’t say that to students and you
certainly can’t
shout
at
them.”

Kerov frowned. “I
only raised my voice for emphasis. Believe me, if I spoke so to one
of your students they would certainly get up and get moving.”

“
Moving right out the door, you mean,” Sheila said, crossing
her arms over her chest. “Everyone’s yoga practice is different,
just like everyone’s life is different. You don’t know what
happened to that student to make her stay in child’s pose. She
might have had a bad day at work or maybe she pulled a muscle but
she wanted to come to class anyway just for the healing
energy.”

“
The
healing
energy?”
Kerov
looked at her in disbelief. What kind of a crazy talk was Frankie’s
teacher spouting? How could energy heal anyone?

“
She might have just wanted to commune with the universe.”
Sheila’s myopic blue eyes were focused inwards now, a look of
dreamy concentration on her face. Seemingly unconsciously, she
began making the looping, flowing motions with her arms again,
humming softly to herself.

Kerov frowned at the
strange display.

“
I
am sorry but I fail to see how kneeling with one’s forehead to the
floor and one’s posterior raised high will allow communication with
the Space-Time Continuum.”

Sheila sighed, the
dreamy look leaving her face. “I think we’re going to have to call
this off.”

“
What? The test is over?” Kerov began to panic—he had never
done so poorly on an examination in his life! And it wasn’t
his
life he was ruining— Frankie would be
furious when she came back to her own body. He might not like her
views on the Kindred but strangely, he still valued her good
opinion. And it was a point of honor not to screw up her life while
he was running it. “Are you saying I failed?” he
demanded.

“
I
don’t like to apply labels like ‘pass’ and ‘fail’ to this
experience but I’m afraid I just don’t see you as a good fit for a
position at The Lotus Pond,” Sheila said.

“
But Frankie—I mean,
I
have to get this job,” Kerov protested. “It’s the only way
she—I—can stop working at the Secret of Victoria selling demeaning
and overpriced undergarments to females all day!” He had gotten all
this from Frankie’s store of information and her memories, though
he didn’t completely understand it.

“
I
know you’re not happy in your other job, my dear—I can sense it
when you talk about it,” Sheila said serenely. “But I cannot allow
someone who does not exude positive energy to taint The Lotus
Pond.”

Kerov held on to his
temper grimly.

“
I
did every pose you asked me to perform,” he growled. “I have
contorted my body into the most ridiculous and undignified postures
to please you. And now you speak of me ‘tainting your pond.’ This
is
outrageous.”

Sheila frowned.
“Perhaps you should just go, dear.”

“
Fine.” Kerov rose stiffly from the mat she had spread on the
floor for him. “I will take my leave.”

“
I
hope you’ll still practice with us, when you’re feeling more
yourself.”
Sheila cocked her head to
one side. “You know, usually you bring such peace and grace with
you, Frankie, but today you’re off. Your energy, it’s
warlike…belligerent. Almost…almost
masculine.”

Kerov took a deep
breath, trying to control his anxiety. This strange woman who
seemed so mystical and impractical could somehow sense that he was
a male trapped in a female’s body. And it was the second time she
had made a remark about Frankie seeming like a different person
today. His best bet now was to get away—far away.

“
I
am sorry I couldn’t please you,” he said, making a short, stiff
bow. “I hope you may grant me another chance to prove my worth at a
different time.” A time after Frankie had come back to her own
body, hopefully.

“
I
don’t know…I’d have to think about it,” Sheila said. “I can tell
you’re having an off day.”

“
That is an understatement,” Kerov said. He made a short,
stiff bow and retreated silently before Frankie’s teacher could
make any more uncomfortably astute observations.

As
he left the Lotus Pond, he shook his head. Frankie was
not
going to be pleased when she heard
about this! And he’d been so
sure
he could do better at living her life than she was at living
his—he hadn’t actually said it to her but it had been his secret
belief, especially after she had ruined things with Xirnah. He had
been thinking to himself that he would never foul up her existence
the way she had fouled up his. Clearly he had been
wrong.