Swimming in the Monsoon Sea (24 page)

“I suppose you have completely forgotten your promise about not monopolizing my cousin,” Amrith began abruptly. “You promised —”

“I didn’t promise you anything,” Mala replied, with equal rancor. “Just leave me alone, Amrith. I have had a very trying day.”

“He is
my
cousin,” Amrith shouted at her. Without realizing it, he had begun to pace up and down. “Why don’t you leave him alone?”

“Akka is right. You are jealous. A jealous baby.”

“And you’re a … a slut.”

Mala drew in her breath, appalled.

“You are, you are,” Amrith cried. “You think I don’t know that you are interested in Niresh? It’s so obvious, the way you’re throwing yourself at him. I’m surprised Aunty Bundle and Uncle Lucky have not noticed. I wonder what they would think about their daughter breaking their rule.”

“I haven’t done anything.”

“You have. You’ve encouraged Niresh, led him on.”

“Don’t be so awful, Amrith. I have not done anything improper. And I have not monopolized your cousin. I only spend time with him when you are at rehearsals.”

“What about coming to Kinross yesterday?”

“I was in the courtyard and he asked me.”

“You could have said no.”

“Well, I wanted to come.”

“Yes, so you could throw yourself at him.”

“Amrith!”

“He’s
my
cousin,
my
relative. It’s not fair. You have family and I don’t. Why do you want to deny me the one person I have? Do you have any idea what it’s like to be me? To grow up alone, with no family who loves you and —”

“Amrith!” Her face filled with dismay. She held her arms out to him. “How can you say that? We love you. We are your family.”

“No, you’re not. You’re not.” He was suddenly close to tears.

“I’ve always thought of you as my brother, Amrith. I have always loved you as my brother. I even love you a little more than I love akka and —”

“Well, I’ve never thought of you as my sister. Never.” He could not stop himself. “I’ve never loved you as my sister.”

She stared at him, horrified, then she burst into tears.

He turned his head away. “No, you are not my sister and I have always-always thought of you, all of you, as strangers. This has never felt like my home.”

With that, he turned and stalked out of the room.

Amrith felt no remorse. His anger had been stoked by his own cruelty and it flared and burnt through him. He was helpless in its grip.

When they were getting changed for bed that night, he said to his cousin, “Niresh, I think we should go on a trip.
Just you and I. We should go to Negambo and stay at Uncle Lucky’s aquarium. There is a small bungalow there. I’m sure I could get Uncle Lucky to have Soma take us. The watcher could do the cooking. We’d have a great time. It’s fantastic at night as you can see the fishermen going out. We could convince them to take us in their boats.”

“It sounds like a great idea, Amrith, but you know, I only have six days left and I kind of want to spend it here in Colombo. Do you mind?”

“No, why should I? It’s obvious you don’t want to spend time with me.”

“Ah
, no, Amrith, come on, that’s not true.”

“Yes, it is. You think I’m boring and because I am two years younger, you are tired of my company.”

Niresh looked at him astounded. “Why are you saying such a thing? I never feel that way.” He put his hand on Amrith’s shoulder. “This time with you has been the best in my life. I really mean it. Better than anything in Canada.”

But no matter what Niresh said, Amrith knew his cousin was in love with Mala. He shrugged his hand off and replied bitterly, “You’re lying to me. Just like you lie to everyone else.”

He went to his almirah and began to take out some clean clothes.

When he turned around, his cousin was seated on the bed, staring at him. He looked like he had been slapped.

T
he next morning, Amrith had a rehearsal and Niresh was going with Aunty Bundle to view the construction of a new hotel on the southern coast.

While they got dressed and had breakfast, Amrith could feel his cousin’s gaze on him. He vindictively refused to meet his eye.

As Amrith walked up the front path towards the school buildings, he looked at the clear blue sky and the sunlight that spread its beams over the manicured lawn, with its beds of impatiens and magenta croton bushes. His nerves were stretched to the breaking point.

When he entered the auditorium, Suraj was practicing his monologue onstage, interrupted often by Madam or Fernando so they could correct him and give him some
direction. Their voices were exasperated, as Suraj was not a very good actor at all. He had got the part because he looked, as Madam put it in her humorous way, “like a real thug.” The rest of the cast were seated in the front rows, watching.

Once Amrith had greeted Madam and Fernando, he went up the steps to take his place on Desdemona’s bed. As he crossed the stage, Suraj gave him a haughty glare. It was a warning. Amrith was not to tell anyone about Suraj’s humiliation, when he was brought over by his mother and forced to apologize. Amrith raised his eyebrows challengingly and Suraj, out of surprise, dropped his gaze.

Amrith passed him and lay on the bed, his hands folded over his chest.

Suraj began his monologue again. He soon reached the point when Othello approached the sleeping Desdemona and bent down to kiss her. As he leaned close and pretended to do so, he glared at Amrith, who returned his gaze unblinkingly.

Suraj had performed the action of bending so awkwardly that Fernando leapt up on the stage, crying, “For goodness’ sake, Wanigasekera! That foot-ruler in your other hand is supposed to represent a lamp. If you tip it like that, you’ll set the bed on fire.” He came up to them and showed Suraj how to lean over the bed properly.

When Fernando left the stage, Suraj said in a low voice, “Don’t think you’re a big shot. I could make you very —”

“What? Very what? Do you want to come to my house again like a pariah dog, with your tail between your legs?”

Suraj was silent, out of shock at Amrith’s audacity. He began his monologue. He once again reached the point when Othello approached the sleeping Desdemona and leaned down to kiss her. As he bent close over him, he glowered at Amrith, who gazed back unflinchingly.

“Who’s there? Othello?”
Amrith narrowed his eyes at Suraj.

“Ay, Desdemona,”
Suraj replied, with a stern frown of warning.

“Will you come to bed, my lord?”
Amrith shrugged ever so slightly to say he didn’t give a damn about his warning.

“Have you prayed tonight, Desdemona?”

“Ay, my lord.”

“If you bethink yourself of any crime

Unreconciled as yet to heaven and grace
,

Solicit for it straight.”

“Alack, my lord, what may you mean by that?”

With each line, Amrith and Suraj were ascending higher and higher in their challenge to each other. When they finally reached the part where Othello accused Desdemona of being unfaithful with Cassio, Amrith, rather than beseeching Suraj as he had been directed to do, replied with anger. Suraj raised his ire to match Amrith’s and finally they were shouting at each other.

“Down strumpet,”
Suraj cried.

“Kill me tomorrow; let me live tonight,”
Amrith yelled back.

“Nay, and you strive —”

“But half an hour!”

“Being done, there is no pause.”
Suraj rested his hands around Amrith’s neck.

Amrith had been directed to lie back and just place his hands on Suraj’s arms imploringly, but now he struck out at Suraj’s arms. Suraj pressed down harder, trying to hold Amrith. Soon, they were struggling in earnest. A wild surge rushed through Amrith. He lifted his knee, kicked out, and caught Suraj in the stomach. Suraj broke away and Amrith leapt from the bed.

They stood panting, looking at each other.

“De Alwis, Wanigasekera!” Madam and Fernando were hurrying towards the stage. “What on earth is happening?”

“It’s Suraj, Madam,” Amrith cried, “he tried to strangle me.”

“I did not! I was only pretending to do so, but then he began to struggle, Madam, and so I tried to —”

“I did not struggle just for nothing. You were trying to choke me.” Amrith came towards the edge of the stage. “And anyway, Madam, why wouldn’t Desdemona struggle? It does not make any sense. After all, she loved Othello and was faithful, and he is a bloody fool believing everyone but his own wife. It doesn’t make sense that she would lie there like a meek-and-mild type. It’s not realistic.
He
has betrayed
her
. She should be furious and fight him as he tries to kill her. Wouldn’t anyone put up a fight if they felt they were unjustly treated and —”

“De Alwis!” Madam tapped the edge of the stage. “Stop pacing, De Alwis.”

Amrith stood still. He had not realized that he was doing so.

Madam looked at him for a long moment. Then she glanced at Fernando and indicated for him to follow her.

The moment they were out of the auditorium, Suraj said to him, “I’m not done with you.”

Amrith did not respond. He was staring after Madam and Fernando with dread.

The other boys had been watching the interaction onstage with great interest, and some of them began to call to Suraj, telling him to deal with Amrith afterwards, to not let a junior cheek him in that way. Yet, Amrith hardly paid these threats any attention, for he noticed that Peries was looking at him, a triumphant smile on his face.

Madam and Fernando soon came back into the auditorium. Their faces were grave as they walked down the aisle towards the stage. Amrith felt a coldness spread through him.

Madam reached the front of the auditorium. She called for Amrith to leave the stage. As he walked down the steps, his legs were trembling. He went and stood in front of her. All the other boys were silent, watching.

“De Alwis,” Madam sighed. “Though this is a very difficult decision, I am afraid I have to take the part away from you.”

“Ah
, no, Madam,” he pleaded, clasping his hands together. “Please give me one more chance.”

She shook her head. “I am afraid I cannot. I warned you last time that this might happen, if you did not improve.”

“But, Madam,” he said imploringly, “I have learnt my lines; I am putting my best into the part. My very best.”

“Yes.” She looked at him gently. “I know you are. But, De Alwis, it is not working out. I am sorry. This part is just not meant for you.”

“Please, Madam, let me try one more time.”

She shook her head. “My mind is made up. You will play Cassio.” She ran her hand over her forehead. “Okay, boys,” she said in a tired voice, “let’s do the scene again.” She gestured to Peries. “Go and take your place on the bed.”

Madam and Fernando took seats a few rows back.

Amrith continued to stand where he was, numb with shock. Finally, when he saw that Peries was lying on the bed, he went and sat in the front row. As he watched Peries perform his role, a heavy misery took hold of him.

When rehearsals were over, Amrith left ahead of the others. He was waiting in the shaded portico of the main building for his car to arrive, when Suraj bounded down the steps to him.

“Ah
, Michael Cassio, waiting for your darling Iago to pick you up?”

Amrith looked at him, too miserable to say anything.

Suraj snickered. “Act three, scene three, De Alwis. You’ll see yourself in there, no doubt.”

“Wanigasekera!”

They turned. Madam and Fernando were standing at the top of the flight of steps. She crooked her finger
sternly at him. “Wanigasekera, you don’t know the first damn thing about Shakespeare. You’re a complete dolt.” She turned to Amrith and said, “De Alwis, I see your car is at the gate.” She waved her hand for him to be gone.

As he left, he heard her say, “Wanigasekera, I have friends in the theater world who are
that way
inclined, and it’s no laughing matter in this country. I don’t like such things being ridiculed. Don’t ever do that again.”