Swept Away (15 page)

By the time he had returned to Briarcliff, Raven was so anxious to see Eden he raced up the stairs and did not slow his pace until he had charged through his room and into hers. Finding it empty, he cursed like the sailor he was, and tore back down the stairs. When he could not find her in any of the rooms where she might be expected to be, he sought Abbot’s assistance.

“I believe Lady Clairbourne is in the garden, my lord. She usually spends the afternoons there.”

Raven waved his thanks to the butler as he sped out the double doors. The terrace overlooked the garden, but a hurried glance revealed Eden was not seated on any of the shaded benches. Frustrated by his lack of success, Raven was about to return to the house to tell Abbot to send the staff out to look for Eden when he sighted a patch of apricot on the distant cliff.

Recognizing the pale color as the shade of one of Eden’s favorite gowns, he could think of only one reason for her to have strayed so far. Terrified she was about to throw herself to the rocks below, he prayed he could reach her in time to prevent such a horrible tragedy. Skirting the winding paths of the garden, he vaulted the low hedges and flowering shrubs in a mad dash to save her life. He had never run so hard, but the lawn that extended between the end of the garden and the cliff’s edge seemed a mile wide even though he nearly flew across it.

The sound of the surf kept Eden from hearing Raven’s wild approach until he was within a few yards of her. She turned then, and delighted to see him after a long and trying day, she welcomed him with a bright smile before pausing to wonder why he was in such a great hurry.

Raven had expected hysterical tears and defiant screams, but when Eden smiled as she turned to face him, he knew immediately suicide had not been on her mind. Feeling like a complete ass, he slid to a bone-jarring halt, then had to lean forward and rest his hands on his knees while he struggled to catch his breath.

Thinking he must have some sort of terrible news, Eden ran to Raven’s side. “What’s wrong?” She was tempted to reach out and touch his curls, but stopped herself.

“Nothing,” he managed to assure her between deep gasps. Horribly embarrassed, he straightened up as quickly as he could, but his breathing was still labored.

“Well, something dreadful must have happened or you wouldn’t have run out here like that,” Eden prompted as she reached out to take his arm. “It isn’t the War, is it? Has there been news of the War?”

Raven held up his hand in a plea for patience, and in another moment he was able to speak. “I didn’t hear any news from America. It was just that I saw you out here on the cliff, and I was afraid that you were about to do something desperate.”

Eden didn’t understand. “What are you talking about? What could I possibly do out here?”

That she didn’t see the obvious appalled him. “I thought you were about to leap off.”

Raven still looked so terribly upset that Eden didn’t doubt his words. She thought him absolutely daft for thinking such a thing, however. “Oh Raven, where did you ever get such an absurd idea?” She couldn’t help but giggle then, and she was grateful she had him to hold on to when she could not control the riotous peals of laughter that bubbled up from deep inside her.

That he had exhausted himself racing to rescue her when she had not been in any danger was bad enough, but that she would ridicule him for it was more than Raven could bear. Infuriated with her, he grabbed ahold of her upper arms and lifted her clear off her feet.

“Don’t you ever laugh at me again!” he shouted in her face. “Don’t ever make that mistake again!”

Dangling in midair, Eden was aghast to find he did not think the situation as humorous as she did. His dark eyes were aglow with the fury of his rage and she clung to his lapels, terrified that he might be angry enough to fling her off the cliff himself.

“I wasn’t laughing at you,” she argued in a frantic whisper.

Raven watched her eyes fill with tears, and certain she was no longer in any mood for laughter, he placed her on her feet. “Women have killed themselves over a lost love. You must know that’s happened.”

When he released her, Eden backed away. “Is that what you feared, or what you were hoping for, Raven? You’re not the only one who despises pretense. Just forget that Alex hoped we might marry. There’s no way I’ll ever marry you when it’s plain you’d rather see me dead!”

Raven clenched his fists tightly at his sides but he didn’t follow Eden when she ran away from him. She might have called him a bastard and laughed in his face but he certainly did not wish her dead. No, he wanted her very much alive, and if she had not fled from him when she had, he knew in another instant he would have pulled her down into the grass and taken her right there.

He waited until she had reached the terrace before turning away and walking to the edge of the cliff. He waved to the men on the deck of the
Jamaican Wind
and decided since he had come that far he might as well go out to the ship. A few hours spent with Randy would undoubtedly put him in a better mood, and it would also give Eden the time to realize how ridiculous her accusation that he wished her dead truly was.

Chapter Eight

August 1863

Eden did not dress for dinner. She remained in her room stubbornly determined to again make Raven dine alone but that plan was foiled when he did not return to Briarcliff. His failure to do so confused her as he had not impressed her as the type of man to turn tail and run.

Then a truly horrifying thought occurred to her. What if he had sailed for London on the He had certainly been angry enough to abandon her. Had he actually done it?
Jamaican Wind
?

Not willing simply to fret over such a dire possibility, Eden rang for a maid. By the time the girl reached her room, she had a note written for Abbot asking him to ascertain immediately whether or not Raven’s ship was still lying at anchor in Lyme Bay. She waited at her window, thinking whomever Abbot sent would be carrying a lantern, but a knock at her door soon drew her away from her vigil.

Abbot had come in response to her note, and the white-haired butler appeared to be baffled by her request. “Lady Clairbourne, if the ship is in the harbor, is there a message of some kind that you wish sent out to it?”

Other than to tell Raven to go straight to hell, Eden could not think of anything. “Why no,” she attempted to answer calmly, “I just wondered if the ship had sailed on the evening tide.”

“Lord Clairbourne would not leave without informing you of his intentions,” Abbot assured her.

Eden took the precaution of glancing up and down the hall, and seeing no other servants about, she hurriedly drew Abbot into her room and closed the door. “I know Alex trusted you, and I trust you as well. Raven and I are not well acquainted, and constantly misunderstand each other. How would you describe his character? I know Alex thought very highly of him, but I find it extremely difficult to hold such a generous opinion.”

To ask a butler for a personal comment on his employer was irregular, to say the least, but in the past month Abbot had found Eden’s unassuming charm so delightful he was not offended by her request and responded in a fatherly tone. “I have known Raven for nearly twenty years, my lady, and he has never given anyone reason to criticize his behavior. He is a fine man, and very young for the heavy load of responsibilities he bears. These are difficult times for all of us who loved Alex. If a problem exists between you two, it is doubly unfortunate coming now when each of you is suffering so badly from grief.”

Ashamed to think what he said about Raven might well be true, Eden was so embarrassed she had to turn away for a moment. It was clear to her then that she had had no real cause to accuse Raven of wishing her dead. He had simply frightened her half out of her wits, that was all, and perhaps it had been rude of her to laugh at him for thinking her about to attempt suicide. They had again made a complete mess of things, but she did not think she was the only one to blame. Not wanting to keep Abbot from his duties while she pondered her problems, Eden moved to the door and opened it for him.

“Thank you for being as good a friend to me as you were to Alex.”

“What about the ship?”

“It must be there. Please don’t send anyone out to look.”

Eden still wore a troubled frown, and Abbot hated to leave without having lifted her spirits. “Would you like the cook to send up some supper on a tray? I believe there’s roast pheasant tonight.”

Eden’s mouth began to water at the thought of the succulent bird. “Would you please? I’d rather not go down to the dining room, but I know I’ll soon regret not eating if I don’t have something. Pheasant sounds wonderful.”

Hoping he had been some small help to her, Abbot hesitated at the door. Eden was lovely, but very young to face the future alone. Realizing it was Raven’s place to offer counsel to her rather than his, he wished her a good evening, but he gave sending his own note out to the
Jamaican Wind
careful consideration before deciding to leave well enough alone.

Eden awakened frequently during the night, and each time she got up and looked in the adjoining room to see if Raven was in his bed. She would not have joined him, but it would have put her mind at ease to find him there. Morning arrived before he did, and she did not feel as though she had slept more than a few minutes. When she sat down at her dressing table to brush her hair, the dark circles beneath her eyes provided clear evidence that she had not.

Condolence letters had not yet begun to arrive from London, but as she ate a few bites of breakfast, Eden began to look forward to receiving some as writing replies would give her something useful to do although it would not be at all pleasant. With no mail to answer as yet, she went into the library in search of something to read. She found several novels with appealing titles, but when she sat down with one, she could not concentrate for more than a paragraph or two before her mind began to wander and she left the book lying open on her lap.

When Alex had been alive, being a countess had never been dull, but now the whole day stretched before her without a single responsibility to occupy her time. Abbot ran the house so beautifully that there was not a speck of dust on the furnishings nor a bit of tarnish on the silver.

The cook was extraordinarily talented and prepared delicious meals from the wide variety of livestock and produce grown on the estate. Eden had always been busy at home, and even at her aunt Lydia’s she had managed to find useful things to do. But Briarcliff ran itself, and she did not feel needed there.

The day was again bright and warm, but a sleepless night had left her without the energy to go out for a ride. “No one should be widowed at nineteen,” she whispered softly to herself.

Raven heard the sound of Eden’s voice, if not her words, and not wanting to interrupt a conversation, he peeked into the library to see to whom she was speaking. Finding her alone, he walked on in. “I thought it would be better for both of us if I remained on board my ship last night. If you’ve nothing better to do than talk to yourself, why don’t you come upstairs and help me sort though Alex’s things? Once we get that chore done, we can leave for London.”

Raven was in his shirtsleeves, his coat slung over his shoulder. Well-groomed as always, he looked rested and eager to get to work. Eden, however, felt completely drained. “Do you actually consider that an adequate apology after the way we parted yesterday?” she asked.

“On the contrary, I think you owe me one,” he countered smoothly.

Rather than argue with such an obstinate man, Eden slammed her book shut and rose to her feet. Knowing she lacked the interest to complete the novel, she replaced it on the shelf, and then preceded Raven out the door. “Alex had such a beautiful wardrobe. Can you wear any of his things?”

Surprised Eden had merely ignored his request rather than angrily persisting in her demand for an apology, Raven frowned slightly as he caught up with her. “No, I outgrew his clothes in my teens. The fact I was several inches taller threw everything out of proportion.”

“Yes, I understand. Do you want to give his clothes to the poor then?”

“No, there are men on the staff who can use a new suit of clothes.”

Eden didn’t argue as her father had frequently passed his clothes on to their servants and it was a common practice. When they reached his room, she went to the wardrobe and began looking through her late husband’s suits, making certain nothing had been left in the pockets while Raven chose to sort through the contents of the dresser.

That Raven had again assumed she would be leaving Briarcliff with him annoyed Eden no end, but she had spent enough time by herself since Alex’s death to know she ought not to remain there. She would have liked to have been asked what she planned to do though rather than told, however.

Raven had not noticed that Eden did not look well, and he was grateful for her silence as he looked through the assortment of tie pins, shirt studs, and cufflinks in Alex’s jewelry case. Finding the gold signet ring bearing the Clairbourne crest that his late uncle had occasionally worn, he tried it on. He liked the way the heavy gold ring felt on his hand and decided to wear it. He then set the small velvet case atop the dresser, and opened the next drawer.

The hummingbird-topped bottle tucked in the corner immediately caught his eye. He picked up the delicate glass container, removed the stopper, then tasted a drop of the fragrant oil. He recognized the damiana instantly, and turned toward Eden. “Do you know what this is?”