Swept Away (11 page)

He shook his head for a moment, rubbed his forehead, and lifted his eyes toward the ceiling.

Amber held her breath.
Think of something, please
.

“You have to make up those two classes to graduate—you’ll have to retake them in summer school. But even still, your grade point average will be affected by the Fs. I guess that’s part of the price you’ll have to pay.”

“It sounds more than fair, Principal Warner.” Mr. Stevens leaned forward to shake his hand. “Can you tell me, though, in your opinion, what you think UW will do?”

He leaned back in his chair and tapped his fingertips together. “I’ll shoot straight with you. They’ll let her admission stand, but they’ll pull the scholarship. That’s what I really think will happen.”

Mrs. Stevens pulled a tissue from her purse and blew her nose. “This is awful. It couldn’t get much worse.”

Numb, Amber still said nothing. What could she say?

“It could be worse. Mrs. Stevens. We could have found out about this the hard way—it would be much different for Amber if that had happened. But even worse—we might have never found out. That would have meant Amber was capable of letting her best friend take the blame and suffer all that Amber deserves to suffer herself.”

That sounded familiar to Amber.
Jesus
. The name echoed through her mind.
Jesus. He paid my penalty, He suffered my consequences, and I’ve totally blown Him off
.

Now what?
Amber kicked the stones and twigs out of her way as she trudged up the hill behind her house. She cast a backward glance at her home—it had once been a happy place. Even with the worn-out tile and cracked countertops, even with the ten-year-old carpet and the beat-up car in the garage, it had been a haven for a happy family. Why had she worried so much about things that didn’t matter and hurt her family in the process?

She slid to the ground, then leaned her back against her favorite tree and peered up into its boughs. Remembering hours upon hours of climbing and swinging from those branches, Amber smiled before she could help herself. Oh, for those easy days of no responsibility, no choices, no disappointments. She pulled her knees up to her chest and buried her face in the crook of her arm. She let the tears fall onto the dirt between her feet.

After a few minutes, she heard footsteps coming up the path. Before lifting her head, she used her sleeve to wipe the tears but couldn’t do a thing about her puffy eyes. Good enough.

She peeked up to see who approached. Mom. Having not spoken much since the principal’s office the day before, Amber didn’t know what to say.
Don’t cry
. But she couldn’t help it. Her eyes welled up again, and the tears continued to stream down her face.

Mom rushed to her side, gathered her daughter in her arms, and rocked her. For a moment, Amber felt like the little girl who had once climbed in the tree above them.

When she’d cried her last tear, Amber lifted her head to look at her mom. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered. “So sorry.”

“I know you are.” Mom lightly scratched her forearm like she used to do long ago. “I’m sorry, too, Amber.”

Amber eyes widened and she sat up straight. “You’re sorry? What on earth are you sorry for?”

“Your dad and I, well, we realize we failedas your spiritual guardians. In all of our effort to be ‘cool’ and to let you find your own way, we let you veer so far off the path that you lost your way completely.” Mom shook her head. “And what’s worse, we knew you were trying to come back. If only we’d reached out more. Maybe if we’d found a church where we could all be happy, then none of this would have happened.”

“Mom, you can’t blame yourself. No matter how confused I got about faith, I never doubted what I was doing was wrong. Cheating is wrong in every situation.”

“Well then, why? Why did you do it?”

Amber hung her head. “I wanted to do my part. I wanted to help. We needed the car. Now we have nothing. I even lost my scholarship, which I already had before I cheated. We’re worse off now than we ever were before.”

“Sweetie, you need to stop this. Our car, our finances—they aren’t your concern. God has always taken care of us, and He always will.” Mom stood up and brushed off her running pants. “You know, there’s a reason God made adults the parents. You’re too young to carry that burden. At your age, you can’t possibly understand the right way to deal with the pressures of life. You’re learning, though—

the hard way, unfortunately.”

“I really messed up, big-time. Didn’t I?”

Mom chuckled. “Yeah, you sure did.” She crouched down to make eye contact. “But wait a second. I don’t want you to lose sight of the fact that when it came down to it, you did the right thing. That had to be a very difficult thing to do.”

“Yes, it was. But nowhere near as hard as watching Brittany go through what she did.”

She slugged Amber in the arm. “See, there’s hope for you, yet.” Mom winked. “Now, come on. Enough moping around. Let’s go for a nice long run.”

“Ugh, Mom!” Amber groaned and then smiled as a thought came to her. “I’m grounded, right?”

“Nice try. Come on, you’ll love it once you get into it—you always do.”

Amber’s rubbery legs climbed the stairs to her room. The three-mile run had felt good. The fresh air helped clear her head. She knew just what to do now.

Sitting at her desk, she reached into the drawer and grabbed a few sheets of paper. A real letter—Amber couldn’t remember when, if ever, she’d made the effort to write a handwritten letter. But this occasion demanded the personal touch—e-mail simply wouldn’t do.

Dear Brittany
,

I’m sorry. I wish I could go back and change everything—especially the way I felt about the contest. I was so wrong. I let those feelings lead me down a path and make a decision that caused you and other people I love a lot of hurt. I hope you can forgive me and let me try to repair what I’ve done. I’m sure you won’t be able to trust me right away, but with your forgiveness, I’ll be able to work on the trust part over time
.

I wish I’d tried harder to be involved in your church. I was starting to find my way back to God, and then I cut Him off by doing something so wrong. I’m sure even He wants nothing to do with me. Maybe in time, when things have healed a little bit, you can help me find my way to Him—if He’ll have me
.

I hope you’re enjoying your new car—you truly deserve it. I love you, Britt. You’re the most honest, loyal, and kind person I know. I let you down, I know that. I have a long way to go to grow into being even half the person you are. I don’t deserve you

for a friend, but I miss you so much. This is a difficult time for me—I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me and let me try to rebuild what I destroyed. I’ll do whatever it takes
.

Love, Amber

With her letter folded into a square, Amber hurried down the stairs as fast as her wobbling legs could carry her. “Dad, I need to use the car to take this letter to Brittany. It’s really important. Is it okay?”

He looked up from his magazine and pulled off his reading glasses. “Yes. It is. But first your mom and I want to talk to you. We have some news we want to share with you.”

He put his magazine on the floor and grabbed Amber’s hand, pulling her to the couch beside him. “First, I want you to know your mom told me everything you two talked about—I’m so sad this happened, but I’m proud of the way you’re handling it. It’s a rough learning experience, but we all make mistakes in life. Your mom and I are going to figure things out so we can all find the kind of relationship with God you described to me. No more factsand doctrine—we’re going to find His heart—together.”

“I’d like that, Dad.”

He smiled warmly. “Now. I have some news, and we’ve made some decisions.” He glanced at Mom and smiled.

She winked and nodded.

“I got a job—a good one. I got the call today.”

“Dad! That’s wonderful! Congratulations.” Amber beamed.

“Thank you. It’s very exciting. The thing is—” he glanced at Mom and then back at Amber—”we’re going to have to move. Believe me, it’s worth it. They are paying for the move, and we’ll be able to get this old house and all of its headaches off our back. Your mom and I need to downsize our lives a bit, anyway. A smaller, one-level ranch house is all the three of us need.”

Where? When?
Amber waited. His hesitancy assured her he had more to say.

“We’ll leave right after summer school is over. We’re moving only about forty minutes away from UW. My job is at the community college there.” He rushed his words. “Since I’ll be working at the college, you’ll get free tuition. Because of all that’s gone on, and since you’ll likely lose your scholarship, your mom and I want you to attend the community college for at least one year. And … you’ll have to live at home with us.”

Amber’s shoulders dropped. She and Brittany had had such big plan
s. I blew it
. She sighed. “I don’t blame you guys. I mean, we can’t even be sure they’ll let me go to UW next year anyway. And if we’re getting free tuition, it’s only logical. Don’t mind me.” She wiped the tears from her eyes. “I’m sorry I’m crying. It’s just … I had such big dreams—going away to school, being on a big college campus, driving my new car. It’s no one’s fault except mine, though.”

Mom and Dad waited and let her cry.

Dad rubbed her shoulder. “We know, sweetie. It has to be difficult for you. Sadly, the price for poor decisions can be really high sometimes. But, hey, we’ll be in a new house, you’ll get to go to college, you’ll meet new people … who knows, maybe this is all part of God’s plan for you.”

“Actually, I’m quite sure it is.” Mom nodded. “We need more time together. It’s not the right time for us to be pulled apart—too much has happened. We have to find a way to fix things before life tears us apart forever. One more year should do it.” She smiled.

One more year
. “That’s a good way to look at it, Mom.” She turned toward her dad. “I’m so happy for you, Dad. I’m going to have to come to terms with my own stuff a little later. It’s going to be okay, though. I can feel it.” She picked up the keys and dangled them. “Is it okay if I head over to Brittany’s for a few minutes? I have something I really need to take care of.”

“Sure. We’ll be praying for both of you, Amber.”

On the drive to Britt’s house, Amber considered the move. At least there would be a fresh start, and she’d be close to Brittany. She could get a job, save money for college, maybe buy a used car. She hadn’t planned for this, but it wasn’t the end of the world.
It could have turned out a lot worse
.

The car puttered up the driveway and stopped with a hiss. One more hurdle to jump. Note in hand, Amber approached the doorway. It opened before her finger reached the doorbell.

“Hi.” Brittany held the door open with one foot but didn’t invite her in.

“Britt. Would you read this? I’d like you to do it while I’m here. But if you don’t want to, that’s okay, too.”

“I’m sorry, Amber. I’ll read it. But not in front of you.” Brittany took the note and shut the door.

Amber’s shoulders slumped as she walked to the car and got into the driver’s seat. The final hurdle proved to be the most difficult. She gripped the steering wheel with one hand and reached for the ignition with the other.
Might as well go home
. The faithful car sputtered to life. Amber checked her rearview mirror and put the car in reverse. Just as she started to lift her foot off the brake, she heard a knock on the window.

Brittany’s tearful face peered into the car.

Trying not to get too hopeful, Amber unlocked the door and motioned for Brittany to get in. While she settled into the passenger’s seat Amber tried to think of something to say.

Brittany beat her to it. “I read your letter.” “Well, I—”

“Hold on. Let me say this.” Brittany took a deep breath. “Some of this problem came up because I didn’t accept your apology the first time. I didn’t let you change your mind about what you said on the ski lift. I held it over your head, and it caused you to have to stew over it and think about it when you wanted to let it go …”

“This isn’t your fault, Britt.”

“Oh, I know. I’m just saying, you apologized to me, and I believe you meant it then and now. I accept your apology. For real this time. I’d forgotten that being a Christian requires me to forgive others like I’ve been forgiven. So, it’s done.”

“Really? It’s that easy?”

“It’s not easy. I’ll be honest. I feel so betrayed by you. But then again, I have to realize how much you gave up to come clean when you saw me hurting. That definitely counts for a lot.”

“I’m so sorry. I wish there was something more I could say.” Amber clenched the steering wheel.
Please let it be that easy. Please help her forgive me
.

“I know you’re sorry, we’re past that. I also know you love me like a sister. I know that for sure. Somewhere along the way, you lost faith in everything, though.” Brittany looked out the window and shook her head. “Life became too heavy for you, and you trusted in yourself way too much. I, as your best friend, need to help you figure out a better way.” Brittany looked in Amber’s eyes, the concern evident on her face. “So … what happens to you now?”