Swell (30 page)

‘I think I’m scared.’

‘Of what?’

I instinctively knew he was not talking about the waves he had to surf in order to win the world title, which were terrifying to the average human being but not to a man like Jason.

‘Of failing?’ I suggested.

‘No not really, if it happens it happens. I’m actually more scared of winning.’

I glanced at Jason and the confusion was written on my face.

‘You see, I told you it would sound stupid.’

‘Not at all, I just don’t really understand.’

Jason looked around as if checking for spies and pulled his chair closer to mine. We huddled together in the manner of children plotting to run away.

‘The things is I’ve been thinking so much about myself since we started writing this book. Far too much about myself, which is not healthy, believe me. A man could get an ego.’

He tried to laugh. I smiled and waited for him to carry on.

‘After all that reflection, I summed up my life and what have I achieved? A dead mother, a brother in prison, a father I hardly see and when I do we don’t talk about anything that matters. We talk about women and waves.’

‘Hey, they matter,’ I joked.

‘Sure they do but I don’t have a wife or a woman to care for. I’d love to be doing all this for someone and have a person to share it all with. I’ve got a son I’ve seen for all of five minutes that I didn’t even know I had.’

His voice trailed off. I watched his shoulders slump and wrapped my arm around them.

‘You have had unprecedented success in your career. You’ve brought pleasure to millions of people. You have friends who love you.’

‘I know but tell me, Bailey, is that really success?’

His usually smooth skin creased into deep lines around his eyes and on his brow.

‘So, if I win at Pipeline, if I get this record world title, then what? I have put years into this dream and I’m almost there but what happens afterwards?’

‘I hadn’t really thought about it to be honest. I suppose you enjoy the glory and then decide whether you want to carry on.’

‘I hadn’t thought about it either until we got to Hawaii and the last leg of the race. Suddenly I’m thinking what am I going to focus on if I achieve everything I dreamed of? I’ve only got my career.’

I bit my lip, recognising instantly that Jason and I were very much alike. I had been focusing on my career for as long as I could remember and all I dreamed of was the moment I knew I had made it as a bestselling author. If truth be told I had never thought about the far side of that mountain. Once I,
if
I, reached that summit, what then? Was it a lonely descent that awaited me? I swallowed hard and rubbed my hand against Jason’s warm skin.

‘I don’t know how to answer that, Jason. To be honest, I didn’t have the foresight to think about it.’

‘Me neither but I’m nearly there and the truth is, it scares me.’

This was the most vulnerable I had ever seen Jason. Over the time we had worked together we had shared many special moments and memories but Jason’s defences were well and truly down and he had chosen me as his confidante.

‘You could stay up at the top for a while and look at the view before you decide where to go next. I’m sure things will look bright once you’ve achieved everything you dreamed of.’

He nodded slowly.

‘When you put it that way, it sounds less frightening.’

‘Good and you could set yourself a new goal. Why don’t you try and track down your son? It’s not your fault you didn’t know he existed and it’s never too late to try and be a father if you want to be.’

‘What if I mess it up? I don’t want to ruin the kid’s life.’

‘I doubt that would happen as long as you didn’t steamroll in without thinking. You’re an amazing person. What about the mother? How long were you together?’

Jason raised his head and a look of embarrassment flashed across his face. His mouth twitched.

‘About twenty minutes.’

We looked at each other for a moment, which was all the time we needed for any awkwardness to pass. We both doubled up with laughter.

‘Oh dear, Jason, and here was I imagining she was your lost first love.’

‘I was young and she was a pretty groupie who was a friend of a friend and…’

I raised my hands defensively.

‘You don’t have to go into the details. I get it.’

‘I’m a changed man, I don’t do that anymore.’

Jason slapped his hand against his forehead.

‘Dammit, what must you think of me?’

I tapped the top of my notebook.

‘You know what I think of you; it’s written in here. Although,’ I said with a smirk, ‘I may have to make some changes now.’

Jason blushed and a smile settled on his soft lips.

‘I can’t believe I just admitted that to you.’

‘Don’t worry about it, I’m your friend. I won’t judge you.’

‘Is that all you are?’

For a moment I was knocked off balance.

‘Well I am your biographer and friend.’

‘I know but’ - he shook his head - ‘as we’re being so honest, I was wondering whether you could ever see us being anything other than friends.’

I pressed my lips together and my stomach flipped. Jason clicked his knuckles.

‘I know it might be the wrong time to bring it up what with me just admitting
that
and all but I’ve been thinking a lot about it and well,’ he sighed, ‘now I’m getting tongue tied.’

I watched his tongue as it traced the line of his lips.

‘You have been doing a lot of thinking, Jason.’

I scribbled on the cover of my notebook. The blood rushed so fast through my veins it filled my head with white noise.

‘I remember what you said to me at the ranch and then everything we talked about in Spain when you told me about your father and so I know it might take some time for you to open up to the idea but’ – he inhaled slowly – ‘I just want you to know how I feel. Now I guess it’s just the thought of you leaving when this book is done. Completely selfishly, I don’t want you to go. I can’t imagine being without you.’

I blinked.

I can’t imagine being without you
, I wanted to say in return. It would have been such a release to just admit it but the words stuck in my throat.

My eyes searched his face. He was so handsome and so vulnerable I was drawn towards him and memories of our kiss flooded my thoughts. It had been the most overwhelming kiss of my life but I had pushed the experience into a dark corner of my mind where it could not be dangerous. Jason was a beautiful man, inside and out. He was no Cain Ohana and one special woman would have a wonderful life with him but I told myself we had a relationship that worked. He respected me and I him. I had almost completed the best work of my life. It was something solid and tangible. The heady dream of romance was not. He was in a vulnerable place, looking for security but who was to say whether that would last?

I closed my eyes and fought the urge inside me to just let myself fall into his arms. I searched for the right words.

‘Jason, I’m sorry, I…’

‘Hey, Jason, are you coming for a wave at Pipe?’

I opened my eyes. Rory was standing a metre away waving his surfboard happily.

‘Not now, Rory,’ Jason snapped.

‘Come on, mate, you’ve got to get out there if you want to be on top form for the contest. This isn’t the time for slacking off.’

‘Like I don’t already know how Pipe works? Give me a break, Rory.’

The smile faded from Rory’s boyish face.

‘What’s up with you two, did somebody die?’

‘We’re talking,’ Jason said impatiently.

‘Sorry, Jason, I just thought we could have a bit of fun free-surfing and work on some contest tactics,’ he said sadly.

‘Rory, if you need the practise, you go, I don’t need to babysit you.’

I glanced apologetically at Rory who shrugged. His smile quickly returned when a blossoming Ruby walked up behind him, wrapped her arm around his waist and reached up on her toes to kiss him.

‘Love you, darl’,’ she said.

Rory touched her slightly rounded belly and grinned.

‘Love you
two
.’

Jason watched them, his expression grim and without another glance in my direction, he marched across the grass towards the house.

CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

Ruby and I sat in companionable silence at the lookout post. I tried to concentrate on my work but attempting to take my mind off Jason while writing about him was a struggle. I wanted to confide in Ruby but she was too close to the situation to involve her. My mind raced.

The awesome waves at Pipeline were a welcome distraction. The swell was building every half hour and was now three times overhead. Ruby looked up frequently from her knitting (she was, as she put it, in her unfashionable nest-building phase) to search for Rory in the line-up, which was not an easy task. We had counted over seventy surfers crammed like sardines into the small take-off area at Pipe. Catching a wave involved not just positioning and strength but a battle of wills. Those in contention paddled aggressively, the war cries audible from land. Boards touched and arms bashed against each other. Leashes were pulled and locals laid claim to the best waves. If, heaven forbid, a surfer dropped in recklessly on another surfer’s wave, all hell broke loose with fights on and off land, because to encroach on another surfer’s ride at Pipeline could be a matter of life and death. If a wipeout did not kill you, the surfer you had crossed probably would.

Ruby and I observed like the crowd at a firework display.

‘Ooh,’ we gasped when an over-excited surfer took off too deep on a wave and fell lifelessly from the lip.

‘Aah,’ we sighed when he popped up dazed but still conscious.

‘Ouch,’ we cried when one surfer’s board was snapped clean in two.

My attention was only drawn away from the action when I heard a cheer from the Tiger Sharks’ house and Orca, Rosario, Waipahe and Maika’i strode down the beach with boards under their arms.

‘There’s Rory on a wave,’ Ruby chirped.

I forced a smile but my stomach churned when I realised the Tiger Sharks were watching him too.

An hour passed before Rory came close to catching another wave. Wherever he paddled, the bellicose members of the Tiger Sharks tailed him and whenever he turned to go, at least one blocked his path. Cain’s threat rang true. Rory would have struggled to buy a wave at Pipeline that day.

Ruby was oblivious to the conflict unfolding just metres from where she sat, occasionally resting her knitting on her knees and looking out to pinpoint Rory’s location. I never took my eyes off Rory’s curly haired silhouette as the sun moved behind the surfers and made its journey towards the horizon. I prayed for the ocean to send Rory a wave. I prayed for darkness to fall prematurely. I prayed Rory would admit defeat, swallow his pride and paddle in.

The swell continued to increase and the waves began to visibly warp when they hit the Pipeline reef. At six o’clock, the lifeguards packed up their equipment and either went home for the evening or paddled out to catch some of the waves they had been forced to watch all day. When Rory paddled for one of the more monstrous sets of the day, he looked to be in the perfect position. I bit down on my knuckle and watched his arms stroke through the water.

‘He’s going for this one,’ said Ruby but at the last second, Rory’s board jerked backwards when Rosario grabbed his leash and prevented him from catching the wave.

Rory splashed the water in anger, his frustration visible.

‘Why did he do that to Rory?’ Ruby gasped. ‘What’s going on out there?’

‘Macho stuff,’ I croaked.

I glanced back towards the house, wondering whether I should explain to Jason what was going on just outside the safety of our private garden.

‘He’s paddling again,’ Ruby informed me. ‘Oh, he let that girl have it.’

Chivalrous by nature, Rory pulled back on the only wave that he had had a chance of catching for over two hours to allow one of the local girls to surf safely to shore. Petite against the huge wall of water behind her, the Hawaiian surfer girl put me in mind of a Barbie Doll with bendable joints. She looked both graceful and powerful as she rode the wave to its end, hopped down onto her stomach and belly-boarded the white water into the beach. Cursing Rory’s manners under my breath, I returned my attention to the lineup.

Dusk was settling around the surfers and the ocean surface had developed a bruise of purple and orange. The night was still and the beach was almost deserted except for surfers watching the dying minutes of the action at Pipe. The catcalls from the Tiger Sharks’ house pierced the air, the decibel level rising in correlation to the size of the swell. Ruby and I sat forward in our seats and watched open-mouthed when a set pushed through that was bigger and more menacing than anything we had seen at Pipeline so far. As the new powerful ocean swell overtook the old swell, the wave mutated and crashed down onto the reef with a ground-shaking explosion.

Even the Tiger Sharks scrambled anxiously over this first wave to escape and position themselves for the wave behind. Ruby’s stomach rumbled.

‘Come on, Baby, me and bubba are getting hungry.’

‘He’s paddling. Yep I think he’s on this one, Ruby.’

I strained my neck to see as Rory raced Maika’i towards the take-off spot. Rory looked set to be first out of the starting blocks until he suddenly jerked backwards with obvious force and Maika’i took off, slamming his fist back towards Rory as a sign of defiance.

‘They pulled his leash again,’ Ruby cried out.

She placed her knitting down on the decking.

‘They’re playing a dangerous game out there,’ I hissed.

‘That is no game.’

Ruby was up on her feet, her hands supporting the small of her back.

I could wait no longer. Cain had clearly meant every word of his threats.

‘I’m going to get Jason. Keep an eye on Rory.’

‘What’s happening, Bailey? Is Rory in trouble?’

Ruby’s questions carried on the air as I sprinted across the now cool grass to the house.

‘Jason, come quickly. Rory needs you.’

I kicked off my sandals and threw open the screen door.