Sweetness (Bold As Love) (8 page)

Then my senses slammed into me and I pulled away. “You can’t do that. What if my dad walked in? Or Drake?” I stepped out of his embrace and walked out of the room. Those kisses made a little snaky voice in my head remind me that my mother thought I was a slut. He followed me out keeping pace and said, “I’m sorry.” I walked outside and sat on the steps of the porch. Jake sat down beside me and we watched Drake and my dad play with the remote control car.

Jake nudged me with his knee. “I just got carried away. I’m sorry.” Heat rose to my cheeks and I glanced at him.

“
It’s fine. You just caught me off guard.”

“
Eye contact. I like it.”

I smiled and looked away. “Do you ever wonder why things happen?”

“
Like, everything happens for a reason?”

I nodded. “Do you think that?”

He thought for a moment and then answered. “I don’t know why things happen. I don’t know why your mom would say what she did or do what she did. What I do think is that we have to take what happens and learn from it and make ourselves a better person because of it.”

I thought about what he said. It made sense. Without giving it too much thought, I leaned my head on his shoulder. “What if you can’t make that happen?”

“
Emily, you can make it happen. You have to have hope and you have to try. You can’t let it consume you for the rest of your life. You have to trust us. We are going to help you every step of the way.”

I took a deep breath and decided to let the issue rest. My dad looked over at us and gave me a funny look.

“
I should probably get Drake home and fed.” He kissed the top of my head when no one was looking and stood up. “Drake, come on. We need to get home.”

Drake whined a bit, but with the help from my dad, he went inside and got his blue book bag. He gave me a hug and they left. My dad sat down next to me and asked, “What’s going on in that head of yours?”

“
Too much,” I attempted a laugh. My dad wrapped his arm around me and I rested my head on his shoulder.

“
Should I be worried?”

I wasn’t sure if he was talking about what I was thinking or what he saw when he glanced at Jake and me. “Worried about what?” I asked.

“
Anything and everything.”

I bit my lip. “I don’t think so. I hope not.”

“
Well, you know that you can come and talk to me about anything. If you rather write it instead of talking about it, that’s fine too. I just want you to know that I’m here for you.”

“
I know.”

“
Well, let’s go fix something for dinner.”

“
Can we eat out instead? I could go get pizza…I just feel like driving around. It’ll help clear my head.”

“
Take all the time you need. I don’t mind waiting.”

With that, I went inside to find my keys and wallet. Once found, I went driving. I drove and drove. It was like when I was running. If I felt like turning, I did. I knew this county pretty well. There was no need to worry about getting lost.

Nevertheless, I did worry. It was just hard for me to imagine that my mom lied to me. But between Jake, my dad and Drake, she had to be lying, didn’t she? On the other hand, was it everyone else that was lying? My mom, my best friend. How could she say those things to me if they weren’t true? How could she do those things to me if I wasn’t as horrible as she described me?

Or what if she thought what she said was true? Did my mom really think I was that horrible?

Yes. Without a doubt.

I heard her hatred in her voice. I saw disgust in her eyes. How could I just ignore that and accept the love that these people give me? What if they turn against me like my mom? I couldn’t stand for another person to hate me the way my mom did. It hurt so much to lose the one person I loved most. How could I trust Jake? I barely knew him and I am expected to accept what he was saying? I shake my head. I still don’t understand why. What did I do to cause that hatred? How do I keep from making that mistake again?

With that train of thought, I bought pizza from Domino’s and went home.

Jake

Ever since my dad started drinking and I had to take over the responsibilities, I was a good cook if I say so myself. I don’t know what I will do if he ever allows his drinking to consume him so much that it effected his work. On the menu tonight was spaghetti. After almost burning the garlic bread, I put the food on our plates and called Drake down for supper.

Dad being dad stayed in his room. Drake ran down the stairs. As soon as he sat down, he was cramming down food. “Take it easy Drake. You don’t have to eat it all at once.” He slowed down and began to eat like normal.

“
Hey Jake, do you think Emily will take me to your game tomorrow?”

Oh, man. I forgot about that. “I’ll pick you up tomorrow. I don’t have to be at school until five, so I can get you.”

His shoulders slumped. “What? You don’t like hanging out with your big brother anymore?”

“
Are we going to do something fun?”

“
After we finish our homework, sure.”

“
Like what?”

I racked my brain. “We can play that new video game you got.” His smile returned and he seemed happy with that. After we finished dinner, he went upstairs to play in his room. I washed dishes and put the leftovers in the fridge. Dad could fend for himself.

Grabbing my book bag that I left by the door, I went up to my room, fell onto my bed, and started on my own homework. I turned on the TV and watched George Lopez while I did my homework.

Around ten, I finished just when my phone vibrated in my pocket. It was a text from Emily. I left my phone on my bed and walked across the hall to Drake’s room. He was playing his new video game.

“
Alright Drake. Change into your pjs and get to bed.” He didn’t put up a fight and did what I asked. Once he changed and brushed his teeth, I tucked him in.

“
Hey Jake?”

I sat down on the edge of his bed and replied with a, “Yea?”

“
I’ve been thinking and I have a question.”

Oh. What in the world could that be? “What is it?”

“
Why does Emily act different around you and Mr. Mike?”

She acts different around you Drake, not us. I took a deep breath and tried to think of something to tell him. “Maybe it’s because you’re little and she likes you better.”

That brought a slight smile to his face and he said, “Maybe that’s it. I
am
an awesome kid. But I don’t think that’s it.”

I laughed. “Yes, you are an awesome kid. What do you think?”

His face grew serious and he said, “I think someone was really mean to her ‘cause she seems scared.”

Drake had no idea how right he was. “Well, maybe we can make her not scared anymore.” Drake seemed to like that and I kissed his forehead. “Good night buddy,” I told him.

“
Good night.”

I closed the door behind me and went back to my room. I fell onto my bed and decided to text Emily back.

Hey. What’s up?

Trying and failing to study.

Haha, oh! I’ll pick up Drake 2moro.

How come?

I’ve got a game but I don’t have to be @ school till five

Oh…okay.

Will you come?

It took a few minutes before I got a response.

Okay…dad will love that.


Sweet. No midnight runs tonight, right?

Haha, idk…last night wasn’t too bad.

Glad to hear that.

My mom called today…I can’t tell my dad. I don’t want him to worry

What the hell did that woman want from her?
Need to talk about it?

Idk…I need to think. I can’t do that being still. I need to run or walk.

I’ll be at ur house in a few…we can walk back here…don’t want u 2 wlk alone.

You don’t have to.

Don’t be crazy. Can you sneak out?

Yes…let me know when you’re here.

I check on Drake and see he’s sleeping. I go downstairs and peek into my Dad’s room. He’s out too. I’m careful to be quiet as I walk out of the house. I jog to Emily’s and text her. A few minutes later, she comes outside. The air is crisp and cool, but she’s wearing blue shorts and a white tee.

The light from the streetlamp catches her face when she glances up at me. Her eyes are red and puffy from crying. I take her in my arms once she is close enough. “Come on; let’s get back to my house. I don’t want Drake to wake up and me not be there.”

We started walking back to my house and I kept my arm around her. She wasn’t talking, but this time it was scaring me. What did her mom do this time? Nevertheless, it had to count for something since she text me, right? When we arrived at my house, I was about to open the door when Emily finally spoke. “Can’t we stay out here? What if Drake wakes up?”

“
Inside or out, he’ll see you either way. It’s warmer inside too.” She hesitated for a moment then nodded. I walked into the dark house and led her upstairs to my room. “Let me check on Drake, real quick. Just throw stuff to the side if it’s in your way,” I whispered.

She went in and I checked on Drake. He was still sleeping. It didn’t hit me until I came back last night that I shouldn’t have left the house for that long with Drake here, practically by himself. I went into my room and was thankful it was still clean. Emily was sitting on the very edge of my bed wringing her hands.

I closed the door and sat down beside her. It was as if the dam broke. Tears fell like rain and Emily tried her best to talk. “She’s not supposed to call. She…she’s not supposed…to talk to me…at all.”

“
Shh. Just cry it all out and then we’ll talk,” I said wrapping my arm around her and giving her a shoulder. Her crying was just like how she usually talked to me and her dad, quiet. About thirty minutes later, we had moved to the center of my bed. Our backs were resting against the headboard and our legs are stretched out.

She finally stopped crying. “Tell me what happened,” I said softly.

“
She called me and said she was
sorry.
She didn’t mean ‘to be so harsh’ when she was telling me ‘the truth’. Jake, you don’t understand. Mom can be so mean, but at the same time, she can be loving. She wants me to tell my dad I want to go live with her. I don’t know what to do.”

“
What do you mean you don’t know? Emily, you can’t go back. Don’t you see what she has done to you? Going back to her would be like a death sentence for you. Why would you even want to go back?”

Her voice was softer than I ever heard it. “She’s my mom and my best friend. I love her…I miss her.”

I signed. “You can’t honestly miss how she treated you.”

“
That’s what I’m trying to tell you. She was being loving by telling me these things. Therefore, if she was telling the truth, then why can’t I believe her?”

I tilted Emily’s face up so she would look at me. “That’s the thing Emily. She wasn’t telling the truth.”

“
But why would she lie to me?”

“
I don’t know. What did you tell her when she asked you to come back?”

“
I told her no. I can’t leave my dad. He would be devastated. Plus, I would have to change schools again and I don’t want to do that. What if she calls me back?” Her eyes were full of worry.

“
Don’t answer. Give it to your dad and let him talk to her.”

She nodded and rested her head on my shoulder. “Will it ever get better?”

“
Of course it will. You just need to let us help you along the way.” She took a deep breath and watched what was currently showing on my TV, which was The Nanny. After the episode was over, I was going to say something but Emily was fast asleep.

I hated to wake her up. She seemed relax and at peace. I would wait a bit before I woke her up.

I felt a warm body beside me. An arm is wrapped around my waist and legs are entangled with mine. With my free hand, I wiped my eyes and saw Emily. Oh shit. I looked over at the digital alarm clock and saw it was a little after three in the morning.

“
Emily,” I said. She stirred but didn’t wake up. I shook her lightly and called her name again. She bolted upright and looked at me. “You scared me,” she said with a slight grin.

I smiled. “Sorry, I meant to wake you up around twelve, but I fell asleep too. Let me get you home.”

I took her hand and we quietly walked downstairs. Halfway to her house, she spoke and her voice was clear with a hint a confidence. “Thanks Jake. I feel a little bit better now.”

“
Even though you slept most of the time,” I ask looking over at her.

She looked at me and said, “Yes. I slept really well.”

I chuckled and squeezed her hand.

“
You are quite the pillow Jake,” she said with a small laugh.