Sweetened With a Kiss (8 page)

The principal had gotten her out of class and walked her up to the office where Mac was waiting for her. Something was burning. Smoke was filling her nose, sliding down her throat and burning her chest. She heard someone crying.

“Don’t cry, Lizzie,” she said softly, and everything went gray.

When Jen opened her eyes, Stefan was watching her closely, his fingers stroking across her forehead and into her hair. She hadn’t seen that look in a long time. It was his be-careful-she’s-about-to-break look. “Lizzie,” she said, worried. “She was crying.”

“She’s okay, Jen, just relax. You fainted.”

“Fainted? That’s ridiculous. I don’t faint.” Then she realized she was in the downstairs guest room. Damn. “You’re supposed to be at work.”

“Come to the office with me.”

“So you can keep an eye on me?” she asked, and closed her eyes. Had she really fainted? Damn it. She was so tired.

“No, so my silly sister doesn’t do anything else to upset you.”

“Leave Lizzie alone.”

He brushed a stray hair behind her ear. His fingertips felt so good sliding over her skin. All the bitter cold was gone out of his expression. “Do you remember what you were talking about?”

Jen nodded. She was lying. She had no idea what they’d been talking about. She still couldn’t believe she had fainted. But she liked the way he was touching her. Maybe if she stayed still, he wouldn’t stop.

“Tell me what it was,” he said gently. Of course, he knew she was lying because he could read her mind.

She remembered making pancakes. She remembered Stefan eating pancakes. Of course, she could have dreamed that part. What were the odds Stefan had actually eaten pancakes? She vaguely remembered Lizzie crying. She sat up. He was the last person she wanted to know that her memory played tricks on her. 

He took a deep breath. “You were talking about the accident,” he said, and she cringed. “Do you remember now?”

The entire morning snapped back into place. Lizzie was telling her that she had been in the accident, but Jen knew that wasn’t true. She remembered the day Mac came to her school to tell her about the accident. He was so tall. She knew him but had always been afraid of him. She could remember him telling her that everything would be okay. Her parents were in heaven. He was going to take her home with him and she could stay in Lizzie’s room until they got a room fixed for her. He had made her feel safe while her entire world crashed down around her.

“Do you know what happened the night of the accident?”

“Yes,” he said grimly. “Most of it anyway”

She took a deep breath. “I very clearly remember Mac coming to my school to tell me about the accident. But Lizzie says I was in the car.”

He cursed under his breath.

“No, I’m tired of everyone protecting me,” Jen said. The words came out stronger than she expected.

She watched him struggle with something. Protecting her was second nature to him, but then blue eyes leveled with hers. “Do you know what time the accident happened?” he asked.

“Around 8:30,” she answered automatically. Everyone knew that. “Oh,” she whispered, her breath hitching in her throat. The accident had been at night. There was no way she’d been at school. The world tilted on its axis and she closed her eyes. Why had she never put those pieces together? She had always known the accident had happened at night. Why did she remember being at school? Maybe she really was crazy. “I was in the car,” she said, the words skittered over her like bugs. Her skin crawled and the bottom of her stomach dropped out. “I was in the car.”

“Yes,” Stefan said. “The car flipped and caught fire. You hit your head. You were in and out of hospitals for six months.”

She shook her head, sure that he was telling her the truth but unable to call up a single memory of being in a hospital. Six months of her life was just a blank. And some rabbits. Her mind always wandered towards rabbits when she tried to remember the accident. Proof that she was crazy, so she never, ever mentioned that to anyone.

Something cold slithered around her. Brain damage. Was that why her memory played tricks on her? All these years, she’d just believed she was a little loopy. No wonder they all treated her like she would break at any minute. She hadn’t considered that she might actually be broken.

“There’s nothing wrong with you now,” Stefan told her. “There wasn’t any brain damage if that’s what you’re worried about.” Damn, she’d forgotten how he could read her mind.

“I want to know what happened.” And for the first time, she really did want to know. “I can’t remember any of it.”

“No need for you to remember it,” Stefan told her, wishing he didn’t remember it. The image of her so small in that hospital bed covered in bandages, with Lizzie curled up next to her, was seared into his brain. The doctors had finally relented and let Lizzie stay with her because Lizzie would start screaming anytime they tried to make her leave. And Jen rested better with Lizzie in the room. They spent weeks in the hospital with her. To this day he hated
Alice in Wonderland
because Lizzie had made him read it to her while she lay next to Jen, trying to pull Jen out of the rabbit hole. When Jen finally did wake up, it still took days for her to recognize anyone. And then she still didn’t speak for almost a year.

That day was seared into his brain too. They were at the beach house and he’d gotten up really early for his run. On the way back, he’d spotted her sitting on one of the dunes, watching the waves. She’d been twelve by then but still so small. Her scars had almost healed and her hair had grown out and had just started to brush past her ears. The doctors had said no more surgeries unless something unexpected happened and everyone was looking forward to things finally getting back to some sort of normal.

He’d stopped a few feet from her, watching her closely but she just seemed to be enjoying the early morning sunshine and the breeze. Her toes were digging into the sand and that half smile that played at the corners of her mouth lately meant she was fine. He relaxed and dropped down in the sand next to her. “Hey, kiddo, you’re up early.”

Then she’d turned to him, and sighed. “I had a bad dream,” she told him, as if it hadn’t been almost a year since anyone had heard her voice.

He’d caught his breath but tried to act normal. “Zombies?” he’d asked, because she and Lizzie were terrified of zombies.

She shook her head. “Rabbits,” she’d said. “White rabbits chasing me.”

“Did they have big, sharp, pointy teeth?” he asked, standing up and pulling her to her feet.

“No, silly, pocket watches.” Then she’d looked up at him and said, “Race you!”

And she’d taken off towards the beach house. It was the only race he’d ever been happy to lose.

Stefan shook his head, envying her the memory loss.  He was glad that she didn’t remember. “You were eleven. I don’t remember everything from when I was eleven. You were sedated for most of it so I’d be surprised if you could remember any of it.”

“I think I remember the smoke. I dream about smoke. Sometimes I’m wearing it like a dress. It’s weird.”

“As long as it’s not a wedding dress,” he said.

She laughed, at that, and Stefan watched the tension drain out of her shoulders. Her color was back in her cheeks and her eyes were much clearer now.

“No, I think maybe a prom dress.” She lied, trying to pick up his attempt to lighten the mood.

He surprised her with an exaggerated groan and threw his head back. “No, your prom dress was definitely pink.”

“I do remember my Junior Prom,” she informed him. “Especially how rude you were.”

“Rude?” He sounded offended. “How was I rude?”

“You looked at me like I smelled funny.” She shivered. It had been one of the worst moments of her life. She would never forget that look on his face. It had been all she could do not to run back upstairs and cry.

He was just shaking his head. “That dress looked like cotton candy. I wanted to lick it off of you.”

“You looked like you wanted to choke me,” she shot back.

“I did. You should have asked me to the prom. I wanted to strangle that boy.”

“Really?” she interrupted him. “I should have asked you to the prom? You would have laughed in my…wait, licked it off?” Her breath caught.

He nodded, his eyes bleak. “I still dream about that dress. Bad dreams. You have no idea how that dress has tortured me, all that pink floating around you and it shimmered...”

“I was sixteen!” She was shocked. He’d been home that weekend but had been anything but nice to her. She and Lizzie had walked downstairs so excited about their Junior Prom. Stefan had walked out of the living room and stopped dead. The murderous look on his face was branded onto her brain. He’d never been anything but easygoing and fun until that point and she just hadn’t been able to cope with the brunt of his anger.

“You were jail bait,” he agreed, jerking her back to the present again. “But you aren’t anymore.” His smile turned sly.

Her eyes narrowed as she remembered all that dark intensity on his face and the tension rolling off him that night. He hadn’t been thinking about murder at all. Something dark and sweet bloomed deep inside her now. She slanted her eyes up at him, lightly licking her bottom lip. “You know, I still have that dress.”

His eyes closed and Jen would have sworn that he shivered. “Don’t tell me that. I really have to go to the office,” he grumbled.

“You’re serious, aren’t you?” she said. The rest of the conversation was forgotten now. “You wanted me when I was sixteen?” Something curled up her spine and around to pool low in her chest. It was warm and sweet and felt almost like hope.

“In the worst way imaginable,” he admitted. “Not much gets past Mac. He pulled me into his study that night and told me in no uncertain terms that you were off limits.”

Hot color streaked her face. She’d had no idea. Mac knowing was too embarrassing to contemplate. “He didn’t.”

“Yes, he did. He handed over your trust fund to me that night and told me to see how fast I could double the principal. And when you turned eighteen, he might let me take you out. Why do you think I wasn’t around much after that night?”

“You were in training.”

“I needed somewhere to focus my energy.”

“This isn’t funny,” she said. “You focused your energy on plenty of girls before we got engaged. Very tall, very pretty girls.” Until Rogan had married Angie, Stefan and Rogan had gone through girls like crazy. Jen had lost count of the  movies, football games, and dinners she’d sat through with some chick on Stefan’s arm darting nasty looks at her every chance she got. Now Stefan was telling her that he’d wanted her when she was sixteen. Well, he must not have wanted her too badly because it certainly hadn’t curtailed his social life.

“Never said I was a monk,” he teased.

“Just stop, Stefan.”

“What? You don’t believe me? Then how do you explain that absolutely no one was surprised when I gave you that ring?”

“I was.”

“Well, you were the only one.”

They’d had a twenty-first birthday party for her. Jared’s band, Sugar Coma, had played. Elliot Carter had catered it. There were floating candles in the pool. Stefan had walked her out on the pier behind his parents’ house, pulled the incredible ring out of his pocket, and slid it on her finger before she realized what it was.