Sweet Texas Kiss (Sweet Texas Secrets) (8 page)

“Of course not. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it.”

She put her knife down and relaxed her shoulders. “It’s fine. You were right. I felt guilty, and a few years of self-destructive behavior made me feel like I was getting what I deserved. The night Dave—that was my boyfriend—had to track me down to tell me my mom had passed away was the night I realized I’d hit rock bottom. She had congestive heart failure and hadn’t been doing well. For a while, I was able to take care of her. I’d visit her, clean up around her house, fill her prescriptions, things like that. I think the days I spent with her were the only times I didn’t sit around feeling sorry for myself. Then a program about Young and Wilde aired, and it was like Tori had died all over again. I holed up in my house, refusing to answer the phone, not making any contact with the outside world, and she passed away during that time. Dave was already beyond pissed off with me because I’d done it before, the whole hermit routine, but I missed taking her to a doctor’s appointment. He was a real trouper, rescheduled her appointment and took her since I was useless. He was the one who found her.” She took a deep breath, keeping her eyes trained on her plate. “He’s a good guy, really. Better than I deserved. But that night, he had to pull the blankets off me and practically drag me out of my bed since I wouldn’t get up. After everything he’d been through that day, he had to deal with me acting like a child, and it was finally too much for him.

“After that, I knew I had to pull my shit together or I’d end up homeless or lying in a ditch somewhere. I couldn’t blame him for leaving me, but without my mom, he really was the last person I had left. They were the only two who’d stuck around, and whether I sank or swim at that point was entirely up to me. It was a miserable time, but at least I picked myself up and got back to work.”

“But not as a singer.”

“Nope. I’d pushed Dave away along with everyone else, but he stuck by me as a friend. God only knows why he did it, but I hate to think where I’d be without him. He’d just been hired as the first judge on the show, and he convinced the producers to take a look at me.” She shrugged. “I thought it was kind of cheesy to be on a talent competition show at first, but it kind of saved my life.”

If Macy had been able to go on with her life as though nothing had happened, he would’ve been surprised. In a way, he was glad she felt bad. It meant that she recognized everything that they’d lost, and she hadn’t taken it lightly. Still, her bravado was absent, and he wasn’t interested in making her cry at dinner.

• • •

Wishing she hadn’t revealed so much to Gavin, and wishing even more that their dinner would end, she shoved a big bite of steak into her mouth and chewed, though swallowing past her sadness wasn’t easy. Gavin opened his mouth and then closed it without speaking, like he wanted to ask more, to talk about Tori.

After the accident, Macy had been forced to come up with ways to talk about her friend and partner without breaking down in interviews. When changing the subject didn’t work, she’d deliver one of her pat answers about Tori living on through their music, or how Tori would’ve thought whatever contestant on the show Macy loved was great. Luckily, most people would take the hint and move past talk of the past. Every once in a while, an interviewer would push for more, and Macy had to either get up and walk out or bite the bullet and answer. It had been as painful as she’d expected, but none of the people asking about Tori had really known her, and Macy hated that they used her tragedy for their ratings.

Nobody who knew and loved Tori could help Macy through her guilt and grief. Tori’s parents and younger sister were devastated when she died, and they had a hard enough time keeping their family together. They certainly weren’t available to comfort Macy, especially since they’d known how rough things were between them before she died. Young and Wilde’s manager was wrapped up in the business of canceling concerts and fielding as much of the press as she could take off of Macy’s plate. And after being away from Sweet Ridge for so long, Macy didn’t have any friends she’d kept up with enough to turn to for comfort.

Being surrounded by people but essentially alone to grieve meant that Macy had to depend on herself. And she’d done a terrible job, sending her life and career straight into the gutter.

She swallowed her bite and took a sip of water. She had to change the subject before Gavin asked anything else about Tori. “So, this steak is delicious.”

Lame, she knew, but maybe he would get the hint and move on.

“It’s all in the seasoning. My mother’s famous spice blend. I use all her recipes.”

“She must have been a wonderful cook.” Great, they were getting into a conversation about yet another beloved dead woman, but thankfully, Gavin didn’t seem uncomfortable. Mrs. Cooper had died long before she knew any of them, and her sons had always spoken about her in a matter-of-fact way. “Is that how you learned?”

“A little. She died when we were so young that she didn’t exactly have time to teach me. She always hid out in the kitchen to get away from my dad when they argued, which was a lot, and I’d come in here to keep her company. I could tell when she was really mad because she’d be in here pounding out bread dough and cursing under her breath.” He closed his eyes briefly and shook his head, a small smile playing on his lips. “Come to think of it, we spent a lot of time in here without Dad. I remember sitting on the kitchen counter while she rolled out cookie dough and licking spoons when she mixed up batter. She was a great baker, and she loved to make desserts for people. She used to make half a dozen pies for Thanksgiving, and she’d always let me pinch the piecrusts and brush the egg wash over the tops. Being in this kitchen with her was one of my favorite things, and it’s what I miss about her the most. We have all her recipes, though, so she’s always with us.”

“So your dad must have had to teach you then. I’ll bet that was hard for him.”

“My dad never learned how to cook anything,” Gavin said with a laugh. “He was a disaster in the kitchen when it came to anything but guacamole. After our mom died, he had to raise the three of us himself and run his company, so he didn’t have time to turn on the stove, much less teach us anything. Our nanny taught me and Grayson. Gage was never much interested in being in the kitchen.”

She’d guess that he’d told the story before, and that plenty of women felt more tender toward the poor motherless Cooper boys after hearing it. She’d been raised by a single parent, too, though, and there was no money, and no nanny, to help her mother with the task.

“Your nanny taught you.” It was impossible to keep the edge out of her voice. She hated that his mother had passed away, of course, but she wasn’t going to feel sorry for the rich kid whose hired help had to teach him how to do household chores.

“Yeah. My dad did the best he could, but raising kids on his own was a lot of work.” He swallowed hard, probably realizing what he’d said as soon as the words were out of his mouth. “Oh, sorry. I know your mom was on her own, too. I’m sure that was hard.”

He trailed off. To say that her mother had it hard was a joke. Her mother cut corners to keep the lights on and food on the table. Without anything like the extraordinary resources the Cooper family drew from, Macy’s mother made tough choices every day, choices Gavin couldn’t imagine: working an extra shift or being home to help Macy with her homework. Buying fresh produce or paying her water bill. Life was hard, and nothing came without a price. How she managed to somehow keep everything afloat while making sure that her daughter knew how loved she was mystified Macy, and made her feel more than a little guilty when she allowed herself to wallow in grief.

There were many times when, after not leaving the house or speaking to another soul for a week, Macy realized how self-indulgent she’d become, how disappointed her hardworking and practical mother must be. Her mother never had the luxury of lying in bed for a week because she was too depressed to move, but she never judged Macy for failing to pick herself up and get on with her life. Mom just kept showing up, trying to feed Macy warm casseroles and washing her bedsheets no matter how much she protested, until her health problems railroaded her. Taking care of her mother had given Macy a temporary reprieve from the disaster she’d made of her own life, but in the end, even a mother’s love wasn’t enough to avoid self-pity.

“Yes, she had it pretty hard.” Her voice carried a harsh edge, but she didn’t care. “When I think I can’t go on, I remind myself of everything she had to do to survive.”

“I guess everybody has to find ways to carry on after they lose someone. I’d just taken over the clinic when Tori died, and a lot of the time it felt like too much. I had to rely on my dad and brothers a lot more than I wanted to.”

“Yeah, well, five years ago I was about to turn thirty and I had everything I’d ever wanted. My career was going great, and the world was at my feet. Then instead of putting out a new album and launching a world tour, I buried my best friend. Everything died that day, and you don’t have exclusive rights to grief. You’re not the only one who got hurt. At least you had your perfect family and everyone in this perfect town to turn to. I didn’t have anybody. And I still don’t.” Shaking as she balled her napkin into a tight ball, Macy stopped herself. “You know what? I think I’m going to go to my room. Thank you for dinner.”

Macy stood and pushed her chair in, almost walking out of the kitchen without clearing her plate from the table. She’d noticed Gavin’s irritated glances at her things lying around the house, and she didn’t care if it bothered him or not. It was her house, after all. Leaving a dirty dish on the table just to prove a point wouldn’t help anything, though, so she rinsed it off in the sink and tucked it into the dishwasher.

But he didn’t look up, and, vaguely disappointed that he’d ignored her attempt to feel superior tonight, she headed upstairs to hide out behind the closed door of her bedroom.

Gavin went in to work the next morning, glad for the chance to get away from Macy for the next eight hours or so. His carefully constructed righteous anger was dangerously close to being toppled. Somehow she managed to throw him off balance without even trying, and it was refreshing to be in his office, where he’d be in charge for a while. He paused at the reception desk, giving Merle the chance to sniff around to see which other dogs had been in the lobby recently.

“Good morning, Susan.” He leaned down, unleashed his black Lab, and patted his head. The dog bounded behind the desk to get his morning treat and pets from the office manager, who obliged him and sent him on his way with a kiss on his furry forehead.

Staying in the house last night with Macy had been tense but worth it. He’d seriously considered packing his bags and bunking with Grayson, but that would be admitting defeat entirely too early in the game. He’d never figure out how to get the house if he didn’t spend some time with her. He’d expected them to feel like strangers, and there were definitely some tense moments and missteps, but there was potential there, too. Potential for a relationship friendly enough to negotiate the sale of the house, if nothing else. If only he could figure out where she was coming from, and stop opening himself up to those old feelings.

“Good morning, Dr. Cooper.” Susan raised her coffee cup in greeting and pulled up the clinic’s schedule for the day on her computer. “Dr. Carson will be in late this morning. She’s going to the Aronson farm first thing. You’ll be on your own for a while, but we have a pretty light schedule for a Monday. Surprisingly, we’ve only had a couple of calls this morning.” His partner, Tess Carson, was the resident equine expert and was frequently absent from the clinic while seeing her large patients at their homes. Mondays were usually packed with appointments for pets who’d had trouble over the weekend, but not enough to visit the emergency vet in the next city.

Gavin poured his own cup of coffee and whistled for Merle before heading back to his small office. Glad to have a schedule full of routine well visits to fill his morning, he scratched Merle behind the ear while he checked his e-mail. He’d almost let himself believe that the weekend was a bad dream, from losing his inheritance to actually spending the night under the same roof with Macy. The in-box full of messages pertaining to aspects of his father’s estate said otherwise. It was all real, and it was all up to him. The amount of things to be wrapped up after someone’s death was astounding, and they’d been prepared for months for the end. He could only imagine how they’d have coped if his father’s death had been sudden.

After Macy retreated to her bedroom for the night, he’d sat up on the sofa with Merle. He’d studied the pictures, the glasses, and his father’s cryptic note until the words didn’t make sense. None of it made any sense. Why would he give the things his sons so desperately wanted to strangers? His father knew Macy from when they were kids, but her connection to the inheritance made no sense. Grayson knew Rebecca Nash, and, of course, their dad had known her, but he, too, had been racking his brain night and day to figure out why she would be given his half of Guac Olé. Perhaps strangest of all was giving the land to Charlotte Wilkinson. She didn’t have ties to Sweet Ridge, and from what Gage said, she was horrible.

“Dr. Cooper? Your first patient is in exam room two.” Susan disappeared, and Merle followed close on her heels. He wasn’t allowed to join in on other dogs’ appointments, and he preferred lazing in the sunny lobby to being cooped up in Gavin’s office.

His first appointment of the day was a yearly exam with one of his favorite families’ lively Pomeranian. The couple treated the little dog like she was their cherished child, always bringing her in at the first sign of trouble, feeding her only the best foods, and keeping her groomed like a princess. Her yearly checkups were mere formalities. He’d finished penning the dog’s heartworm and flea prevention prescriptions and was scratching her behind the ear when Kaley, his newest vet tech, pushed through the door.

“Dr. Cooper? We need you, now! There’s an emergency!”