Sweet Surrender (18 page)

His hands stilled on her shoulders, and his fingers dug into her skin. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her neck. “Where did you go? What did you do?”

Tears pricked her eyelids. “Back to our old life. Moving every few months when we got evicted. Going back to school wasn’t an option. I was too busy trying to feed us and keep a roof over our heads.”

Gray cursed.

“A year or so later, she started taking drugs. I wasn’t surprised. I had to hide money from her, or she would have used everything we had on drugs. I hated her. I wanted to leave her.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“I was young. Scared. I had no place to go. No one I could count on. And at the heart of everything, she was still my mother. I couldn’t leave her because I knew she wouldn’t survive without me.”

Gray wrapped his arms around her and pulled until she was tight against his chest. He reclined until they were both leaning back staring up at the night sky.

She closed her eyes and savored the strength in his embrace. The comfort and acceptance. The understanding.

“So what happened?” he asked.

She knew he meant how she ended up here, with Pop, away from her mother. Her lips trembled at the memory of that night.

“When I was twenty, I was working two jobs, so I wasn’t around much to babysit her. I bought food, paid the bills and never gave her money. I thought by doing so, she wouldn’t have a way to pay for drugs. I underestimated how far she’d go to get what she wanted.

“When I got home from my second job, I found her passed out in the living room of our tiny apartment. She wasn’t breathing. I called 911 and did as much CPR as I remembered. When the ambulance got there, they were able to resuscitate her and take her to a hospital.

“I can remember sitting in the waiting room at the hospital feeling guilty because I wasn’t sure if I wanted her to survive or not.” She shuddered, trying to wipe away the guilt she still felt. “How horrible is that? Wishing my own mother dead.”

Gray’s arms tightened around her. “Not horrible. It’s human.”

“They found Pop’s phone number in her purse and called him. When he and Connor showed up, I bawled my eyes out on Pop’s shoulder. Connor took me to a hotel and stayed with me while Pop got Mom sorted out. He set her up in rehab and what else I’m not even sure. At the time I didn’t care. I was too relieved not to have had to deal with it myself. He and Connor took me back to Houston with them, told me I was part of their family. Pop gave me a stiff lecture about not enabling my mother and told me to wash my hands of her.”

She shifted against Gray, turning slightly so that her cheek rested on his shoulder. He looked down at her, his eyes soft with sympathy.

“Do you have any idea how relieving it was to have someone say it was okay to take myself out of my relationship with my mother? It sounds silly, but I needed someone to tell me it was okay, that I wasn’t a bad person.”

Gray nodded and touched a finger to her chin. “Most people wouldn’t have done all you did for her.”

“When Pop told me he wanted to adopt me…I can remember staring at him, so stunned. Then I burst into tears and cried a river. He thought he’d upset me, but it was the most wonderful thing anyone had ever done for me. For the first time, I felt like I truly belonged. He and Connor were my family. Here I was, twenty years old, and I felt like a child all over again.”

Gray kissed her forehead and touched his fingers to her cheek, running invisible lines from her cheekbone to her ear.

“So you’ve been with Pop ever since.”

She nodded slightly, not wanting to knock his hand from her face. “He moved me into one of his apartments, gave me a job at Malone and Sons, and gave me a stern lecture about ever allowing my mother back into my life.”

“But she’s calling you,” he said quietly.

She tensed, but he continued stroking her cheek, and she gradually relaxed. “Yes. She’s calling again. Same routine. She wants money. In her defense, I’ve always come through for her, even after Pop told me never to give her anything. He once said that if you give a dog a handout, they’ll never leave you alone. He was right. Only this time I refused to help her.”

She lowered her voice and looked away. He touched the cheek she now presented as she looked out toward the ocean. “She’s in trouble, and all I want is for her to go away. I’ve tried ignoring it. I haven’t told Pop about the phone calls, and if he knew, he’d be hurt and angry that I hadn’t told him. But I didn’t want to keep burdening him with my problems. He’s done enough for me. I knew it was time for me to draw my line in the sand. Only this time I think she really does need help.”

“You can’t fix her life,” Gray said gently. “Pop is right. If you keep bailing her out of trouble, she’ll never go away. And the thing is, she may never get her act together. Then where does that put you? Always in a position of being her crutch.”

She nodded. “I know. I keep telling myself that, but then I go back to the fact that she’s my mother. If you have no one else in the world, you’re supposed to at least have your mother, right?”

“You don’t have no one,” he pointed out. “You have Pop, Connor, Nathan, Micah…you have
me
.”

A warm glow lit and bloomed within her. It swelled in her chest, expanding outward until it encompassed her soul. He was right. She wasn’t alone.

She gazed at him, a sheen of tears blurring the lines of his face. She turned her body until she curled sideways in his lap then raised her hand to his face. “I should have told Pop about the calls. I realize that now. But some part of me is still afraid to rock the boat and cause any problems. I don’t want Pop to ever regret taking me in. He’s given so much to me.”

“Have you ever stopped to consider how much you’ve given him?” Gray asked.

She stared at him, perplexed. “No, I—”

“He adores you, Faith. Hell, they all do. Connor, Micah and Nathan. Don’t ever think you haven’t contributed to that relationship. You’re not some charity case. You’re as important to them as they are to you.”

“Know so much, do you?” she asked with a slight smile.

“It’s obvious. In the time I’ve been here, it’s been easy to see how much you mean to them. They’re all very protective of you.”

His words warmed her heart. “Thank you for saying that. I needed to hear it. I’ve been so stressed out over the phone calls and worrying over whether I made the right decision.”

He shushed her with his finger. “No more worrying. This week is for us. Besides, who knows? Maybe by the time we get back things will be resolved.”

His cryptic statement was meant to be reassuring, she was positive, and she allowed herself to grab hold of the confidence she heard in his voice.

“You make me forget my worries,” she confessed.

“Good. I want our time together to be without stress. I want to take away your unhappiness. I want you to shine. For me.”

She curled her hands around his shoulders and pressed her face into the curve of his neck. His pulse thudded against her forehead.

“Are you ready for me to take you inside?” he murmured.

Oh, but she loved the way he said that. She nodded.

He eased her off his lap and maneuvered his way out of the lounger. Then he bent and hoisted her into his arms. He carried her inside and walked to the bedroom. Once inside, he lowered her to the king-size bed. “I’m going to go take a shower,” he said. “I want you naked and in bed when I get back.”

Her stomach did a complete somersault as she saw the raw desire in his eyes. He stared at her for another long moment before he turned around and walked into the bathroom.

Gray turned the shower on and immediately unbuttoned his jeans. He was going to suffer a permanent cramp in his dick because he’d had a hard-on the entire evening, and his jeans had cut so tight across it that he’d existed in a state of pain.

As he pulled his jeans down, his erection sprang free, and he felt immediate relief. How on earth he was going to survive the night was beyond him. He sure as hell wasn’t going to bed with a hard-on the size of Texas.

When he stepped into the shower, he grasped his stiff cock in his hand and worked it up and down in an attempt to alleviate the ache. Warm water sluiced down his body as he worked the foreskin back and forth over the swollen head.

He closed his eyes and turned his face into the spray as he felt his balls gather and tighten. His orgasm rose in his groin. His grip tightened around his thick shaft, and he gave two more jerks.

A jet of semen erupted from the tip and was quickly washed away by the spray of water. He ducked his head and sucked in mouthfuls of air as his pulse pounded at his temple.

He continued to stroke his softening cock until finally the waves of pleasure subsided. He quickly soaped his body and rinsed off. Then he stepped out of the shower and reached for a towel. After he’d dried off, he pulled on a clean pair of boxers and walked back into the bedroom.

When he saw Faith lying on the bed, her hair spilled out over the pillow, just like in his fantasies, her naked body illuminated by the glow of the bedside lap, his cock stiffened all over again. He cursed under his breath. So much for his plan to give himself relief from the relentless ache she stirred within him.

He walked over to the bed and climbed in beside her. She looked at him, her beautiful eyes aglow with desire, but more than that, her gaze conveyed trust. He reached for her, pulling her into his arms. Then he reached down for the covers and tugged them over their bodies.

He knew she expected him to make love to her tonight, but he also knew how important it was not to rush into things. Tomorrow would be soon enough to begin their sexual relationship. Tonight was all about finding their comfort level and developing trust between them.

He felt like a goddamn hypocrite for placing so much importance on trust when he was deceiving her at every turn. But in this, their relationship, he would be nothing but honest. He had to hope that in the end it was enough.

He tucked her head beneath his chin and held her close, enjoying the feel of flesh on flesh. “Go to sleep,” he said softly. “We have all the time in the world.”

Her body trembled against his, and then he felt the tension leave her as her body melted into his. He kissed the top of her head then reached behind him to turn off the lamp.

G
ray opened his eyes to silky, blond hair tickling his nose. He blinked and pulled his head slightly away. Faith was securely snuggled into his chest, her head still tucked beneath his chin. Her hair was bunched up on the pillow next to his cheek, and he could smell the faint scent of the shampoo he’d used to wash her hair.

The room was still dark, and he raised his wrist to look at his watch. Not obscenely early. It should be getting light soon.

Careful not to wake her, he extricated himself from around her and eased out of bed. He needed to make a phone call, and this seemed a prime opportunity.

He picked up his jeans off the floor at the foot of the bed and dug in his pocket for his cell phone. Then he walked out of the bedroom. He opened his phone and punched in Mick’s number as he opened the French doors and stepped into the early morning air.

“Where the hell are you?” Mick demanded.

“Good morning to you too,” Gray said, irritated already by Mick’s tone.

“Good morning, my ass. You should be here, helping to catch Alex’s killer, not off fucking around with the girl.”

“Mick, don’t start,” Gray warned. “I called to see what the hell was going on. You may not like how we decided to do things, but that’s too damned bad. You’re reacting emotionally, and if you had your damn head on straight, you’d know I’m right.”

“We. Since when did this become we. I can’t figure out why you brought in Malone and his crew. His only concern will be for his daughter. He won’t give a fuck that Samuels killed my son.”

“Just like your only concern is for your own interest,” Gray said quietly. “Faith is an innocent victim, Mick. I won’t allow her to be used any more than she already has. If that pisses you off, too fucking bad.”

“I never imagined you’d sell out,” Mick said harshly. “I never thought you’d turn your back on Alex this way.”

“Damn it, Mick. Quit trying to yank my string. You’ve been doing this shit from the start, and I let you. I’m done allowing you to play the guilt card. If Samuels makes a move for Faith, Pop and the others will nail him. That should be all that concerns you. By the book. No legal loopholes for him to fall through.”

A long pause ensued, and the only sound was Mick’s harsh breathing. Finally Mick broke the silence. “If you won’t help me bring Alex’s killer down, I’ll do it myself. I’m not going to stand by and watch him get away. Not when we’re so damn close.”

“Mick, quit talking out your ass and calm down,” Gray said in exasperation. “Mick. Mick?”

Damn it, he’d hung up. Gray closed the phone and swore long and hard. Mick was losing it. He was too eaten up by grief and rage to think rationally. He needed to get his ass back to Dallas, but Gray knew there was no chance of that happening.

He opened his phone back up and punched in Micah’s number. He shook his head and tried to blow off his anger as he waited for Micah to pick up. For all Mick’s faults, Gray knew he was a good guy.

“Hey, man,” Gray said when Micah answered.

“Hey,” Micah returned.

“What’s the latest? Any word on Samuels?”

“No, nothing yet. Cops have got a double to stand in for Faith. She’s staying at Faith’s apartment and will be going in to the office like Faith does.”

Gray sighed. It was probably too soon, but the letter told him that Samuels was close. Even if he wasn’t yet in Houston, he soon would be.

More than ever, he was glad Faith was removed from the picture where he could keep her safe. He didn’t have a good feeling about any of it. Mick, Samuels or the mother. Faith stood to get hurt, if not physically, than certainly emotionally.

Again, he was hit square in the face with the reasoning behind Pop wanting to keep this from her. Though he’d vehemently disagreed, he wasn’t so sure now that Pop hadn’t been right.

“Look, buddy, I have to run. Things are a bit nutty around here. Nathan, Connor and I are keeping an eye out at the apartments. We have a few plants keeping watch, but we didn’t want to spook Samuels off and let him know we’re on to him. Faith’s double is due to leave her apartment in a few minutes, and it’s my turn to follow her to the office.”

“Okay, man, keep me posted, okay?”

“Will do. You just keep Faith safe and happy.”

Gray chuckled. “I’ll do my best.”

He slipped back inside and went in search of a piece of paper and a pen. After jotting a note for Faith, he eased back into the bedroom. He stared down at her sleeping face for a long moment, studying her features and how beautiful and peaceful she appeared.

Unable to resist, he leaned down and trailed a finger down her cheek. She stirred and leaned into his touch but didn’t awaken. He reluctantly drew away from her then left the note on the pillow next to her head.

When Faith awoke, Gray was no longer beside her. Bright sunlight blazed through the window, and she squinted against the glare.

When her gaze dropped to Gray’s pillow, she saw a single sheet of paper propped against it. She picked it up and saw Gray’s almost indecipherable scrawl.

She let the paper drift back down to the bed, and she felt the beginnings of a full-bodied blush coming on. Naked. If she was honest, she had no idea what to expect. He’d managed to keep her off balance so far. Instead of having sex, he’d spent the entire previous evening showering her with attention. She’d never felt so pampered and cared for in her life.

“Don’t be a chickenshit,” she muttered as she climbed out of bed.

She walked into the bathroom and quickly ran a brush through her hair. It didn’t need much. Gray had brushed it until it had shone. Now it fell down her back in soft waves.

She gazed at herself in the mirror. The woman who stared back fascinated her. There was a softness about her. A happy, radiant glow that was reflected in her eyes and smile.

She took a deep breath and left the bathroom. As she got closer to the kitchen, her pulse sped up, and a nervous tickle started rolling in her stomach.

He was standing by the bar, holding a skillet in one hand as he spooned eggs onto plates. When he looked up and made eye contact, her first instinct was to cover herself.

She halted several feet away and swallowed against the knot in her throat. He set the skillet down and wiped his hands on a dishrag. Then he stepped around the bar, his gaze roving up and down her naked body.

As the distance closed between them, her arms crept up to cover her breasts.

“Good morning,” he murmured as he bent to kiss her.

His hands circled her wrists, and he pulled them down to her sides.

“Don’t hide. You’re much too beautiful for that. I want to look at you.”

Satisfaction was mirrored in his face as she blushed. Why he liked that about her, she’d never know. It seemed a little silly for a grown woman to blush as much as she did.

“Come, sit down, and we’ll eat,” he said as he tugged her toward the bar.

She followed him, her confusion building. She sat down, and he shoved a plate in front of her. Bacon, eggs and toast. And a tall glass of orange juice.

He sat down across from her and stared up at her with his gorgeous blue eyes. He was dressed, which put him at a distinct advantage in her mind. T-shirt and jeans, though he was barefooted, and for some reason, she found that sexy.

It was hard to concentrate on eating when she had no idea what to expect or what would happen next. He’d hardly fallen into the role of the dominant male. Quite the opposite, actually. He’d been clear that he expected things to go his way. What she hadn’t expected, however, was that his way had been to lavish attention on her. She’d worked herself up into quite a knotted mess when Gray looked over at her. He put his fork down.

“Faith, just ask. I can see a million questions running through your head.”

She smiled ruefully and set her fork down as well. “I guess I don’t know what to expect. I mean, I’m a little confused. It’s driving me crazy.”

He raised a brow and stared intently at her. “Did you expect to be kneeling? Have to ask permission to speak? Did you expect me to beat you before fucking your brains out?”

She winced at the crudity of his description, but she also knew he was partly right. A little embarrassed, she lowered her head and nodded.

She heard him sigh. When she looked back up, he was shaking his head.

“Faith, I’m not an asshole. I’m not going to treat you like a piece of garbage. Ever. You don’t ever need permission to speak, for God’s sake. Kneeling is just dumb. There are lots of ways to show your submission and your respect and for me to return it as well. None of those include humiliation or ill treatment.”

A warm prickle spread over her cheeks as his eyes bored into her. He spoke earnestly, and it was clear he meant every single word.

“No doubt, there will be times when I push you,” he continued. “We both have fantasies. I like kink as much as the next guy, and I’ll expect you to do as I tell you, but this isn’t a game. I can’t stress that enough.

“I’m not your parent. Have no desire to be placed in that role. We’re both adults, and the petulant master/slave game bores me to tears. The little fake disobedient act so the master will punish the naughty little slave—it’s ridiculous. If and when I spank you, it’ll be because I like seeing my mark on your ass and because you’ll enjoy it. Not because you disobeyed me. You’re an adult with a mind of your own.”

Her stomach tightened, her pussy clenched and her nipples formed achingly hard points. She had to open her mouth and force herself to breathe.

“Any more questions?” he asked calmly.

She shook her head and tried to stop her legs from trembling.

The corners of his mouth turned up into a smile of pure male appreciation. A predatory gleam shone in his eyes as his gazed raked over her body.

“Good. Now, yesterday was all about you. Today? All about me.”