Sweet Sunshine (5 page)

A man who wasn’t worth it.

Never again.

Derrick

I’D SCREWED UP.

No, that was putting it way too mildly.

I was the fuckup to beat all fuckups. I’d stuck my foot so far in my mouth I was at risk of choking on it any second. I needed to fix things with Chloe. And not for the sake of our friendship, because if I was being honest, we weren’t really all that close to begin with, not that I didn’t
want
to be. I enjoyed her company. I laughed easier when I was around her, and I don’t mean
at
her due to her nearly crippling awkwardness. No, I just enjoyed being around her. She was good friends with Noah and Harlow, which you’d think would have made it easier for the two of us to develop a closer friendship, but it just hadn’t worked that way.

And I wanted to rectify that. I wanted to apologize for causing the pain I saw welling up in her bright green eyes the last time she looked at me. As she stood behind that counter, the struggle to hold back her tears had been so evident. The small smattering of freckles across her nose glowed as it began to grow red, and her bottom lip trembled slightly. I wanted to try and take all of that away, and hopefully repair any damage I had caused because I really did want to be her friend. The problem is, I had no clue what I was going to say to make things better.

“You know, I’m glad you decided to tag along today,” Noah spoke from beside me. “Ethan’s probably gonna bail the moment he spots some of his friends, and I can only hold Harlow’s purse for so long before my balls begin to creep back up into my stomach.”

“Amen, brother,” a man standing in line next to us muttered under his breath and I looked over to see him holding a bright pink purse in his hand with the words
Kate Spade
printed on the front of it. He and Noah fist-bumped as we moved closer to the ticket counter, the cool breeze off the water was a peaceful reprieve from the uncharacteristically hot summer we’d been having.

“Hurry up, Daddy!” Eliza shouted from over near the benches where Harlow had chosen to sit and rest her feet, her rapidly growing belly making it nearly impossible to stand in the cramped line for tickets into Pembrooke’s annual Summer Carnival on the Boardwalk.

There were two times a year when the normally tranquil boardwalk on Pembrooke Lake was packed with what felt like every town citizen. That was during the three months of summer when the carnival rolled in, and the couple of weeks during winter for the annual Holiday on the Boardwalk. Basically the entire place looked like the North Pole had thrown up on it, complete with a massive, heavily-decorated Christmas tree and stores filled with every holiday decoration known to man.

I waved my hand at my eager daughter, hoping she could contain her excitement for a few more minutes. Harlow looked seconds away from passing out due to heat stroke, and Ethan’s nose was buried in his phone. “I’m shocked you talked her into coming,” I told him as we inched even closer.

“You kidding me? This was her idea,” he scoffed. “Damned woman’s gonna be the death of me, I swear.”

I looked back at the woman who appeared to be absolutely miserable as she sprawled out on the bench. “Really?”

We took another step closer. “Seriously. She’s been obsessed with this damned carnival since I met her. We came every summer back in high school. Even with the pregnancy she refused to miss this year since it’s her first summer back. No doubt I’ll be hauling my ass down here this winter and freezing my nuts off for the Christmas shit too.”

We finally made it to the front of the line. I stepped up to the window and bought all-day passes for myself and Eliza, knowing good and well she’ll expect to ride every ride here, and eat her weight in cotton candy and other junk food. My head shot to the side when I heard Noah tell the ticket vendor, “Four, please.”

“Four?”

“Oh, yeah,” he said as we made our way to the bench. “I forgot to tell you, we’re meeting—”

“Miss Chloe!” Eliza yelled, cutting Noah off once we were about ten feet from the bench they were all sitting on. My head spun around and I caught sight of her immediately. That light red hair shone brighter as the sun bounced off of it. The pale skin of her arms and legs were exposed in a pair of khaki shorts and a flowy peach tank top. It was strange, I hadn’t really paid attention before, but seeing Chloe standing there, the epitome of summer comfort, I couldn’t help but notice she was actually… cute.

Well this day suddenly took an unexpected turn.

Chloe

SHIT
.

Shit, shit, shit, shit
!

I smiled at the little girl despite my insides having seized up at the thought of seeing her father. It wasn’t her fault she was born to an asshole. There was no way I was holding that against her.

“Hey, sweetheart. How are you?”

“Are you going to the carnival with us today?” she asked, too excited to have heard the question I’d just asked her.

I looked at Harlow who just shrugged her shoulders and looked like she wanted to be just about anywhere else right then. “Well, if you’re here with Ms. Harlow then I guess so.”

“I’m here with my daddy, too.”

Damn it, of course she is
. At that very moment, I glanced up and locked eyes with Derrick, cussing myself out in my head for feeling a little flutter from just one look into his eyes. I really wasn’t in the mood to deal with his shit today. I loved everything about the carnival, the rides, the food, the atmosphere, the blissful breeze that blew off the lake as we walked around, making the temperature outside feel comfortable instead of hot. Coming here was a tradition I’d held every single summer, rain or shine, and I wasn’t going to let him ruin that for me.

“All right,” my smile was bright, if not fake, “who’s ready to get inside?”

Eliza jumped up and down while Harlow, with a lot of help from Noah, hefted herself off the bench and started waddling toward the entrance gates. Ethan never even bothered to look up from his cell.

I’d maybe gotten three steps when a warm hand wrapped around my elbow, pulling me to a stop. “Hey,” Derrick said quietly. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

I opened my mouth to object just as Eliza, walking next to Harlow, spun around and shouted across the way, “Come on, Dad! All the lines are gonna be long!”

Whew, dodged that particular bullet.

I took a step, but Derrick’s hand tightened. “You guys mind letting her tag along for a few?” he called back. “I need to talk to Chloe, it’ll only take a minute.”

One of Harlow’s brows cocked as she shot me a look that said
you’ve got some serious explaining to do
. Noah, ever the lovable, clueless man, waved his hand. “We got her. Catch up with you guys in a bit.”

Then my friends, the jackasses, walked through the gates, abandoning me with no one for company but a bastard.

“Chloe,” he said my name without a hint of anger or irritation, but I couldn’t bring myself to glance up from the cracked concrete sidewalk beneath my feet. “Please look at me, sunshine. I owe you a huge apology and I’d rather not say it to the top of your head.”

Damn it
! Why did he have to be sweet… and funny?

“It’s fine,” I said to the sidewalk. “Nothing to forgive, so we can go now.”

Another step, another tightening of his hand on my arm, refusing to let go. I was really starting to get annoyed with that. I finally tilted my head up and met his remorseful gaze. “Seriously, Derrick. I said it’s fine, okay? I forgive you, it’s all good.”

One corner of his mouth tipped up in a smirk and I
really
wanted to dislike it, I swear I did. I just couldn’t. “Why don’t I believe you, sunshine?”

“Because you’re a self-absorbed asshole?” I asked without a thought then slapped my hands over my mouth, in shock by what I’d just said out loud.

“Thought so,” he chuckled, good-naturedly.

“Oh my God,” I mumbled behind my hands before pulling them away. “I’m so sorry! I can’t believe I said that. I don’t know what came over me!”

“You were pissed off,” he continued to laugh in that deep, rich baritone of his. “And rightfully so. What I said to you a few days ago was fucked up. I was in a bad mood and took that out on you, and for that, I’m sorry, Chloe. From the bottom of my heart.”

It was times like this that I wished I was like Harlow, with her thick skin and take-no-shit attitude. But I wasn’t. And somehow, despite being polar opposites, we’d managed to become best friends. I just didn’t have it in me
not
to forgive someone. That was why I found myself nodding and offering Derrick a small but genuine grin. “You’re forgiven.”

And he was, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t still feeling the sting of that fateful Fourth of July picnic. That was the type of humiliation a woman like me never bounced back from. So, while I might have forgiven Derrick for his cruel words earlier that week, I still didn’t know how to be around him, how to act. That rejection was still playing on a constant loop in my head.

We made our way through the gates in companionable silence, or at least as companionable as possible, given the entire situation. We spotted Noah’s head standing taller than most of the women and children around him. He looked like he’d rather be anywhere else at that moment, and despite the fact I loved the guy like a brother, I couldn’t help but smile at his misery.

“Haven’t seen that look in a while,” Derrick spoke from beside me, startling me out of my musings.

“Huh?”

“The smile,” he grinned back at me as he pointed to my mouth. “Haven’t seen you smile recently. I was starting to think that sunshine disappeared.”

My lips tilted into a frown as my forehead creased in confusion. “I smile all the time.”

“Maybe so,” he shrugged as we walked, “but not at me. I’m beginning to miss it.”

His words were spoken with such ease, such casualness that he couldn’t have possibly known my heart was splintering in my chest at that very moment. Just then, I couldn’t think of a pain greater than wanting someone so completely, you felt it in every cell of your body, only to have that same desire go unfulfilled. Unrequited love really was a bitch. And she could go straight to hell for all I cared.

“Miss Chloe, let’s go ride the Gravitron!” Eliza yelped once Derrick and I made it to our group.

“Okay,” I laughed, peering down at the excited girl, at the same time Noah said, “I’m out. Pretty sure I just got mean-mugged by a six-year old that thought I was cutting in line, I’ll be in the beer garden if you guys need me.”

“I’m gonna go find my friends,” Ethan muttered, eyes still glued to his phone as he wandered off.

“And I’m gonna sit on this nice, comfy bench.” Harlow plopped down with a sigh and kicked her legs out in front of her. If you guys ride all the rides in this general area…” she made a circle in front of her with her finger, “…I’ll cheer you on from here. Anywhere else and you’re on your own.”

A giggle escaped my throat as Eliza reached up to take my hand. “Ready?”

“Yep,” I answered and turned to look at Derrick, he looked like his puppy had just run away as he watched after Noah’s retreating form.

I rolled my eyes at how pathetic men were and told him, “If you want to go with Noah, I’m happy to keep Eliza company.”

“You sure?” he asked a little too eagerly.

“Absolute—” and just like that, he was gone, actually shouting, “Hey Noah! Wait up!” as he jogged through the crowd.

With a shrug, I clasped my hand tighter around Eliza’s and led her to the Gravitron. Then Pharaoh’s Fury. Then the ride that swung you around in a circle from a cable, swinging us out above the lake. Then that damned ride that takes you high up in the air just to drop you over and over again. By the time we finished, I needed a break, or I was liable to revisit everything I had for breakfast earlier that day. Luckily Eliza decided she wanted to ride the carousel, giving me a much-needed reprieve from the stomach-churning rides. I took a seat on the bench next to Harlow and shook her awake.

“I’m awake, Noah, I swear!” she shouted with a jolt as she became conscious of her surroundings. “Oh thank God,” she sighed, leaning against the back of the bench with her hand on her chest as I laughed at her. “I thought I’d fallen asleep during sex again.”