Sweet Sunshine (18 page)

I felt the muscles that had been tense just seconds ago begin to loosen as I grinned down at her, knowing exactly what she was going to push for, and knowing I wasn’t going to allow it. It was unbelievable how just a few seconds with Chloe managed to erase the foul stench that clung heavy in the air any time Layla was around. Usually the woman would ruin my entire day in just a handful of minutes. But not now… not this time. And the only difference was the sunshine standing before me.

“You’re not going home,” I told her, feeling my grin stretch into a wide smile as she blew out a huff and stomped her foot.

“I have to go to work, Derrick!”

“I already called Erin and told her you’d be out today and tomorrow. No sense in arguing about it. She and the rest of your staff told me to pass on their well wishes. Quite the supportive team you got there.”

She let out an adorable growl and stomped her foot once more before spinning around and storming back into the bedroom, slamming the door behind her.

I laughed as I headed for the couch, plopped down, and flipped on the TV, feeling lighter than I had in years.

All because of sunshine.

Chloe

I WAS DREAMING
. I had to be. There was no other logical explanation for what was happening to me.

And it was the Best. Dream. Ever.

Something pulled me from the deepest recesses of sleep, and as I blinked my eyes open to the sight of the darkened room, my sleep-addled brain was still too drowsy to figure out what had woken me. As I stared out of the French doors, nothing but black blanketing the forest ahead, my whole body tensed at the realization that the tingles I’d been feeling thanks to the erotic dream I had of Derrick weren’t abating.

Then I realized why.

“Derrick?” I asked on a gasp as his large hand spanned against my belly, pushing me further back into him.

“Shh,” he whispered in my ear, just before pulling the lobe between his teeth and biting down.

“What are you d-doing?” My voice broke as a shudder worked its way up my throat.

“What I’ve been dying to do for what feels like forever,” was his bewildering answer. I didn’t understand what was happening. We were supposed to be friends.
Just friends
. Yet, for the past few days he’d been acting like he wanted more from me. I couldn’t wrap my head around what was going on.

When the hell had he started wanting me? Until a few days ago I had no idea he’d even noticed I was a woman.

“I don’t…” I breathed as his tongue left a trail across my tingling flesh. “I don’t think—”

“Don’t think,” he rumbled. “Just feel, baby. Christ, you undo me.” He bit down on the tendon that ran from my neck down to my shoulder.

I moaned as the sting of pain sparked into something that made my blood run hot and my stomach clench. As he rained open-mouth kisses from ear to shoulder and back again, my hips involuntarily rocked back, pressing against the hardness of his erection. He groaned against my skin and I shivered as he continued his toe-curling assault. I’d never had a man pay such attention to that particular spot on my body, and it was driving me mad. It was as though every single nerve ending in my body was located
right there
. What he was doing to me made it impossible to control the needy sounds that fell from my lips. I was so turned on that rationality had flown out the window. There wasn’t tomorrow or the repercussions it could hold, there was only here… only
now
.

His voice was gravelly as he said, “So fucking sweet,” against my shoulder before biting down again.

“Mmm,
Derrick
.” I rolled my hips, pressing harder against his cock, desperate for
something
, some friction to help ease the pressure building between my thighs.

With a low, rumbling growl, one hand twisted into my hair, pulling my head back so hard my scalp stung, while the other snaked from my stomach to my breast and squeezed. I loved it.
All
of it. I went mindless with pleasure, nothing mattered but what Derrick was doing and how it made me feel. I couldn’t think, I could barely
breathe
the craving was so intoxicating.

“Oh God.” I rocked and rocked and rocked my hips back as he let go of my breast just long enough to reach under my t-shirt and palm it without any barrier.

“Love how you light up for me,” he moaned, thrusting his hips forward. “Are you wet, sunshine?”

“Derrick,” I whimpered as his hold on my hair enabled him to twist my head any which way he wanted so he could continue to feast on my skin. “I need…”

“What, baby?” Another bite from him, another groan from me. God, it was like he was ravenous for me. “What do you need?”

“
More
,” was all I was able to get out.

In a blink, I was on my back, my top whipped over my head as Derrick loomed above me, his hips forcing my thighs apart as he settled himself between them. His mouth claimed mine in a brutal, dominating kiss.

“Mmm, Chloe.” His moan vibrated through his chest and into mine as he trailed kisses along my jaw. “What are you doing to me?”

“I-I don’t know,” I panted, fisting his hair as my back arched beneath him, pressing my breasts into his firm, solid chest.

He slid against me, his rigid length pushing against where I needed it the most. At the pressure of his cock grinding against my core, my head fell back against the pillow, a low, guttural sound coming from deep within my throat.

“You drive me fucking crazy,” he murmured as his lips moved lower and lower. “I can’t get you out of my head, no matter how hard I try.”

His tongue flicked my straining nipple, shooting pulsing waves of pleasure to my center, making me even wetter, more desperate. With each lash of his tongue, my body writhed against his, searching for something to send me over the edge, into the abyss.

“Oh, God. Don’t stop doing that.” I let out a cry when his mouth pulled away.

He moved back up my body, his lips close to my ear when he whispered, “Tell me you want me inside you.” My mouth opened to follow his command only to get stuck in my throat. He let out a pained moan as his hips undulated against me. “Say it.”

“I—” my brain chose that very moment to reengage, pushing back the pleasure coursing through me and pulling rationality to the forefront of my mind. This wasn’t me. I couldn’t do this with all the uncertainty that loomed between us. I wasn’t one to ever judge a person on their choices, but I also wasn’t the kind of person who could have meaningless sex. Maybe it was the romantic in me that still pined after the fairytale ending, but I knew if I slept with Derrick and it turned out it was just a heat of the moment thing for him, I’d be crushed.

“Wait. Wait, wait, wait.” My palms spread wide on his bare chest, giving him a tiny shove back, even as my body screamed at the loss of his weight.

Derrick’s voice was soft, laced with concern as he lifted up slightly so he could look down at me. “What’s the matter?” I shook my head back and forth in confusion. The pads of his fingers ran along my forehead, moving the hair off my face and tucking it gently behind my ear. I had to clench my eyes closed at the soothing action.

“Chloe?” he asked when I said nothing. “Baby, look at me.”

I couldn’t. I shook my head again in answer. I couldn’t get my spiraling thoughts under control. I struggled to calm the war raging inside of me, I registered his movement just seconds before the light on the bedside table clicked on.

“Sunshine. Open your eyes.”

I managed to peel my eyelids open and looked up at him as he rested on his haunches between my still-spread thighs, his shaft straining against the blue cotton of his boxer briefs. It wasn’t until I caught his gaze skating along my chest before snapping back to my face that I realized I was still topless, exposed.

“Uh…” I pulled the sheet across my breasts, holding it against me like a shield. “Can you… could you hand me my shirt?”

He leaned over the edge of the bed and snatched my shirt off the floor, passing it my way. I pulled it over my head in a rush as I scooted back on the mattress until my back rested against the headboard.

“Tell me what’s going through your head,” he said, moving closer to me, closing the space I’d just put between us, the space I desperately needed in order to think clearly.

“I—” my voice cracked on the emotion suddenly clogging my throat. “I can’t do this if it’s… if it’s not going to mean anything to you.” I watched as his eyebrows formed a deep
V
. “You think this wouldn’t mean anything to me?”

I released a pent up breath as I ran my hands over my face agitatedly. “No. I mean yes! God, I’m not saying this right!”

I shivered at the contact when his hands landed on my shins, rubbing in soothing circles. “Just relax, sunshine. It’s just me. Take a deep breath and get it out.” I did as he instructed, inhaling deeply through my nose and blowing it out past my lips. “Can you…” I pointed down at his hands that had managed to make their way up my legs. “It’s hard to think straight when you’re touching me like that.” I gave him a shy grin. He smirked in return as he held his palms up.

“Not touching you,” he chuckled. “Now tell me what’s happening in that gorgeous head of yours.”

“You said I deserved a man who could commit to me.” He flinched as I reminded him of the conversation we’d had in front of the Ferris wheel. The same conversation that managed to crush any hopes I’d had of us being
more
. “What’s changed between then and now?” He let out a long sigh as he ran a hand through his hair and cupped the back of his neck. The sudden deflation in his shoulders caused my head to tilt as I studied his face closely. “Or has nothing changed at all?”

He paused. Then, “Chloe…” he sighed again, and I had my answer.

And it gutted me.

“I understand your reasons for shying away from commitment,” I informed him, my voice hard as I fought the sting building behind my eyes. “I’ve
met
the reason, and I can’t fault you for your choices, Derrick. But you know
me.” That was what hurt the most, honestly. “You know I’m not capable of giving you what you’ve had from the other women in town.” I paused as my anger built and my heart splintered apart in my chest. “You
know
me.”

“Sunshine—”

“Admit it!” I snapped. “Admit you knew I wasn’t like your other women.”

I watched in morbid fascination as his eyes widened just slightly and the realization of what I was saying caused the color to bleed from his face. “I knew, sunshine. But that’s not what—”

I jumped from the bed, unable to stand being so close to him. “Did you, or did you not climb into be with me tonight with the sole purpose of getting into my pants?”

God, I didn’t want the answer to that.

But I needed to know. I needed the truth.

“That wasn’t all this was!” He insisted.

“You wanted to have sex with me.” It wasn’t a question.

“Yes,” he ground out.

“And afterward?”

“I…” he trailed off, momentarily lost for words before finishing with a ragged, “I don’t know.”

My chest heaved with every labored breath I took. “You said you wanted to be my friend because you cared about me.”

“I do! I do care! Fuck, Chloe!”

“Then tell me you didn’t come in here to use me like you’ve used every other willing woman in Pembrooke.” A few tears broke free and I quickly batted them away, only to have more fall in their place. “I need you to tell me that, because I’ve been in love with you since I met you.” His chest expanded as he sucked in air, his expression like I’d just slapped him. “I accepted you at your word when you said you weren’t able to give me what I needed, and I agreed to be your friend because I’d rather have that from you than nothing at all. So I need you to tell me you weren’t using me. I need you to say it, because the thought that you’d have such little respect for me hurts worse than you could imagine.”

He moved toward me, his face ravaged as he tried to reach for me, but I moved out of his grasp. “Sunshine…”

My voice shook as I said, “Just tell me the truth.”

“You told me you didn’t feel like that anymore,” he stated frantically, continuing in my direction. “You said it was a crush and you were over it!”

“I lied,” I whispered brokenly.

“
Fuck
!” He began pacing in front of the fireplace, his hands fisted in his hair.

He still hadn’t told me what I needed to hear. But it wouldn’t have mattered anyway. I would have known it was a lie. He could have tried to paint over the truth with sweet, placating words, but in the end, the outcome would have been the same.

My heart was broken, once again.

“At least answer one question for me,” I demanded, surprised at the strength in my words despite my tears. “Would we have still been friends come morning, or would I have been discarded like the rest of them?”

“You aren’t like the rest of them,” he said quietly, shaking his head as he stared me in the eyes.

“That’s not an answer.”

“I don’t know! I don’t know, Chloe. My head’s a fucking mess when it comes to you. I don’t know what I’m doing or what I want to happen. I can’t fucking
think
straight when you’re around.”