Sweet Starfire (38 page)

“Cidra, you feel so good. Do you know what you’re doing to me?”

“I’m learning.”

He moved one hand lower, threading his fingers through the wonderfully soft tangle of hair below her stomach, and then he could feel the gathering moistness between her legs. The sensual dampness dazed him, almost overwhelming him with a sense of anticipation. He probed gently, and when she gasped, he probed again. He could never get enough of her soft cries of excitement. ‘Touch me, Cidra. I want to feel your hands on me.”

He caught her hand and guided it down to his throbbing manhood. When her fingers closed tenderly around him, he shut his eyes and forced himself to take a calming breath.

“What’s wrong?” She sounded anxious.

“Nothing,” he told her, his voice tight. “You have the damnedest effect on me, little Saint. Touch me again. I’m a glutton for punishment.”

“Like this?”

He nipped her shoulder as she obeyed. “Yes,” he muttered as she gently used her nails on him. “Yes, sweetheart. That’s exactly right.”

He gloried in the feel of her, moving his hand beneath her lushly rounded buttocks and finding the dark cleft between them. She flinched at the unfamiliar caress, and he held her more tightly until she relaxed again and let herself respond. When he had her straining urgently beneath him, he let his hand rove elsewhere. He teased the parting folds of flesh that guarded the entrance to her warm, fragrant core. She moved pleadingly under the touch, closing her thighs around his hand as if she would draw him further into her.

“Do you want me?” he asked, his voice harsh with his own need.

“I want you. I want you, Severance.”

“Not half as much as I want you.” He lifted himself, sliding her into position under his heaviness, and then lowered himself along the length of her. “Wrap your legs around me, love.”

She did. He had been poised on the threshold, and when she lifted her legs to clasp his thighs, the movement forced him into her. He heard his name on her lips and felt her shiver as he thrust forward, taking her completely.

Then she was clinging to him, her breasts soft beneath his chest, her body strong and supple as she held on to him with all her might. He would never be able to get enough of her, Severance thought fleetingly. Not even if he had her all to himself for the rest of his life.

She accepted the rhythm he established, augmenting it with her own inner muscles. The resulting harmony sent both of them spiraling upward to an inevitable conclusion. Severance lifted his head to watch her face as he felt the beginning of her joyous release. He wanted to watch her expression forever, but already the sight and feel of her satisfaction were driving him over the edge of his own. He sucked in his breath and surged forward one last time, sinking himself into her until all sense of separateness was gone. The two of them felt like a single entity. And then he just held on, clutching her more tightly than he would hold on to a pulser in the middle of the jungle.

“Cidra.”

It was a long time before either of them surfaced in the darkness of the tent. In mutual silence they lay listening to each other’s breathing and to the sounds of the night beyond die deflectors. At long last Cidra stirred, stretching luxuriously in a movement that brushed her breast along Severance’s rib cage.

“Good night, Severance.” Her voice was soft and sleepy as she curled into him.

“Good night, Cidra.” He felt her drift off to sleep, a bundle of feminine contentment in his arms. Then he lay awake for a long time and thought about the future.

Cidra awoke the next morning feeling decidedly stiff. The sleeper could accommodate two people in a pinch, but it wasn’t really designed for the extra crowd. Tentatively she moved her leg and felt Severance turn in response. His arm, which was lying across her breasts, tightened. He yawned in her ear.

“Do you mink your bunk on the ship is going to be big enough for both of us, or will you rig up something to connect the upper and lower berths?” she asked drowsily.

“My bunk? Do you mean on the ship?”

“Uh-huh.”

“I hadn’t thought about it.”

“Well,” she announced grandly, “you’d better, hadn’t you? You’re the one who’s always worrying about little details.”

He stilled for a moment and then slowly levered himself up on one elbow to gaze down at her searchingly. She smiled smugly, wondering why he was looking so serious.

“You’re talking about staying on Severance Pay with me?”

“I’m a full-fledged member of the crew, remember?” She reached up and toyed with his tousled hair. He ignored her.

“You’re going back to Clementia.”

“Nope. I’m going to
QED
to help deliver the mail.” She tugged at a lock experimentally. He didn’t seem to notice. The first faint trickle of alarm passed through her. “Severance?”

“You have to go back to Clementia, Cidra.” His voice sounded raw.

“Why?”

“Because that’s where you want to go.” She shook her head with grave certainty. “No. Not anymore. I want to be with you.”

“But you belong in Clementia. It’s your home. Your work is there. The people you care about…” “I care about you now.”

He drew a deep breath as if preparing himself for an unpleasant task. “You have to go back.”

His dogged stubbornness began to make an impression. “Why do I have to go back? Just because you say so?”

“Yes, damn it!” He sat up abruptly, pushing aside the cover of the sleeper. In the muted morning light that passed through the tent screen, the muscles of his shoulders and back were set and rigid. “You have to go back to Clementia because you’ve been saying all along that you belong there. Your life’s ambition is to be a Harmonic.”

“I’m not a Harmonic. I never was one and I never will be one. I know that now.”

He looked at her. “But you can live like one. You can change your fancy gown four times a day, practice all the rituals, study the philosophy and the laws. Part of you is Harmonic, Cidra. Hell, Harmonics aren’t an alien race living among humans. Some part of every human being is Harmonic. You can indulge that part of yourself. All you’ll lack is the telepathic ability. You were born into that world, and you can’t possibly know for certain that you want to leave it permanently.”

“I do know for certain,” she said calmly. “I’m ready to leave it permanently.”

“Get one thing straight, Cidra. If you do leave it to come with me, you can never go back. I wouldn’t let you go back. Do you understand what I’m saving?”

“Do you want me to come with you?” she countered.

He closed his eyes for an anguished instant. When he opened them, his gaze was very hard. In that moment he was all Wolf. “Sweet Harmony, yes. Yes, damn it, I want you to come with me. But not unless you’re absolutely sure it’s what you want too.”

“I’m sure.”

“Cidra, you can’t possibly know that. It’s too soon.” She tilted her head as understanding dawned. “You don’t trust me, do you?”

He was startled. “What do you mean, I don’t trust you?” “It’s true. You don’t trust me. You’re afraid I don’t know my own mind. Well, that’s one thing about being a Wolf, Severance. You have to learn to trust the hard way. You have to take a chance.”

“I’m not going to take a chance on this. It’s too important. And don’t give me any lectures on what it means to be a Wolf. I’m the Wolf here.”

“So am I.”

“Only because I made you into one!” Cidra began to get angry. “Don’t go taking all the credit for everything, Teague Severance. You’re always so anxious to assume responsibility, to be the pilot in command, that you tend to forget I’m capable of free will and clear thinking too. I’ve got news for you, this is a decision I’m making all by myself.”

“Be reasonable, Cidra. You’ve only been away from Clementia for about three weeks. So much has happened to you in that time that you can’t possibly be thinking clearly.”

“I was trained to think clearly under all circumstances!” He eyed her.

“You’re starting to lose your temper.”

“Astute observation. I’m getting very angry, Severance.”

“Cidra, all I’m asking is that you consider this in a calm, rational manner. You’ve been under a great deal of strain lately.”

“Strain? I’ve been seduced, assaulted by wild beasts, attacked by alien illusions, obliged to eat meat, and taught to gamble. Yes, I’ve been under a strain. But that doesn’t mean I can’t think straight. It’s Wolves such as you who get muddle-headed in emotional circumstances. And the fact that you are presently in just such a circumstance is the only reason I’m making allowances for your behavior at the moment. I’m the best crew mate you ever had, Teague Severance. I’m loyal, trustworthy, and intelligent. If you had any sense, you’d realize just how lucky you are and get down on your knees in gratitude!”

He stared at her as she sat up in the sleeper, her long hair spilling around her shoulders and dancing across the tips of her breasts. Her eyes were full of fire and daunting determination. He felt himself wavering in the face of it. Summoning all his fortitude, he stood firm. “Cidra, I know you think you mean what you say.”

“I do mean what I say!”

“But this decision is too important.”

“To whom?”

“To me, you little idiot. Will you listen to me? I’m trying to do what’s best for both of us.”

“You’re just trying to protect yourself,” she retorted. He started to argue and then halted abruptly. “Maybe I am.” He looked away from her. “I couldn’t bear it if I took you with me and you changed your mind a season or two from now. I couldn’t bear to watch you pining for the gardens of Clementia and the love of a man who will never want to make love to you. It would destroy me, Cidra.”

She heard the gritty truth in his words and knew her first sense of genuine uncertainty. She didn’t doubt her own feelings for a moment, but she had to acknowledge that Severance had a right to be unsure of her. From the moment he had met her she had talked mainly of finding a way to go back to Clementia. She couldn’t blame him for doubting her change of heart and mind.

“What about a compromise?” she asked softly.

He swung around to face her. “What kind of compromise? I’m not going to be a visiting lover for you. I won’t agree to just drop in and sleep with you occasionally when I happen to be near Clementia.”

Her head came up proudly. “I’m not interested in such a … a thin relationship, either. For the record I won’t be a convenient resource for a little special handling when you’re between mail runs.”

“I know mat.”

“Very well, then, why don’t we try a more or less platonic association for a while.”

“The way we did for two weeks on the hop from Lovelady to Renaissance? You’re out of your tuned mind. I’d never survive. Talk about strain!”

“Then you suggest something,” she shot back.

His face hardened. “All right, I will. Go back to Clementia. ...”

“But, Severance…”

“Go back to Clementia while I finish the run to
QED
. When I get back, I’ll come to Clementia. If you’re still sure you want to come away with me, I’ll take you.”

She drew a breath. “It’s six weeks from here to
QED
and then eight more to get back to Lovelady. That’s a long time, Severance.”

“Long enough for you to be sure of what you’re doing.”

Cidra felt her stomach tighten as she saw the determination in him. “You really don’t trust me to know what I’m doing, do you?”

“I think you need time.”

“What if you don’t come back for me, Severance?” she asked softly.

“You’ll have to trust me to come back, just as I’ll have to trust you to be waiting.

“Wolves have a very hard time with trust, don’t they?” she whispered.

“Yes.”

“It’s amazing how sophisticated and cosmopolitan Port Try Again looks after a few days in the jungle.” Cidra grinned across the table at Desma Kady, who was halfway through a meat stew. “Renaissance has a way of giving one a new perspective on things.”

Desma chuckled. “I know what you mean. But cosmopolitan as we may be, you’re still drawing a few stares. Most of these renegades wouldn’t blink at a charging zalon, but they’ve blinked several times at that beautiful dress.” She inclined her head to indicate the other diners in the restaurant.

Cidra glanced down at her yellow-gold early evening gown. “I didn’t mean to cause a scene. It’s just that it felt so good to get back into my own clothes.” She added quickly, “Not that I didn’t appreciate your advice on the practical clothing for the jungle. I don’t know what I would have done without the trousers and shirt.”

“I doubt Severance would have allowed you to go trekking off without the right gear. He’s usually very conscious of details such as that. I wonder where he is.”

“Attending to more details.” Cidra grimaced. “He’s negotiating a deal with two of the biggest scientific firms who have representatives here at Try Again. He’s been at it ever since we got back last night.”

“When it comes to business, that man has the tenacity of a lockmouth,” Desma observed. “He deserves a break like this. He’s worked hard to build Severance Pay, Ltd. into one of the most reliable of the small mail runners. The stake he gets from selling the information you two discovered will go a long way toward helping him set up a major business operation.” Des-ma’s eyes glowed. “Sweet Harmony, what a find. Absolutely fantastic. I just hope my firm makes the high bid. With any luck I’ll get a piece of the project.”

“I’m sure Severance will sell to your company,” Cidra said politely. “He knows you’d like to be involved.”

“He’ll sell to the highest bidder. Period. When it comes to something this big, Severance isn’t going to let sentiment interfere. How are the veggies?” Desma peered at the pile of greens and tubers on Cidra’s plate.

“Wonderful. To be quite honest, I don’t care if I never have occasion to eat meat again.”

“Poor Cidra. This whole thing has been quite an adventure for you, hasn’t it? Starting with that night in my lab when you drove off the intruder.”

“I take it he hasn’t turned up?”

Desma shook her head. “No, damn it. I’d give my last research report to get my hands on him. The company guards have circulated the description, but I’m afraid it wasn’t very useful.”