Sweet Serendipity (16 page)

“Of course I want to see her happy. That’s why I’m in therapy. I want to be that man for her. I want to make her happy. We’ve been together forever. I can’t just walk away. I still love her,” Jack snapped.

“If you love her, then I suggest you let her figure it out on her own. Let her explore her feelings for this guy Ethan. If it doesn’t work, then you’ll have your answer, but you shouldn’t interfere,” Richard told him.

“I’m getting another beer.” Jack excused himself.

The girls watched him scurry off into the kitchen. Emily shot her husband a dirty look. James smiled at her and threw his hands in the air.

Rebecca sat in the living room talking to Ethan. Jack could hear her laughing and it hurt. He waited until she said goodbye before he entered the room. She stood up when she noticed him.

“Jack,” she said. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her. He had a hand on either side of her face and he held her there as he kissed her with a fierce need. She pushed him away.

“What the hell was that for?”

“Tell me you don’t feel something for me. Just tell me, and I’ll stop.”

“Jack…it’s not like that. What is all this about?”

“So you do feel something when I kiss you?” He reached over and caressed her arm. “Do you feel anything when I do that?” He ran his hand along her side and he felt her body react to him. “I know you still feel something.”

“I never said I didn’t, Jack. You are the one who stopped feeling something. You are the one who went elsewhere instead of trying to work on things here.”

He took a step back and looked down into her saddened eyes.

“I did. I was so screwed up, Bec. I thought you hated me for what happened to Brian. You couldn’t even look at me anymore. I wanted desperately to rewind to that day. I didn’t realize that I’d lose everyone the day that Brian died.”

“That’s not fair, Jack. You can’t do this to me now. It’s been over a year. You’ve never so much as tried to talk to me about this. You never…”

He kissed her again. Rebecca felt lost. Her emotions were on overdrive. She knew everyone’s grieving processes were different. Maybe Jack really was finding a way to work through his guilt and grief. Maybe he was trying to find his way back to her. She found herself kissing him back. She wrapped her arms around him and he held onto her tightly. He was the one who pulled away first. One arm was wrapped around her, and with the other one, he traced the outline of her face.

“I’m working on me, Bec. I’ve tried to drown myself in a bottle, I tried to lose myself in someone else, but it’s you that I’ve needed this whole time. I wish I had realized it before, but I’m hoping that you won’t slam the door on me yet.”

Rebecca closed her eyes and rested her forehead on Jack’s chest.

“I’m seeing someone, Jack, and I don’t want to stop seeing him.”

She felt him take in a deep breath. He felt sick to his stomach, but he realized if he had any hopes of working through it, he’d have to see things her way.

“I understand, Becky. I put you through hell. I did this to us. I just want you to keep an open mind about us. I only ask that you give us a chance, too.”

She looked up into his gray eyes.

“You’d be alright with me seeing someone else?”

“I didn’t say that. I’m not OK with it. I can’t tell you not to date someone else. You have every right to date whomever you want; I just want to be given a fair chance. Honestly, the thought of you with another man absolutely kills me. It’s one of the things I have to learn to live with. I did this to us, this is my fault.” He looked at her and smiled. “I love you, Bec. I always have, and I know I always will.”

“Hey there, glad I interrupted here, food is being served and I was sent to find everyone,” Emily said snippily. She shot Rebecca a nasty look as she made her way through the room to the staircase. Jack snickered.

“I think she’ll hate me forever. It’ll be yet another obstacle to overcome. She’s going to be pushing you toward anyone but me.”

“That’s not fair, Jack. She’s like a sister. She’s going to want whatever I want. We’d better get outside or we’ll be the talk of the party.”

Jack slid his hand through hers and squeezed. She tried to smile at him, but it just didn’t feel the same anymore.

They made it through the cook out. Other than Tasha remaining quiet, it felt like old times because everyone was together. Rebecca noticed that Adam kept smiling when he noticed his mother and father sitting next to each other.

The kids all excused themselves from the patio and the girls ran back up to their room. Adam took Andrew onto the swing set, and Layla cooed in her daddy’s arms.

Tasha looked at Emily and James.

“So what was the outcome of Andrew’s testing? I don’t think you ever told us.”

Emily and James exchanged looks. Emily thought about what she was going to say.

“It’ll all be fine. He was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome. We’ve learned a lot about it, and it’s not as scary as we thought. It’s considered a high-functioning autism. He is extremely intelligent for his age, which is great. We’ll just monitor him and he’ll keep seeing a specialist to help him out. It really shouldn’t change things too much. He’s just sensitive to certain things, like sounds and lights. He doesn’t adjust well to change.”

“Is it something that can worsen as he gets older?” Tasha asked.

“Maybe, he’s still so young, so we don’t know the extent of it yet. I hate labels. I don’t want him labeled because it will follow him for the rest of his life, but I don’t want him to suffer once he’s in school. The specialists will work with him now, and hopefully he’ll adjust.”

Everyone sat quiet and watched Andrew sitting and playing with the dump trucks that Rebecca kept outside by the sand area. Adam tried to coax Andrew into playing with him, but Andrew was perfectly happy playing by himself.

Emily shrugged his shoulder.

“That’s how it’s been. He’ll be around others, but he wants to do his own thing. It’s like it happened all of a sudden, or maybe it was always there, and we just didn’t understand it.”

Tasha coughed, and everyone immediately turned toward her direction.

“Uh-uh. don’t you all do that. I may be sick, but you will not treat me any different than you did before a week ago. Do you understand me?” Tasha demanded.

Even though her words were heard, no one was able to speak. They sat quietly. Tasha shook her head.

“So much for feeling comfortable. I think I am just going to lay down now, guys. I’m tired, and it’s time for my pills. They’ll put me to sleep in no time anyway.”

Richard stood up and helped Tasha to her feet. She pushed his hand away.

“Richard, I appreciate you, I really do, but you all need to stop treating me with kid gloves. I am perfectly capable of walking down the hall to the bedroom. You can at least wait until I can’t walk any longer, but it’s not now. Go home to Rochelle. Go plan your wedding.”

Tasha made her way slowly down the hall and closed the guest room door behind her. Everyone sat speechless. It was finally Emily who talked first.

“We’re going to have to make sure she sees that therapist. She is right, though, we can’t go around treating her like an invalid.” She sat on James’ lap and clung to him, needing his reassurance. Layla began to cry in her car seat. Rebecca jumped up and held her hand up to Emily.

“I got her. I haven’t had snuggle time. You guys just relax.”

Rebecca picked up the baby and rocked her in her arms as she mixed a bottle of formula. She took the baby and sat down in a chair and fed her. She loved the sounds infants make when they drink. She could remember the special quiet time she’d had with all three of her kids. Jack walked into the kitchen and put three empty beer bottles on the counter. He walked to the fridge and got three more. As he was walking back to the screen door, he stopped and watched Rebecca with the infant. He stood admiring her. She looked up and caught him staring. He quickly smiled and made his way back outside.

Layla had fallen back asleep after being fed, and Rebecca cracked open a bottle of wine. She poured herself a glass and stood at the counter staring at Tasha’s closed door. Emily walked in to check on the baby and stood beside Rebecca.

“It’s not going to be easy, you know.”

Rebecca looked at her curiously. “What isn’t?”

“Any of it,” she began. “Dealing with Tasha, whatever it is that you are doing with Jack, and of course there is Ethan. It’s going to be a long road.” Emily took a sip of Rebecca’s wine and handed the glass back to her. “So what is it that you are doing with Jack, exactly?” Her tone gave way to the fact that anything having to do with Jack made her angry.

“It’s nothing,” Rebecca snapped at her.

“Really? Because it didn’t look like
nothing
the two times I walked in on you all cozy with him. I swear to God, Becca. I don’t mind telling you that you are acting like an ass. How could you even think to give him the time of day after what he put you through?”

“It’s not as easy as that, Emily,” Rebecca stated. She felt beaten down. She didn’t have the heart to go into it with her friend. She was confused. She had a history with Jack. They have a family together. They lost a child together. Jack is the only other person who could possibly understand what it is that she was going through. Did she think she’d ever be able to get past his infidelity and betrayal? She didn’t know the answer.

“I can see the wheels turning in your head, darling, and I don’t like what I am seeing. He’s an ass. He cheated on you, not to mention your marriage was in the crapper long before Brian died. You might not want to hear it, but you need to. Don’t fall for his same old song and dance. He had you; he had you completely devoted to him even though he never deserved you. He screwed up, not you. You owe it to yourself to find your own happiness. Find that person who will fill that emptiness you are feeling. Don’t fall back into your old patterns. He might be sweet talking you now, sweetie, but he’ll go right back to ignoring you and working late. He only wants you back because he knows he doesn’t have you.”

“Geez, Em, you sure know how to dole out they blows, huh?” Rebecca took a big gulp of her wine. She tapped her fingers on her wine glass.

“I’m sorry! You know I love you like a sister. You and Tasha are my family. I have seen you slowly blossom since Jack left. I don’t want you to fall backward just because it’s easier and less scary then starting over. Call me crazy, but I feel that even you know you deserve better.”

“I don’t know how to explain it. I mean look outside, the three guys sitting there like they have for years. It’s not an easy thing to let go of.”

“It may seem that way now, but eventually you’ll have your special someone, and so will Tasha, god willing, the scene will change. Jack will eventually move on again, and Richard has Rochelle. Everything changes, but you, me, and Tasha…we never will. That’s your familiarity.”

“Seriously, Em, you should become a life coach or something.” Both friends laughed.

James walked into the kitchen with a sleeping Andrew on his shoulder.

“Hey ladies,” he looked at his beautiful wife. “I think we should think about going now. The little guy is out and Layla is finally asleep. I don’t think we should push our luck.”

Emily leaned on her tippy toes and kissed her husband on his lips.

“OK, darling. I’m ready,” she said to him.

Richard then entered the kitchen carrying his empty beer bottles. He placed them on the counter.

“I’m just going to say goodnight to Ashlee if that’s alright.” He leaned in and kissed Rebecca on her cheek. “I’ll check in with you guys tomorrow. If you’d like, Rochelle and I can take the girls this weekend. We’re going to Cape Cod and figured it would give you a little break.”

“That sounds great, Richard. I’m sure they’ll need some beach time by then, thanks,” Rebecca responded.

Richard walked out of the room and Rebecca noticed Jack out on the patio covering the grill and cleaning off the table. He came into the kitchen and she quickly returned to washing dishes. He moved behind her and leaned his head on her shoulder.

“Do you want me to hang out for a while? We could watch a movie, or…”

Rebecca turned around and realized that she probably shouldn’t have. He leaned in and kissed her. She put her hand on his chest and gently pushed him away.

“I don’t think that would be a good idea, Jack. I need some time to think about things. We’ve all been through a lot lately. I don’t want to make any rash decisions.”

His demeanor quickly changed.

“Why are your friends filling your head with how bad I am?”

“It’s not that, Jack. I am still hurt. I can’t shut that hurt off.”

He walked away from her and ran his fingers through his hair and then threw his hands up in the air.

“I get it. I screwed up. I just don’t believe in dwelling on past mistakes, I am here standing in front of you now. I want you Becky. I know I hadn’t acted like it, but I do. After everything…I was afraid to try to touch you. I was afraid you’d reject me because of what happened to Brian. It was never because I wasn’t attracted to you.”