Sweet Savage Heart (25 page)

As she made her way back, she was surprised to find Travis waiting for her in the shadows of a tall tree. She halted before him to view his expression and to learn what he wanted. He did not look angry, only tired and troubled. She observed the way his gaze slipped over her from her head to her bare feet and she watched his troubled look increase; suddenly she regretted dressing so prettily to catch his eye and to soften his anger.

When he did not speak, she eyed him quizzically. He seemed to be having difficulty finding words, or perhaps, she mused, only the right ones. Apprehension filled her.
He was so handsome and virile, and she longed to enjoy his lips and arms. At times such as this, he made her feel so unsure of herself, so vulnerable and helpless. His mere presence caused her body to warm strangely and to quiver. His look caused all thoughts to rush from her head except those of him, and it inspired her heart to beat as swiftly and forcefully as the drums during the Victory Dance. He even affected her breathing and the moisture in her mouth. As if that were not enough, he also made her legs go weak and refuse to move. No man had made her feel this way before, so weak and compliant. It was alarming, and yet very pleasant. Taking a deep breath, she looked into his eyes and waited.

“Lordy, woman, you’re not going to make this easy for me, are you?” he mumbled. “How do I explain myself without making you furious with me?” He half turned and pounded his fist on the tree, for he had never before explained himself to a woman.

Rana softly replied in fluent English,”Say what is in your heart, my…Travis. I do not wish to cause you such pain and trouble. It is not good for us to behave as fierce enemies. What does Rana do wrong? Are you sorry you chose me? Do you wish to send me away?”

Travis faced her and stared into that upturned face with its innocent, appealing expression. Damn women for having and using such potent wiles! he cursed silently, then said aloud, “So, you do remember English. I thought as much. You’re one clever and stubborn girl, Rana Michaels.”

“My people did not like to hear the white man’s tongue, so I did not speak it unless my brother asked it of me to question captives. Does it not please you that I can speak with you? Where we go, will you not wish me to keep the Oglala tongue a secret?”

“From now on, speak English. Why did you trick me?”

“Trick you? You did not ask if I could speak your
tongue, and you did not order me to speak it. Is it strange for a white girl to speak the white tongue? Did my brother not tell you?”

“No, he didn’t, and I was under the impression that you had forgotten it. You were captured as a small child and you’ve only heard Oglala for years. But I suspected you understood more than you let on. But that isn’t what I wanted to discuss,” he declared, changing the subject before he could become angered by her deceit. He had no right, he knew, for his duplicity was worse.

“Discuss?” she repeated the unfamiliar word, knowing he had a right to be angry with her for withholding her knowledge of English from him.

“Talk about,” he clarified. “These last few days we’ve… I’ve been acting badly. I wanted to tell you I’m sorry for being so mean and hard on you. I know this change in your life must be confusing and frightening, and I haven’t been making it any easier for you. I want you to undertand some things about me and our marriage,” Travis ventured, wanting to stay as close to the truth as possible. He had to get this particular matter straight between them, for both their sakes.

“I didn’t come here looking for a wife, and I’m a little confused about finding one. You know it’s the custom to choose something of great value in exchange for the guns and supplies I gave to your people. Since you were white and the war was heating up, I thought it would be a good idea to get you out of Indian territory. If what I heard was true, you were having problems in the camp. I had already asked for you in trade when they said I would have to marry you before you could leave with me. It would have been an insult to refuse to marry the sister of Chief Lone Wolf when I had been willing to trade for her. I’m not used to having a woman around, Rana, so you’ll have to give me time to get adjusted to the idea. If you weren’t so innocent and special, I could toss you on my
sleeping mat and think nothing about it. But you are special, Rana, and I don’t want to take advantage of a situation you were forced to accept. I promise you that Nate and I will do all we can to make you happy and safe. He likes you and feels drawn to you, Rana, so please be kind to him. His only daughter was killed years ago, and she looked a lot like you. That was her necklace he gave to you. For now, let’s just become friends and get to know each other. Will you try to be patient and understanding? Can we have a real truce?” he inquired earnestly.

“Do you have a wife waiting for you?” she queried anxiously, aware that warriors often took more than one mate and knowing she could never share a husband, especially this rare man standing before her.

“No. You see, Rana, we’re both white. We’ll be living on white lands, under white laws and customs. The Oglala laws and customs are not accepted, or even recognized, by the white man. Our marriage is binding only in Indian territory and under Indian law, but we’re not Indian and we won’t be living here. You’ll be like my sister. You’ll be free. Do you understand what I’m saying?” he asked nervously.

Consternation flooded her features. She moved a few steps away from him and drifted into deep thought. Finally she turned and looked at him. “We are not joined in your eyes? You do not want me?”

Travis responded carefully, “We’re not joined in the eyes and laws of the whites, and we’ll be living as whites. We must obey their laws and customs. That’s why it’s wrong for me to make love to you. I want you to be free and happy and safe, Rana.”

She realized that he had cleverly avoided her question. “You are half Indian, White Eagle. Is that half not joined to Wild Wind? Do the laws of Grandfather and your mother’s people mean nothing to you? Have you forgotten all you were and knew?”

“No, Rana, I haven’t forgotten. I love my people and believe in Grandfather. But I’ve chosen the white world and must live by its laws and ways. It troubled my spirit to join to you falsely, but I believed I was doing what was good for you. When war comes to your camp, no white girl will be safe there, from whites or Indians. I couldn’t let you be killed or placed on a reservation, or worse. In war, men are evil and fierce. And I couldn’t rescue you without following the wishes of your adopted people. You’re very beautiful and tempting, and it’s hard to remember you’re not my wife. Unless we’re married by white law, Rana, we can’t share a sleeping mat. You’re returning to the white world, so you must accept this. I can’t dishonor you or use you selfishly. You have the right to choose who and what you want.”

“Is there a woman you love in this land you call Texas? Is she why you hurry home and do not take Wild Wind as promised?”

He grinned at her jealous look and tone. “I have no wife, or a woman close to my heart. Come home peacefully with me, Rana. Let me… teach you to find your new destiny. I promise you this is how it should be. You will be able to come and go as you please. You’ll be free and happy with us. Don’t fight Grandfather’s will,” he urged.

Rana smiled, for now she understood his dilemma: he was being torn between two bloods and peoples. One law said they were not joined, and the other said they were. Was this the “truth” that had tortured him? she wondered, knowing there was a simple way to end his suffering, though it was too soon to mention it.
Oh, my love,
she thought dreamily,
you are far more Indian than you realize, and you do not wish me to be your sister!
She had wanted happiness and freedom once, but now she wanted Travis more. She had not wanted to marry and he had told her that according to white law they had not, yet
she had been extremely pleased by their joining. She had wanted desperately to be allowed to be herself, yet now all she wanted was to be his!

“I do not like battling you with words each day, Travis Kincade. I promised my people I would go with you, and I will keep my word of honor.” Words she had spoken to Black Hawk returned to haunt her and she repeated them hoarsely: “We are joined only in words, and false words can be broken. I will be your sister and friend. I will try to accept your ways and be happy in your lands. If it is not so by winter, you must promise to return me to my people. Do you agree?”

Travis sighed loudly in relief and smiled broadly, for he knew she would adjust. “That seems fair enough. It’s a deal, Miss Rana Michaels. Let’s go eat and get some sleep. I’m starving and exhausted,” he announced cheerfully, holding out his hand in invitation.

Rana glanced at it, laughed softly, and teased, “Do sisters and brothers touch in this tempting manner?”

“Maybe you’re right. No need to add fuel to a fire that should be left to smolder for now. Come along, sister. It’s late.”

As Rana followed Travis to camp, she boldly reflected,
The sun will set on your resistance sooner than you think, my love, because we are joined in the eyes
of Wakan Tanka
and in our own eyes…

As the two entered the small area where they were camping for the night, Nathan instantly detected the change between them. Both were smiling and appeared lighthearted. They looked comfortable side by side and a pleasant warmth seemed to surround them. Nathan relaxed, deciding all would be fine now. He listened intently as Travis hurriedly related the essentials of his talk with Rana. He was astonished to learn that his granddaughter could speak English, but unlike Travis, he
did not try to recall what he had said around her. He was too excited by the news.

Nathan smiled and laughed at the same time. Clasping Rana’s hand between his, he stated exuberantly, “I’m so glad we can talk, Rana. This is going to make things so much easier for all of us. I’ve got so much to tell you. You’re going home and—”

“Nate,” Travis called to him to halt his rapid and thoughtless flow of words, “we’ve got plenty of time to tell Rana about her new home. It’s late and we’re all tired. Now I understand why Rana kept quiet about speaking English; she didn’t want us to talk her ears off.”

Nathan caught the hint and tried to master his rampant emotions. He was pleased with the way Travis was handling the matter, letting the facts trickle out a few at a time to keep from drowning Rana in a river of truth. “Old men do have this tendency to babble, don’t they, son? Travis here doesn’t do much talking, but I do. I’m real proud of him, Rana. He takes good care of me and our lands. A man couldn’t ask for a better son or grandson,” he stated affectionately, unwittingly misleading Rana about their relationship.

“His eyes say he has much pride and love for you, Nate. It is good for families to be close to each other. I will be happy and honored to live in your home.”

“We’re the ones who are happy and honored to have you join our family, Rana,” Travis told her. “Now that we have a peaceful camp, why don’t we all get busy with supper? Rana, I was telling Nate that it looks like there’s going to be trouble in this area soon between Crazy Horse’s band and the soldiers at Fort Kearny. I would like to be long gone before they start battling each other again. Do you mind riding fast and hard for a few days?”

“I understand, Travis. I will ride fast and hard at your side.”

“Good,” he murmured, smiling at her.

The following morning, Travis, Rana, and Nathan were in high spirits and smiled frequently at each other as they hurriedly ate and packed to leave. As Travis had requested, the small group traveled quickly, taking only short rest breaks for the horses and themselves. At one point they all burst into laughter as a herd of deer bolted across their path and startled their horses as well as the deer.

His shiny eyes revealing his genuine happiness, Nathan shouted to Rana, “Wait until you see how many we have on our ranch.”

Rana had shouted back, “How big is your ranch?”

Nathan beamed with joy and pride as he replied, “A hundred and fifty thousand acres of prime grazing land. You’ll love it there.”

Rana instantly concluded that he was right. Excitement surged through her as the lovely scenery moved swiftly past, taking her further from the Dakota Territory and closer to Texas. Each time she glanced at the man riding to her right and slightly ahead of her, tremors of anticipation and desire assailed her. Today she felt at ease with these men; she began to believe that her new destiny held great things for her. Gone were her bitterness and anger; they had been replaced by joy and hope.

As the fast-paced journey continued, there was little conversation, for neither Rana nor Nathan wanted to distract Travis from his intense alertness. Nearing dusk, Travis rode ahead to scout the area he had selected for their camp. It was obvious to his companions that he remembered this area well, for he always seemed to know where to find water and lush grass for the animals.

As they gathered firewood and prepared their evening meal, Nathan described his ranch and home for Rana.
When he told her she would have her own room and could come and go as she pleased, Rana was amazed, for she had never known such privacy and freedom before. She was also astonished by the large amount of cattle and horses Nathan owned, for it was more than those owned by several tribes combined. She decided these men must be strong and clever to control so much land and to own so many animals. She could tell that both men had deep love and respect for their land, which caused her to feel a similar respect for their great skill and success.

Nathan told Rana about the neighboring ranchers and towns, explaining as he did so about raising cattle and horses and selling them. He related colorful tales about the history of Texas and his homesteading days, and finally he told her about his wife, Ruth, and a little about his daughter, Marissa.

“Marissa…,” she echoed the vaguely familiar name. “It is beautiful, soft like music or the spring rain. You miss her now that she lives with the Great Spirit. It is sad to lose those we love and need. My father, Soaring Hawk, lives with
Tunkansila.
He was a great warrior and chief. My brother, Lone Wolf, walks closely in his tracks.” She wanted to ask more questions about his daughter, but she sensed that the topic was painful to the old man, and to her, too, for some unknown reason.