Sweet Revenge (19 page)

'Did you never wonder why I should go to such lengths to keep you there,' he exclaimed, half angrily. 'Toni, damn you, look at me!'

Toni continued to look out of the window. 'You told me why you were keeping me there, remember? I didn't have to wonder about that!'

'And you believed that of me?'

She swung round. 'What do you mean - I believed that of you? Of course I believed it! You
meant
it!'

He drew on his cigarette deeply. 'If I had meant it, do you imagine you would still be—' He swore angrily. 'Toni - I wanted you, God, how I wanted you! Do you imagine I would have denied myself as I have done if I really thought you were so-so - well, experienced?'

Toni's legs turned to water. 'What - what do you mean? Oh, I don't understand all this.'

'No,' he agreed tautly, 'you do not!'

She bent her head. Her hair was fastened in the knot on top of her head and the nape of her neck was bare and appealing. With a muffled exclamation, he bent his head, his mouth seeking that gentle curve. 'Oh, God, Toni,' he groaned, 'what have you done to me!'

Toni looked up as he straightened, seeing the naked passion in his eyes, 'Raoul?' she murmured brokenly, 'you're not making sense!'

'Am I not?' he exclaimed roughly, stubbing out his cigarette with hands which were not quite steady. Toni had never seen him like this before. He had always been so calm and detached, except when he was making love to her, and even then she had had the feeling he was merely allowing his passions to take the place of genuine emotion. 'What do you want me to say?' he muttered. 'Surely it's painfully obvious what is wrong with me!'

Toni shook her head. She wanted to believe what her own emotions were telling her was the truth, yet she couldn't. Too much had happened. Too many mistakes had been made. How could anything good come out of this tangle?

Raoul caught her by the shoulders. 'All right, all right,' he said, forcing himself to speak rationally. 'You deserve some explanation, I know. But first, please, tell me I was not wrong: you do love me a little, don't you, Toni?'

Toni's mouth was dry. 'Why - why should I give you that satisfaction?' she asked unsteadily.

'Por deus!'
he muttered, pulling her savagely towards him. 'This is why!'

His mouth fastened on hers with violent passion, all his pent-up emotions destroying his natural reservations. He had kissed her before, but never with such feeling, his body trembling in her arms. His fingers tore the pins out of her hair so that it fell in silky glory about her shoulders, and he buried his face in its softness. 'You see how it is with me,' he said thickly. 'This is like nothing I have ever known before. I love you, I need you, I can't live without you! I've been half out of my mind these last weeks not knowing where you were, who you were with!'

Toni tried to be sensible. 'You - you've been looking for me?' she murmured tentatively.

'Searching for you,' he amended grimly, drawing back to look at her. 'As I have been searching since the day you left!'

'But why? Why? Why couldn't you just let me go? You have Laura—'

'Do not mention Laura's name to me!' he said coldly. 'We have discovered we have nothing in common!' She sensed the hauteur in his voice, and shivered a little. 'She spoke to you, did she not, the day you left Estrada?'

Toni nodded her head.

'Louisa revealed that she had paid you a visit. It was strange that she should leave before my mother and Francesca returned. I have seen Laura and have had the truth from her!'

For a moment, Toni pitied Laura. She had believed she had so much, yet she had nothing.

'How - how did you find me?' she asked.

He looked at her, his dark eyes savage. 'In a moment. First, I must explain a few things. I must begin that day in Lisbon, when I almost knocked you down with my car. I was so angry with you, and you were so - well, different from the women of my acquaintance. I was attracted to you, and I half believed you were attracted to me!' He drew out his cigarettes and lit one before continuing. 'You may not believe this, but the following day I went to your hotel to inquire about you. When I discovered you had gone, I was furiously angry with myself for not attempting to see you earlier.' His eyes narrowed. 'The owner told me your name was Senhorita Morley, Senhorita Antonia Morley!'

'Then you knew—'

'Right from the beginning! When I found you at Estrada posing as Paul's fiancee, I was incensed. I had thought you - well, above that kind of escapade. Then when Laura told me she had seen you at the de Calles' I was even more curious.'

'Was that why - you went to Lisbon?'

'Yes. Only to come back and find you ill, after the accident! You cannot conceive my feelings at that time. I wanted to hurt you, badly, not only for deceiving me, but for proving to be - or so I thought - the kind of woman to play around with a man like Miguel de Calle!'

'But that was never true!' exclaimed Toni desperately.

'I know that now. But I will come to that later. At that time I was only concerned with the facts, as I saw them, and they added up to a pretty miserable picture. It was then, when I saw you lying there, so helpless and alone, that I realized my feelings for you were more than mere desire for your body!' Toni's checks burned. 'So I decided to teach you a lesson, and in the process discover for myself whether you were as black as you had been painted! I knew when I touched you you were not indifferent to me, and maybe some inner sense warned me you could not be the woman I thought you. In any event, I had to keep you at the
castelo,
to see you, to speak with you, to spend time with you. If, by threatening you with the kind of relationship you were afraid of I could punish you, I was human enough to do so. I had been hurt, and this was a new experience for me.'

'So you made me Francesca's governess.'

He half-smiled. 'An inspiration, believe me.'

'And Paul?'

The smile disappeared. 'Laura told you about Elise?'

'Yes.'

'Then you will understand my feelings towards Paul. Elise and I were not lovers, in the truest sense of the word, we were friends who lived together. It was for Francesca that I fought for our marriage.' He shrugged. 'Paul was not serious, I could see that, but Elise would not believe me.' He sighed. 'But that is in the past now. What matters is our future, Toni!' He stubbed out the cigarette. 'I used Paul, I admit it, to keep you at Estrada, but only because I was afraid you might leave me, despite your real feelings. You - you do love me, Toni?'

Toni ran her tongue over her dry lips. 'Yes, I love you,' she said tightly. 'But I'll never live with you!'

Even in the gloom, she could see the haggard expression her words brought to his face.
'Deus,'
he muttered, 'why? Toni, why?'

'I - I'm only human, too,' she whispered. 'I want a home, a real home with a real relationship. Children!'

'And these are things I cannot offer you? Is that it?'

'Well, can you?' Toni stared at him.

'Of fidurse. If the
castelo
does not appeal to you, we can live in Lisbon—'

'Raoul, don't, don't!' She put her hands over her ears.

He looked horrified. 'Is marriage to me so repugnant?' he groaned. 'Does this scar repulse you? Even though you attempt to deny it?'

She could not believe her ears.
'Marriage!'
she breathed. 'You're talking about -
marriage!'

'What else?' His expression cleared. 'My God, Toni, I really believe you thought I meant something else!'

'I did - I did.' Toni felt the tears rolling down her cheeks.

'You are mad! Quite mad!' he muttered shakily, and pulled her close to him. 'But I deserve it. Forgive me, forgive me!'

She wound her arms round his neck, clinging to him helplessly, until he said a trifle thickly: 'Toni, I am only a man, and I want you very badly. Don't make it impossible for me to let you go!'

Toni flushed, but it was a warm tender flush of colour that lit her face to even greater beauty. 'Oh, Raoul,' she said, 'I adore you, and I'll marry you, whenever you say.'

'Soon, it must be soon,' he murmured caressingly. 'I need a holiday, and we will take it together, hmm?'

'Oh, yes, yes. But how did you find me?' She wanted to know every detail now. She almost laughed when she remembered how nervously she had awaited his revenge, but such sweet revenge.

He lay back in his seat. 'When Francesca found the note she telephoned me at once. Unfortunately I was not in the office, and it was not until the following day that I heard you had gone. Had she been able to find me that day I should have been able to intercept you at the airport. As it was, I merely had confirmation from the flight office that you had left the night before. I took an immediate flight to London, obtaining your address from the de Calles. That was when I challenged Miguel again about his association with you. We were alone, and he actually boasted a little of his conquest.' He uttered a savage expletive. 'He did not boast for long. I could not keep my hands off him.'

Toni pressed closer to him. 'Go on!'

'In London your landlady told me you had acted very strangely because she had let her daughter have your room. After that, I was sunk. So it became a marathon of walking from agency to agency, trying to find you. Paul had no idea where you were, and it was not until today that I found the agency which had supplied the Masons as your employers. I drove straight to the apartment, as you will have guessed. Mrs. Mason was very polite and understanding, although I do not really think she believed that I was a count. I must have seemed very angry and distraught, as indeed I was!' He sighed. 'Even now, I cannot believe the waiting is all over. Don't ever do that to me again, Toni. I do not think I could stand it again!'

Toni reached up to kiss his cheek. 'And Francesca, what will she say?'

He half-smiled. 'Francesca can be in no doubt as to the extent of my feelings for you,' he said, caressing her cheek with his tanned fingers. 'I was like a man possessed when I visited Estrada a week ago to find out whether they had had any word of you.'

'Will she mind?' Toni was persistent.

'I do not think so. She has been a lonely child. It will be as well when she has brothers and sisters to care for!'

Toni's smile dimpled her cheeks. 'It sounds wonderful,' she murmured.

'It will be,' he promised her, as he started the car, and Toni was glad to leave everything to him.