Sweet Prairie Passion (Savage Destiny) (12 page)

Out there upon the hill.

The mornin’ sun’s a-comin’ up,

And dawn is bright and still.

“I’ve lived on this here mountain

Since I was freshly born.

And there ain’t nothin’ nicer

Than a misty mountain morn.

“Lord, I know heaven’s pretty,

And death I do not fear.

But I hope that heaven’s mornin’s

Are like the ones down here.

“I’ve lived on this here mountain

Since I was freshly born.

And there ain’t nothin’ nicer

Than a misty mountain morn.”

Abbie and Mrs. Hanes actually got tears in their eyes, and even Yolanda Brown was touched. Most of the people in the train were beginning to miss home badly, and all wondered if the prairies would ever end.

“What are the Rocky Mountains like, Zeke?” Mrs. Hanes asked, dabbing at her eyes. “Are they as nice as the mountains in Tennessee and Kentucky?”

Zeke looked up at her with his dark eyes, and everyone was so quiet Abbie thought they’d hear the sagebrush growing.

“There’s nothing like them, ma’am. You’ve not seen mountains until you’ve seen what’s waiting out there for you. I know it seems like the prairie will never end, but it will. All of a sudden you’ll see them way out in the distance, looming up to the clouds stark and gray on the horizon, jagged peaks cut out sharply against the blue sky and reaching up to the heavens like church spires.” He closed his eyes. “They’re high.
Higher than anything you’ve ever seen before. Ten thousand, thirteen thousand, fifteen thousand feet high … With snow on top that never melts because it never gets warm enough to melt … so high nothing will grow there. Pure rock, they are—gray and purple and red. Always the same, yet always changing. I see a lot of change ahead for this country—some good, mostly bad, especially for the Indian. A hundred years from now the red man will be about gone, and most of the country won’t be anything like it is now. Man will destroy it. All except the mountains. They’ll be the same forever. They’ll last through everything, even to the day when this world comes to an end, which it will. Man will see to that somehow. But them mountains, they’ll still be there—silent, strong, immovable. Always and forever, there will be the Rockies and the Sierras … there’ll be the Guadalupes, the Santiagos, the White Mountains, the Wind River Range, and the Tetons. They’ll never die, not like people.”

He opened his eyes, and they were full of pain. Everyone had listened like little children. Zeke had a way of putting people under his spell, and now no one said a word. The next thing they knew, Zeke was singing again, his voice strained and kind of far away, as though he wasn’t really there. He strummed the mandolin softly and sang:

“My lady, she waits at the old oak tree.

Her hair long and soft, she waits there for me.

She’s got lips red as roses, and her kisses are free.

Yes, my lady, she waits there for me.

“I can see her there still, at the old oak tree.

Her eyes full of love. Yes, sweet love, just for me.

Her skin soft as velvet, what an angel is she!

Yes, my lady, she waits there for me.”

He strummed quietly, unable to go on right away, and Abbie’s heart ached for him, for all the sadness and loneliness she knew lay behind his dark face and flashing eyes that seemed close to tears.

“But I find that I’m dreamin, when I get to that tree.

’Cause my lady is gone; from this life she did flee.

She’s way up in heaven, leavin’ poor, lonely me.

And now that is where she’s waitin’ for me.

Up in heaven is where she’s waitin’ for me.

“But I see her there still, at the old oak tree.

Her eyes full of love, yes, sweet love, just for me.

Her skin soft as velvet, what an angel is she!

Yes, my lady, she waits—”

He suddenly stopped playing and blinked, then set down the mandolin and stood up. “Excuse me,” he said in a broken voice before he walked off into the darkness, and everyone looked confused until Olin stepped forward, smiled, and tried to liven up the party again.

“Okay, everybody, just keep on celebratin’ like you was doin’. Zeke’s just feelin’ a little sad from too much whiskey, but he’d want you to have a good time on account of little Mary bein’ okay, so let’s get to it!”

Trent saw that Olin was right. Starting up a fast tune on his fiddle, he was soon joined by David, and they all seemed to come out of the spell under which
Zeke had held them.

Abbie stared out into the darkness where Zeke had walked, her young heart crying out for him. She knew he felt extra lonely that night. He was a man torn by the loss of his loved ones, and torn between two worlds, belonging to neither. She started after him, but Olin grabbed her arm.

“Don’t you be goin’ out there!” he whispered. “Not tonight! You stay away from him tonight!”

Abbie jerked away. “I’m
going!
” she replied determinedly. “And nobody is going to stop me!” She was in tears by then, and she ran off into the darkness. Olin let her go, not wanting to make a scene that would cause harmful talk about Abbie. He shook his head dejectedly.

Five

“Zeke?” Abbie could see his outline in the distance, a tall, dark shadow in the moonlight. She boldly approached him, not caring if it was right to be there, only caring that he’d left the dancing and singing with some terrible memory weighing on his mind. He said nothing when she came closer, and she swallowed, not sure what to say or do and now needing an excuse for being there. “I’m … sorry … about your wife,” she spoke up. “I wish there was something I could—”

“What are you doing out here?” he asked in a gruff whisper.

“I… I didn’t want you to feel so … alone,” she replied.

He stepped closer, and her heart pounded with fright and desire when he suddenly reached out and grasped her hair tightly in his hands, working it through his fingers and breathing hard. She could smell whiskey on his breath, but she stood fast and refused to scream or run.

“Her name was… Ellen,” he told her softly, still
grasping her hair. She could feel him trembling, and her own heart pounded so hard she was sure he could tell.

“That’s a pretty name,” she replied.

He moved his hands to the sides of her face. “So is Abigail,” he whispered. He moved his hands to her shoulders. “You shouldn’t be out here. How many times does somebody have to tell you something?” He put one hand to the back of her head and grasped her hair again, boldly moving his other hand down over her breast. “Maybe you ought to remind yourself that I’m half savage!” he hissed.

Abbie swallowed.

“You’re a liar,” she said calmly. “Maybe in a fight you can be a savage, but not with a woman, and especially not with a half-grown woman who’s never been with a man. If you think you’re scaring me, Cheyenne Zeke, it isn’t working. You can stand here and strip me and throw me down if you want, but I wouldn’t be afraid, because I don’t really think you want to do something that would make me hate you. The trouble is, I couldn’t hate you anyway.” She blinked back tears. “Even if you used all that strength against me like you’re thinking in the back of your mind, I couldn’t hate you. I came out here with good intentions, out of my concern for you. But if you want to violate me, then you go ahead! But I won’t scream, because I’m not going to be the cause of those people in camp hanging you! I care about you too much, and I think you care about
me!
”

He moved his other hand back to her hair, grasping it so tightly this time that it hurt.

“Damn you!
Damn
you!” he whispered. “I’ve got
no use for you, Abigail Trent, understand? No
use,
except to maybe take advantage of your youthful stupidity in thinking I care about you! I ought to do just what you said—throw you down and get my piece of you and break you in like you’re asking for by coming out here alone! I expect you’d feel right good to a man, being a virgin and all! Yes, ma’am, right good!”

She stood there stiffly, afraid and angry and in love all at the same time.

“But it wouldn’t mean
anything!
” he added. “You’re
nothing
to me! When are you going to understand that? I try to keep away from you. All these weeks we’ve been on the trail we’ve hardly spoken. And do you know why? Because I’m sick and tired of you looking all moon-eyed at me every time I’m around! You hear? Sick of it! You’re just a stupid kid with big dreams about a man you don’t know anything about—a man who takes his pleasures with
women,
not wet-eyed little
girls!
” He gave her a push. “Get on back to your wagon!”

Abbie clenched her fists, forcing herself not to cry. “I don’t believe anything you say!” she told him flatly. “You’re making it up! Why is it so important for you to hurt me? You don’t mean it! I
know
you don’t!”

He grasped her arms and shook her. “Hurting you this way is a whole lot better than seeing you get hurt like you would if you were Cheyenne Zeke’s woman! I’ve
seen
that kind of hurt, Abbie! In the worst way! Terrible! Ugly and terrible! You don’t understand how some people think about Indians—and about half-breeds even worse!”

“I’m strong, Zeke! I can take a lot! You even said
that yourself when you were talking about the stones. And it was
you
standing next to me in that vision, wasn’t it? It was
you,
and that’s what you’re fighting now. We’re
meant
to be together!”

He grasped her face tightly between his hands, squeezing it and speaking in a low hiss. “No! It was
not
me! You get those ideas out of your head!”

“I know I’m right!” she answered stubbornly. “You say this kind of hurt is better than the kind of hurt I’d suffer if I was your woman! But I’m telling you right now that this kind of hurt—not being able to hope you’ll even
think
of me as a woman, not being able to … to love you—is a hundred times
worse
than any harm that could come to me from being your woman!”

“You don’t know the first thing about what you’re saying!”

“Don’t I? Then why don’t you explain it to me?” She grasped his powerful wrists with her hands. “Help me understand what it is about your past that makes you shun me just because I look like your wife!” Her tears started to come then. “Help me understand!”

Some of the anger left his eyes, and his grip on her lightened. “No,” he whispered. His face was so close to hers that her whole body felt on fire. “If I told you everything, you’d just feel sorry for me, because that’s how that little heart of yours works. It would just make your silly feelings even stronger. It’s best you don’t know it all. And it’s best you hitch up with some nice young man and live a normal life. You’re too pretty and too sweet for insults and abuse—just like Ellen was. I thought once, when I was younger, that I could make it work, but I can’t. That’s why I live with
the Cheyenne now.”

“But
I
could live with the Cheyenne … by your side!” she replied hopefully. He snickered scornfully.

“Don’t be a fool!” he groaned.

“But I could! I wouldn’t mind!”

He stared at her quietly, his eyes glittering in the moonlight. She could see the outline of his mouth, its lips tempting, not too wide or too narrow, sharply outlined against his handsome face.

“You could never live that way,” he said softly. “You weren’t born to it.”

“I can learn! I’m strong!”

“Abbie, Abbie!” he moaned. “Your youth makes you think you can do anything.”

“I
can!
For you, I can! I
love
you, Cheyenne Zeke! Surely you know that! All these weeks I’ve been watching you, loving you more all the time.” Tears streamed down her face now. “I love you.”

He closed his eyes and sighed. “Don’t say that, Abbie.”

“But it’s true! Your keeping yourself from me hurts much more than anything else could! And—”

Her words were cut off when he suddenly pressed his mouth to hers, and for the rest of her life she would not forget that first kiss, not from a boy, but from a man. He groaned and forced her lips apart, and her body burned with strange new feelings she did not totally understand. He pulled her tight against him, and she let him, loving the feeling of her breasts pressed against his broad, strong chest. She could feel his hardness through her skirts and her body melted against his. For the next few seconds she was lost in him, under his control, returning the kiss as best she
could for all her innocence, glorying in the fact that Cheyenne Zeke wanted her.

His lips left her mouth and moved across her cheek to her neck, and he held her close. It was then she felt a wetness on her neck, and she knew it was his tears.