Sweet Obsession (2 page)

I did not do anything wrong. How dare he put me in this awful position!

I raised my hand and quickly slapped him hard across his face. It was a gut instinct. I did not even think about what I was doing. It just happened, and I immediately regretted my actions.

It caught him off guard. So much anger flickered in his eyes. Without thinking, I raised my hand to slap him again, and this time, he caught my arm in midair. Then he grabbed my other arm, and I thought he was going to push me to the floor, but he just held me with his strong arms as he stared deep into my soul, angry as could be. Then he brought his lips down to mine and kissed me.

At first, it was a hard, brutal kiss as his lips crashed down on mine. Then slowly, without warning, it turned into a sweet, slow, passionate kiss. He pulled me close to him and kissed me so sensually and so lovingly that I melted against him. I lost all sense of what was happening and collapsed in his arms. His hands slid down the arch of my back, pulling me closer to him. I could feel his manhood press against me, and I melted in sweet ecstasy in his arms.

I was completely in love with him, and at this moment, if he had asked me to carve out my heart and hand it to him on a silver platter, I would have done just that. I knew I could not live without him. He was my life now, as I was his.

Our bodies fit together as if God created us to become one. The closer he pulled me to his body, the heavier he breathed. I could feel his heart beating so fast that it felt like my own. This was the time, so perfect a time to tell him how I felt. My lips went close to his ear, and I whisphered softly, “I love you.”

His body stiffened, and he softly pushed me away from him. Confused, I looked up to his face and saw that his eyes were closed. I tried pushing my body up against his, but his hands blocked me from getting too close to him. Suddenly, his hands let go of me, and his arms dropped to his sides. He walked away from me.

I stared after him in disbelief. Nidal walked quickly into the bathroom and slammed the door shut. A million unanswered questions came to my mind. I felt faint. I put my hands up against the wall to support my body and tried to calm my beating heart before it burst from pain. I could still feel his burning lips on mine and his hands on my body. Imprints of his lovemaking were marked on my skin, proving to me that I was not dreaming. This was real. My blood was still in heat, my hands were shaking, and my heart was breaking.

What did I say that made him upset? Did he not want me to love him? Was he still mad at me for accepting a kiss from his cousin? How dare he drag me here, start making love to me, and then push me away like that! He never once considered my feelings! Today was all about him! He is conceited! Does he ever stop to even wonder how I am feeling? How I am hurting?

Fuming, I walked over to the bathroom and swung open the door. He had some explaining to do, but as I looked in the bathroom, Nidal was standing with his back turned to me, just staring at the wall.

“Nidal … Nidal … Nidal.”

He ignored me.

I stepped a few feet closer to him and whispered, “Nidal.”

Nidal turned around slowly, and his face looked tormented.

“Explain yourself,” I said.

He walked up to me in two strides and grabbed me by the shoulders. “Why did you lie to me?”

How ironic! After begging me for months to love him, when I finally feel the love he always craved, I tell him, and he has trouble believing me. He has no reason to doubt me. My heart belongs to him and him alone.

He was staring deep into my eyes. I knew he was waiting for an answer. Slowly, the tears in his eyes rolled down his beautiful face.

I looked up at him and whispered, “I love you.”

He pulled back and, in a voice that sounded full of anguish, told me, “Do not lie to me. Tell me the truth.”

I looked into his tormented, blue eyes and said softly, “I love you, Nidal.” And I wiped the tears from his face. “I remember a day not too long ago when you told me that you could not live without me. I understand now what that means, for I too cannot live without you, Nidal.” I told him, praying that he would believe that I speak the truth.

Finally, I saw the muscles on his face relax. He took me into his arms and kissed me tenderly. I tasted the salty tears that rolled down his face and onto his lips. I pushed my body onto his, letting him know that I also wanted him as much as he wanted me.

My prince lifted me up in his arms and walked over to the bed, where he gently dropped me on the mattress, and then he lay down next to me and took me in his arms again. We lay there, just staring into each other’s eyes. Both of us had tears that threatened to spill over a river and drown us with love.

I understand now. It is simple. My prince wants to be sure of my love for him before he gives himself to me.

We stayed up all night talking. He had a million questions he wanted to ask me, and I also wanted some questions answered. I wanted to know every thought that occupied his mind. I thought I knew him well, but I was wrong.
I would spend the rest of my life, if I had to, to find out everything that lies in his heart.

I desperately need to hear from his mouth that he desires me as much as I desire him. “Nidal, if you love me as much as you claim you do, then why do you hesitate to make love to me? Is there something wrong with the way I look? Am I not woman enough for you?” I asked, and I pulled away from him and looked up into his handsome face.

Nidal’s eyes blazed with passion as he pulled me back into his embrace. “You think I don’t desire you?” he asked hoarsely, as he pushed his body on mine. I felt his huge manhood piercing my thigh and electricity shot throughout my entire body. “Loula,” he whispered, and he closed his eyes. I held my breath as I waited for him to speak. When Nidal opened his eyes, his hold tightened, and he sighed. “I want nothing more then to make love to you, but I will not, because I do not think it is the right time yet. I need to be 100 percent sure that you are ready for me.” He said softly.

“You think I am not ready? I have never been more ready in my whole entire life then I am at this very moment, Nidal.” I said, hopeful that he would believe me.

Nidal searched in my eyes for the truth. A few seconds later, he sighed, and said, “You are not ready, Loula. I have waited for you for too many years to act on lust alone. I need more from you and I can tell you are not ready yet. After waiting for you all my life, Loula, one more day won’t kill me, but not waiting and rushing things will.” He stopped for a brief second so I could comprehend what he was telling me.
I cannot believe I wasted all these years living without him, meeting all the wrong people, and not once thinking of this beautiful soul.

Nidal’s beautiful face inched closer to mine. I can feel his breath on my face. I am dizzy with want for him. I need him badly. Does he not realize this?

“I can tell you do not understand my explanation, Loula, which only proves to me that I am right. You are not ready for me. I have waited for you practically my entire life. I could not erase your image from my mind. I could not even kiss another without feeling as if I had betrayed you. I need for you to understand my feelings for you. It is very important to me that when I make love to you, your feelings will be as mine are for you. I will accept nothing less,” he said passionately.

Wow! Unbelievable. Who loves like that? So many women are in this country, beautiful women who would die just to spend one single night with my prince, and he chose me. I can’t even comprehend it. It is above and beyond human nature. How can a beautiful man like this remain a virgin for all these years, waiting for me?

“Nidal, if you love me as strongly as you say that you do, then how can you keep yourself from making love to me? Do you not feel an urge to have sex?” I asked.

“It is not without great difficulty that I refrain from making love to you, Loula.” Nidal lowered his eyes and sighed. “I have mastered my thoughts and feelings, and know how to handle the situation when need be.”

“Then please tell me how you are able to do that, so I too can do the same, because I am suffering from need for you and know not what to do,” I said.

“I masturbate, Loula,” he whispered, and his eyes were blazing with fire as he looked at me.

Fire shot throughout my entire body as I struggled to lay still. With trembling hands I cupped his beautiful face and said, “Nidal, all these years, why have you not taken to your bed a woman to fulfill your sexual desires?” and as soon as I said those words, jealousy consumed me and my heart twisted with pain.

“Would you prefer I do that next time, Loula?” he asked me, with a hint of a smile on his face as he waited for a response. His words were like a knife in my heart and I tried to wiggle out of his embrace, but he tightened his hold on me and threw his leg over my body and I was trapped. Not knowing what to do and feeling frustrated, I started to cry.

“Don’t cry, Loula. I do not have any desire to sleep with any other woman besides you. I have never betrayed you and I never will,” he said, his voice husky with passion, as he placed butterfly kisses across my face and down my neck.

I tried to understand his feelings for me.
Why would he do this for me? Who am I? I am not unique. Why does he insist on having me when he can choose any other woman in the world?

I looked deep into his eyes for answers. The eyes are the windows of one’s soul. He was not the only one with trust issues. I also couldn’t believe all this, but all I saw in his eyes was love, adoration, and complete and total submission.

I felt his shaft swollen against my thigh. Every fiber in my body came to life. I was aching for him to take me and make me his. I needed Nidal to claim what belonged to him. My body was on fire, and it was desperately thirsty for his touch, but I knew that tonight was not the night.

I closed my eyes and pretended to sleep. He pulled me closer, and I could feel his hold on me relax. I could not understand how he was able to tame his body to lie next to mine with such ease when my body was aching to be touched by him. Thankfully, sometime in the peaceful night, I fell asleep.

In the morning, the sun splashed its bright light across the room. The window was slightly open, and a delicate, warm breeze softly teased my skin. I could hear the birds chirping cheerfully outside and the horses snorting and chasing each other while the people of Arabia went about their daily business.

I opened my eyes and saw my prince resting his head on his elbow, looking down at me tenderly. I wanted him so desperately that I slipped my fingers through his hair and pulled his head, bringing his lips down to mine.

Without warning, lust unleashed itself inside my entire body as heat exploded furiously, bursting with fire, and consumed all my senses. Nidal lifted my nightgown up over my breast, and his eyes burned with desire as they drifted over my breast and down my belly. He made a strangled sound as his hands glided up my thigh. Skillfully, his fingers worked their magic, sending electric shock waves throughout my entire body.

He scattered scorching kisses over my breast, and I trembled in his arms. My hands traced the outline of his body and found his enlarged bulge that was pressing against my thigh. I slipped my hand inside his undergarment and grabbed it. Immediately, Nidal froze, and in that instant, my world came crashing down.

Embarrassed once again, I looked up at him, questioning his behavior. In answer, he gently pushed me away and quickly jumped out of bed. I looked hungrily at his tall, lean body. Nidal walked slowly to the chair in the corner where his shirt lay, grabbed it, and put it on. With trembling hands, he struggled to button his shirt. His accusing gaze never once left my sight. His huge muscles threatened to rip the very shirt he wore as he bent over and grabbed his pantaloons from the floor.

Embarrassed out of my mind, I quickly threw the covers over my head to hide in the dark, and I tugged my nightgown all the way down to hide my shameless body. Maybe we could ignore what just happened for the sake of my sanity, but my body betrayed me. It was aroused and still shaking from the aftermath. These sexual feelings were new to me, and I knew not how to turn them off.

I peeked outside the covers just as my prince was finished dressing, and he smiled down at me wickedly. The look on his face said, “I’m going to make you pay for all the years I waited for you.” I could tell that he knew what I was feeling, and he was going to let me suffer. That was not fair. He needed me to give him a taste of his own medicine. I threw back the covers, but not before I untied the lace from the nightgown that I was wearing. My left breast escaped playfully outside my gown, teasing the eyes of my prince, who just stood there frozen in time, staring at me. His smile now disappeared as lust took over. He looked like a wolf licking his chops. My right breast was exposed in the direct view of the sunlight, and I took my time getting out of bed, pretending I had no idea what was happening.

From the corner of my eyes, I could see cold sweat on my prince’s forehead as he swallowed hard. And I looked down and saw his bulge ready to burst the seams of his pantaloons.
Good! Let him suffer too. He deserves it!