Sweet Nothing (32 page)

Fall was my favorite time of year, and this fall was going to be the best yet. The sweltering heat had let up enough for Avery to once again drown in my oversize hoodie. I loved the look of her bare legs under my sweatshirt when she woke in the morning to make coffee. Unfortunately, our schedules had shifted again, and I was working mostly nights.

Dax yelped as I wrapped the towel around my waist, shaking my head at how short it was. I would have to get some more of those oversize ones Mrs. Cipriani had given us as a wedding present. Avery used the only two we had and left the tiny ones for me.

“Do you see this?” I pointed to the small pile of towels in the corner as Dax’s tail began to whip harder. “I am not married to you. You can’t tell me what to do.” I padded my way to our bedroom, leaving wet footprints in my path. Grabbing a pair of basketball shorts from the clean laundry basket, I tugged them up over my hips, rolling my neck to the side and closing my eyes as it popped loudly.

“Let’s go.” I followed him from the bedroom, grabbing his leash from the counter and clipping it to his collar before leading him downstairs.

Our newest neighbor was shoving her key in the lock to her apartment, a baby car seat in the other hand and the straps of her wristlet purse between her teeth. She’d only moved into the apartment below us a few weeks before, and her colicky son’s room was directly below our bedroom.

“Let me help you with that,” I said, hurrying to her side. I took the seat handle from her hand, smiling down at the chubby baby inside.

“Thank you.” She batted her faded pink hair from her face and let out a loud, exasperated sigh as her key finally found its way into the lock. She shoved the door open with her shoulder and stepped out of the way so I could enter.

Her place was laid out exactly like mine and Avery’s, but with baby furniture and paraphernalia. It looked like a Babies “R” Us had exploded.

Hope called over her shoulder as she put her purse on the kitchen island. “Thank you so much, Josh. You can just set him down next to his playpen, if you don’t mind.”

I set the carrier on the floor and began to unbuckle the little boy. “How you liking this place?” I asked, smiling down at him.

“It’s a quiet neighborhood.” She laughed. “Well, I guess I’m the loudest one around here. Sorry about that. Toby doesn’t sleep through the night yet.”

“No worries.” I pulled the boy from the seat and stood with him in my arms.

Hope watched me.

“Oh,” I said. “I hope this is okay.”

She smiled. “He likes you.”

I bounced him a bit. I had no clue whether that was the right thing to do or not, but it felt right. “It’s good practice. We hope to be adding a baby to our family soon, too.”

“Oh,” she said, surprised.

“What?” I paced the floor with Toby, bouncing slightly.

“Oh, nothing. I just thought you guys were a casual thing. I don’t see her around much and she’s always running out in the morning.” Her cheeks darkened, embarrassed by how much she knew.

“She works days and I have the night shift at the moment. But Avery’s definitely not casual. She’s my wife.”

“
Wife?
Congrats.”

“I know. She’s way out of my league,” I said.

“Don’t sell yourself short.” Crossing the room, Hope pulled Toby from my arms. “I just meant you look too young to be married.”

“Ah … well, when you know, you know.”

“Yeah … I mean, I guess.” Hope set her son in his swing and turned it on. It swayed and chimed a nursery rhyme tune while Toby became mesmerized by the lights. “Best invention ever.” She turned to me. “You know, Josh … I thought I knew once, too. Believe me, it was never my plan to be raising this little man on my own.”

Dax pawed at my leg, anxious to continue downstairs. “All right, furball. Let’s get you to the grass.”

“Thanks, Josh. You’re my favorite neighbor.” Hope stood and held the door open for me.

“Anytime. If you guys every need anything … we’re just upstairs.”

“I just might take you up on that.” She called to me as I left her apartment.

The morning chill was beginning to subside as Dax wandered down the narrow walkway between apartment buildings to the small yard in the back. My thoughts went to Avery and the possibility of us having a child of our own. We’d need a place, something bigger with a yard where he could run, and big enough for a tree that could hold a swing. The oak in the center of the yard offered the only shade on the property.

I wasn’t certain the landlord would allow us to hang anything from the branches like the old plank swing my father had hung out back for us …
us
. My gut twisted and I shook away the sad memory of my sister.

My father had always tried his best to make our childhood perfect. All the hours we’d spent tearing down and rebuilding motors wasn’t to line our pockets, but to heal our souls. Still, it kept us afloat, and it was something I was good at. I blinked.
Something I can easily do now and be able to spend more time with my wife.

Reaching up, I pulled a scrap of bark from the old tree. We’d need a home of our own, one with a large yard and not just
a
tree,
lots
of trees. I could already see Avery outside, soaking up the sunshine and working on her garden as our children ran around her, playing.

It sounded like Heaven. “Josh?” Hope called from the strip of grass between the apartment buildings. A plastic ivory box was in her hand, an antennae sticking out the top.

“Yeah?” I asked, dividing my attention between her and Dax.

“Toby is sleeping. I was wondering if you’d like to come in for a glass of wine, or a beer … or formula, if that’s your thing.” She giggled quietly.

Hope was an attractive woman. Before the accident, I would have led Hope to my apartment and had her flat on her back the first night she moved in. But now, I could look at her, notice she was attractive, but not feel attracted to her. It was weird, and just one more thing that assured me how in love I was with Avery.

“I can’t,” I said. “Thanks for the invite.”

Hope nodded, smiling to me before turning around. She stopped, trying one more time. “I don’t know a lot of people here. It would be nice to make a friend.”

I thought about her words. I was once the transplant, too. I knew how she felt, and loneliness was definitely not a good thing for a single mother.

“I’ll talk to Avery. Maybe we can stop by this weekend?”

Hope laughed once and looked down. “Yeah, I’ve got to work this weekend, but another time. What’s your schedule like?”

“I work nights, Tuesday through Saturday. For now.”

“And Avery works days?”

I nodded, tugging on Dax when he pulled against his leash. “Mostly.”

Hope nodded again. “See you later.”

I waved at her, turning to Dax, who was bent in a C, creating a smelly mess I was going to have to clean up.

I rolled my eyes. “Maybe Hope will let me borrow some diapers.”

I’d slept away the afternoon, hoping to be awake when Avery finally finished her shift. Four and a half hours wasn’t nearly enough. Seeing each other outside of work was becoming impossible.

I scratched my head and crawled out of bed, pulling on my gray sweatpants. Avery would be home in twenty minutes. I couldn’t shake the excitement of owning a home, watching Avery pick out where we would raise our children.

I picked up my phone, dialing Dad’s number. We chatted for two hours before deciding that selling my Barracuda could possibly net me enough for a down payment on a home. We’d have to move farther out of Philadelphia, into the suburbs, but it was doable. I fantasized about a big garage. I would need a vehicle with four doors once we started to expand our family anyway.

I wasn’t sure what Avery would think about me restoring cars for some extra money, and maybe, if all went well, I could turn it into a business and a full-time career. It was a gamble, but if we were patient and did things right, we would get to spend more time together, and later, with our children.

I padded into the kitchen, pulling ingredients for fettuccini Alfredo, Avery’s favorite.

It was a full moon, and Quinn had said Deb was complaining about back-to-back multi-car accidents. Avery would be exhausted. Adding the stress of waiting for her test results would be too much for her.

I set our table with the nice dishes with the swirly patterns and flowery shit the nurses had gotten us for a wedding gift. I smiled at myself. Avery was going to love it. Just as the Dodge rumbled outside, I finished stringing up a few white Christmas lights for ambience, a subtle reminder of the day I’d made her my wife. Part of me hoped the occasion would be more than trying to cheer Avery up, and she would come home to tell me for sure that she was pregnant.

After several minutes and no sign of Avery, I looked out the window. It wasn’t her Dodge I’d heard, but the Mustang from the guy in 14B. I frowned. I had more work to do on the Dodge if I could mistake it for that pussy Mustang.

As the sun sank down behind the buildings across the street, the subtle hues of the orange and blue sky faded into blackness, broken up by millions of tiny, twinkling specks.

I looked at the watch Avery had gotten me for Christmas. The memory brought a smile to my face, but it faded when I took in the time.

Pulling my cell from my pocket, I dialed her number. It rang four times before her voice filled my ear, rushed and overwhelmed.

“What’s going on, baby?” I asked.

“Have you been watching the news?” she asked.

“No, baby, I’ve been cooking you dinner.”

She groaned. “I’m starving.”

“I can bring it to you? I’ll put it in that hot food keeper thing your aunt bought you for a wedding present.”

She sighed. “Thank you, really, but I won’t have time. A busload of senior citizens is overloading the ER right now. There was a massive fire down at Oakridge Home.”

“You need me to come in?”

“No, no. We have things under control, but I won’t be home anytime soon.”

I turned around, glancing at the twinkling lights. “It’s fine. Just keep me updated.”

“I will.”

The phone disconnected as the
I love you
I was about to say died in my throat.

“Perfect,” I mumbled, sliding the phone back into my pocket.