Sweet Montana Christmas (22 page)

“What are you going to hand out?” He began to coat the molds with chocolate the way Sue Anne had taught him a few weeks ago.

She inspected the effort. “Not bad for a fireman.”

“Oh, I have many talents.”

“Uh huh.” If only their dates led to something more ... well, physical. Right before he'd leave her, they'd indulge in a half hour of heaving kissing, but that's as far as it went. Each night, she went to bed more frustrated than the night before.

“I've got a shipment of jelly beans in that box there, along with some small bags and ribbon,” she said, getting back to business. “If we can get all that assembled for trick-or-treaters today, as well as several trays of pumpkin truffles, I'll be satisfied.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

Within a few moments, he was intent upon the task at hand. No wonder he was good at his job. He was smart, dedicated, and attentive. All wrapped up in a good-looking package.

Shit.
She was falling for him.

Correction.
She already had.

What if he decided he was moving on?

She'd just have to pull up her big girl panties and get over her broken heart.

But in the meantime, they could certainly have some fun. Maybe she could convince him to get over his hang up about moving from the living room to the bedroom. He'd been eager in the beginning, but had stopped showing initiative once they'd moved from friends to dating.

Commitment phobic? Or something else?

“That's looking good,” she said as the molds came back out of the freezer. "I've got some pumpkin filling we can use. That should make it totally in season.”

“Pumpkin? In chocolate?” He looked up, and she grinned as she spotted the chocolate on his cheek.

“Yeah.” She dipped a clean spoon in the mixture and offered it up to him. “Taste. It's almost like a pie. That's why we put the crushed graham crackers in the bottom of the molds. It completes the flavors.” She leaned close to him to get the spoon in his mouth, then slowly slid it out, her gaze never leaving his lips as she did so.

“Mmm. Good,” he mumbled.

“Glad you like it. You missed a spot.” She ran her finger across his lips, then put it in her mouth and licked it.

“You're impossible,” he said, and took the plastic gloves off and tossed them on the counter. He wrapped his hands around her head and caressed her lips with his, before slipping a tongue in between them.

Soon the sweet taste of pumpkin cream delighted her taste buds. With the chocolate coating and graham crackers it was going to be perfect.

Of course, part of what made it perfect was the man who was sharing the flavors with her.

“If we get a lot done today,” she whispered when he broke off the kiss. “We could take a break in the apartment.”

“What about the store?” he asked.

“That's why they invented ‘closed' signs.”

“You're out of your mind.” He kissed her again.

As a responsible storeowner, she shouldn't arbitrarily close, but desire overruled her practical side. She needed this man. Now.

“What do you say?” she asked.

“Bad idea.”

“Why? Why is it a bad idea?”

He maneuvered away from her, enough to put a little space between them. “Don't get me wrong; I want you. But you're already taking a risk, and from my experience, women become even more attached after...” He waved his hand. “After something physical. I can't do that to you.”

“But it's my decision. I'm the one taking the risk.” She washed her hands, put on new gloves, and plunked the container of cream on the work table.

“Don't get like that, please. We were having a good time.” He slid new gloves on his hands, took another one of the trays, and followed what she was doing. “I like helping you with your store. You're building something neat, while I'm only trying to keep a small corner of the world safe.”

Her mood unbent slightly as she took in the compliment about her business. He was definitely supportive. And he had a point. Making love to him would mean something to her. She was already in enough trouble as it was.

But how long was she going to wait for him to make up his mind?

Zach's head was full. He could have handled the physical training—it was an upgraded repeat of what he'd already learned in basic firefighting. But the other information—government regulations, budgeting, and management—was instructor intensive.

If this is what advancement meant, maybe he didn't want it. It was going to involve working with people more often, even trying to lead them.

It required commitment.

He groaned as he went back to the evening's homework. Putting together a budget was a lot more difficult than it looked.

“Budget?” Tony asked from his desk on the other side of the room.

“Yep. I really hate adding and subtracting little rows of numbers. And some of the formulas don't make any sense to me at all.”

“I think I've got it. What are you stuck on?”

“How to get everything they want with the money we have.”

Tony laughed. “I think that's the way it always is.”

“No wonder fire chiefs are always grumpy.”

“Why do you suppose we were picked for this? I mean, this is a leadership course and Missoula's a small airport.” Tony poured himself another cup of coffee.

“Maybe the chief wants to have some backup?” Zach shrugged. He was just happy he'd been chosen. A stepping-stone to the next airport.

If that's what he still wanted. Why couldn't he make up his mind? Sue Anne had been clear. She was firmly rooted in Missoula.

She was also as addicting as her candy. They'd kept things light after the discussion over pumpkin truffles, but God, he wanted to take her to bed. He was going to have to decide about his career one way or the other soon. Stringing her along wasn't fair.

“Done.” Tony shut his laptop lid.

“Show off.” Zach pasted on a quick smile.

“Resale and government auctions, buddy. That's the ticket.” Tony looked over at him. “What's up? It can't be this assignment that's got you looking that way.”

“What way?”

“Like you're having girl trouble. Everything okay with you and Sue Anne?”

“Fine.”

“Spending Thanksgiving with her?”

“I have to work, remember? Sue Anne's going to her mother's,” he said. “I'll be getting my turkey at the airport restaurant.”

“Oh, yeah. Maybe you'll luck out on Christmas.”

Christmas. Sue Anne's list. He'd said he'd find her everything she put on it. Shit. If he decided to leave, he was going to ruin another holiday for her. Maybe he could put off the decision.

Maybe he could just stay.

The thought made him feel trapped. Was he ready for a commitment? Would he ever be?

He leaned back in his chair. “What would you do if you got offered a job at another airport?”

“Probably turn it down. Unless it was Bozeman. I don't ever want to leave Montana.”

“The airports are small,” Zach said.

“That's what I like about it.” Tony cocked his head. “You thinking about moving on?”

“I'm not sure. I'm not as crazy about Montana as the rest of you.” As he said it, he realized it wasn't quite true anymore. Sue Anne had shown him all kinds of hidden jewels, from small towns like Seeley Lake nestled next to mountain lakes to the peace of canoeing Flathead Lake. They'd talked about taking a weekend in Glacier, but it hadn't happened yet.

Probably because he knew he couldn't handle being in the same room with her and keeping his hands to himself, and two rooms didn't have any romance at all.

Romance. Why the hell was he thinking about romance?

“Sue Anne know?”

“Yeah.”

“And she's okay with that?” Tony sounded incredulous.

“She said she was.”

“I don't think I could do that.” Tony shook his head.

“What?”

“Be as close to a woman as you and Sue Anne appear, knowing I might leave her in the dust.”

“It's not like we're in love or anything like that.”

Another head shake. “You keep telling yourself that.”

He wasn't in love. How could he be?

If he were in love, he wouldn't even be thinking of leaving.

He sighed and turned back to the exercise. Crunching numbers would clear his mind of all thoughts of love.

• • •

Three weeks later, his return to the chocolate shop reminded Zach of an Iowa farm during harvest. Gourds and pumpkins decorated straw bales sitting on the floor. Cornstalks stood in the corners, and a flock of imitation turkeys lined the entryway to the shop.

Zach walked past the people sitting on the bales and chatting excitedly, steaming cups of hot chocolate in their hands.

Sue Anne had done an amazing job in a short while.

He opened the door, the sweet aroma and warmth enveloping him like it always did when he walked into her domain. As soon as he saw her, a shot of heat went through him—a fire of desire but also a knowing that he'd found someone special.

He was an idiot to leave her.

But he couldn't spend the rest of his life at this tiny airport. There wasn't enough room for advancement. At least that's what he kept telling himself.

Sue Anne finished up her sale with the redheaded boy he'd seen there often. The boy was chatting excitedly, and Zach heard snatches of conversation about new classes and a girl who was teasing him.

She definitely had a way with kids.

The boy left, and she came out from behind the counter. “I'm so glad you're home!” A big hug and kiss followed.

She had a way with him, too.

He returned the kiss, deepening their connection and pulling her close to him. He was home.

“Ugh. Get a room,” Julie said. “We've got chocolate to sell. Christmas is coming fast.”

“You free tonight?” Zach asked.

“Yes.”

“Mind if I pick up a pizza and stop by?”

“Not in the least.”

“Good.” He gave her one last kiss, savoring the taste of her lips.

He whistled as he left the shop. They could have a nice night before he told Sue Anne that he still hadn't been able to make up his mind.

His mother wouldn't be happy with him if she knew. Not happy at all.

“Do you know what or get off the pot,” she'd say.

A few hours later, laundry done and shoes polished for the week ahead, he stopped at Biga Pizzeria and picked up a Vesuvio pizza. The salami satisfied the meat eater in him, yet it wasn't so heavy that Sue Anne would object. After a few months of dating, he was beginning to know her tastes. Considering them was becoming more natural by the day.

So much for the image of an alpha male he'd always tried to portray.

The holiday decorations continued to the back of her shop building; a large apple wreath against the wall, while more pumpkins and fall-colored flowers in pots lined the walk to her apartment.

She certainly got in the mood.

The door opened immediately to his knock. He set the pizza and beer on the counter and was immediately swept into Sue Anne's embrace. They picked up the kiss they'd started in the shop, tongues entwining and breath coming fast. He tangled his hands in her hair, the primal desire strengthening his need.

God, he wanted her.

Now.

She returned the fervor, her hands roaming across his back, pulling him as close to her as she could, his erection obvious between them.

He groaned and slid his hands to her front, moving quickly into territory they'd covered before, a small awareness concentrating on any move or words that would tell him his advances weren't welcome.

None came.

He should stop this—for all the reasons he'd told himself before. But desire was overwhelming. He'd only be able to stop if that's what she wanted.

He broke off the kiss and held her face in his hands.

“Sue Anne?” Would she know what he was asking?

“Yes.” She grabbed his hand and pulled him toward the back room.

The pizza would have to wait.

• • •

Sue Anne stared at her face in the bathroom mirror. It wasn't the first time she'd had sex with someone—she'd lost her virginity in college, like most of her peers.

But it was the first time she'd every truly made love. Everything about the experience only cemented what they'd already discovered about each other since they'd met in January. It had been a ride full of ups and downs, but maybe now they were on course.

Maybe now he wouldn't leave. It was a desperate thought—one she wasn't very proud of thinking.

She finished washing her hands and returned to the bedroom, her sleep shirt covering her nakedness.

Zach was up, fumbling with his jeans.

She let a sigh of satisfaction escape at the sight of his bare back and the curve of his ass.

It was better than good.

He finished with his jeans, reached for his shirt, spotted her standing there. Quickly crossing the room, he pulled her into his arms and gently kissed her swollen lips.

“That was wonderful,” he said.

“Mmm,” was all she could get out.

“I think I've worked up an appetite.”

“Uh-huh.”

His smile deepened, and her final defenses tumbled. She was dangerously close to falling in love, if she hadn't already taken the plunge, and there were dangerous reefs ahead.

No matter. She'd take what she could get while she had it. When winter came, whether it was sooner or later, she'd just wrap another quilt around her. She was a survivor. Losing her father had taught her that.

“The pizza will be cold,” he said.

“I'll turn on the oven to low. Shouldn't take too long to heat it up.”

“Okay.” He opened two beers, and they went to the back porch while dinner got warm. He flicked on the tabletop heater she had, and they both wrapped themselves in the blankets she'd laid out on the chairs, reluctant to let the warmth of autumn go.