Sweet Gone South (19 page)

“You taste like lasagna,” she said. “You ate some cold out of the pan, didn’t you?”

“Just a bite. Just enough so I’d taste good and you’d want to kiss me. I’m considerate of you that way.”

“I’d want to kiss you anyway.” And this time she kissed him. He accepted her tongue and let out a little moan. He tightened his arms around her and flipped her over until they were a tangle of tongues, arms, and legs.

She eagerly opened her legs to accept his erection between them. Hot chills shot through her. And how was that even possible? He moved against the crotch of her loose khaki shorts and kissed her neck.

“I wish you’d wear a dress,” he whispered against her ear as he pushed hard against her. “And no panties.”

She ran her hands up his sides under his Vandy t-shirt. “You don’t know that I
am
wearing panties.”

He groaned. “Woman, you’re killing me.” He rolled to the side and reached under her shirt. Her nipple hardened before his hand closed against the silk lace of her bra. “I know you’re wearing a bra. I hate this bra.”

“That bra deserves to be loved. It cost a hundred dollars.”

“I’ll give you
two
hundred dollars if you’ll go take it off.”

She laughed a little. This was fun and exciting. Her body never let her down at this stage and it would go no further tonight. Luke didn’t even really expect it — yet. She pushed that thought away and lifted her pelvis to meet his.

“Right down the hall … ” he whispered and ran his tongue around her ear.

This was her signal. She either had to get up and walk that lifetime and three eternities down the hall with him or she needed to end this and go home.

She pulled away. “I should go.”

He smiled and stoked her cheek. “Are you sure?”

“I’m sorry,” she said, and she was. The time would come when he’d tell her if she left, not to come back. But if she went with him, he’d find out she wasn’t like other women and he’d tell her not to come back. She wouldn’t think about that now.

“I’m a patient man, Lanie. I like a woman who takes her time.”

They stood together and he walked her to the door.

• • •

Luke wasn’t lying. He did like a woman to take her time and he didn’t want Lanie to do anything she wasn’t ready for, but damn, he wanted her.

“I want you,” he said and took her in his arms. It still surprised him how they fit together when they stood facing each other. Carrie had been so small.
No Carrie thoughts
. He cupped Lanie’s bottom in his hands and made a show of moving her against his erection. They laughed together. “I don’t want you to go, Lanie Heaven.”

“I know. Kiss me goodnight.”

He slid one arm up to encircle her waist and raised the other to tip her face to his. He loved stroking her soft cheek, but not as much as he liked her mouth on his. Time passed. Mouth on mouth. Tongue to tongue. Her arms around his neck. They were in a world where there was no one else. Until …

A squeal, a giggle, and little feet jumping up and down. He wasn’t sure who released who first, but he and Lanie flew apart.

Another giggle and clapping hands.

“Mommy! I gotta mommy now! Lanie’s my mommy!” And Emma ran and clasped Lanie around the knees.

What? He backed into the corner, in shock, speechless. Lanie’s mouth dropped and the color drained from her face.

“Pick me up, Mommy!” Emma held her arms up. Like a robot, Lanie reached for her.

Why would Emma think this? Lanie had spent a lot of time with her, sure, but if there was one thing he was certain of, Lanie hadn’t coached or condoned this. Even now, as she held Emma’s body to her and cradled her head against her shoulder, her face wore pain like he’d never seen — wistful, heartbreaking, ripping agony.

Then it hit him. That night in Lanie kitchen, when they’d had dinner.

“Beau’s mommy and daddy were kissing.”

“Mommies and Daddies kiss.”

“You kiss Lanie. Then she’ll be the mommy, you’ll be the daddy, and I’ll be honeybee!”

“Daddy!” Emma twisted in Lanie’s arms toward him. “Lanie’s my mommy!”

Oh, God. Oh, Christ. He leaned against the wall.

“Emma,” Lanie began. “Listen, to me, sweetheart.”

“Mommy!” Emma threw her arms around Lanie and kissed her cheek.

“Emma. Listen. I’m not — ”

“Wait.” Luke finally found his voice. He stepped forward and put a hand on Lanie’s arm. “Don’t. Not tonight.”

And he knew what he had to do. There was no choice.

“Look, Mommy!” Emma knelt down by the steps of the ABC Preschool and pointed at an ant making its way to an anthill. Heartsick, Lanie knelt beside her. This might be the last time she would ever bring Emma to school.

“Don’t touch, Emma. Just watch,” Lanie said. “See what he’s carrying on his back? That’s food and he’s working very hard to take it home to his family.”

“You get ice cream for Daddy and me.”

Lanie’s heart seized.
Not for much longer.

“Look!” Emma was on her feet now, the ant forgotten. “There comes Beau!”

Missy pulled her Mercedes SUV into the parking lot close enough for Lanie to hear them chattering with each other through the open window.

“Out!” Beau shouted from the backseat.

“Hold your horses,” Missy said. “We have to park first. Just like yesterday, the day before, and tomorrow.”

“Out!”

“I hear you.”

Missy got out, opened the back door, and attached a leash to the harness he was zipped into. The harness and leash were new. Harris had brought it home as soon as they’d found out Missy was pregnant again and made her promise not to pick Beau up unless absolutely necessary. Missy was crankily indulgent of his request.

If only Luke could care for her like that, Lanie wouldn’t be cranky.

Beau giggled. “I’m a dog! Ruff, ruff!”

“So you say. So you say every time I put this leash on you.” Missy unbuckled the car seat strap and took his arm to help him down. “Here you go, puppy.”

“Not a puppy! I’m a big dog!”

“Oh. My mistake. What’s your name?”

“Beau,” he said in an exasperated tone.

“Oh, right,” Missy said. “You have a point. But take that tone with me when you’re twelve and you are so grounded.”

Emma and Beau spotted each other and proceeded to have a reunion like one of them had been lost in the Mohave Desert for eight years.

“Hey!” Missy brought her bright smile to greet Lanie. Then it stilled and her eyes clouded. “You look like hell.”

And it was true. There was a chocolate stain on her t-shirt and she’d pulled on conversation heart pants because she hadn’t had the energy to look for a pair that was more appropriate to the season. There were dark circles under her eyes and she hadn’t been able to stop crying long enough to put on makeup. Still, she felt even worse than she looked.

Lanie ran her hand over the stain. “It doesn’t matter. I’ll put my apron on when I get to work. No one will see.”

“Lanie, are you — ”

But before she could finish, Emma pulled on the tail of Missy’s shirt.

“Beau’s mommy, Beau’s mommy!” Missy smiled and knelt down to meet her eyes. “What, sugar? Did you want to tell me something?”

“This is
my
mommy!” And she reached for Lanie’s hand.

Lanie felt her heart drop when she thought it had no further to fall. Yet, she found a smile for Emma.

“It’s time to go inside, Emma.” Lanie took her to the door to turn her over to the teacher’s aide. “Today’s a Pammy day, so she will pick you up. I’ll see you at dinner.”

“You pick me up!”

“Not today,” Lanie said. “Give me a hug.”

“Bye, Mommy!”

When Emma disappeared inside, Lanie felt her face let go of the smile that she didn’t feel.

“Don’t you dare move from this spot,” Missy told her as she unzipped Beau’s harness and kissed him goodbye.

Denise Eubanks, all smiles, walked toward them with Justin in tow. Missy gave her a
not now
look. Missy’s
not now
look had made her famous, if not popular.

“What the hell was that?” Missy whispered as they walked down the street.

“You’re walking away from your car,” Lanie pointed out.

“So I am. You walked the two blocks from your shop. It won’t hurt me. Do you want to stop at the diner and have breakfast?”

“I have to make candy.”

“It’s just as well. Clearly you’re upset and we wouldn’t have any privacy at the diner. We’re going to your apartment.”

“Missy, did you hear me say I need to make candy? I have eight orders that have to go out this afternoon. Plus, I need to make a few things for the shop.”

“You’re in no shape to make candy. You will ruin it. You’re going to talk to me.”

It had been a few weeks since Missy had been to Lanie’s apartment, and Lanie looked at it though Missy’s eyes. Junk mail and newspapers were piled up on the dusty coffee table. Half her DVDs and CDs were missing and the others had fallen over helter-skelter. The plants needed watering. It was like the once cozy little dwelling had ceased to be a home.

“Have you eaten this morning?” Missy demanded.

“Yes,” she lied.

Missy could tell. She folded her arms over her chest and demanded, “What?”

“Uh, coffee?”

“That’s not eating.”

“I put some cream in it.”

“Sit down. I’m going to fix you something.”

Lanie sighed and sank to the sofa. “I don’t have time. The caramels. They have to set up.”

“You can’t make candy in the shape you’re in.”

Lanie heard Missy rambling around the kitchen. She could ramble all day and she still wouldn’t find any food.

“It’s not much, but it’s what I could find.” Missy set a steaming mug on the table next to Lanie and handed her a plate with a toasted bagel smeared with peanut butter. “That’s tea. You don’t have any coffee.” She did. It was just across the hall.

“Thanks.” Lanie took a sip of the tea and made a face.

“I know you like sugar and lemon but there wasn’t any,” she said pointedly.

“Yes. I guess I’m going to have to get some groceries.” Lanie’s eyes filled with tears. “A lot of my stuff has just migrated over to Luke’s.”

“Oh, honey.” Missy closed in for a hug. “Are you even living here?”

Lanie sat up and set her plate on the coffee table. “I am. That is, I’m sleeping here. I eat all my meals with Luke and Emma. Or I did.”

“What happened? And what is this business with Emma calling you mommy?”

Lanie laughed a watery little laugh devoid of all humor. “It’s your fault, at least indirectly.”

“I can’t wait to hear this.”

“A few weeks ago, after Emma had been to your house to play, she said that she saw you and Harris kissing. Luke told her that mommies and daddies kiss. Then last night she — ,” Lanie’s voice caught.

“Saw you and Luke kissing.”

“Yes. And who would have imagined she would have put it together? But since I was kissing her daddy, she thought that made me her mommy. I swear, Missy, Luke almost passed out. I started to explain it to her, but he stopped me. He said not to do it that night. Well, in a way that made sense. I thought there was a good possibility that she would have forgotten it by this morning.”

“Not Emma,” Missy said.

“But this morning, she hadn’t forgotten a thing. She hasn’t called me Lanie once. Luke was on his way to run, and I told him I’d talk to her, and he asked me not to. He said that he and I would talk about it tonight after Emma goes to sleep.”

“And you think he’s going to say what?”

“Isn’t it obvious? He’s going to tell me that it was a bad idea for me to help him with Emma, and an even worse idea to get involved with me. He’ll probably move.”

“You don’t know that,” Missy said without conviction.

“I do know it.” Tears ran down Lanie’s cheeks.

“Lanie, if that does happen, are you more upset at losing Luke or Emma?”

“Oh, Missy. I don’t know where one ends and the other begins.”

• • •

Luke entered the Merritt National Bank and went straight to Karen Spurgin’s desk.

“Hello, Luke,” she said pleasantly. She’d been taking care of his banking since he’d come to town and he liked that she still called him Luke. That meant she had no plans to do anything to land her in his court so she didn’t need to suck up to him.

“Hi, Karen. I need to get in my safe deposit box.”

“Do you have your key?” she asked as she opened her filing cabinet and thumbed through the folders.

“Right here.” He held it up.

“Sign here.” She put a form in front of him.

The room with the locked boxes reminded him of a mausoleum. Not too far off, really. He wondered how many of the boxes held the remnants of past lives.

“4476,” Karen said. “Ah, you have one of the large boxes.” She fit her key in the lock and stepped aside so he could do the same.

Yes, he had a big box. A small one would have been large enough for his grandfather’s coin collection, the savings bonds, stock certificates, passports, and such, but he’d had to get a big one to accommodate Carrie’s jewelry.

He pulled the box out and set it on the table.

“Take your time,” Karen said and the heavy steel door closed behind her.

He didn’t touch the box at first. He needed to mentally prepare, though it wasn’t as if he was going to have see all her rings, bracelets, and other little trinkets tangled together like pirate’s treasure. No. After she’d died, his mother had taken it all to be cleaned. Then she and his sister, Arabelle, had packed it away in velvet bags and leather boxes. At his request, they’d labeled it, not by the names of the pieces, but with the appropriate time for it to be passed to Emma. In some cases, it was by age. In others, it was by event.

He opened the box. There wasn’t enough time in the universe to prepare, so he might as well get on with it. And there they were, scattered on top of the papers, with tags in his mother’s neat finishing school penmanship. He picked up a white leather case, creamy with age. He knew what was inside: the pearls Carrie almost always wore. He hadn’t bought those for her; they had been her mother’s.
High school graduation
, his mother had written on the tag. Next, he picked up a royal blue velvet bag labeled
twelve years old.
From the weight of the bag, he could tell it contained more than one thing. He had no idea what, but had no doubt it would be appropriate for a twelve-year-old. Probably Carrie’s charm bracelet. Maybe some little necklaces and plain earrings. Would Emma’s ears be pierced by then? When was that appropriate? Carrie wasn’t here and he had no idea. But Lanie would know.