Sweet Christmas Kisses (136 page)

We went down the front stairs, which were also carpeted in white and led to the massive living room.

“Good grief. You could hold church in this living room,” said Carla. “It’s fabulous.”

Matthew ran to the window seat and climbed into it. “Mommy, I can sit here and watch trucks.”

“That’s fun.” I walked over and looked out the window too. There were nearly as many pickup trucks as cars driving slowly along. “I never understood where all the traffic was going. Not as if there’s anything happening in Serendipity.”

“Yet you’re moving back.”

Startled, I turned to Alice. “Sorry. I didn’t realize I’d said that out loud.”

“Yep.” Carla tipped her head and a dangly diamond earring swayed with the movement. “I’ve said it before, but I’ll repeat myself. I’m thrilled to have you back in town, Melissa. I just hope you won’t regret it.” She looked toward her mom, but Lillian was enthralled with watching Matthew.

I swiveled away again, walked over and opened the door to a wood-paneled den. “Here’s my office. Some of the old guard are gone now—people who were in the real estate business when you and I were kids. People who had a lot of respect in the community. It’s the ideal time for an ambitious, knowledgeable realtor to come in and set up shop.” I lowered my voice and nodded toward Matthew who was still sitting in the window seat a few yards away, chattering excitedly to Lillian.

“Plus next fall Matthew will start kindergarten. I don’t want him in some giant elementary school where nobody knows him. I want him to have the start we did—with teachers who know us and don’t mind calling home if there’s a need.” I shook my head and forced a smile, frustrated that I felt like crying. “Sorry. Nervous exhaustion.”

Carla took my hand and Alice and Francie drew close too.

“Matthew is darling. It’s been tough raising him alone, I know,” said Carla “Now you’re here, some of us can help you. That will be good for everybody. It’s the kind of thing Serendipity folks do well.”

Francie smiled sadly. “I guess part of wanting the house has to do with Jim.”

“No, not really. I’ve always loved this house. It’s so big and substantial looking. It always looked to me, as a kid, as if this house could withstand anything—like a lighthouse perched on a rocky cliff. Maybe you remember the house I grew up in and the way our family interacted.”

The girls both winced at that. Not a happy memory for anyone involved.

“So as a kid I looked at this place and imagined that if I lived here, I’d be happier. Safer.” I noticed the skeptical smirks on my friends’ faces. “Of course, the last night I was here was a nasty turning point in my life. It’ll be cathartic for me to own the place where that happened, you know? Kind of—physically taking control of the past and making it positive instead of painful like it’s been up ‘til now.” They both nodded soberly. “So I wanted it for both those reasons.” I winked. “Plus it’s gorgeous.”

We all laughed.

“You’re very brave to take this big step, Mel.” Francie looked worried, and I smiled at her.

“I have a lot riding on this move, in every possible sense of that phrase. I’ve made some big commissions in the last couple of years, so have a bit of a financial cushion for now. I know it will work out, but I’m still nervous.”

The rest of the house tour—sitting room and powder room—was accomplished without Matthew’s presence, as he seemed glued to the window seat, his eyes intent on each truck as it passed.

“Furniture should arrive in a couple of days, but ’til then, we’ll be a little uncomfortable.”

Carla, Francie, and Alice mobilized in the kitchen. “But at least there will be food. One pool-side picnic coming up.”

“Oops. Forgot cups.” Alice had made pitchers of sweet tea and had a bag of ice, but there wasn’t a genteel way to drink it.

“Matthew and I can walk down to the corner and buy some plastic cups,” Carla offered. “Okay?” He seemed to have accepted everyone so quickly, but I was surprised at his willingness to leave the window seat. Then again, it meant walking along the sidewalk so he could watch the trucks and hear them better. “While we’re doing that, you can dig out the deck furniture.”

We located the pool house key, and Francie and I pulled the brightly colored Adirondack-style chairs out of the crowded pool house and wiped them all down, Alice and Lillian set out the food and paper plates in my beautiful new kitchen.

It was late in the year to eat outdoors, but with the sun shining on the pretty furniture set around the gorgeous pool, it was festive and inviting. I wanted the house to always be that for us and for our friends—a place known for its warmth and hospitality. Portions of my former life in Serendipity made that a challenge, but I was certain I was up to it.

Carla and Matthew returned shortly with plastic cups and a surprise.

“Mommy! Mr. Jim comed to see us. He haves a big
truck
.”

I met them in the living room. Carla carrying the plastic bag with red cups poking out the top, and Matthew, his face beaming, holding the hand of the one guy I had dreaded running into.

“Hi, Jim. Long time.” It felt like a hundred years—or maybe fifteen minutes.

“Mel. This is quite a surprise.” He looked past me to his other sister, his mother, and our friend Alice. “I see I’m the last one in my family to know you’re back in town.”

“Mr. Jim haves a big truck,” Matthew said more softly this time, looking up at me and to Jim and back again. Obviously, the strain between me and this man was apparent to him. 

“What color truck is it, Matthew?” I crouched down and held his hands.

“Blue,” he whispered, his eyes wide.

“Wow. Blue is Matthew’s favorite color of truck, Jim. Did you know that?” I looked up at him from Matthew’s side.

“So he told me. Um, so you’re MM Investments? I saw it in the sales disclosures in the paper.”

“Yes. This is a business venture for me.”

“Ah. Completely impersonal?”

“Yes. Completely.”

“Most people don’t come back to Serendipity for business reasons.” He smiled thinly. “Most people, once they leave, don’t ever move back to town.”

“As was my intention, in fact. Things just kind of fell into place for this move. Matthew and I are excited to be here.”

“Are you now?”

“Yes.”

“You don’t look all that happy about it, Mel.” He touched a finger to the little cleft in my chin, a touch that had been intimate and endearing back in the day. With great restraint, I kept myself from swatting his hand away.

“I may not look happy
now
, but I bet I looked lots happier before you got here,” I whispered.

“Food, people.” Francie’s yell wasn’t exactly tactful, but at least it broke the tension of the moment.

“Can Mr. Jim be at the picnic?”

“Um…” Jim and I both started to speak.

“Probably Mr. Jim needs to go someplace else
right now
,” Carla suggested.

Lillian came in and took Jim by one hand and Matthew by the other.

“Mr. Jim is my little boy, Matthew,” she said sweetly, gently steering them in the direction of the kitchen. “His daddy and I taught him very good manners.” She sent Jim a warning glance. “He works hard at his job, so I’m sure he’s hungry for dinner. But afterward he’ll need to leave right away. Isn’t that right, Jim?”

“Sure is. Thanks, Mom.” He looked around at me. “Thanks for inviting me to stay, Mel. I appreciate it.”

He appreciated the fact that I hadn’t invited, and wouldn’t have invited, and that if it had been just him and me, I’d have gladly kicked him out. But this was my first day back in town, I was tired, and there were witnesses. I could play nice just this one time.

“Mr. Jim let me drive his truck,” Matthew told Lillian as they disappeared into the kitchen.

“Translation: Sit in it, with the key out, hold the steering wheel, and make engine noises,” Carla whispered at my ear. “Matthew asked, and in Jim’s defense, I don’t know how anybody could have looked into that little face and said, ‘no.’”

I counted silently to ten. What an interesting introduction to Serendipity it had been so far.

****

Two days later when the moving truck arrived, I was as excited as Matthew. His big deal was having his truck-shaped bed set up in his new room with the freshly painted trucks on the walls. Thanks to my girlfriends that had taken very little time to accomplish and looked great. But where Matthew’s excitement was his sleeping environment, mine was setting up my first-ever, solo real estate office. Sure, I’d had a work space in our apartment, but this was a completely different experience.

This time I was on my own, one hundred percent. I was thrilled beyond imagination and scared to death at the same time. Kind of like having a relationship with Jim Standish. Except that had been thrilling, scary, and doomed to disaster. I could do without the last component on this new phase of my life.

The moving guys were pleasant enough, but seriously unhappy about my choice in office furniture. I had lucked into an estate sale just days after making the decision to move. The furniture was antique, of great quality, and heavy as lead. The dark polished wood had “class” and “respectability” written all over it. Figuratively, that is. The guys had to shift the huge desk a couple of times until I was sure the light would hit just right over my shoulder when I was working. I would have preferred to do all this setting up completely on my own but there was no way I could budge any of the pieces without help.

Fortunately for the movers, the office was their main hassle. The living room had only the big leather sectional and coffee table, a couple of lamps, and a brass hall tree by the front door. My dining room table and chairs were dwarfed by the size of their new space, and I realized I’d need to upgrade soon. Our previous kitchen had been tiny in comparison, so there weren’t a lot of boxes to be carried into the new one. Beds for Matthew and myself, our chests of drawers, and clothes, and the movers were out of there.

Yeah, I’d bought a huge house and only had furniture for about one tenth of it, but it turned out that I liked the open feeling of all that empty space. Our apartment had been cozy, but this looked minimalist with the very same contents, and the two empty bedrooms upstairs made for some awkward conversations.

“Mommy, my dog can sleep in this room,” Matthew would say, and then walk across the hall. “My new brother can sleep in this room.” Then he would smile that heart-melting smile that had yielded him a few minutes ‘driving’ Jim’s truck, among other things.

Well, his puppy-dog eyes weren’t going to get him a brother. And the jury was still out on the dog. I wasn’t sure I could handle the complication right now.

“Ms. Singer, okay if I go now?” Emily stood in the doorway to my office, her jacket in one hand and cell phone in the other, texting with one thumb but looking at me. “Matthew’s in the window seat.” She smiled and tipped her head toward him.

Of course, he was. That’s where he preferred to spend most of his waking time, it seemed. I was super busy networking with the local business people and other realtors in town. I didn’t have any time to waste in building my business, if I was going to prosper. The Parkers’ retirement was not only a windfall to me but to others as well, as homeowners were faced with the perceived choice of which second-best realtor to choose to sell their property. I had also been lucky to find Emily, a nice high school grad who needed a local job, to stay with Matthew while I worked.

“Same time tomorrow, right Emily?”

“Yep.” She blew a big bubble and popped it. “Sure thing.”

“Weather’s supposed to be nice. It should be a great day for a trip to the park. You two could even walk there. I know Matthew would love playing on the swings. He and I went last Saturday, and he really enjoyed it.”

“Oh.” Emily’s smile faded. “Um, see you tomorrow.”

She turned toward Matthew. “Hey, I’m leaving, Matthew. See you tomorrow, okay?”

“’kay. Bye, Em’ly.” 

I needed to talk to Emily about things. She seemed to give in to every request Matthew made. Emily and Matthew walked to the pizza shop for lunch, even if I had made lunch preparations the night before. Emily and Matthew took a daily stroll to the ice cream place a few blocks in the other direction, and Emily drove him to the park, which was a good idea, and the grocery, which was not. I was appalled to find large quantities of junk food in my kitchen cabinets. It needed to stop, and when Emily arrived tomorrow morning, I would take her aside and explain again what was expected of her.

I didn’t like dealing with conflict like this. Growing up, my family had been so full of conflict, I had fled to my friends’ homes as much as possible. I spent a lot of nights with the Campbells—Alice’s family, or the Standishes—Carla and Francie’s. And after high school I had taken my scholarship papers and escaped. Forever, I had thought. Funny how forever doesn’t always last as long as you expect.

Emily’s departure each afternoon signaled the end of my work day until after Matthew went to sleep. There was no way I could concentrate on work and be sure he was okay. It was a good thing that I had to stop working and spend time with him, because otherwise my Type A personality might have taken over. That person I’d been before—the woman who was wholly consumed by her career—had disappeared when Matthew was born. The first moment I looked into that tiny red face swaddled in the receiving blanket, I was in love. Time with Matthew was never to be endured. It was to be savored.

“I wanna sit in Mr. Jim’s truck, Mommy,” he said, when I sat next to him and watched Emily jump into her little red car out front. “Remember he said I could?”

And yet it would be easier to savor our time together, if I had had enough sleep. I was having an awful time the last few days. Matthew still insisted on sleeping with me instead of in his own bed in the fun new room. I didn’t want him to be frightened in the big house, so hadn’t pushed the issue. He flopped around a lot while he slept, waking me numerous times during the night in spite of it being a queen-size bed. After a couple of weeks of this, plus plenty of sleepless time worrying about establishing the business, I was exhausted and irritable.