Authors: J. Dorothy
Tags: #Literature & Fiction, #Romance, #Contemporary, #Contemporary Fiction
Huh?
“I’ve been looking everywhere for you. I told you to wait for me.”
Wait for who?
I look over the two big shouldered guys to see another taller, broader shouldered, guy. Tanning. I sigh in relief, so glad to see him, forgetting all about my mantra from earlier.
I give him a big smile and the two drunk guys look behind to check him out.
“She your girlfriend?” One guy asks.
I bite my lip, wondering how Tanning’s going to answer that.
“No. She’s my wife and she’s having my baby,” Tanning replies without blinking.
Holy shit.
Why does that sound so hot, and why do I wish it were true?
Stupid thoughts.
He’s only saying that to help me out.
The two drunk guys drop their arms and move quicker than lightening, giving me room to get through. I’m just about to turn and leave, when Mario calls from behind, “Hey, gorgeous, you forgot your drinks. Sorry got caught up, but she’s all lined up for you.”
I turn and thank Mario, taking both drinks from the bar, then turn back around to see where Tanning went, and come face to face with his beautiful chest.
“You ... You're unbelievable,” he says, looking at me fiercely again.
I frown. Not sure what I’ve done now.
I take a small sip of one drink. “What?” I ask. I’m getting tired of him continually judging me.
“Drinking. Being here. Having guys hit on you. “ And he’s looking at Treasure Pot the whole time he’s condemning me.
My blood instantly boils. Like a fuse has been lit, setting my whole body on fire.
“What the hell do you know about it? You don’t know a damn thing. How dare you!” I shout, and rush away, splashing both drinks as I slam them down on a table before finding the nearest exit.
I am so angry. I feel tears well at the back of my eyes, but I don’t set them free. I won’t.
I fear that flood gate. I can’t be weak. I hate weakness.
I really hate it.
Seeing my car in my mad haze, I march toward it. Then I realize I’ve left my bag in the bar.
Shit.
I don’t want to go back in there. I have no idea who heard, and I can’t face people staring at me, when it's not about out how hot I am.
My head is pounding and my feet hurt. Stupid pretty shoes. Clenching my hands in my hair I stop and stare at the ground. I have to get my shit together. Hold my head high. Like I always do. Like I’ve always done, regardless of my world crumbling around me.
Then I hear footsteps.
Great.
I wonder who’s come out to see the spectacle of me losing it. It just better not be him.
“You forgot something.”
Shit. It is him. Why can’t he just leave me alone?
He hates me, so I have no idea why he’s continuing to torture me.
I don’t turn or say anything. I need a moment. I need to paste back the smiles and the,
could care less
, attitude.
He steps closer.
That’s close enough, mister.
I can’t stand for him to mess with me again. My heart starts racing and my palms are all clammy. I really want to kick and punch something.
Now he’s right behind me. “Um … about just now. I’m sorry.”
Sure he is. Real sorry. Cam probably sent him out here to apologize. Cam. I need to think about Cam and my plan. Except it’s real hard to picture Cam when Tanning is standing so close behind me. He’s all I can think about. And that’s not good.
Okay. I can do this. Moment over.
I turn ready with the smile I’ve practised forever, then I look up into his face, and the smile fades. I can’t do it. I can’t act anymore. Not around him. He takes my breath away every time, and I hate him and myself for that.
He looks at me. Really looks at me. And it hurts. No-one. And I mean no-one has ever really looked at me. I don’t let them. I can feel the tears burning my eyes. I’m so close to losing it. My bottom lip starts to tremble and then he moves quick and puts his arms around me, pulling me close. God that feels so good. I choke on a sob and close my eyes, letting him surround me with his warmth. The tears are falling. I can feel them streaming down my cheeks, but I won’t give in to it. I won’t give in to the pain of those tears. I swallow the huge gigantic lump in my throat and it burns the whole time. If I don’t pull away, I’m going to get lost in his arms. I might get far too comfortable. That’s not a mistake I can afford to make.
Using all my strength I pull away from him and wipe my eyes. I paint on the smile. “God, these pregnancy hormones have me all over the place.”
He doesn’t smile back. He just looks deeper into my eyes. I can’t stand him doing that, so I look away and toward my car.
“I’ll give you a ride home,” he says.
I see my precious Gucci bag on the ground next to him, and I move to pick it up. “No. That’s fine. Don’t want to ruin your night. I’ll get going, you stay and have fun.” God those words are forced. I want him to take me home. I want him to stay with me. All night. Cradled in his beautiful warm arms.
He grabs hold of my wrist. “I’ll take you home,” he repeats, and I don’t have the power or the will to argue.
“Okay. I guess you can drop me off and come back again.” I give him another smile, that hurts my jaw. I don’t want him to come back again.
He sighs deep, and without letting go of my wrist, tugs me to his car.
“What about the beetle?” I ask, suddenly worried about leaving it here. It’s my only valuable possession and I can’t afford for it to be stolen or trashed.
“I’ll get Cam to drive it home. I brought them here, so him and Bales can drive it back to his place.”
He opens the door of his black truck and keeps hold of me while I hop in. Once he sees I’m all snug in my seatbelt, he shuts the door and walks off toward the bar, with my keys in hand.
Holy smokes.
My breath is racing along with my heartbeat. I have no clue, why he’s being so insistent. I mean, I get he feels bad for making me angry, but I don’t get why he wants to look after me all of a sudden. Deep down I really like it. I like it more than I should. But false hope hurts, and I need to recognize it for what it is.
A dream.
A fantasy.
Not my reality.
Never Jennifer Jamieson's reality.
FiVe
_________________________
Tanning is driving and I’m sitting here fidgeting. Usually I’d make conversation, but I can’t really think what to say. The silence is killing me, and it’s killing me being in this confined space with Tanning. His cologne is so strong, but not half as strong as his presence. Man he has presence.
Every move he makes shoots a jolt of electricity through me, every time he takes a breath my heart rate increases. Not sure if all this lust is good for Treasure Pot, but he seems fine. He sends gorgeous flutters around my stomach every now and then. At least he’s unaffected by Tanning, I just wish I was.
I have to say something. Anything to get my mind off the heat flushing my skin every five seconds. I figure I’ll clear the air a bit. He may hate me, but I don’t want him thinking I’m a bad mother.
“So, about the drinking. Those drinks were only made from fruit juice. Mario hooks me up. Takes care of me.”
“I know.”
“Well, why did you…”
“I tasted it, after you stormed out.”
“You tasted it?”
“Yeah. Figured I must have jumped to the wrong conclusion by your reaction.”
I bite my lip. Wishing I’d kept it together. I don’t want him seeing any reaction from me. It shows too much and says too much.
“Right. Well, I wanted to say thanks for getting me out of that mess with those two guys, they were pretty wasted.”
He nods and keeps his beautiful eyes on the road. I wish he’d look at me. Smile at me. Laugh with me. Talk to me. God, I’m hopeless, I need to stop thinking like that. So I decide to continue, bumbling my way through pointless conversation.
“I wasn’t trying to flirt with them. They just kind of bumped up against me and pushed me into the wall, and I couldn’t get away.”
I see his grip tighten on the steering wheel and his jaw clenches. “They pushed you?” he grinds out.
“Like I said they were wasted. It would have been okay, Mario would have sorted them out, but your line kind of diffused the situation.” I let out my standard fake laugh, and for the first time it sounds fake. God, I am so lame. I’m never lame.
What the hell is going on with me?
We arrive at Cam’s place and Tanning parks the truck outside the back door. He switches the engine off and sits there. I have no idea what he’s waiting for, but it seems like he’s trying to get the words to say something, so I wait.
He sighs long and hard, looking out into the pitch black of night. “I really hated you in High School you know.”
Great. Just the words I’ve been longing to hear. I swallow and bite the inside of my cheek, what am I supposed to say to that. I shrug. “Okay.”
“And I didn’t expect to see you friends with Cam or living with him. He never liked you much either.”
Oh, the compliments are just firing tonight.
Am I expected to stay here and listen to this?
I guess I am. He’s not moving.
I paste on my fake smile, because it’s the only defence I have right now. “Well, he likes me now. And we are friends whether you believe it or not. He was real messed up when Bailey left him. Like really messed up. He needed a friend and I happened to fit that bill.”
“So, you were only ever friends?”
There's no way I’m telling him my true feelings for Cam. I love him. I really do. And I want him. I think. Or at least I did, till Mr Hotness showed up. Now I’m a bit confused, and not really sure.
“Yep. Cam never stopped loving Bailey. I don’t think he ever will. I just hated seeing him hurt like that.”
“And what about now? How do you feel now Bailey's back?”
I’m not telling him that either. I shrug again. “Not sure. He’s certainly happier, but I don’t trust that she won’t hurt him again.”
“And you want to be there when she does?”
I’ve had enough of his questions. He’s hitting on the truth far too often. He knows way more about me than he should, or than I want him too.
“I'll always be there for Cam. No matter what. Now can we finish with the interrogation and go inside. I’ll make you a coffee and give you one of my new cookies. They’re really good.”
Then he turns to look at me again. His eyes rake over me, sending a cold shiver in their wake. “You’re really good at that, you know.”
“What?”
“Putting up walls. Diverting the conversation. Talking about stuff that doesn’t matter.”
Where did this guy come from, and who is he, Dr Phil?
“Yeah, well, its survival of the fittest, not survival of the most literate.” I give him a fake smile for extra effect and push down on the door handle, opening the door. This conversation is over.
I walk in the house and Tanning follows close behind, and my whole body is on alert to just how close. If I stop suddenly he'll brush up against me, and I’m so tempted, but after the conversation we just had, I can’t bring myself to play games. Those tactics won’t work. He sees straight through me and knows exactly what I’m doing. I’ll have to be so careful around him.
I go into the kitchen and put the coffee on to warm. I made it earlier that morning and it should be nicely brewed by now. Opening the cupboard, I go in search of the container of cookies I hid, to surprise Cam with. Now I get to surprise Tanning as well. Maybe that’s the way to impress him. They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Oh and what a stomach it is. I lick my lips thinking about all the hotness of Tanning’s naked chest.
“If you’re looking for those cookies they aren’t there.”
Huh?
I turn to glance at Tanning over my shoulder and he’s changed. He’s now in his sweat pants and a loose fitting t-shirt, and I have to suck in my breath. Oh, I can so picture him putting those clothes on after sex and me taking them off again.
Jeez, get a grip, girl.
I need to stop those kind of fantasies, he told me he’s not interested, that he hated me. Well I guess
hated
was in past tense, not sure what he thinks of me now. All of a sudden I wish I did. I really wish I could read him as well as he reads me.
I must have a stupid dazed look on my face, because Tanning smiles at me. Like, really smiles, and I can’t seem to form words right now. I’ve wanted him to smile at me like that since I first met him. He's adorable. I wish I could kiss him. I wish he belonged to me. Then I start to wonder if he belongs to someone else. He’s never mentioned a girlfriend, and he did talk about wanting to hook up with Gerry. If he does have one, I hate her already, and I picture smashing her faceless face into the ground.
“What are you frowning at?” he asks, interrupting my violent daydream.
I swallow and lick around my mouth. “Um … the cookies. Where did they go?”
Tanning pats that gorgeous stomach of his and keeps grinning. I stand and put my hands on my hips. “You ate them? All of them?”
He grins wider and I reach out and punch his bicep. God he feels solid and strong.
He fakes being hurt by rubbing the spot where I just hit him. “Hey, wasn’t my fault you left them lying around for anyone to eat.”
I arch a brow. “They weren’t lying around. I hid them in the back of the cupboard to give to Cam. I always bake extra for him.”
His smile drops and I realize what I’ve just said.
Crap.
And I was doing so well. I try to recover.
“I baked extra for you too. Cam told me you like butterscotch, so in a way you inspired this lot. They were probably my best seller to date.” I give him a small smile and wait to see what he says.
Another cheeky grin spreads across those beautiful lips. “Inspired, huh?”
Oh yeah, real inspired you have no idea how inspired I am right now.
A blush creeps over my cheeks at that thought, and I turn away quickly to make the coffee so he doesn’t see the effect he’s having on me.
Holy crap
.
It’s hot in here.