SWEET ANTICIPATION (24 page)

“It was very—different. When I was a teenager I went to see Cyndy Lauper and Air Supply, and Chicago, but their concerts were like performances by school choirs compared with the one last night. I liked the music, but I could have lived without the flashing lights and earsplitting volume. And I’ve never seen so much leather and so many spikes in my life.”

“On the performers or on your date?” Lauren couldn’t resist muttering.

Jordan didn’t seem to hear her—or notice anything being different. Instead he put the empty bottle on the counter and walked around Lauren to the kitchen door. “I’ll see you and Melanie tomorrow. Kiss her good-night for me.”

“Yes, I will.” Lauren sighed as the door shut behind him. “But who’s going to kiss
me
good-night?”

T
HE NEXT DAY
she found herself no longer able to keep it all inside her and confided her problems to Rita, who listened quietly throughout the whole confusing story. Of course, Rita already knew some of it, but she had had no idea things had progressed so far and then had taken such a dramatic turn.

“So what do you think I should do next?” Lauren asked her friend after she had told her everything—or
almost
everything. “Should I swallow my pride and throw myself at his feet or should I sit back and hope he will realize that I love him and can make him happier than anyone else can?”

“It’s too bad you couldn’t do what most of our customers do and send him a dozen red roses and a card,” Rita replied with an ironic chuckle. “I understand that flowers mend a lot of broken hearts.”

Lauren considered that suggestion for a few seconds, then smiled. “I don’t think flowers would work with Jordan, but how about balloons? And I know exactly what to use instead of a card. Rita, do you think you could manage the shop and watch Melanie for an extra hour this afternoon? I’ve got an appointment with her pediatrician, but I thought I might deliver a balloon bouquet to Jordan at his lab after I’m finished with Dr. Johnson.”

“So today’s the day you’re going to find out about Melanie’s father. What are you going to tell Jordan about that?”

“Nothing if he’s not the father. Unless he insists on knowing the truth, I’m going to pretend that I’d rather not submit her to the tests and maybe he’ll let it drop, especially if I can get him to fall in love with me.”

“Sure, I’ll watch Melanie and the shop. Why don’t you go home now and put on something really pretty while I blow up the balloons?” Rita suggested. “And Lauren – good luck.”

“Yes, I’ll need all the luck I can get if I hope to convince Jordan that he can’t live without Melanie and me.”

Chapter Fourteen

When Lauren left Dr. Johnson’s office, she hesitated before returning to her van to get the balloons. She wasn’t quite ready to confront Jordan just yet. As she walked down the hallway toward the elevator, she passed Dr. Reese’s office and on an impulse decided to drop in and see if he had a few minutes to talk with her. Other than her parents, she had known him longer than anyone in the world and she had a granddaughterly affection for him, which she knew he reciprocated.

His nurse told her that the doctor was between patients and told her to wait in his office. Lauren was too nervous to sit still, so she was pacing around the room when the elderly doctor entered.

“What can I do for you today, Lauren?” he asked with a friendly smile. “And how’s that cute little girl of yours doing? The next time you bring her in for a checkup, you’d better stop by and let me see her.”

“Actually, Dr. Reese, Melanie’s part of the reason why I dropped in on you today. I just found out the results of the paternity tests and I’m not sure how to handle that information. I’m afraid of what Jordan might do if he finds out the truth.”

Dr. Reese leaned back in his chair. “So he’s not the father after all.”

“No, actually he is. Dr. Johnson said there was no doubt in his mind that Jordan is Melanie’s father.”

“Then what’s the problem? I thought you would be thrilled to find that out. Or do you still want to exclude him from any custody rights?”

“Oh, no, we passed that conflict long ago. He’s a wonderful father to Melanie and I wouldn’t dream of denying him a chance to watch her grow up.” Lauren sat down in the chair across the desk from Dr. Reese and leaned her elbows on the edge of the polished wood top. “I thought that nothing would make me happier than hearing positive results from the tests today, and I
am
glad about them, but after I found out, a problem occurred to me that I hadn’t really considered before.”

Dr. Reese nodded, encouraging her to continue.

“You see, it would be so easy to walk into the lab and tell Jordan he is the father,” she went on. “He would, of course, be overjoyed and would probably bring up the subject of marriage again, unless he has been charmed by one of those women he has been dating lately.”

Lauren paused when she saw that Dr. Reese was becoming confused by her somewhat jumbled explanation. She took a few minutes to fill him on a spattering of the details, then finished telling him why she was upset about today’s findings.

“So you see, Dr. Reese, now if he suggests that we get together as a family, I will never know whether or not he loves me. I love him enough to accept him even on those terms, but I would be happier if I knew that he loved me as much as I love him.”

“He’s never told you he loves you?”

“Never. We’ve talked about marriage and he has said he
cares
about me, but he has never mentioned love.”

Dr. Reese considered the situation for a few seconds be fore he said, “What if I were to tell you that I have positive proof that he loves you? Would you believe me?”

“Of course, I would believe you, but how could you possibly have such proof? Has he ever talked with you about this?”

“Not exactly, but there was something that happened while you were in labor and I don’t think you are aware of all the details. I told Jordan then that I thought you had a right to know the truth, but he said you had had such a difficult delivery that he didn’t want to upset you. I was hoping he would tell you after you got well, but apparently he hasn’t.”

“What are you talking about? He hasn’t told me anything other than the barest facts about that day.”

“I hope I’m not out of line by telling you this, but after all, you are my patient.” Dr. Reese took off his glasses and frowned as he thought back to June twentieth. “As you remember, there were some major complications during the delivery. The cord had become entangled and had somehow been torn away from the placenta. It is extremely rare, but once this happened if we hadn’t delivered the baby as quickly as possible, both you and she would have been in danger. Normally, that wouldn’t have posed a tough decision, but in your case, the delivery was already too far along and you had lost too much blood to make a cesarean section advisable, and yet we had every reason to believe that the cord was wrapped around Melanie’s neck so if we pulled her out with forceps, she might strangle.”

Lauren was hanging on to his every word, horrified at their implications. Her eyes were wide and frightened, even though she knew the outcome had been happy and successful for both her baby and herself.

“Anyway, it was a time-is-of-the-essence-type situation and I wasn’t sure if we could save both of you. Your parents hadn’t arrived yet and you were unconscious, so the decision passed to Jordan, as the possible father, as to whom we should work hardest to save-you or your baby.”

A lump rose in Lauren’s throat and she tried to swallow it, but it refused to move. How awful to be put in such a position as to have to choose one life over another. Poor Jordan. No wonder he had looked as if the birth had been as hard on him as it had been on her.

“And what did he say?” she prompted anxiously.

“As you can imagine, it was tough on him and he tried to weigh all the factors in the brief time that he had. But when it came right down to it, he said that even though he knew how important this baby was to you, he loved you too much to let you go.”

“He chose me?”

Dr. Reese nodded.

“But that baby was every bit as important to him as it was to me.”

“I know, and he was really upset about having to make the decision alone.”

Lauren lifted her hands to her cheeks and felt that they were wet with tears. She hadn’t even realized she was crying. “So if he loves me, why hasn’t he ever told me?”

“Probably because he didn’t want to push you too fast. And then there’s always the possibility that he’s like me and just has trouble saying the words. My wife cut a quote out of the newspaper that I don’t remember exactly, but it goes something like this: Anyone can say they love you, but only one who truly loves can show it. Even if the two of you didn’t have that adorable baby in common, I still feel you were made for each other. Why don’t you go find him and tell him how you feel? Maybe then he’ll get up enough courage to tell you how much he loves you.”

Lauren jumped to her feet and leaned across the desk, planting a grateful kiss on Dr. Reese’s bald forehead. “That’s exactly what I intend to do. Thanks, doctor. If things work out the way I hope they will, I’ll invite you to the wedding.”

Too impatient to wait for the elevator, she practically ran down the two flights of stairs to the parking garage. It took her just a few minutes to get the balloons out of the van and run back up the stairs to the third floor where Jordan’s lab was located. Pausing long enough to catch her breath, she stopped a young nurse and asked her if she would do her the favor of delivering the colorful balloon bouquet to Dr. Daniels in his lab.

The nurse agreed, even though she seemed to be reluctant to disturb Jordan when he was working. Holding the ribbons of the dozen balloons in one hand, she hesitantly knocked on the lab door with the other hand.

“Come on in,” Jordan called without bothering to look up from the microscope into which he was peering. “Yes? May I help you?”

“Uh, doctor, I hate to bother you, but a woman insisted that I bring these in right now,” the nurse announced, obviously nervous about interrupting a doctor over what she considered to be such a frivolous thing.

“Just leave it on the table, nurse, and I’ll get to it later,” he said, adjusting the magnification knob on the microscope before removing the slide and replacing it with a different one.

“I…I can’t put this down, doctor. It would float away. I suppose I could tie it to a chair or something.”

At last she had gotten his full attention and Jordan looked up from his studies. His eyes widened as he caught sight of the cluster of red, yellow, blue, green and purple transparent balloons. He held out his hand and the nurse passed him the knot of ribbons before leaving.

Jordan’s gaze was immediately caught by the bright sparkle of something tied to the end of the longest ribbon. He let the balloons float higher until the object was at eye level. Reaching out with his forefinger, he touched the twin bands of gold and watched them twirl, the small diamond twinkling in the sunlight.

Lauren’s wedding and engagement rings floated in the air in front of him, and the message could not have been clearer. Leaping abruptly to his feet, he hurried to the door and shouted after the nurse, “Where is she-this woman who gave you these? I’ve got to talk to her.”

“I’m right here, Jordan.” Lauren stepped forward from the hallway until she stood in front of him. “And I’m ready to talk to you, too.” When he motioned her inside the lab, she walked past him, waiting until he had closed the door again.

He didn’t speak, but pulled her roughly into his arms and buried his face in the sweetness of her hair. The balloons floated out of his hand until they rested against the ceiling. For many long minutes they clung to each other, their emotions too strong for words.

“Lauren,” Jordan breathed into her ear. “Does this mean what I think it means?”

“Yes, it does,” she murmured against the curve of his neck.

“And you’re ready to let yourself fall in love again?”

“It’s too late for that,” she admitted, stepping back so she could look into his eyes as she continued. “I’ve already fallen in love with you, but I didn’t want to admit it until now. I’ve let it all go and now there’s only you, Melanie and the future for me to think about.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want you to feel pressured, but I’m tired of waiting.”

“So am I. Now about that wedding—what’s a good day for you?” she responded, her lips curving into a happy smile.

“How about tomorrow? I’ve got two weeks of vacation due to me and the three of us could hop on a plane to—where would you like to go on our honeymoon?”

“I thought you promised to take me to Washington, DC, but I’d settle for Dallas as long as you’re with me.” Her hand moved up to push that persistent lock of black hair back from his forehead. Oh, how she loved everything about him, from the glossy darkness of his hair to the way he laughed.

“Lauren, I’ve missed you so much. When you aren’t in them, my arms are too empty. I’ve never been so unhappy as I am when I’m not with you.” He leaned down and caressed her lips with his in a tender kiss. “I love you,” he whispered and she felt the words even as she heard them. “I’ve wanted to tell you for such a long time, but there always seemed to be some reason not to. Now I can say it as often as I want.” He leaned his head back and repeated loudly, “I love Lauren—I love Lauren—I love Lauren.”

“Shhh,” she cautioned, laughing merrily. “You’re going to wake up all your rabbits. Pregnant females, whether they are human or not, need all the sleep they can get.”

“I can’t wait to tell Mother and Grandma about us—and Melanie. They’re going to be so happy.”

“Speaking of Melanie,” Lauren said, her smile growing even wider. “I got the results of her blood tests today.” She stopped speaking as soon as she felt Jordan stiffen beside her.

“I didn’t realize you had even had the tests done yet,” he stated, almost angrily. “What was the hurry?”

“I didn’t want them to be done at all, but I was afraid you would insist sooner or later, and I wanted to know the results first,” she explained, defending her actions.

Jordan moved away, turning his back to her. “Don’t tell me. I don’t want to know,” he said. “It doesn’t matter if my blood is running through Melanie’s veins, because whether or not my sperm helped create her she is still my child. I love her as if she were my own and I don’t want anyone to ever question that.”

Lauren reached into her purse and pulled out a brown envelope. “Here, I think you should see this,” she said, holding it out toward him.

“No, I don’t want to know,” he repeated.

“This has nothing to do with the test results. Just look at it and tell me what you think.”

Almost reluctantly, he turned back around and took the envelope from her. After opening the flap, he drew out a crisp, official document. “Melanie’s birth certificate,” he said needlessly.

“I got it in the mail this morning. Go ahead, read it,” she urged.