Sweaters & Cigarettes (9 page)

Neither of them speaks for a few seconds,
and soon, Theo actually closes his eyes. He only opens them again when he feels
Max shift slightly beside him, and is surprised to find him turning over on his
side, so that he faces Theo properly. Then, slowly, hesitantly even, Max drapes
his arm over Theo's bare chest, so that his hand ends up by Theo's neck, and
Theo swallows hard. They haven't really done this before. Or at least, Max
hasn't. Theo hasn't been able to help himself, really, often cuddling up next
to Max as they lie together in his bed.

Max has never cuddled back, though, always
keeping a safe distance, despite never objecting to Theo's closeness.

He's definitely not objecting now. This
time, Max is the one moving closer. And Theo's heart starts beating faster, for
an entirely different reason than a few minutes ago.

He doesn't say anything, though. He just
lies still on his back, turning his head to face Max, whose gaze is currently
wandering over Theo's chest and collarbones. Those slender fingers start to
lightly stroke the bare skin just below Theo's hairline, and Theo feels a
pleasant shiver run across his skin. He wonders if Max notices.

Max looks up at him then, eyes dark blue
and locked on his green ones, and for several seconds, they just stare at each
other. Until Max sighs quietly.

"Shit," he murmurs, looking away
again. "I wasn't expecting this."

Max looks back at Theo's chest, fingers
still softly stroking the back of Theo's neck. Theo isn't even sure he's aware
of doing it, but he's not about to stop him. It feels good.

"What?" Theo asks softly,
honestly confused. But Max doesn't answer right away. Instead, he just keeps
staring at Theo's chest absently, now rolling his tongue piercing between his
teeth, like Theo has seen him do so many times, by now. It means that he's
thinking, and Theo would very much like to know exactly what he's thinking
about.

He doesn't say anything, though, doesn't
press the matter. Instead, he waits, patiently. And finally, Max replies, gaze
unmoving.

"I wasn't expecting that I'd actually
fall for you."

And just like that, Theo's throat seems to
constrict, a weird sensation settling in his stomach; warm and cold, calm and
chaotic, all at the same time. He doesn't know what to say, how to react. And
for what seems like several seconds, he just stays in shock, waiting for
something to prove that he just heard Max wrong.

But no such proof comes, and eventually,
Max slowly turns his gaze back to him. Those intense, blue eyes are so much
softer than usual, unsure, even, and Theo can barely believe what he's seeing.
Max never looks unsure,
ever
, and he always has some witty comeback,
some dry comment, to ease any kind of tension.

But not this time. This time, he just
looks at Theo, softly.

"I really like you, Theo," he
says, that smoky voice unusually soft, as well. "A lot."

But Theo still doesn't say anything.
Instead, he just keeps his green, slightly widened eyes on Max's blue ones,
unmoving. And after a few seconds, even Max, who always seems so impervious to
any kind of social awkwardness and tension, gets uncomfortable.

"Look, I―" he starts, but
he doesn't get to finish. Theo stops him by planting a hard, deliberate kiss on
his mouth, not even caring where Max's mouth has just been, and Max really
doesn't seem to mind. He just kisses him back, relaxing against Theo's body,
and when they finally pull apart, he quirks a typical Max-smile.

"It's mutual, then, I take it?"
he says, and Theo exhales slowly. He can't help but smile back, and gives Max
another quick kiss. Max chuckles against his lips.

"So, what?" he murmurs. "Am
I like, your boyfriend now, or something?"

Theo feels a ridiculously strong rush at
the word
boyfriend
, and at the way Max seems to struggle between saying
it softly and saying it dryly, since it's a word that doesn't usually come out of
his mouth in any serious sense.

"Do you wanna be?" Theo says,
heart pounding. Max cocks his head.

"Well, I've never been anyone's
boyfriend, before," he admits. "Not really."

He kisses the corner of Theo's mouth
softly, hand still stroking the back of his neck, pulling through his hair
slightly.

"I wouldn't mind being yours."

Theo is suddenly elated. Suddenly, he
can't think of anything that would make him happier to hear, and for the first
time since he has met Max―yearning, long-distance crush aside―he
allows himself to really feel it. He finally allows himself to really feel
those butterflies in his stomach, the way his heart pounds against his ribs,
and the way just a look from Max makes him feel high.

He lets himself feel it, and he moves
closer to Max, so close that they're practically breathing in each other's
breaths, shifting so that he's lying on his side, properly face-to-face with
Max. He moves his hand to Max's waist, smoothing over the fabric of his black
tank top, while Max gently pulls his fingers through Theo's hair, moving as
close as he can possibly get, a small, content sigh escaping his lips.

Theo kisses him softly, closing his eyes
as he leans their foreheads together.

"Okay."

Chapter 7

Rebel

Theo is pretty sure that there's a neon sign above his head; a giant,
red arrow pointing down at him, letting everyone know that he's so happy right
now that he can barely function.

Riley sees said arrow. He sees it the
moment Theo comes down the stairs the next morning, not even twelve hours after
the milestone Theo and Max just passed in their relationship.

Relationship
. Because they actually have one, now. Max
is suddenly his boyfriend, and Theo can't really seem to wrap his head around
it.

His parents are home, though, so Riley
doesn't say anything. Instead, he just gives Theo a quizzical look, before
somehow realizing what's up, and his face cracks into a smile. Their dad, Eric,
is too focused on his newspaper to notice, and their mother, Amy, is on the
other side of the kitchen, back turned. But Theo still barely dares to respond
to Riley's smile, only hints at one, as he makes his way to the fridge. And
that seems to be enough for Riley, who turns back to his schoolbook. It's
baffling, really, how mature he can be for such a young kid.

"Good morning," their mom says,
giving Theo a peck on the cheek. "I was just about to check if you were
awake, yet."

Theo just smiles, a bit awkwardly. To be
honest, he barely slept at all last night, too stirred up by the butterflies in
his stomach to get any real rest.

"I'm good," he says, grabbing a
piece of toast. "In a bit of a hurry, though."

Amy nods, tucking a strand of long, blond
hair behind her ear.

"That's what happens when you sleep
in," she says, a bit chidingly, giving him a pointed look with those eyes
that almost match his own. Eric looks up over the edge of his newspaper.

"Don't forget your brother," he
says, and Theo frowns, turning to him.

"Dad," Riley says, exasperated.
"I'm not a kid, I can walk to school by myself."

"You're going to the same
place," Eric retorts, looking back at his newspaper. "Might as
well."

"Wait, what?" Theo says,
confused, chewing a bite of toast. Riley turns to him.

"Ellie's sick," he says,
referring to their neighbor, and Riley's childhood friend. "And dad doesn't
think I'll survive the walk to school by myself."

Theo raises his eyebrows slightly at the
obvious sass, and glances at their father. Ellie and Riley have walked to
school together since forever, pretty much, sure, but making Riley walk with
Theo instead is a bit of an overreaction.

"It's not out of your way,
right?" Eric says, only the top of his dark-haired head visible, really,
as well as his hazel eyes, as he glances at Theo. Theo then glances at Riley,
before shaking his head.

"No," he says. "It's
fine."

He looks back at his little brother, and
can't help but smile teasingly.

"So she's home sick, huh?" he
says pointedly. "I bet she'd be really grateful if you bring her the
homework she's missing."

Riley just makes a face, but the way he
starts blushing furiously makes Theo's smile widen.

"Shut up, Theo," he mutters,
turning back to his book, and Theo just chuckles, as he chews down the last of
his toast.

It's about fifteen minutes later that the
two brothers leave the house, and as soon as they have rounded the corner of
their block, Riley looks up at Theo pointedly.

"You did something, didn't you?"
he says. It's almost more of a statement, than a question.

Theo widens his eyes slightly, taken
completely by surprise.

"Whoa," he says, glancing around.
"What?"

"You know what I mean."

Riley gives him a pointed glare, and Theo
exhales.

"Fine," he admits. "Yes.
Why?"

Riley shrugs, half-smiling.

"No reason," he says. "I'm
just pretty sure other people will be able to tell, this time."

Theo frowns.

"What's that supposed to mean?"
he asks, knowing full well about the metaphorical neon sign above his head.
He's just really hoping it's not as obvious as it feels.

Riley gives him another pointed look,
which he figures is reply enough.

"So," he says, instead, after a
while. "Are you two together now?"

Theo actually blushes, knowing that he's
referring to Max.

"Maybe," he mutters, unable to
completely hide the small smile that creeps into his expression.
"Yeah."

Riley smiles, then. His expression is a
mix of brotherly teasing and genuine happiness, and Theo is eternally grateful
that him and his brother so close, despite being four years apart in age.

"Good," Riley says. "That's
good."

He looks straight ahead, as they keep
walking.

"You know what this means, right?"
Riley says, and Theo looks at him.

"What?" he asks, and Riley sighs
quietly.

"Mom and dad are gonna find
out," he says. His voice is neutral, just a little bit sad. "You
should be the one to tell them."

Theo sighs. For the first time since last night,
he feels his stomach drop. He knows what their parents are going to think, what
they're going to say. They wouldn't like Max, at all. Especially his dad
probably wouldn't even give him a chance. He would just take one look at him
and decide that he's some deadbeat who's out to corrupt his son, and not want
Theo anywhere near him.

"Let's not get ahead of
ourselves," Theo says, slightly subdued. "Don't think we're quite
there, yet."

Riley nods slowly, understanding. Then he
half-smiles.

"Well, I should meet him, at
least," he says, looking up at Theo. "I think I should know what kind
of guy my brother's boyfriend is."

Theo blushes again, looking down at the
ground. He still can't quite comprehend that Max is his
boyfriend
. He has
never even had a boyfriend, never had any relationship like it, at all, and now
he's with Max.
Max.
The gorgeous, amazing, really smart guy he has
fallen for so completely, and who now, for some reason, has fallen for Theo and
actually wants to be with him. It's just surreal, really.

When they reach the school, Theo and Riley
go their separate ways, and Theo can't help but look around a bit as he makes
his way to the main building's entrance. On one hand, he's anxious about just
how obvious the arrow above his head is (Riley practically said that everyone
would be able to see it this time, after all), and on the other, he can't help
but scan the area for Max. It's almost as though he
needs
to see him,
just to make sure that last night actually happened.

Theo doesn't see him, though, not for a
few hours, at least. It's not until right before the last class before lunch,
that he sees him.

It's odd, Theo realizes, that even though
he and Max have spent so much time together lately (and
done
so much, he
remembers, blushing to himself), and even though they're actually a
couple
now,
apparently, they're still practically strangers at school. After weeks of
basically ignoring each other in front of other people, it has become a habit,
so much so that Theo doesn't really know what to do when he spots Max, several
feet away.

Max is over near the end of the hallway,
in a little crook by a window, where he's perched on the windowsill. One black
boot is firmly placed against the surface of it, knee pulled up, the other leg
dangling over the edge. He's leaning with his back against the window frame,
the entire left side of his body pressed against the glass of the big window,
and he's got a closed notepad in his lap.

He's not alone; a few of his friends are
standing or sitting nearby. From a distance, Theo recognizes Jay, a skinny guy
who somehow looks even skinnier with all that black and those heavy,
silver-buckled boots, and Rachel, a girl whose blond hair has been knotted into
long, pale dreadlocks, in stark contrast to her black makeup. There's also
Beth, who looks a little more common in comparison, with dark brown, curly
hair, and a wicked smile that's only accentuated by her blood red lipstick.

She's smiling at Max. She's short enough
to be at about eye-level with him, as she stands up and he sits on the
windowsill, and her obvious and blatant flirting makes Theo's stomach twist
into knots. He shouldn't care, though; Max said that he has made it very clear
to Beth that he's not interested. But still. Theo can't help but feel extremely
uncomfortable and inadequate, not to mention jealous, all at the same time, as
he watches her watch Max.

He's on his way out of a classroom when he
sees Max, over there, and he stops as Michael does, when they reach his locker.
Hannah is with them, too, and she waits patiently while Michael rummages
through his locker, Theo at his side.

Theo tries not to look at Max. He really
tries, especially while Max is with his friends. Theo hasn't even spoken to
them, after all (not that Max has ever spoken to Theo's friends), and he's
pretty sure that they wouldn't much approve of him, anyway. And he has no idea
what difference it would make if he looked. He's still not entirely convinced
that last night wasn't just a dream.

But he can't help it. Michael and Hannah
are busy talking to each other, and Theo lets his eyes wander over to Max,
where he sits, several feet away. He's just so beautiful. He's so beautiful
it's stupid, frankly, and Theo kind of hates what it does to him. Max is so out
of his league, and for a moment, he feels something like panic.

Of course last night never happened
, he thinks. That would be too amazing and
too surreal and just too
good
.

But then, Max sees him. It's just a
glance, at first, but then those intense, blue eyes focus on Theo, as though
seeing him for the first time, and Max's entire face seems to light up. Theo
can see it, even from so far away, and he feels his heart do a double take, as
Max simply, unbelievably, smiles.

Theo takes a deep breath, trying to still
the way his entire body seems to tense up in anticipation. And the way Max is
smiling at him, so softly, yet with such unabashed affection and something that
looks an awful lot like hunger (because it's Max, and he seems unable to
not
look at Theo that way)... He's convinced. Last night
did
happen, and
it wasn't just a dream. And Theo hesitantly, just barely, smiles back.

"What do you think, Theo?"

Hannah's voice comes from somewhere far
away, and Theo barely notices. He doesn't answer her, whatever it is she and
Michael are apparently talking about. He can't. He's just too distracted by the
way Max is looking at him from several feet away, and all of a sudden, he feels
as though he's physically forcing himself not to move, lest he run over there
and attack that stupid, beautiful face with his mouth.

"Theo." Hannah's voice is a bit
harsh now, as though she can clearly tell that he's distracted. "What's
the matter with you?"

"Uh-huh," Theo musters, eyes
still on Max. Then Hannah notices, and turns to look. Her entire face twists
into a confused, annoyed frown, as she realizes just who he's looking at.

"Really?" she exclaims, and Theo
glances at her briefly, before looking back at Max. "Theo, we've talked
about this! What are you doing?"

Theo looks at her properly, then, suddenly
anxious. Michael has closed his locker, and his eyes are on him, as well,
slightly disapproving and suspicious. Theo swallows hard. He's pretty sure
anyone can tell that he's immensely uncomfortable and kind of scared, right
now. He doesn't know what to say. These are his friends, sure, but he just
knows that they'll hate him forever for hooking up with someone like Max, and
he hasn't exactly told them, yet.

"I―" he starts, but
doesn't really know what to say. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Max
tensing up slightly, straightening in his seat, as though paying more
attention. Almost as though he's
concerned
. "I just―"

"You just what?" Hannah says,
frowning angrily. "He's not worth it, Theo!"

She gestures vaguely in the general direction
of Max and his friends, glancing over there with thinly veiled disdain.

"I mean, look at him."

Theo's face flushes. Not from
embarrassment, but from anger, and he suddenly feels a strong urge to defend Max,
to tell Hannah to simply shut up, that she doesn't know Max and has no idea
what he's like.

Not to mention the fact that Max is
beautiful in every single way, and that she clearly has no idea what she's
talking about.

But Theo has never been good with
confrontation. And he has never been good at speaking his mind, especially not
when it comes to his friends.

So he grits his teeth, trying to think of
something to say, anything.

He's only vaguely aware of Max making his
way over to them, out of the corner of his eye, and it's not until he's
suddenly right there, that Theo actually reacts.