Swan (20 page)

Racing forward, I picked up one of the cans and
handed it to her.

‘Oh, thanks ever so much, my dear. That’s very kind
of you.’

‘No problem.’ I hesitated, looking at her properly
for the first time. She a long, tired face with strikingly vivacious eyes. A
nice face, I thought. Very well preserved.

Gathering up the rest of the fallen shopping in my
arms, I helped her carry it up to her flat. When we reached her door, she
invited me in for a cup of tea. I paused, deliberating. Then I saw a flash of
desperation on her face, a flash of loneliness that reminded me of myself. So I
agreed. One cup of tea wouldn’t hurt.

She led me into her grubby-looking living room,
which, despite an overwhelming dose of lavender air freshener, had that cloying
smell of the elderly about it: a potent mix of antiseptic and piss. I sat on
the threadbare sofa and listened to her clattering around with teacups in the
kitchen.

I gazed around the room. There were photos of ‘60s
singers above the mantelpiece: Johnny Mathis, Tom Jones, Shirley Bassey. By the
far wall sat an enormous teddy bear with the words ‘I love you Gran’ emblazoned
on it.

So, I thought, this was what I potentially had
waiting for me if things with David didn’t work out. A lonely old age with the
occasional present or phone call from a loved one to comfort me. Those sorts of
gestures from family never quite compensated for the absence of steady
companionship, did they? They were no substitute for stimulating conversation
or the warmth of someone to share your bed with.

I smiled bitterly. Told myself to shut up. I was
being incredibly unfair to the woman. I didn’t know anything about her. For all
I knew she could have a husband. For all I knew she could have friends. An
active social life. But somehow, I didn’t think so.

‘I thought you might like some biscuits,’ she
beamed, returning with a pot of tea and a plate of chocolate digestives.

‘Thank you very much.’ I took a bite out of one.
Winced. It tasted soft and stale. Gingerly, I placed the half-eaten biscuit
back on the plate and hoped that she wouldn’t notice.

‘So what’s your name then, love? I’m Grace.’

‘Maddy.’

‘My cousin from Eastbourne’s called Maddy. Lovely
name.’

I nodded vacantly.

Now that the tea was poured, I found that I had
nothing to say. Grace, however, more than compensated for this. For twenty
minutes straight, she talked non-stop about her struggles to find a job,
complained about how difficult it was at her time of life and how she had
considered lying about her age on her CV.

‘Honestly Maddy, the moment they see you’re over
sixty, they think you’re past it. I reckon I’ve still got at least another ten
good years in me, if only someone will have me. I’ve got to find something
soon. I hate being stuck at home all the time. It’s so bloody boring. I want to
get a job, keep myself busy.’

I was touched by how candid she was being with me, a
total stranger. I got the feeling there were things she just needed to get off
her chest. I could have been anyone, really.

Sweet as she was though, I felt an increasing need
to get away. In my head I started to construct an elaborate excuse. Perhaps I
could pretend to get a phone call or something.

‘I haven’t seen your friend about recently. Is he on
holiday?’

‘What friend?’

‘Yeah, you know, the bloke who lives at number six
with the glasses. I always used to see the two of you together.’

‘Oh, right.’ She meant David. ‘Um, yeah, he’s in
France at the moment, on business.’

Grace took a cautious sip of her tea, watched me
over the rim of her cup. Her eyes narrowed shrewdly. ‘He sure is a queer one,
isn’t he?’

‘Queer?’

‘Yeah, very cloak and dagger.’

I looked at her in bewilderment. ‘What do you mean?’

‘Well, he’s a bit eccentric, isn’t he? I mean, what
kind of person moves house at two o’clock in the morning?’

‘What are you talking about?’

‘That night he moved here, I couldn’t sleep cos
there were all these funny flashing lights outside my window. Then I looked
downstairs and saw this black removal van pull up outside. Actually, it looked
more like a hearse than a removal van. There was this funny tall man dressed in
a dark suit with sunglasses. I mean, who on earth wears sunglasses in the
middle of the night? He was like the blinking mafia or something.’

I put down my teacup and frowned. ‘Are you sure you
weren’t mistaken? It was dark, Grace. Perhaps you couldn’t see properly.’

‘Look love, I might be old but I’m not blind. I’m
telling you, that friend of yours knows some dodgy characters.’

I was silent for a minute. It indeed sounded
strange. But what did it all amount to? A removal van and some men dressed in
dark glasses. What was so controversial about that? I decided that Grace must
have misread the situation. Yes, she was probably being hysterical over
nothing. Besides, there wasn’t a law against moving house in the middle of the
night, was there? Perhaps David had wanted to avoid daytime traffic. Or perhaps
he had wanted to stay low-key to avoid the prying eyes of old busybodies like
Grace.

‘Would you like some more tea dear?’ she asked,
motioning towards my half-empty cup.

‘Er, no thanks. I’ve got to be going.’ I stood up
and shook her hand politely. ‘Well it was nice getting better acquainted with
you Grace. Thanks for the tea and biscuits.’

‘Likewise. Please feel free to drop in anytime.’

I nodded and made for the door.

‘Oh, and Maddy. Remember what I said. Keep your wits
about you. Your friend knows some very strange people.’

I shook my head, smiled, then opened the front door
and made my way upstairs. As I stood outside fumbling for my keys I started
thinking again about the strange man I’d seen David talking to at the salsa
club. He fit the description that Grace had given me of the man she had seen
outside with the removal van. Was David in some kind of trouble? Was that the
real reason he’d left for France so abruptly? I started to think that perhaps I
didn’t know David as well as I thought I did. How much did I really know about
him anyway? I’d never met any of his friends or family. Everything I knew was
based on what he’d told me.

Get it together Maddy, I thought. This is real life,
not the
Twilight Zone.

* * *

However, my descent into the Twilight Zone
continued the next day when William
invited himself to lunch with me. I was just getting in the lift when he sort
of jammed his foot in the door to stop me leaving without him.

‘Oops, just made it,’ he breathed, making loud
gasping noises, like he’d just run a marathon to catch up with me. I wrinkled
my nose. He smelled of Brut aftershave. Never one of my favourites.

The short journey from the fourth floor to ground
seemed to last forever. I could feel William’s eyes on me, studying me like he
wanted to say something but didn’t know how to. It was only as the doors
reopened and I alighted into the foyer that he made his intentions clear.

‘What are you doing for lunch, Maddy?’

‘Probably just going to pick up a coffee from the
Café.’

‘Mind if I tag along?’

Mind? Yes, I minded awfully, but I wasn’t about to
tell him that. So I smiled blandly and allowed him to follow me across the road
to the Italian coffee shop frequented by everyone from our office.

We queued up in silence as we waited to be served.
All around, the air was filled with the heavenly smell of freshly grounded
coffee. William was standing so close to me that I could feel his breath
fanning my neck. I squirmed. Why on earth was he inflicting his irksome
presence on me like this? If I’d been a different sort of woman, I’d have told
him where to go.

‘Those cakes look nice, don’t they?’ he remarked,
pointing to some Danish pastries on the counter.

‘Yeah they do look good, but I’m on a diet,’ I
replied tersely.

‘A diet? Surely not? You don’t need to diet Maddy.’

I gritted my teeth. A compliment coming from William
was just plain creepy. I wondered where this was all heading.

Thankfully, the lady behind the till interrupted us
by asking what we wanted. I ordered a plain filter coffee and he a Danish
pastry with a skinny latte
[E11]
 
. As I opened my wallet to pay, he placed his hand over it and settled
the bill for both of us.

‘Oh, thanks,’ I blushed.

‘No problem. Let’s find somewhere to sit, shall we?’
He picked up the tray from the counter and headed towards a table. ‘Oh, could
you pick me up two sugars, Maddy?’ he called over his shoulder.

He set the tray down on the table and politely
pulled out my chair for me. He was behaving like a perfect gent. But why?
William was not known for his cordiality.

‘So Maddy,’ he said, after we’d endured mutual
silence for a couple of minutes, ‘how’s it been on the phones today? Have you
had any difficult customers?’

I shook my head. ‘They’re all difficult, William. No
one likes getting parking tickets, do they?’

‘No, I suppose not. But we’re only doing our job.
People shouldn’t take it personally. I mean, at the end of the day, if they
were driving properly in the first place, then they wouldn’t get a ticket. It’s
their own bloody fault. No point them getting upset over it.’

I gazed into the middle distance, pretending to
focus on the busy street outside, anything to avoid making eye contact with
him. There was something decidedly indecent about the way he was so fixated on
my cleavage.
Who’s having a mid-life
crisis now?
I thought.

‘So what did you think about Angela’s announcement?’

I shrugged. ‘What can I say? We knew it was going to
happen so I wasn’t really surprised. The government’s making cuts everywhere. I
don’t take it personally.’

‘And how are the other staff taking it? I bet
they’re slagging off management no end.’

‘I wouldn’t know. I don’t really get involved in
office gossip.’

He laughed softly. ‘Yes of course, I forgot you’re
one of the quiet ones.’

Outside it had started to rain. I focused intently
on the little droplets of water drizzling down the shop window. A woman raced
past holding a newspaper over her head for cover.

‘Have you lost weight?’

‘No.’

‘What have you done then? You look so different, Maddy,
it’s incredible.
You
look
incredible.’

‘Thank you.’ Did a haircut and a bit of make-up
really make such a difference? Still, I supposed he was trying to be
complimentary in his own shambolic way.

I took a massive gulp of my coffee. Almost choked on
it.

‘Angela tells me you did a pretty good interview for
that management position.’

‘Did she? That’s nice of her. I guess I wasn’t quite
good enough though.’

‘I think you should keep at it Maddy. Like I said
before, I can see a lot of potential in you. If I hear of any more positions
coming up I’ll let you know.’

‘Thanks.’

William sipped his Latte and fixed his sallow eyes
on me. The foam from the coffee had left a little white moustache above his
lips.

‘You’ve got a bit of ...’ I pointed to his mouth.

‘Oh, right.’ Flustered, he wiped it clean with his
napkin. Then he grinned at me. ‘I just want to let you know that I’m always
here to help out. If you need any advice, any help with filling out
applications, I’ll be happy to assist you.’

‘That’s really sweet of you William. Thanks.’ I
tapped my foot nervously under the table. Glanced at my watch. I needed to get
away from him -
fast.
I racked my
brain to think of an excuse.

‘Do you like opera?’ he asked suddenly.

‘Opera?’

‘Yeah you know, Pavarotti and all that.’

‘Yes, I guess so.’

‘There’s a production of
Carmen
coming to the O2 next week. That’s not far from where you
live, is it? Greenwich. You live near Docklands, right?’

‘Um, yeah, that’s right.’ I could now guess where
the conversation was heading.

‘Well, the thing is, I’ve got a pair of tickets to
the show next Saturday. Since I’ve no one else to go with I wondered, if you
weren’t busy, if you’d like to come with me?’

Oh God no.
No!

I looked up at him with a sheepish grin. ‘I’d love
to, really I would, but I’ve got to babysit my niece that Saturday. Thanks for
asking me though.’

William looked down at the table and studied his
snow-white knuckles.

‘Backstreet Boys?’ he asked hopefully.

‘Backstreet Boys?’

‘Do you fancy seeing Backstreet Boys instead?
They’re at the O2 next month.’

‘Tempting. But I think I’ll give it a miss.’