Suspicions of the Heart (22 page)

"I'm ashamed to admit it, Aggie. But
I've been so terrified of it. I was afraid of telling even
you…."

"Why, girl?" Aggie shook her head and
smiled with understanding.

"Oh, Aggie, look at me, at my age. I
should be experienced, know what it is all about. Men expect it. My
husband did. But all I know is that I don't want that ever again."
Candy shook with the memory of how Fargate had treated her. "To me
there was no difference in what he did than what a bull might do to
a cow."

"Of course you don't want that again.
And if I'd have known about this sooner, your guest might be minus
some hardware on that pretty boy body."

"It wasn't all his fault…at first. I
mean, I can't blame him. I acted as though I knew everything. Like
I was experienced. Deliberately. He couldn't have known. In fact, a
look of shock crossed his face during that brief encounter. He
didn't know I was a virgin. Had no clue."

Aggie looked at the floor and then at
her, patting her hand as though she knew it was some comfort.
"Candy," Aggie reached to take her face into her hands so she
looked straight at her. "In the first place, that isn't how it's
supposed to happen. Obviously the idiot thought you knew
everything. But it's no excuse for that kind of behavior from a
loving husband. If he'd have loved you he would have treated you
like a piece of porcelain china. He would have whispered sweet
things in your ears, stroked you, been gentle with you. He'd have
set you on fire before he ever touched you. That's what giving and
loving is all about with a man and a woman. It isn't rutting like
the pigs do. It isn't a slam bam thank you ma'am. It's a slow
coming together, a mutual feeling, a wanting. And nothing is
greater on God's green earth than the love between a man and a
woman, Candy."

"I wish I could be sure of that,
Aggie." Candy shook her head. "I'm frightened of ever being with a
man again."

"As well you should be. It's no wonder.
But child, I'm telling you, when you fall in love it isn't a
question of how it's done, but when."

Candy listened, but still the fear
within her nagged.

Aggie must have sensed it, because she
nodded. "You've got to trust first."

"Trust. You're the second person who's
told me that." Candy tried to smile.

"Trust comes easy if you love somebody
enough." Aggie downed her tea. "Now, you quit frettin' and let
nature take its course. I've got to get back to my work. Looks like
Jim is headed this way." She nodded toward the yard where the
Sheriff stood talking to Roscoe and Joe.

~*~

"We found your trailer, Miss Arnold,"
the Sheriff said, not less than an hour later as everyone gathered
in the living room.

"You have? Where?" Candy asked with
surprise, her eyes going around the room and landing on
Joe.

"Denton County," he answered with some
hesitation.

"Denton County," everyone in the room
nearly shouted.

"Yes." The Sheriff eyed them all. "We
caught the fella that made off with it, too. He wasn't too
professional, left prints all over the place. But you'll be happy
to know it's all intact, and we'll have it here in a couple of
days. Naturally, we'll have to impound it for a short period, but
it shouldn't be too long. I'll push for its release."

"Thank you, I'd appreciate that. It
sure was quick work, Sheriff," Candy mumbled almost to
herself.

"The law can work fast," Joe
acknowledged as he shook hands with the Sheriff and offered him a
cup of coffee.

The Sheriff nodded and sat on the couch
as he continued to explain what had expired. "We were lucky. Damn
lucky. But don't you go thinking this is all over, little lady. It
isn't, not by a long shot. The guy we caught said it was a set-up
job. The brains behind all this hasn't been nailed yet. Naturally,
it's only a matter of time before he shows his hand. Just don't do
anything careless." He took the coffee Aggie offered.

Roscoe drew up a chair, his frown
mirroring his concern for her. "Well, who was the guy who took the
trailer, Sheriff?"

Jim shifted his big legs, setting his
hat on his knee. "Big guy, name was Chapman."

Heads began to whirl in Candy's
direction in total disbelief. The name Chapman rang in Candy's
ears, as her mouth fell open with complete surprise.

"Doug Chapman?" She spat out his name
as though it had an acid taste in her mouth.

"That's him. Know him?" Jim asked
eyeing her closely.

Candy crossed her bare feet beneath her
and leaned into the soft cushion of the couch. "Yes. Yes, I do. We
used to work together in the rodeo. So, was he the one who let the
bull in the arena?"

"Looks that way. We still don't have
all the details on this yet, but they say he's more than eager to
spill his guts, so it won't be long."

"Did he say why?" Candy had to
ask.

"Nope, not as far as I know. But it
won't be long before it's all out in the open. He's rarin' to
talk."

As the others began asking questions,
crowding around Jim for every detail, Candy went to stand by the
window. She needed time to digest it all. She couldn't believe Doug
would do such a thing. He didn't seem the type.

The first question that popped into her
head was why? Why would Doug go to such lengths? What did he hope
to accomplish, and who was paying him to do it? If all this was
true, she had a lot of things to straighten out and most of them
with Joe. She was baffled and hurt to think an old friend, a person
she had actually dated, would stoop to such a thing.

As the Sheriff was about to leave, she
approached him one last time. "Sheriff, you've been very efficient
about this. But would you do me one last favor?"

"If I can," Jim answered, fingering his
hat rim.

"Would you ask him why?"

"Yes, ma'am." Jim evidently saw her
tears and hung his head. "I'll do that." He cleared his throat,
touched her arm and moved toward the door. He stopped, turned and
stared at her a long moment. "And remember what I told you - it's
not over yet."

"I'll remember, and thanks again," she
called after him.

Everyone began mulling over the news,
but Candy felt a tremendous urge to sneak away, to be alone. She
slipped out the back door and took a long walk.

It was a beautiful day; a gentle breeze
cooled the earth. How could she have been so wrong? And why would
Doug want to harm her? They had been friends once. She thought.
Tears welled in her eyes. What she had done to deserve
it.

She inwardly dreaded having to
apologize to Joe. Not that he didn't deserve a full apology. He
did, and more--much more. She owed him so much, where did she
begin? She hated being indebted to anyone.

Once she recovered her composure she
went back inside intent on making a quick public apology. But Joe
wasn't about.

Days passed; Fargate left, promising
he'd return soon. Why he would bother, she didn't know. She still
hadn't said anything to Joe. She hadn't had a chance. He seemed to
always be busy with one thing or another. It seemed to Candy he
might be avoiding her. And why not? She hadn't trusted him at
all.

Perhaps he merely wanted to get back to
his own life again. She couldn't blame him for that. Maybe he had a
girlfriend somewhere, and was spending time with her. But, she
doubted that. Not the way Aggie had talked about Lisa.

Lisa was a mystery. Joe never talked
about her. Never mentioned her name even. If it hadn't been for
Aggie, Candy wouldn't have known about her at all. Were there
others?

She was curious about Lisa. But the
very thought of someone else in Joe's arms disturbed her no end. It
was time to put things in their proper perspective. Whatever could
have been between her and Joe was gone. She destroyed anything ever
developing between them. She mourned the loss of a man she never
had. She'd filled herself with assumptions, all from
misinterpreting his actions.

At least there was plenty of work to
sink her teeth into. For the next few days she worked with Uncle
Roscoe with her own cattle, and began to feel some of her old life
coming about. She helped him mend fences, brand cattle, and cooked
the hired help meals. Mundane, but at least it filled her days. Her
nights were even harder, being around Joe Munroe and yet not being
around him at the same time.

Aggie had become a permanent resident
at the RB ever since Candy's trailer had been stolen. For that,
Candy was glad. Had it not been for the constant chain of
conversation she might have been forced to talk to Joe.

The gravity of Candy's indebtedness
began to weigh heavy.

The Sheriff called one afternoon and
said the trailer would be back the next day. Candy was relieved
and, yet, felt strangely lonely. But for what? She took the
afternoon off to pack and clean things around Joe's big roomy
house. She might have been an intruder into his life, but at least
she wasn't going to be a sloppy one.

With no one about, she had the house to
herself. She ambled through the rooms, one by one, picking up
everywhere she went. She threw laundry in the washer and put the
clean dishes away. She dusted, and mopped and vacuumed and finally,
when every other room was clean, she went into Joe's bedroom. It
was like a whole different world. The bed was adorned in navy blue
silk, and the dresser was clean. It was there she found a picture.
It must have been Lisa. Aggie said she was the only girl Joe had
ever loved. And from the looks on the two men's faces the woman was
loved. Candy envied her.

The woman was beautiful, small,
delicate, blonde and holding on to Joe and another man for dear
life.

Candy's finger went up and down Joe's
picture. He looked so much younger, so wonderfully alive and happy.
Had Lisa put that smile on his face? Knowing she shouldn't pry,
Candy laid the picture down, dusted his dresser, straightened his
bed and closed the door when she was done.

Thinking about what Aggie had said
about real love, about it being so different. Would she ever find
it for herself?

Chapter
Fourteen

Joe caught her as she was packing.
"Going somewhere?" he called from the open hallway.

Candy at last met him eye to eye. "Yes,
as a matter of fact. The Sheriff called and said they were bringing
my trailer back tomorrow. I thought I'd pack my things and tidy up
a bit before Uncle Roscoe and I left."

A silence ensued, and then he nodded
and slowly began to walk away. A tired resignation was about the
slump of his shoulders, as though he might be as weary as she of
getting along.

"Joe," she called him back but couldn't
stop the crack in her voice." Would you give me a chance to thank
you for all you've done?"

"For what?" he asked turning to look at
her.

"For what?" She gasped with dismay.
"You're deliberately trying to make this hard for me aren't
you?"

"Am I?" He raised a arrogant
brow.

"Okay, I was all wrong. I realize it
now. And I'm sorry for accusing you. Of everything. It was unfair.
I'll admit it. I'm sorry." She faced him directly, hoping he would
recognize the sincerity in her face.

It was the first time in days she had
dared look at him, and her heart gave a lurch in her chest. Dear
God, she was in love with this man! She felt all those things Aggie
had described to her, every one of them and more. The realization
stunned her. That's why she had been so miserable lately. She was
in love with him, and she was losing him, because she hadn't
trusted him.

Dark orbs glared at her, yet his voice
was low, and silk like. "Don't you think it's a little premature? I
mean the Sheriff already told you Chapman was only the flunky.
Aren't you afraid I was the one who hired him? Hmm?"

"No." She answered calmly. "I was wrong
and I admit it."

"I see. And now?" he asked, his hands
going on his hips like a challenge.

"Now, I know better," she affirmed,
backing away from his nearness. In her confusion she let her mouth
run. "If you had wanted to kill me, you'd have had ample
opportunity to do so. I've been living under the same roof. You
could have killed me while I slept."

Joe's eyes glittered dangerously into
hers as he backed her into her room again. Reaching out he pulled
her trembling chin up to meet his surmising gaze. A slow, burning
smile invaded his handsome face. "While you slept," he murmured
softly. "That's priceless."

"W…what do you mean?"

"I mean," His anger dissipating, his
fingers gentled against her cheek. Just two warm knuckles grazing
her cheek and yet the comfort he offered was almost overwhelming.
She wanted to lap that comfort like a kitten, but she dared not.
"There's only one thing I've wanted to do with you while you've
slept. And it certainly wasn't getting rid of you."

Was he teasing her? She couldn't bear
it if he was. Her heart hammered like a Gatling gun against a
target. The heat of his glance warmed her, taunted her, and made
her wonder what being in his arms would be like this time. Made her
imagination soar.