Suspicion (2 page)

―A real y good time,‖ I say. ―If you consider the worst double date ever a real y good time.‖

―Oh no,‖ she says. ―What happened?‖

The whole way to school, I keep Adrianna entertained with my stories of the insaneness of last night - -Aiden trying to talk like he was British, Hadley hitting on Cam, etc. I leave out the part about the guys trying to take my necklace. It‘s real y the last thing I want to talk about, and I‘m hoping Hadley knows enough to keep her mouth shut so that tales of Cam‘s fistfight don‘t enter the Santa Anna rumor mill .

―Do you think Hadley was real y flirting with him?‖

Adrianna asks as we get out of the car.

―That‘s the thing,‖ I say, slamming my door and falling into step next to her. ―It was kind of a weird gray area. Like, not enough that I knew for sure that she was doing it on purpose, but not so innocent that I could just ignore it.‖

―Ugh,‖ Adrianna says, shaking her head. ―I hate situations like that.‖

We‘re walking across the lawn over to the football field, and the scent of coffee floats over the midmorning air. I scan the area to see where it‘s coming from, and spot the snack stand that‘s been set up by the Santa Anna cheerleaders.

―Want a coffee?‖ I ask Adrianna. ―It‘s probably disgusting, but at least it‘ll have

caffeine.‖ I slide my hands into the pocket of my hoodie and pull out my gloves. It‘s one of the first real y cool mornings we‘ve had this year, and my fingers are freezing.

―Sure,‖ Adrianna says. ―You want me to grab the seats? Believe it or not, the bleachers can get real y crowded.‖

―Sounds perf,‖ I say. ―See you in a few.‖

She heads off toward the bleachers, and I join the line, inhaling the cool fall air and stamping my feet on the ground to try and keep my toes warm. I wonder if I should buy some of those hand warmer things the cheerleaders are selling and shove them in my shoes.

I‘m definitely going to get a couple of apple cider doughnuts. After what I went through last night, I deserve it. I‘ll get one for Adrianna, too.

―Are the cheerleaders real y that slow?‖ a voice behind me asks. ―The line‘s hardly

moved.‖

I turn around. Brody. He‘s wearing his football uniform, and holding his helmet in one hand.

―Hi,‖ he says. His eyes meet mine, questioning, wondering if I‘m going to tell him to

fuck off.

I hesitate. ―Hi,‖ I say. But I turn back around.

―How are you doing?‖ he asks.

―Shouldn‘t you be in the locker room?‖

―I need my doughnuts,‖ he says. ―Always have two before every game.‖

―Superstitious?‖

―Yeah. Plus it gives me a carb rush.‖ We‘re silent for a minute, and then he says,

―You never answered my question.‖

―What question?‖

―How are you doing?‖

And maybe it‘s because Cam didn‘t real y want to talk about the Hadley thing, or maybe it‘s because even though I don‘t real y trust Brody, he does have some knowledge about this whole thing, or maybe it‘s just because I real y, real y need to talk to someone.

But before I know it, I find myself saying. ―Not so great. Some thugs tried to steal my necklace last night.‖

His eyes flick down to my neck. But I‘m not wearing the necklace today. I decided that if someone real y does want it, that it would be better if I left it at home, where at least it will be safe.

Brody doesn‘t question it. He just nods.

―You don‘t seem surprised,‖ I say.

―I‘m not.‖ He takes a few steps and moves to stand next to me in line. ―It makes sense that she would have sent someone to try and get your necklace.‖

―Raine?‖

He shrugs. ―Who else?‖

―She has her own necklace. I don‘t see why she needs mine.‖

―Because that necklace makes you more powerful,‖

he says simply.

It‘s too obvious of a point to ignore, and I nod reluctantly. So if it‘s Raine who sent those guys, it means she might be somewhere close by. ―Do you know when she‘s coming back?‖

Brody shakes his head. ―But when she comes back, she‘ll be more dangerous than ever.‖

We reach the window and it‘s my turn to order but I‘m too caught up in my thoughts.

The sophomore girl behind the cash box stares at me. ―Well ? What do you want?‖

Brody sees that I‘m not in any shape to be thinking about donuts and orders for both of us. ―Can I get a half dozen? Thanks.‖ He pays her and a moment later she hands him a greasy white paper bag.

―Come here for a second,‖ he says, and leads me away from the crowd and under the

shade of a big elm tree. The leaves on the ground crunch under my feet, and I take a deep breath, trying to calm my frantic thoughts.

―Why does she want to hurt me?‖ I ask Brody. ―I mean, I know it‘s because of Cam,

but…‖

―Natalia,‖ he says. ―You‘re special.‖

―Special?‖ I say. ―Um, yeah, more like some kind of freak.‖ I hate even thinking about what I can do to people, control them with my thoughts. I haven‘t done it since that night with Raine, and I don‘t want to ever have to do it again.

―No.‖ He shakes his head. ―You don‘t understand. I mean, yeah, that‘s part of it, but

you‘re real y special.

Destined for something bigger than this world.‖

―Like what?‖

He doesn‘t answer right away. Instead he grabs my hand and pull s me to the ground,

near the base of the elm tree. He leans back against the trunk and opens the white bag, shakes it and inhales appreciatively. ―Mmm,‖ he says. ―I love the smell of doughnuts before a game.‖

―How can you think about food at a time like this?‖ I say, rolling my eyes. But something about it is comforting, like things can‘t be that bad if Brody‘s getting all excited about doughnuts.

He smiles at me. ―Look, things are going to be real y rough for a while. You better be able to laugh about it or you‘ll drive yourself crazy.‖ He pull s out a donut and hands it to me.

―So tell me what you meant,‖ I say, not eating, just holding it in my hand. ―Tel me about my destiny.‖

―You‘re going to be a leader,‖ Brody tell s me.

―A leader of what? I‘ve never even run for student council.‖

―See? That was funny.‖ He‘s already eaten one doughnut, and he starts in on a second.

―I‘m not joking. I don‘t want to be anyone‘s leader.‖

―Not just a leader,‖ he says. ―A queen.‖

―A queen?‖ I laugh. Brody might have real y lost it.

But he‘s not laughing.

―Yes.‖ He nods. ―And Raine is going to be a queen too. Of the dark. The problem is,

you‘re a lot stronger than her.‖

―Why would that be a problem?‖ I ask. ―If I‘m stronger than her, and she‘s on the bad

side, what‘s the big deal?‖ I final y take a bite of my doughnut. Brody‘s right. It‘s amazing.

―It‘s a big deal to Raine,‖ Brody says. ―That‘s why she needs Cam. If she can forge a

bond with him it creates balance. She becomes your equal.‖

I sit for a moment and try to process what he‘s telling me. ―And that‘s a good thing.‖

He sighs. ―Unfortunately, yes. In the larger scheme of things, Cam and Raine being

together is better than the alternative. If she has Cam, it‘s like a stalemate.

If she doesn‘t, her side will be destroyed.‖

―And you? You want that balance?‖ I ask him.

Al the humor has gone from his face. ―I need to keep the balance.‖

―Why?‖

He shakes his head. ―I can‘t tell you everything, Natalia. A lot of it you‘re going to have to figure out for yourself. But I‘ve been groomed for a while now to understand these things.‖

―So tell me what to do then.‖

―I‘m not all owed to help you,‖ Brody says. ―I have to stay neutral.‖

―And that‘s why you lied to me at the dance. About where Cam was.‖ I look at him.

―You want Cam to end up with Raine. Because you don‘t want a war.‖

He nods. ―I have to be careful,‖ he says, ―It‘s bad enough I told Cam that Raine‘s coming with reinforcements.‖

―You told Cam Raine‘s coming with reinforcements?‖

―Yeah. He didn‘t tell you about our conversation?‖

I shake my head and Brody snorts.

―What a surprise,‖ he says.

I stand up. Brody hands me the bag of doughnuts, and I drop my half eaten one back into it. ―I don‘t understand any of this.‖

Brody gets up, too. ―Raine has friends, Natalia.

People that are more powerful than she is. People who have a bigger stake in this whole thing than she does. People who real y want to hurt you.‖

Inside, I‘m too furious to be scared. I can‘t believe Cam would keep that from me. I turn and start to walk away from Brody, but he reaches out and grabs my elbow.

―Wait.‖

I turn around. He hesitates, just staring at me for a long moment. He seems tortured, like he doesn‘t know what to do. ―I can help you,‖ he says final y.

―How?‖

―I can show you some things,‖ he says, ―To help you fight Raine. To keep yourself safe.‖

―Why would you do that?‖ I ask.

―Because I like you.‖ His voice is strong, and doesn‘t waiver.

―And how do I know I can trust you?‖ I ask.

―Because,‖ he says, ―You don‘t real y have any choice.‖ I don‘t say anything.

―Can I text you later?‖ he asks.

I nod.

***

I have to stand in line at the concession stand again to order the coffees, and so when I final y find Adrianna in the stands, she‘s almost jumping out of her seat. ―You‘re about to miss the kickoff,‖ she says. She accepts the cup of coffee I‘m holding out, and then takes a doughnut out of the bag. ―Yum.‖

I sit down, wedging myself between Adrianna and the large middle-aged man sitting next to her. The bleachers are crowded, and I don‘t have much room.

No one ever got this worked up over football at my old school. It‘s like Friday Night

Lights here. Or Saturday Morning Lights.

We watch the opening kickoff, standing and cheering with everyone else when Santa

Anna returns the ball for great field position.

―So?‖ Adrianna asks once we‘re sitting back down.

―So what?‖ I take a bite of my doughnut. I can‘t believe the cheerleaders made something so delicious. At least, they claimed to have made them.

The sign said homemade. But I‘ll bet they‘re total y store-bought.

―What were you doing talking to Brody?‖ I almost choke on my doughnut. ―It looked

awful intense,‖ she goes on. ―Under a tree, al secretive.‖ She nudges me in the side playful y.

―What would Cam think about that?‖

She‘s teasing, but I feel myself tense up. Because she‘s right. Cam wouldn‘t like the fact that I was talking to Brody. He‘s never real y believed that Brody is trustworthy.

I don‘t real y believe Brody is completely trustworthy either, but I can‘t just sit back and do nothing while random guys try to attack me and Raine rallies her troops.

But what Cam doesn‘t know can‘t piss him off. And if Cam can keep his conversations

with Brody secret, so can I.

―Oh,‖ Adrianna says, her face getting serious. ―I‘m sorry. Was it, like, a bad

conversation?‖

―No,‖ I say quickly, forcing a smile. ―I just haven‘t talked to him since the dance, and so it was kind of awkward, you know?‖

―Yeah.‖ She takes a sip of her coffee. ―But you‘re happy now, right? With Cam?‖

―Of course.‖

―Good,‖ she says.

She turns back to the game. But my mind is racing, and I can‘t concentrate. And by the time the second quarter ends, the scoreboard showing that Santa Anna‘s ahead 14-7, I realize I haven‘t even seen one play.

Chapter Two

Campbell

We win the game 28-7, and afterwards I meet Natalia over by the concession stand. The

cheerleaders are packing up all the food, and a couple of the girls and their moms say hi to me, their eyes wide, big smiles on their faces. ―Great game, Cam!‖ one lady says.

―Thanks,‖ I say, as Natalia gives me a wave. She‘s standing over by the side of the stand, looking uncomfortable. And a little pissed.

It‘s not my fault chicks get starry-eyed when they see me play football . You‘d think it would be awesome but actual y it‘s kind of weird, especial y when older women do it.

And obviously Natalia doesn‘t like it too much. Not that I blame her.

―Hey.‖ I grab her hand and she gives mine a squeeze before pulling away and starting to walk.

―Something wrong?‖ I ask, following.

―Great game, Cam!‖ she says, mimicking the woman.

―Come on, don‘t be that way.‖

―What way?‖

―You seem mad at me or something. You won‘t even look at me. Are you pissed that I

didn‘t text you last night? I was going to, but I didn‘t know if you wanted to talk to me.‖ It‘s the truth. I laid awake last night, wondering if I should text her. But in the end, I decided she needed time to cool off. Obviously that was the wrong decision.

She final y stops walking. ―I can‘t stay that long,‖ she says. ―I‘m going to Chili‘s with Adrianna.‖

I feel like she just punched me in the stomach, and my throat gets al tight. She‘s blowing me off, and it‘s like we‘re back on that same merry go round we were on when this whole mess started. Why can‘t things ever just be simple with us?

―Okay,‖ I say, giving her a nod. ―See you around.‖

She pushes her hair back from her face. ―What?‖

―I get the hint, Nat. So go ahead.‖

―What hint?‖

―You don‘t seem like you real y want to be around me right now.‖ I look off at the

parking lot, where cars are backed up in a line, waiting to pull out.

―Don‘t get al pissy,‖ she says. ―I didn‘t do anything wrong.‖

―Neither did I.‖

She laughs.

―What? I did something?‖

She looks at me and suddenly, I want to kiss her.

Hold her. Go back to my house and watch TV with our feet on the coffee table, eating

pretzels and drinking soda. Just being together. But instead it‘s a big mess, and we‘re both angry.

―You never told me that Brody warned you about Raine,‖ she says, final y. She‘s wearing gloves, and she starts pulling them off, loosening the fingers one by one.

―What does Raine have to do with anything?‖ I ask.