Suspending Reality (37 page)

The ground thundered as scores of men on horses galloped toward her.
Whew, rescue!
Wherever they’d gotten the horses from, she only hoped they were fast enough to rescue Frank, outrun those things, and get her the heck out of the Bigfoot-infested forest. The curious, scientific part of her yearned to stay there and discover more, but without the assistance and backup of her team, she knew it just wasn’t safe.
We’ll just regroup and come back tomorrow,
she reasoned.
Besides, I’ve already got two good shots of a Sasquatch. There’s no way Frank can debunk this one, especially since he’s an eyewitness himself. Where the heck is he anyway?

“Princess, I command you to come out,” a man’s voice said in a most demanding and condescending tone. Not only was he dressed strangely, but he had the pronunciation skills of a bad B movie actor trying to act in a Broadway play.

Princess? A nickname of some sort? They must have me mistaken for somebody else.

“We know you’re here. We heard you scream,” called out the same man. “I’m not going to hurt you. I am here to save your life. There were six of them closing in on you. If you don’t cooperate with us and we leave, you’re as good as dead, and I guarantee you’ll never find your way out of these dreaded woods on your own.”

Right
, she thought.
I found my way in here, and I can find my way out. Do they take me for some kind of idiot?
Still, she knew hiking back to her vehicle by herself, unarmed, might not be so smart with those huge creatures running around. She raised her head a notch and noticed a pair of dirty black leather boots with very unfashionable black bottoms; no member of her team would be caught dead in such an atrocious ensemble. The man, whoever he was, stood less than twenty feet away. She needed to call for help immediately. Something might’ve happened to Frank, and she thought maybe the poorly dressed cavalry could help her.

“Those beasts will tear you limb from limb the second we depart,” continued the man. “You know how territorial the Guardians are, and you know they have the power to destroy our kind. One bite from those ferocious teeth, and that will be it for you.” He paused and then continued. “It was quite the shock to see your brother alive and breathing. Your family did a fantastic job of staging his death. If you want me to keep his secret, then it’s best you come out now. We both know what will happen to him if I were to speak the truth.”

What was he talking about? Sarah rose from her hiding place and gazed up at the man on the dressed horse. His appearance was odd, nothing like any park ranger she’d ever seen. From his royal-blue tunic top, to the emblem of a crowned lion in the center, to his chainmail sleeves, he looked as if he’d been zapped right out of medieval Europe, or maybe that she’d accidentally stepped through some magical wardrobe.
Black satin knickers with boots up to his knees?
she wondered.
This guy is in need of some serious fashion intervention.
She scanned the rest of the group, and it came to her attention that they actually did look like knights in shining armor. For a moment, she wondered if she’d ventured onto a film set, albeit a poorly funded film, considering the D-list acting and the awful costuming.
Maybe there’s some kind of Renaissance Fair nearby.

“You must come with us, Princess,” the man said. “There is no escape!”

No escape?
She decided it might be a safer option to sneak back into the vegetation instead of running off with the crazy eighteenth-century cast party. Just as she was considering it, a twig snapped under her feet. The horse neighed, and the man jerked his head in Sarah’s direction.
Crap! There goes that plan.

She met his gaze and realized he had the bluest eyes and whitest smile she’d ever seen. His black hair was wavy and long, but it was worn in a masculine style. In spite of his ridiculous clothing, she’d be happy to be rescued by him anytime.
Hmm. I wonder what he’s doing after work.

“That’s it, Princess. So glad you’ve decided to come out of hiding, as it’s nice to officially meet you. Now where’s your brother?” he demanded.

Princess? Brother?
The handsome man had it wrong. “You must be mistaking me for somebody else. I don’t have a brother. Listen, I don’t know what that script of yours says, but we have to call 911! I lost my friend. We were being chased by these hairy creatures, and we somehow got separated.”

“Who do you think scared them off, Your Highness?” a knight with long red hair asked.

Your Highness? Would it kill one of them to slip out of character for a second and tell me what the heck’s really going on?
“So you saw them?”

“Of course.”

Witnesses galore! The press is gonna have a field day with this.
Nobody is ever gonna call me an idiot again, she thought.
Especially Frank. Speaking of him…
“Later, I’m going to have to get a statement from every one of you, but in the meantime, could you please make that phone call? Really, this is serious. Get rescue out here right now! My friend could be hurt.”

“Flushing you out was easier than I expected,” the leader said.

“Well, you woulda been hiding, too, if those things were after you. Long story short, I was hunting…er, uh, not real hunting like shooting a buck or anything. I’m a researcher for The Bigfoot Field Researchers Organization, the BFRO. Ever heard of us?” she asked, feeling like a fool for mentioning it to the gorgeous guy in front of her. She was rather sure there was no hope of getting his phone number, if there ever was in the first place, because guys usually ran the other direction when they heard what she did for a living.

A knight looked at the leader, cocking his brow. “Victor, we need to make haste. She must consult with the healer.”

Yep, that’s it. Either I’m nuts or they are. Victor, huh? Hmm. In Latin, that means “conqueror”.  Sexy.
“Listen, I don’t need a doctor—just a little help finding my friend.”

Victor swung lithely from his horse onto the ground.

She gasped at his towering height and muscular build.
Talk about tall, dark, and handsome! Who’d of thought I’d meet this medieval hottie in the middle of some forest on a Bigfoot hunt?
She scanned the stranger and then the horsemen standing behind him. “Any of you got a cell?”

They mumbled amongst themselves, shaking their heads.

Their character acting was beginning to get on her nerves. “Fine, but can one of you give me a ride back to my Jeep? I can call for help there. I think we’re parked about six miles north, near the main road.”

“A cell? A Jeep? What are these strange things she speaks of?” a confused knight asked. “She is delusional, milord. She must be taken to the healer for her head wounds.”

“Delusional or bewitched,” said a knight with a white mustache and matching white hair tied into a ponytail.

“Yes! She is spewing out these lies to mislead us!” called out another.

“Lies? I’m not lying,” Sarah said. “I know it’s a long way back to my vehicle and a big favor to ask, but we’ll get there in no time on one of your horses. Look, I’ll even pay you to make up for your time off the set, but if you’re not going to help me, then please at least get your men to start searching the area. We can cover more ground if we split up into groups and look for Frank. You three can go over that way, and I will go with Victor here to—”

A dangerous glint flickered in Victor’s eyes. “How dare you command us, princess or not?”

She hesitated, taken aback by his rudeness. He looked like Prince Charming, but he sounded more like that caveman from those old dinosaur movies. “Listen, mister. I love movies and all, and if you save me some tickets, I’ll be sure to come watch this little performance of yours.” She tipped her hat. “I promise I’ll even wear something nicer for your big opening weekend and all, but right now, we need to get moving. A man’s life is at stake.”

“Bark out another order like that, miss, and you’ll feel the sting of a whip on your back,” Victor said.

Sarah cringed.
Testy, ain’t he? Pssh! Forget the phone number and the show then, buddy. How about some anger management classes? Or…
A new thought popped in her head, and she glanced around. “A-ha! I got it! I know what you’re up to. Where’s the hidden cameras? You almost had me fooled. Frank’s in on this little
Candid Camera
act, isn’t he? Ooh, I’m gonna kill him. Where have you got him stashed away?”

“You should’ve thought twice before you stepped onto enemy territory,” he said.

“You’re good,” Sarah said, pointing at him. “Stepping on enemy territory is a nice touch. Did your producers put you up to this?”

Victor’s face hardened into grim lines. “You’re now a prisoner of war, Princess Gloria.”

She stared at his stern face and stiffened. “Look…this medieval game you’re playing is kind of cool and all. Love the costumes and the attitude, but I really need a phone. If you’re not playing some kind of joke, then this really is an emergency.”

Victor’s menacing gaze ran over her inch by inch. Stepping closer, he traced a finger down the side of her cheek.

She shoved him back. “Don’t you touch me!”

“How dare you?” he roared. “Are you not aware of who I am?”

Of course she had no idea, nor did she really care. “No. Who
are
you?” The situation was getting out of control. The hot guy was clearly a nutcase, and she’d come to realize that Ashton Kutcher wasn’t going to be jumping out of the bushes anytime soon, announcing that she’d been punk’d by Frank. It was time to run and let them get back to their jousting, or whatever it was they did to earn their pay from the Renaissance Fair payroll office. Especially when she saw one of the knights scanning her up and down, lingering a little too long on the skin exposed where the two upper buttons had been ripped from her shirt by a rather intrusive thorny vine.
Why the heck did I let Frank have our only weapon?
She scolded herself.
What if these medieval jerks decide to take advantage of me out here?
The thought alone sent shivers through her body.
If I scream out here, who’ll even hear me?
She was suddenly sickeningly reminded of every horror film she’d ever seen where stupid teenage girls wandered off alone in the wilderness, and she was none too happy to be that stupid girl. As the knights fanned out and surrounded her, her heart raced.

“Stubborn woman! You know who I am,” Victor said. “Your brother might’ve gotten away, but I’m afraid you are in our possession, whether you like it or not. It is my duty to make you pay for warning Charles and his knights about my trap.”

Mistaken identity was putting it lightly. “I don’t even have a brother,” Sarah said, “and I’m no rat.”

“More lies!” he hissed, his blue eyes blazing. “Did you really think I would fail to find you just because they dressed you up like a man in clothes that blend with the trees? Foolish, foolish girl.”

She huffed. In her line of work, she’d been called plenty of names, but she’d never been mistaken for a male. “A man? Why, because I’m wearing camouflage pants? I’m hunting a creature, not going to the opera. What’d you expect, some strapless mini-dress and stilettos?”

“Milord, with all due respect, the disguise is a rather ingenious idea, perhaps one we should replicate in the future,” the blond guy behind the knight said. “Had the princess not surrendered, we would not have seen her.”

“Surrender? Listen, you’re making a big mistake.” She suddenly remembered she’d left her pepper spray behind, and she regretted that. “I’m not a princess. I don’t know what freaky game you’re playing, but my friend’s going to call the police. And trust me when I say he has lots of connections with the FBI. They’ll be swarming the place any minute!”

Victor smiled. “Is that what you call your knights? I’m afraid we dispatched this FBI hours ago, Highness. That was how we knew they abandoned you somewhere in this forest.” He knocked the fedora off her head and hastily jerked her bunned hair to a disheveled mess. Tousles of long brown hair tumbled down the middle of her back.

“I told you not to touch me!” she yelled, drawing her hand up to slap him.

He caught her wrist. “Do not ever threaten to attack me, Princess, and you must cease with giving orders to those who have you in custody.” A fiery blue flame burned behind his eyes.

Loosening his grip, she yanked her hand away. She realized that smacking him wasn’t going to help her one tiny bit; all things considered, running sounded like a much better option. She glanced around for the best escape route, but it was no use, for she was completely surrounded. Her mind raced, terrified to think about what they might try to do to her.

Victor tugged at her holster and pulled out her radio to examine it. “What kind of magic device is this?”

“Idiot,” Sarah whispered under her breath, rolling her eyes. “It’s a radio. I know it’s not the newest Sony type, all slick and thin and whatnot, but give me a break. Pretending you don’t know what it is, is just…lame.”

Victor raised an eyebrow. “A radio, you say? Is that a weapon of some sort?”

“No. It’s for communication.” Boy, was she getting tired of this role-playing. “You know, you talk into it, and someone else’s voice comes out.”