Surviving Raine 01 (34 page)

“See?” I said when I managed to steady myself a bit.

“I see you barely standing on a leg that really shouldn’t be holding your weight yet,” Raine argued back.

“Bullshit,” I responded.  I took an unsteady step forward, and my leg buckled, but I didn’t fall.  Raine’s arm went around my waist, but I pushed it away.  “I don’t need any fucking help!”

“Oh, for goodness sake, Bastian!” Raine yelled.  “You most certainly do!”

“I do not,” I growled back.  “I don’t need it, and I certainly don’t fucking want it!”

We argued for another ten minutes before she finally gave up on my stubborn ass and went over to the fire, muttering to herself about
unreasonable idiots
.  I hobbled around the area right outside the shelter, making sure there was something at least somewhat sturdy near me at all times so I didn’t fall over.  I was fucking pissed, though I wasn’t exactly sure why.  There were too many things in my head for me to sort out.  There were the dreams, being out of it and useless for three days, and my failure to completely protect her.  I should never have left her alone.  I should have been back to the beach faster.  I should have…

My mind continued to list all the points where I had fucked up.

As I walked…well…
limped
around on my leg, Raine shot looks of death over at me every couple of minutes, but I pretended not to notice.  It really, really, fucking hurt to walk, but damn if I wasn’t going to do it anyway.

“Get up, you son-of-a-bitch!  You aren’t hurt that bad!  Fucking GET UP!”

I shook my head to free it of Landon’s echoing words and settled myself down on the opposite side of the fire, smiling up at Raine with a self-satisfied grin.  She rolled her eyes and used two blackened sticks to pull cooked sweet potatoes from their resting places on top of hot rocks.

“Are you just going to smirk at me now?” she asked.

“Maybe,” I answered with a shrug.  I received another eye roll from Raine as she placed the hot vegetables and some dried fish on a couple of large clamshell plates and came around to sit next to me.  We ate in relative silence, but it wasn’t uncomfortable or anything.  I’d smirk when she looked over to me and then she’d roll her eyes and eventually laugh.

After we ate, I relented and let her check out the cut on my leg.  I decided it was probably doing well enough to go without the Lobelia poultice, which wasn’t a popular decision.  Raine argued briefly, but I managed to talk her out of putting it back on for now by saying she could put it back on at night.  I honestly didn’t know if it was healed up enough or not, but it didn’t look too bad, and trying to walk around was hard enough without that shit on me.  I’d let her slather me up again before we went to sleep if she was going to insist on it. Besides, I didn’t want her wearing those stretchy shorts.  I wanted her back in my boxers.

When I tried to stand back up from sitting down for so long, I didn’t do so well.  I didn’t actually fall, but I didn’t get up on the first try, either.  Raine came to my side and tried to help me again, but I didn’t want it.  I wasn’t used to help like that and honestly, having her argue about putting the poultice shit on me was pushing it.  If I could have reached it myself, I wouldn’t have let her do it at all.

“Cut that shit out!” I snarled at her as she tried to wrap her arm around my waist and help me balance.

“I’m just trying to help!”

“I know – cut that shit out!  I don’t want any fucking help!”

She sighed and backed off.  After another hour of stumbling in the sand, I stripped a sturdy limb off one of the trees and made myself a walking stick.  I didn’t admit that I needed one or anything; I just said I liked having it.

Another eye roll.

I used the stick to lower myself down to the floor of the shelter and tried not to grimace as I put more pressure on my leg.  Raine brought me some water to drink and then started weaving a bunch of fronds together.  I looked over to the far side of the shelter and saw several things she had made, including four rectangular, flat mats, which you could probably sit on or place your food on to keep the sand away from it.  There was a misshapen, short-sided, roundish basket on top of the mats, and it looked like Raine was trying to make another basket now.  She had the bottom woven and was trying to curve a piece of coconut palm frond around to the side of the flat part to start the sides of the basket.

“The first one didn’t work out so well?” I inquired, feeling strangely timid about asking.  Raine looked up at me and scowled as I pointed over to the misshapen basket.

“This is a lot harder than it looks,” Raine said but didn’t sound angry or anything.  “I remember making baskets and such from art classes in school, but the material was all uniform and easier to work with.  Trying to make these fronds into a square basket didn’t work at all.”

“That was supposed to be square?” I chuckled.

“Don’t push your luck,” Raine snapped but then smiled.  “You know how to do everything.  Can’t you weave a basket?”

“Never have,” I admitted, “but I think you are doing great!”

“Uh huh.”  Raine shook her head and started weaving again.

“I’m going to start on the shelter again,” I told her.

“Not yet,” Raine said.  Her tone was completely straightforward and dismissive.  She wasn’t interested in hearing any arguments from me.  I was going to argue anyway.

“I’m perfectly capable of doing shit, you know,” I snapped.

“Normally, of course you are,” Raine replied, “but you need to give yourself a chance to heal more.  You might get sick again.”

“I’m not going to get sick again,” I said.  “I’m also not going to fucking sit around watching you make shit while I do nothing.”

“Feel free to try your hand at weaving,” she said, pointing to the large stack of stripped fronds.

“Fuck that.  I’m working on the fucking shelter.”  I reached over for the walking stick and started to push myself up until Raine’s voice reached my ears again.

“Bastian?”  I had to stop because her tone was no longer snippy or angry.  When I looked back over my shoulder, I could see the beginning of tears in her eyes.  “Please don’t.  I know you want to, and I know you don’t like not being able to be physical, and I know you don’t want help, but you scared me when you were so sick.  Please,
please
take it easy.  Okay?”

Fuck me.  Seeing those tears in her eyes made me want to drop down and give her anything and everything she wanted whether I wanted to or not.  That pissed me off, but not at her, just at myself.  I closed my eyes for a moment and took a deep breath before opening them again.

“Fine,” I grumbled, feeling like shit because I really didn’t mean to upset her.  I pushed myself up from the ground using the walking stick and stepped out of the shelter.  She had to sleep sometime – I could always work on shit then.  I took a few steps out into the sand before sitting down next to the fire.  I tossed a few little bits of sticks and debris into the coals and watched them flame up but bored of that quickly.

I wanted a fucking drink.

I looked out over the beach and noticed a dark spot close to the tide’s edge.  It was the charcoal remains of the bonfire I had made before the fever hit.  I could tell there weren’t any human remains lying around out there and wondered what happened to them.

“What did you do with them?” I asked, just loud enough for her to hear me.

“With what?”

“The…um…bones and shit.”

“I buried them,” she answered simply.

My head snapped back to look at her.

“You did?  Where?”

“On the north side of the beach,” she said.  “Up near the edge of the jungle.  I didn’t really want them very close.  I used the oar to dig a hole – just like we did for the solar still.  I didn’t dig it deep enough to…um…bury them all, and they…they didn’t all fit in one…um…grave…so I dug two.”

“Shit, baby – I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“You shouldn’t have had to do that.”  I murder four bastards and she has to clean up after me.  Fucking lovely.

“I didn’t want them…just
sitting
there.  You weren’t in very good shape at the time to help out.”

“I know – that’s what I meant.”

“Stop it.”

“Stop what?”

“Stop beating yourself up for something you couldn’t control.” Raine tilted her head and raised her eyebrows, daring me to argue with her.

“I could have controlled it,” I said, rising to the challenge.  “I shouldn’t have let that motherfucker cut me.”

“Bastian, there were four of them.”

“It doesn’t fucking matter how many there were!” I yelled.  I didn’t really mean to be yelling at her, but she jumped back anyway.  Images from my dreams flittered past my conscious mind.  I slammed my fist against the sand and wished to God I had a fucking bottle of fucking
anything
.  “I should have moved faster.  I should have killed him with the first fucking punch.  I should have ripped his goddamn throat out for fucking touching you, and I should have fucking been there when they showed up so none of that shit would have happened at all!”

She was beside me before I was done screaming, and at first I considered pushing her away.  I wanted to because I didn’t deserve to have her next to me in the first place.  I’d let her down.  She could have been killed or had something far, far worse happen.  I fucking let her down.  I wasn’t there for her.  The last thing she should offer me was any comfort.  I wasn’t there when she needed me.

But there she was, kneeling in the sand next to me and wrapping her arms around my head, holding me against her chest while she stroked the side of my face with her fingertips.  I squeezed my eyes shut and wrapped my arms around her.  I buried my face in the spot between her neck and her shoulder.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there,” I mumbled.  “I should have been there.  They never should have touched you.  I’ll never, never let anyone hurt you again, Raine.  I swear to God.  Never!”

“Shh, Bastian.”  Raine’s hand stroked over my hair, around my ear, and down my rough jaw.  “It’s all right.  I’m all right, and you will be, too.  You saved me, Bastian.  You saved me from them.”

“They…they…” I swallowed hard, trying to figure out why words wouldn’t come out of my mouth.  My hands were shaking, so I held her tighter, trying to stop the rush of adrenaline running through my system, but it didn’t help.  My heart rate increased, and I was close to hyperventilating.  Through pants, I pushed out some words, but I probably didn’t make any fucking sense.  “They never…they shouldn’t have come so close to you…I’m sorry…I’m sorry…I should have been there faster.  I never…should have left you…those fucking bastards fucking touching you…”

“Bastian, please, calm down,” her voice whispered into my ear.  “I’m okay.  You saved me.  They didn’t hurt me, Bastian.  You were there in time.”

“But it was so close…I keep seeing them…in my dreams…and they’re…they’re…
hurting
you, and I can’t get to you.”

“Oh, Bastian…”  I felt both her arms wrap around my head as she started to rock slightly back and forth, telling me over and over again that it was only a dream.  She was safe.  I had saved her.  They hadn’t touched her like that.

“I want you,” I breathed against her skin.  “I need you…please, Raine…”

Everything was blurred, and I wasn’t even sure how she managed to strip off her shorts so quickly and without letting go of me.  My hands grasped at her back, holding her against my chest as much as I could.  I felt her hand releasing the buttons on my shorts, which she pushed down just far enough to be out of the way.  A moment later she was pushing against my shoulders until I lay on my back in the sand.  She straddled me, gripped my cock by the base, and guided me into her.

We hadn’t been like this before – with her on top of me.  I preferred her under me with me in control.  I don’t know why – I just did.  We hadn’t even tried it any other way.  This was…different…and as soon as my shoulders hit the ground, I felt a shift in my head, and I went with it.  My eyes closed as her body enveloped me, and I let my mind go blank so I could just feel.  I felt her flesh, her warm breath, and the deeper, internal connection that had nothing to do with the placement of our bodies.  I felt my desire for her, and I felt her love for me as she leaned forward and ran her hands over my shoulders and neck before fingering my jaw line.  I felt everything as I let her take me – mind, body and soul.  I didn’t know if she wanted it or needed it like I did, but I gave it to her anyway.

I lay my head back and placed my hands on her hips and let her set the pace as she raised herself up just enough for me to slip out of her about halfway.  Then she brought our bodies back together, burying me in her warmth.  I didn’t know how long she moved on top of me, owning me on a deeper level every time she brought me inside of her, but by the time I released into her, I was completely spent in more ways than I could possibly name.

* * * * *

Pointing my toes out as far as I could, I grimaced through the tight pain in my lower thigh.  I brought my knee up to my chest and felt more of the sting from the healing cut.  It was better; I could clearly see that today.  Raine insisted it was because I finally listened to her and stayed off it most of yesterday and today, but I didn’t buy that shit.

I didn’t tell her I didn’t buy it; I let her believe what she wanted.

After completing all the physical therapy exercises I could remember from the multiple times I had been cut, bruised, battered, or broken, I sat in the sand and watched the waves for a little while as the sun started sinking lower and lower.  I had taken it easy again today because tomorrow I was going to get moving on the new shelter whether Raine liked it or not.

As if she could hear what I was thinking, Raine walked up behind me with a new batch of infection curing paste, wearing a smile and nothing else.  Nakedness seemed to have become her preference, which fucking thrilled me.  When I was in a little better shape and able to move around more, I was definitely going to take advantage of that shit.  Probably a dozen times a day.  My cock responded regardless of the physical shape I was in and usually liked to make his presence known as soon as her tits got into view.  I tried not to look any lower because busting out of my shorts would suck.  They were all I had.