Surviving Elite High (10 page)

“Don't feel that way, Nick. I think you and Jess make a ravishing couple.”

Nick sighed as he lay down beside me. He pulled me in with one arm. I automatically lay my head on his shoulder and hugged him. At that moment, a weird feeling rushed through my entire body. It was as if I belonged to him.

“Remember the last time I held you like this? You were dying in my arms and I didn't know how to keep your spirit up.”

I nodded as I tried to hold back my tears.

“I also promised you that I’d never let anyone hurt you again. I'm hurting you now and for that, I'm sorry.”

I cried even more while he hugged me tighter.

“It's not your fault, Nick. It's my fault because I shouldn't feel this way towards you. It's not natural. We are from two different worlds. Please don't walk away from me! I rather die than lose your friendship.”

“No, that'll never happen,” Nick reassured me as he hugged me tighter. “You're my best friend.”

Nick stayed with me that night, but nothing happened. We slept in the same bed, fully clothed. Nick held me all night though. I was in heaven for those couple of hours. His body was warm, soft yet firm. His chest's muscles made the perfect pillow for my head. I knew where I belonged, but I also knew that he did not feel the same way. I woke up in the middle of the night and gently ran my hand across his chest and lean abdomen. I wanted to go lower, but I could not abuse his hospitality. Cuddling with a gay guy would be a huge sacrifice for any straight guy who was not comfortable with his own sexuality. Nick was comfortable enough, though. I slowly fell asleep again. I didn’t have a single nightmare that night. I felt relaxed and happy to be inside his arms.

When my six o'clock alarm rang, I sat up. Nick was long gone. I lay down again and ran my hand across the spot where he had slept. I could still smell him and feel him. Suddenly, the door swung open.

“Rise and shine!” my mom shouted.

“Mom!” I exclaimed as I realized that I was still living under her roof.

“Yes, or were you expecting someone else?” she asked me as she walked towards my bed.

“No, it's just that…” I murmured as she sat down beside me.

“You thought I was Nick?”

“No. Have you…seen him?”

“Yes, he left a few minutes ago. I made him breakfast.”

“You did?” I asked her as I lowered my head in shame.

She smiled and lifted my head up with her caring hand.

“Don't be ashamed, honey. I know that you and Nick did nothing inappropriate. I kept an eye on you just in case.”

I could not laugh at her joke. My heart was pounding against my chest. There was no doubt in my mind that she knew I was gay.

“Mom I…I didn't want you to find out this way or disappoint you.”

“Why would you disappoint me, sweetie?” she asked as she wiped my tears.

“I just thought you…you'd hate me.”

“Hate you?” she asked me as she hugged me. “I will never hate you. You're my one and only son and I'll love you unconditionally until the end of time.”

I started crying inconsolably. I cried inside her arms until she pulled away from me. She stared into my eyes and wiped my tears away.

“I knew that you loved him before I even met him. You'd smile with your eyes whenever we'd talk about him, but I was waiting for you to tell me.”

“I do love him, but he's straight, Mom. He has a girlfriend too.”

“I know. He told me during breakfast.”

“You see! Nick will never love me, but I'm happy with just being his friend.”

She smiled warmly and kissed my forehead.

“That's the definition of true love. You let it go and if it ever comes back, it was meant to be.”

“There'll never be an us, Mom. That could only happen if I were a girl.”

“True, but love is a strange mystery that no one has been able to solve.”

“I know, but Nick's love will always be different than mine. He loves me like a little brother.”

“Very true, but let time dictate what happens next. Try to look for love elsewhere. What if you're missing out on a very special person because you're only focusing on sexy Nick?”

She made me laugh, but she was right. What if true love had been staring me in the face all this time, but I was too blind to see it? I should look for love elsewhere. Maybe just then, I could find it and be happy.

“You're right, Mom. You always are.”

“A mother knows best. I just want you to love and be loved. Only then will you find the true meaning of happiness. Now, get up and hit the shower. You have a long day ahead of you.”

I nodded. She stood up and kissed my forehead. As she walked out, I stared at her in awe. My mother was special because she lifted my spirit whenever it was down and gave me the weapons to continue fighting. I was ready for anything.

Chapter Seven

I stood once again at the entrance of school, but this time, everyone was staring at me. Some were smiling, and many were talking discretely on the sidelines. Many rumors circulated as to why Matthew tried to kill me. A few even blamed me. None of them said anything to my face though. They just stood looking at me. I would have preferred that they shared their feelings towards me openly instead of doing 'the stop and stare.' I felt completely alone and vulnerable. Suddenly, someone stood beside me. I looked up to see Jacob. He smiled meekly and placed his hand over my shoulder. With a small tug, he pulled me into him. While everyone stared in awe, we made our way through the crowded hallway. I spotted Nick with Jessica inside his arms. He was kissing her. I lowered my head and looked away.

“Everything's going to be fine,” Jacob murmured into my ear.

I answered him with a faint smile. I turned to Nick. Jessica was standing beside him, looking angrily at us. Nick was doing the same. He shook his head as he walked away. I lowered my head and continued walking along with Jacob. He left me in front of my locker since he had to get to class early. I tried my best to remember the combination, but for some reason, I was too nervous to function properly.

“Hey stranger,” Nick told me as he sneaked up from behind me.

“Oh, hey Nick,” I answered as I finally opened the small compartment.

“Be careful.”

“About?”

“Jacob. I don't like or trust that guy.”

“I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt,” I told him while I packed my schoolbag. “He's willing to change. Once upon a time, a jock like him came to me for help and he turned out to be a pretty decent guy.”

Nick smiled.

“I'll keep an eye on him. I know he's up to no good.”

“I'll keep my guard up too,” I assured him as I closed my locker.

I turned to the spot where Matthew shot me. Every memory of that day rushed through my mind. I saw him pointing at me, pulling the trigger, everyone running away and Mr. Wright fighting for his life. Tears filled my eyes as I stared at that significant spot. Nick glanced back, hugging me in front of everyone as I cried.

“Everything's going to be okay. Come on, let's get to class.”

I parted ways with him while I dried my eyes.

“Will you walk me to class?” Jessica asked as she came up from behind him.

Nick pulled her away from me. He took her to a safe distance and Jessica became upset after Nick told her something. She gave me an angry look. I immediately looked away. They were arguing, but I couldn’t hear what they were saying. When she pointed angrily at me, I knew I had to leave. I turned around and walked to class. My knees were shaking. My stomach rumbled. I felt nauseous, and wanted to throw up.

“You didn't wait for me,” Nick stated as he caught up with me.

“Oh! I didn't want to cause any problems with you and Jess.”

“What problems? Let me tell you something, my friends come first. Jess will have to accept that sooner or later. If she doesn't, the door is wide open for her to walk out.”

I smiled and realized that we were standing in front of our class. We crossed the spot where all my memories were tied together. Nick pushed the door open and led me inside. Madison, Kitty and the entire class welcomed me back.

* * *

Pretty soon, everything went back to normal since no one wanted to stir up the past. They wanted to forget that Matthew ever existed. It was on Nick's ninth consecutive win that things got a little interesting. I had the house to myself since my mom was visiting my sick grandma up north. By now, everyone in school knew that Nick and Jessica were a couple. Girls would still line up for Nick’s attention, but he would politely decline their offers of hot and steamy sex. Madison and Kitty didn’t talk about 'Nick and Jessica' because they knew how much that hurt me. Not even Nick mentioned her during our tutoring sessions. Jacob and I became close friends, though. We would talk whenever Nick wasn’t around. Nick would get extremely irritated whenever I mentioned Jacob. I avoided his name like the plague in front of him.

“So, are we going to the Elite Hawk's game tonight?” Madison asked.

It was a beautiful Thursday night. Madison was driving her Jeep while Kitty sat on the passenger seat. I quietly sat on the back seat listening to their conversation.

“Count me in,” Kitty responded as she turned to me.

“I don't know.”

“Come on, it's their ninth game! If they win, they'll be division champions,” Madison stated as she glanced at me through the rear-view mirror.

“Yeah,” Kitty answered. “Besides, you've never been to one of Nick's game.”

“Neither have you guys,” I answered, smiling.

“That's not the point,” Kitty replied quickly.

“Yeah, imagine dirty and sweaty Nick jogging all over the field, bulging in the right places and tackling other dirty boys. That's like soft-core porn,” Madison added with a smile.

We laughed. Madison was uniquely funny. Those were the perfect words to describe her.

“Fine,” I agreed as they let loose thrills of excitement.

Madison immediately turned the Jeep around. We headed to the mall to kill some time since the game was scheduled for six o'clock. It was inside the mall where Jacob approached us. We were having a milk shake at Kitty's favorite ice cream shop when he spotted us and walked over to our table.

“Mind if I join you?”

“Not at all,” Kitty replied with a smile.

The girls had softened up to Jacob since they saw his huge effort to change. I was glad because with Nick around, we would not have the time to socialize.

“How come Nick isn’t around?”

“He has a game tonight,” Madison answered as she glanced at a cute guy across the shop.

“Oh, that's tonight? I thought it was tomorrow.”

“Nope, they changed the date,” Kitty answered.

“Are you going?” Jacob asked me.

“Yes, for a while.”

“For a while? You said that you'll go with us,” Madison replied.

“Exactly. I said I'll go, but I didn't say how long.”

“You little slut!”

“Why for a while?” Kitty asked.

“I don't like sports. Besides, I don't even know how you play American football.”

“Well, I'm not leaving until that game is over,” Madison told me. “I guess you'll walk.”

“I can give you a ride if you want,” Jacob suggested.

“Don't encourage him,” Kitty answered, smiling.

Jacob chuckled. Suddenly, Madison spoke.

“Oh, my God! Kitty look! It's Roger. Melanie's boyfriend and he’s with another girl!”

“Shut the fuck up! No way! Come on! Let's follow them!”

“What? Are you crazy?” I asked as they stood up.

“Don't worry, we'll be right back! Keep an eye on him, Jacob!” Kitty shouted as they briskly walked towards the door.

Jacob turned to me with a smile.

“Those are some really hyperactive friends.”

“I know, but I love them that way. I wouldn't change them for the world.”

“That's great to know. So, after the game, do you want to go and see a movie?”

“With you?”

“Yeah, why not? We could see the new Harry Potter movie.”

“You like Harry Potter?”

“Who doesn't like Harry Potter?”

“I thought you'd be more of a Twilight fan since you're all mysterious.”

“That horrible version of a chick flick mixed with sun-loving vampires? Hell no!”

“I know! How can a vampire walk in the sun? Where have you heard that before?”

“Exactly! Or a werewolf that looks like a giant dog? Where in the world have you seen that?”

We laughed.

“Does that mean that you'll go?”

“Sure, why not?”

The door opened again and the girls walked in looking more excited than ever.

“We've got to go or we'll be late,” Kitty announced as she pulled my arm.

“Okay, bye Jacob and see you after the game!” I shouted as Kitty dragged me through the door.

“Call him!” Madison added.

“I will! See you, John,” he answered, smiling.

We immediately headed to Nick's game. Truthfully, I was excited. I wanted to see Nick running up and down the field while I admired his beauty and grace with a football in his hands. Even though hundreds of spectators filled the benches, we managed to find a few empty seats near the middle. The cheerleaders were entertaining the crowd while the band played the Elite Hawk's anthem. I saw Allison cheering the crowd along with the rest of the cheerleaders. She was not the same after Nick left her and broke her heart. She was often alone because she parted ways with her 'friends.' I felt her pain. We wept over the same man who had stolen our hearts and shattered them into pieces.

“Ladies and gentlemen, get ready to rumble!!” the sportscaster announced as his voice resounded throughout the field. The crowd went wild. “Welcome to the duel between the Elite Hawks and the Newton Giants!! And now, the moment we've all been waiting for, presenting to you, the visitors: the Newton Giants!!”

The crowd cheered as the team made their way through a banner that was held by their cheerleaders. The Elite Hawks’ cheerleaders came out running with plastic smiles on their faces.

Isabelle and Samantha, who were wearing their traditional black-and-white outfits, held another banner with the team's name on it, while Allison cheered the crowd on the sidelines with the rest of the cheerleaders.