Surviving Day by Day (Book 3): Still They Come (27 page)

Colt looked around the room, “Yeah, I guess you’re right, not sure what I would do tonight.”

He followed Beth to the table and watched as she shuffled the cards, “Does it hurt to use your hand?”

“Just a little, it is getting worse and I know that. I think the fever is starting too.”

Colt reached over, placing his hand on her forehead, “It is… You know it won’t be much longer, right?”

Beth started dealing the cards, “I know, but if I can document how this actually feels, it could be helpful.”

Colt grabbed his cards to avoid her look, “Yeah, cause we have run into so many scientists and doctors in the last year.”

Beth smirked, “Very funny, smart ass, the point is you don’t know who you will run into. Just think about the radio Alden and Charlie have been listening in on. We know there are other groups; Alden has it narrowed down to three that he is really watching.”

Colt jerked his eyes back to hers, “He told you that? Is he wanting to leave?” Colt questioned.

Beth shook her head, “He doesn’t have to, I watch and I listen. I don’t know if he wants to leave, but it would be a good idea.”

Colt began to sort his cards, “yeah it will. We have stayed here too long. Hope they make it ok.”

“They? Why did you say they, Colt?”

“I meant we, just said they because we were talking about Alden and Charlie. You don’t need to start reading into things.”

Beth knew he was lying; she had been around him day in and day out for a year. She also knew better than to try and confront Colt, she would simply talk to Alden tomorrow. Beth laid down three kings and discarded, “Your turn.”

After a few hands were played in silence, Colt stood up, finishing his glass of water, “I’m going to walk outside just to make sure everything is quiet. Be right back.”

Beth sat back as she threw her hand on the table. She watched Colt walk out the door. She wondered if Colt would really do what he was thinking. Beth knew that Jessica was hard for him, and to have to go through it again, was asking a lot. Beth moved to the window to see if she could see Colt. He was leaning against a tree watching the full moon. Beth leaned her forehead on the window, not just to rest but for the coolness of the glass. She began to wonder if it was fair to ask Colt to go through it again. She just thought he was stronger now, but what if she was wrong. The problem was that Beth looked at things as a scientist, she hadn’t thought about how Colt would be seeing it. She watched as he pushed off the tree to come back in, as Beth went to sit back down.

Colt came in and plopped down in his chair, “We need to talk, I don’t ever want to do this again. I think you are forcing me to go through it this time, but that is neither here nor there. You made your choice and I will accept it, but now you have to accept mine. I am opting out of this hell hole. I refuse to ever go through this again. If I stick around, then I will just have to watch the others get killed off. It is only a matter of time. Look at everything that has happen so far. First Jessica, then Heath, even Niz, and now you. It will happen to the rest of us, we all know it. I won’t watch anyone else and won’t make anyone watch it happen to me.”

Beth started to interrupt but Colt held up his hand, “Let me finish. I took the choice away from Jessica and forced her to continue as one of those things, in hopes of a cure. Obviously, it never came, and I had to do what I should have done the minute she asked me to. I didn’t think I could go on without her, I don’t think I could have, if I hadn’t met you. Now I am facing the same thing again, watching the woman I love descend into darkness. I will do this for you because I do love you, but once it is over, I will do what I have to.”

Beth nodded, “Are you done?”

“Yeah, but you won’t talk me out of this.”

Beth shook her head, “I wasn’t going to, I have made my choice, and you will have to make yours. I want you to think about what we have been through. It hasn’t been all bad, though most have been, but there are good memories too. That is what I want to focus on. That is what I ‘choose’ to have in my mind till the time comes for me.”

“And speaking of that, when the time does get close, I will be the one to end things. I would never ask any of you to do that.”

Beth leaned onto the table, “You opting out is a coward’s move that I wouldn’t expect from you. It isn’t right for you to take your own life. Jessica fought and so am I, but you just want to give up. I am not saying that I don’t get it, that it doesn’t make sense. What I am saying is that this group is already down three people and you want to take them down by one more.”

Colt shrugged, “You said that Alden has found groups to join, so I won’t need to worry, will I?”

Beth slammed her hand on the table, “They will have to get to that group, Colt! They will need as many eyes and hands as they can get. Why do you refuse to see that?”

Alden clearing his throat, drew their attention, Beth got up; “Oh my gosh, has it been two hours already... I didn’t even notice.”

Tabitha came down the hall stretching, “I could have used more sleep.” As if to prove this, she did an exaggerated yawn.

Alden smiled at her, “Well you are in luck; I think Colt is going to want to have watch with me, so you are off the hook.”

Tabitha stopped and looked around the room and noticed the tension, “What’s up, Beth?”

Beth quietly walked across the room and wrapped her arm around Tabitha, “I’m fine, stop fussing over me. Colt just is wired tonight for some reason.”

Tabitha gave both Colt and Alden a look, “Oh well, more sleep for me… nighty night!” She allowed Beth to lead her back down the hall to go back to bed.

Alden went to the kitchen to get his coffee then came back into the room. Leaving Colt sitting at the table, he went to his recliner. “Are you going to join me over here, or did you want to make sure everyone knows just what you are planning?”

Colt hung his head and got up to join Alden. “Honestly, Alden, this isn’t any of your business.”

Alden laughed an eerie laugh, “Boy, if you think I give a rat’s ass if you opt out or not, you really don’t know me at all.”

Colt’s confused look made Alden laugh more, “If you want to opt out, then opt out… I don’t care. What I do have a problem with, is you trying to make that lady feel guilty or responsible for your choices.” Alden leaned forward with his elbows on his knees, holding his coffee in both hands. “You are going to tell that woman that you changed your mind. That you and I had a nice little man to man, touchy feely, happy horse shit talk, and guess what, you saw the light.”

Colt shook his head, “I never said…”

“Did I stop talking, or ask your thoughts? No, I don’t think so. Now, you are going to do just what I said and once this is over for her, I will shoot you myself, if you still want to be a whiney bitch and take the pussy way out. But until that time comes, you are going to support her, cater to her, and just pretty much kiss her ass. Do I make myself clear?”

Colt smirked, “And if I don’t? I’m not going to lie to her. What are you going to do? Kill me?”

Alden cocked an eyebrow, “No, but let me remind you, there are worse things that can happen to a guy before death. If you hurt her, I will make your life hell till she goes. Does that make it a little clearer for you?”

Colt looked into Alden’s eyes and knew he meant every word, “Okay, fine… I will do it your way, but if she reads through me, I can’t help that.” Colt stood up, “Are we done?”

Alden simply nodded, Colt walked away wondering just how he would pull off this act. Deep down he knew it would only be a day before she would have to be put down but that was not something he wanted to focus on. Alden’s voice pulled Colt to a stop, “What now, I told you ok?”

Alden held out a pair of handcuffs, “I want her protected from herself and to protect us, just in case, she will understand. You can tell her that was part of our talk.”

Colt took the handcuffs and walked down the hall. As he walked in the bedroom, Beth was still up with her journal on her lap. She looked up and smiled, “I didn’t know if I should come save you or just let Alden help you opt out.”

Colt gave a weak smile, “Well, I survived the talk just like I survived everything else, by the skin of my teeth.”

Beth laughed, “Come lay down, you must be worn out.” She glanced to his hand and saw the handcuffs, “hmmm, I was wondering when Alden would want to protect everyone from me.”

Colt held them out, “I’m glad you know this wasn’t my idea.”

As she wrapped the first cuff around her wrist, she broached the elephant in the room, “So, what did you decide? Did Alden make you want to end things quicker or change your mind?”

Colt relaxed back on the pillow putting his arm behind his head, “I have to stick this out, and I have to live for you and Jessica. I just will never love again, I can’t risk it.”

With the second cuff secured to the headboard, Beth turned to cuddle into Colt’s shoulder but soon found out that the handcuffs wouldn’t allow it. Colt looked over to the cuff, then into Beth’s eyes, “Lay on your side, I’ll wrap around you.”

Beth shook her head, “No, Colt… the handcuffs just made me realize the danger I am putting you into. What if I change in the middle of the night? Things are getting worse, I can feel it. You even said how fast it could happen. I want you to go sleep on the couch, please don’t argue with me. I would hate myself in the next life for things I did here if you stayed and got hurt.”

Colt scooted down into the bed as he turned toward her, “I will in a little bit, but just let me hold you for a little while tonight. I don’t think we will have this chance again.”

Beth turned over and snuggled close to him, “I love you, please don’t give up because of me.”

“I love you too, I promise to try to look at things different.”

Charlie woke up with the sun shining in his eyes. As he moved to get up, Ceara moaned, “Honey, you okay?”

Charlie leaned over and kissed her head, “yeah, I’m just going to get up.”

Getting out of bed, he threw on a pair of jeans and he opened the door.

Alden was standing in the hall looking into Colt and Beth’s room. “Pervert…” Charlie said quietly, as he passed by him.

Alden turned and smiled as Charlie reached the bathroom, “Just checking to make sure neither of them is putting anything in their mouths they're not supposed to.”

Charlie slapped his hand over his mouth to keep from bursting out laughing, “Damn Alden,” he said has he closed the door.

Charlie walked into the kitchen a few minutes later, poured a cup of coffee then joined Alden at the table. As he sat looking through the large kitchen window out across the desert, he saw a couple of wanderers aimlessly moving around.

“You think they’ll come towards us?” he asked.

Alden sipped his coffee, “I doubt it. I’ve been watching them for about a half hour or so, ever since the sun came up. They bump into each other than change direction, but they haven’t made any progress.”

Ceara joined Charlie and Alden, she watched the wanderers for a minute, “They are acting different. They never just kept bumping into each other,” Ceara said.

Suddenly one of the wanderer’s legs just snapped and he fell over and began to crawl across the land. “What the hell was that?”

Alden took a couple of steps out, “I think those are older ones, they are starting to decompose. The bones are giving out. The good news is that they are starting to die off, or I should say give out. I just wish we knew how old they are.”

The three walked out to the patio for a better look, Charlie leaned on one of the oak posts of the patio, “You think they are one of the first infected?”

“I’m thinking so, otherwise we should have seen more like that. I’m sure many others are doing it, since we are out here, we don’t see it,” Alden reasoned.

Ceara watched the wanderer continue to try to stand but the leg wouldn’t hold him, “Should we go put it out of its misery?”

Charlie stepped off the patio, “I’ll do it.”

As Charlie headed out, Ceara went back in the house. As she passed Colt and Beth’s room, she saw Beth sitting up writing in a notebook, “Good Morning!”

Beth put a finger to her lips, and then pointed to the sleeping Colt. Ceara smiled and lowered her voice, “How are you doing?”

“I was just jotting that down, it’s getting worse and honestly I think this is going to have to stay.” Beth held up the wrist that was handcuffed to the headboard. Ceara got a look of shock, “Why did Colt handcuff you to the bed?”

Colt woke up and stretched, “Wasn’t me, it was Alden.”

Ceara came into the bedroom, as Colt got up and pulled on his jeans, “I’m going to get coffee, you want any?”

Beth smiled, “No, but some water, if you don’t mind.”

Colt lumbered out of the bedroom, trying to wake up. Beth looked to Ceara, “The handcuffs are a very good idea, Ceara. If I were to… well you know, in the middle of the night, I could hurt several before whoever is on guard could stop me. I don’t want to take that chance.”

Ceara looked defiant, “What about Colt, you could hurt him. If you aren’t worried about that, then why are you worried about doing it to us?”

Beth looked to the side of the bed that Colt had just left, “You’re right, I shouldn’t have put Colt in danger. He was supposed to move to the couch but he fell asleep, and honestly, I didn’t want him to leave. I don’t think I will have to worry about it tonight. My fever is very high and I can tell I am dehydrated. I can’t hold any food down and got almost no sleep last night. I think things will have to be done today.”

“Ceara sat on the side of the bed beside her, “Done, what do you mean, done?”

Beth gave her a look, “Ceara, you are the youngest here, but you aren’t stupid. You know what will need to be done. We all know. I have been bitten and there is no way I will allow myself to be one of those things. I am charting everything I can, but it is getting close and I know it.”

Ceara stared out the window, “How is it going to happen?”

Beth knew that Ceara was fighting back the tears, she reached out and held her hand, “Ceara, I will do it myself. I don’t know when or where, but it has to be done, you know this.”

Ceara just nodded, she got up walking to the door and without looking back, “I’m going to start breakfast, just let me know if you get hungry.”

Colt passed Ceara in the hall with Beth’s water, he saw her look and just let her go. He joined Beth in the bedroom, handing her a glass of water. “Ceara looked upset?”

Beth started writing in her journal again, “ah huh…”

“Beth, what happened?”

“She wanted to be in the dark about what is going on. I made her look at it for what it is.”

Colt sat on the bed, “Could you put that down and talk to me?”

Beth glanced up, “You know this important, Colt. I need to write all this down.”

“Why do you have to make sure Ceara understands what is going on, she is just a kid?”

Beth set her pen down, “She is an adult, everyone treats her like a kid and you need to stop… I need to stop. Treating her like she is a child will get her killed or someone with her killed. We have coddled her too much and that needs to stop.”

Colt looked into her eyes for a few seconds then looked down, “I know, but it is nice to keep some of our civilized ways.”

Beth picked her pen up to start writing again, “Civilization is dead until we find a way to fix this. That is why I am writing this, don’t you understand that?”

Colt stood up, “Yeah, I understand that, I’ll let you write. Just call if you need anything.”

Colt went to the kitchen where Ceara, Charlie, and Alden were. Ceara was making bread and frying bacon from a pig the tribe had slaughtered. There were eggs sitting in a basket on the counter from the chickens they had traded for when Running Buffalo and his people first came around.

Colt poured him coffee and joined Alden at the table, “What are the plans for today?”

Alden raised an eyebrow, “You planning on being around?”

Colt set his cup down, “For now, you want to use me or not?”

Alden smiled a sinister smile, “I can find a few ways.”

Colt sat back, “So what is the plan, that hoard is still out there, isn’t it?”

Charlie joined them at the table, “We don’t know, do we, we have been here. We need to ride out and see where they are, how many there are, and if they are still headed this way.”

Ceara began scrambling eggs, “I’ll ride out with you guys this time, I haven’t gone out lately. I need some time out of here today, anyway.”

Alden looked over at her, “We are going to take the truck today, I just want to see where they are and what they are doing. It shouldn’t take long.”

Ceara nodded, “Sounds good, we ought to think of another supply run too. We have a lot of staples from the Walmart trucks but with a herd like that, we need ammo.”

Alden smiled, “Look who is thinking ahead, good girl.”

Ceara smirked, “Whatever…”

Tabitha joined them in the kitchen, stretching as she reached for a coffee cup, “what is she’ whatevering’ about now?”

Ceara laughed, “Good morning to you, too.”

Tabitha looked around the room, “How is Beth doing?”

“She is in the room writing in that journal again. She thinks that today is going to be…” Colt trailed off and just looked at his coffee.

Tabitha nodded, and bit her lip, “Okay, do we know how this is going to happen?” Her tone was hushed, proving it was a topic no one wanted to deal with.

Alden stood and walked to the door leading to the hall, “It’s high time we find out what her plan actually is. I’m not the type to sit in silence.”

Everyone left in the room just stared after him, wondering if they should follow, stay, or just carry on like nothing was going on. Ceara chose for everyone when she set the pan of eggs on the table, “You guys know where everything is, help yourself.”

Just because everyone felt the need to be led, they all began making their plates and sitting down around the table.

Alden knocked gently on the door, then went in to join Beth. She was still writing in her journal; Beth glanced up to Alden then back to the notebook, “Good morning, sunshine.”

Alden smiled as he sat on the side of the bed, “You getting any good information in there?”

“I don’t know how good it is; but I am being as detailed as I can.”

“I’m sure that someone will be able to use all the information, my job is to find that person,” Alden said.

Beth set the notepad to the side, “I’m guessing you are in here to find out what the plan is today; am I right?”

Alden turned to face her better, “Colt told us you think it will be today. I want to know why you think that, and what you think is going to happen when the time comes.”

Beth nodded; “Fair enough…” she held up her bitten hand, “Do you see this? The bite is extremely inflamed and it isn’t just that. Look at the veins, they are all discolored.”

Beth pulled back the collar of her t-shirt, “Look at this Alden, even the veins going to my head and chest are discoloring. I have a very high fever and soon it will be high enough that I will be delirious.”

Alden looked at everything and felt her head, “You are burning up. So I understand the thought that today will be the day, but what plan do you have rolling around that pretty little head of yours?”

Beth sat up a little straighten in the bed, “I don’t know how you feel about this, but I would like the chance to say goodbye to everyone. Not everyone together, but one by one. I don’t think any of us have had the chance to say goodbye when we lost someone. It just happens so fast that we try to say goodbye afterwards and every single one of us have those unspoken things we regret. I promise that I won’t take long. I don’t have long anymore.”

Alden took a deep breath, “I think the others need that more than you do, Beth. You are a lot like me on strength, you do what has to be done, and you are still doing that.” Alden ran his fingers through his hair and sighed, “And after that?” he questioned.

Beth looked out that window, “Well, I’ve been thinking a lot about that. Do you remember that little bit of C4 we got in all that stuff from the sporting goods store?” Alden furrowed his brow but simply nodded, allowing her to continue, “I think that if you rig that up to one of the vehicles, give me the trigger, and just let me drive into the middle of the horde. As long as I can, I will have the radio blaring, horn honking, anything I can do to draw their attention. I let them climb all over the car and when the time is right…. boom.” Beth saw Alden’s look and added, “Alden, you know I won’t feel a thing and it will thin out that herd a lot! It gives you guys a fighting chance!”

Alden stood up to walk to the door, “If this is what you want, I need to check the gas in the vehicles, find that C4 and get it rigged up. So I better get busy.”

As Alden reached for the door knob, Beth patted the bed, “Do you mind if we start the talks with you?”

Alden didn’t look back, nor did he take his hand from the door knob, “Beth, I don’t do goodbyes, you know that.’

Beth sat in silence for a minute, and then tried again, “this is for me, Alden… I need to do this. Please let me say my goodbyes to everyone, including you.”

Alden rubbed the back of his neck, stretching it out, and then turned to join Beth again, “Make it quick.”

Beth smile, “Yes sir… First off, thank you… thank you for making my life last for as long as it has. I know without you, I wouldn’t be here now. You are the strongest man I have ever met, and I want you to know that you don’t have to be the strongest all the time. There are times you could use a shoulder to lean on too. If you give Charlie that chance, he would be there for you. He is becoming quite the man because of you. I love you like a brother, I have seen you laugh, blow your top, or just sit back and watch shit happen. You never let any of us down.”

Alden looked over to her and she knew he was thinking he let her down, “No, not even me! We all have to watch out for ourselves. You can’t be everywhere, and we can’t always be together.”

Beth reached out to take Alden’s hand, “I have just one request from you, allow them to love you, allow them to make mistakes, and allow them into your heart… you have survived this long, but you aren’t really living if you don’t allow people in.”

Beth got a big smile, “Now, give me a hug and go get busy!”

Alden wrapped her in his arms. Hugging tightly, he kissed her cheek with tears in his eyes, “I’m going to miss you, cupcake.” Alden got up and headed back to the door, “Who do you want to talk to next?”

“Oh, let’s go with Charlie…” Beth said in a lighthearted voice, trying to lighten the mood.

Alden walked out to rejoin the group, “Charlie, Beth wants to see you. I have a few things to do outside.” He walked straight through the kitchen and out the back door.