Survival of the Ginnest (17 page)
Read Survival of the Ginnest Online
Authors: Aimee Horton
Tags: #family, #social networking, #humour, #parenting, #motherhood, #gin, #motherhood humor, #gin and tonic, #parenting and families, #motherhood humor kids, #motherhood book, #motherhood fun, #motherhood humour
11 people like
this
Harris
is feeling a mixture of guilt and
pride. The Monster has watched approx. 6 (maybe 10) episodes
of
Justin's House
. However, he's also just come through and said “Excuse me
Mummy, sorry to bother you".
November 5, 2011 at 11:54
20 people like
this
Harris
loves her children, however, wishes
that every time she walks near the table she didn't stand in
something sticky.
November 8, 2011 at 20:26
6 people like
this
Harris
is encouraging the world to embrace
her new fashion trend: Mismatched socks. Please - and then my
children won't look "special".
November 10, 2011 at 14:52
6 people like
this
Harris
would like to replace her legs for
ones that don't ache, and her belly for one that doesn't
wobble.
November 15, 2011 at 16:54
5 people like
this
Harris
thinks it must surely be nearly
Rijoca-o-clocka?
November 16, 2011 at
16:32
5 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is trying to scrape the Weetabix, dried banana and
what she can only assume to be blueberries off the high chair in a
vain attempt to make her house look less like a dirt bomb has hit
it.
November 17, 2011 at
9:15
1 person likes
this
Dottie
Harris
is regretting planning salad for dinner tonight.
STUPID idea.
November 18, 2011 at
16:51
2 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is making a curry.
November 18, 2011 at
19:57
9 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is loving the karma of The Monster hating The
Chubster watching him on the toilet.
November 19, 2011 at
9:23
10 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is wondering if her daughter is the only child in the
world to be scared of the second verse of “Row Row”?
November 21, 2011 at
12:43
3 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
thinks it should be against the law for anybody to
speak, babble or cry until she's had her first cup of
tea.
November 22, 2011 at
7:53
8 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
might hit her husband with her slipper if he doesn't
stop looking for pizza discount vouchers and just ORDER BLOODY
DINNER!
November 22, 2011 at
20:17
6 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
thinks if she hears “Wait wait Mummy, I
want....SOMEFIN" at bedtime one more time she'll have to turn to
alcohol. Oh.
November 23, 2011 at
19:03
6 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
has just witnessed a full scale fight between the
children. She thinks The Chubster won.
November 24, 2011 at
17:26
4 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
thinks it’s a good job The Chubster is cute or she'd
be leaving her at the charity shop today.
November 25, 2011 at
8:40
7 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
thinks her children must really hate her. Is it
bedtime yet?
November 27, 2011 at
8:01
2 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is singing and dancing around the kitchen (much to
the kid’s bemusement). This can only mean one thing:
SLEEP!!
November 28, 2011 at
8:39
6 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
must learn not to eat brownies in front of the kids
before they've finished their dinner. MELTDOWN! Rookie
error.
November 28, 2011 at
17:01
7 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is beginning to think her obsession with taking
photos of her food is a little unhealthy.
November 28, 2011 at
20:18
2 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
has just gone back upstairs to see her son dressed in
The Chubster’s swimming costume and his Spider-Man mask. As you
do.
November 30, 2011 at
19:58
21 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
thinks the 1st December means more than chocolate:
Mince pies for breakfast.
December 1, 2011 at
8:30
11 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is quite impressed. She went Christmas shopping and
didn't buy ANYTHING for herself.
December 1, 2011 at
19:20
7 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
has 85mins until the kids go to bed.
December 2, 2011 at
17:34
3 people like
this
Dottie
Harris -
47...
December 2, 2011 at
18:12
5 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is going to change her name so she's no longer the
centre of “Mummeeemummeemummee" chants.
December 4, 2011 at
14:29
3 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
- Phrase I never thought I'd use: “Stop hitting your
big brother with that hammer"
December 5, 2011 at
10:18
1 person likes
this
Dottie
Harris
has had a very busy day, and is looking forward to
having a glass of wine to celebrate 8 years with her lovely (most
of the time) husband. X
December 6, 2011 at
19:29
32 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is having another discussion with The Monster about
how she doesn't think he'll be getting a Baby Annabel for
Christmas.
December 9, 2011 at
8:27
10 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
has yet again been stared out of the last waffle by
The Chubster. *sulks*
December 10, 2011 at
9:18
8 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is a bit lost with The Monster still in bed. Time for
another cup of tea and cuddles with The Chubster then!
December 19, 2011 at
9:11
5 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
has used the "Santa won't come if xxxx" bribe 5 times
in the last 3 hours.
December 19, 2011 at
12:50
11 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
thinks her husband is treading on dangerous ground.
His response to why he didn't pick up chocolate when requested:
“Well, I thought you'd want to be good all week". Hmm.
December 19, 2011 at
20:41
3 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
thinks that there's a chocolate Penguin in the treats
drawer with her name on it!
December 19, 2011 at
21:16
5 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is still deciding if she made the right decision
agreeing with The Monster that his snowman was alive. Nightmares a
go-go tonight?
December 22, 2011 at
19:33
3 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is wrapping presents for Santa. Unfortunately, the
elves are going to have to go out and buy some more chocolate
pennies. Not satsumas, there are plenty of those.
December 23, 2011 at
19:44
9 people like
this
Harris
can't believe the most stressful
thing about making a tiramisu is finding a dish to put it
in.
December 24, 2011 at 11:21
2 people like
this
Harris
needs to put a ban on noisy
toys.
December 26, 2011 at 6:01
15 people like
this
Harris
has just hit rock bottom. Her 3
year old son has just let her win at “Snap”. “Quick Mummy, shout it
before I do!EHHHHYYY MUMMY WON!"
December 27, 2011 at 18:01
15 people like
this
Harris
was nearly just KILLED by a
strategically placed Transformer.
December 27, 2011 at 19:23
15 people like
this
Harris
thinks the Tooth Fairy is a
bitch.
December 29, 2011 at 8:22
4 people like
this
Harris
has decided that
Ice Age 3
is this
morning’s designated babysitter.
December 30, 2011 at 10:28
8 people like
this
Harris
is counting down the
minutes.
December 30, 2011 at 17:41
1 person likes
this
Harris
is more excited than The Monster
about seeing the pantomime today! OH NO SHE ISN'T (Oh yes she
is)
December 31, 2011 at 9:07
6 people like
this
Harris
is wishing all a Happy New Year
x
December 31, 2011 at 21:57
8 people like
this
2012
Harris
can't believe her daughter broke
her New Year’s Resolution of “LET MUMMY SLEEP ALL NIGHT" so
quickly. Epic.Toddler.Fail.
January 1, 2012 at
6:41
4 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is playing pirates and treasure
with The Monster. He’s finding the treasure (Quality Streets) and
bringing them to her to eat.
January 2, 2012 at
14:08
9 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is looking forward to date night.
Only 3 1/2 hours until the kids are well and truly
dumped.
January 3, 2012 at
11:30
5 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is so not eating mince pies and
drinking tea instead of ironing.
January 3, 2012 at
13:34
3 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
-
22 minutes...
January 3, 2012 at
18:38
6 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
would like to thank the grumpy
Sainsbury's delivery man for bringing her a bottle of gin. (As part
of my order, not as a present). It's going to be well used tonight
judging by the current double child meltdown in the
bath.
January 4, 2012 at
18:14
11 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is thinking “If you were a a
3-year-old’s PE kit and you weren't in your bag as expected and you
weren't in the laundry, WHERE WOULD YOU BE?!”
January 5, 2012 at
7:08
8 people like
this
Dottie
Harris
is suffering from too much party
food from this afternoon’s toddler party.
January 7, 2012 at
17:56
1 person likes
this
Dottie
Harris
is wondering why everyone is asleep
except her. Perhaps the fact that there is a 3 year old hogging her
side of the bed is part of the problem.
