Surrender Your Love (23 page)

He pulled back to regard me and cocked a brow in wry amusement.
“Why?”

My sex twitched at the naughty spark in his eyes. He knew what I wanted; he just wanted me to beg for it. I walked around the desk and stopped inches from his towering body. Standing next to me, he was so tall and intimidating I had to toss my head back and peer all the way up to meet his challenging gaze. I might not be able to kiss him
, but there was something I could reach just fine. Brushing my fingers down the front of his shirt, I pulled it out of his slacks and began to undo the buttons one by one.

“
Because I thought you might be needing a break.” Just in case he didn’t catch on to my subtle hint, I rubbed my hand against the hard bulge beneath his slacks.

He groaned and closed his eyes for a brief second. When he opened them again, his face was a mask of desire sending my panties into ready-to-drop mode.
“Sure, but we might need to meet after working hours to finish what you’ve started.”

I barely had time to nod before I found myself flat on my back with Jett camped between my legs, doing incredible things to my panting body.

***

Later that night I sat on Jett
’s bed—our bed, because I had barely used mine—as he packed his luggage. I had finished mine earlier, and was now fascinated by how obsessively neat he seemed to be, folding and arranging the contents of his suitcase, as though his expensive shirts wouldn’t get all crumpled up anyway.

His brows were drawn together in a frown
, and for a few minutes I thought packing mattered a great deal to him, until he said, “We’re leaving before sunrise. You might want to spend the night in here so at least one of us doesn’t miss the alarm.”

There was something in his tone, a strange undercurrent that made me look up, surprised. He was staring at me, his face an impenetrable mask that made reading his emotions impossible.

“Okay.”

“
There’s something I need to tell you,” Jett said, inching closer. His mouth pressed into a stubborn line as his eyes searched mine. In that moment I saw a hint of vulnerability in him that I hadn’t glimpsed before.

“
Okay,” I repeated, unsure where this was heading. My heart began to thump just a little bit harder, and a sense of foreboding washed over me. He wanted to talk and that usually didn’t bode for good news.

He sat down on the bed and clasped my hand in his, caressing my palm with his thumb.
“The night we met and you woke up with me in your bed—” He paused until I nodded. “I know I let you believe that we slept together, but we didn’t. I would never take advantage of a clearly intoxicated woman who doesn’t even remember her name.”

Holy shit.

“But you said we did.”

He shook his head slowly.
“I never said we did. You assumed it, and I never corrected you.”

I peered at him lost for words. He was right, of course, but wasn
’t hiding the truth almost the same thing as lying? I had fretted over that night, believing I had cheated on Sean, believing I had been easy enough to sleep with a stranger, only to find out nothing happened.

“
Are you mad?” Jett asked.

I took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. Was I mad? No. But I wished he had been frank with me, in which case I might have discovered sooner just how great he was
. Any other man would have used the situation to his advantage, or worse yet, raped me.

Even if
I knew the answer, I still had to ask. “But why did you come home with me?”

“
Because some drunken idiot hit on you, and I was worried. I helped you and Sylvie get home safely. You didn’t want me to leave, so I stayed. But nothing happened.”

I swal
low down the lump in my throat. “You were naked.”

His glorious lips quirked up in a cheeky smile.
“You know I sleep naked.”

Smiling faintly, I inclined my head, realizing it was a good thing he let me believe we had done the dirty before, otherwise I would never have had the courage to start a sexual relationship with him.

“For all it’s worth, I’m sorry,” Jett said. “I know I should have told you, but the opportunity never presented itself, and then I didn’t really see the point.”

I waved my hand.
“It’s fine. But never lie to me again.”

“
There’s something else.”

I glanced up at his face. His brows were still
drawn but his eyes shimmered with something I couldn’t quite pinpoint.

Seriously, what was this? Confession day? I eyed him warily.
“What?” His lips twitched, and I realized he was having a hard time not to laugh.

“
I’m not sure you remember, but the next day I helped you home from yet another bar. You were drunk out of your mind, again.”

My memories flew back to the night I found out about my promotion
, and Sylvie decided she wanted to celebrate by wearing a belt as a skirt. She had been adamant she saw Jett watching us, and I had been pretty sure I caught a glimpse of green eyes through my alcohol-induced haze.

I should have asked what the heck he had been doing at
Vixen’s
and how he had found me in the first place. Instead, I found myself smiling like an idiot, thinking how cute he was for taking care of me…until I realized I most certainly hadn’t been a pretty sight.

“
Oh, gosh.” I dropped my head onto my arms, mortified. “I don’t scrub up so well drunk.”

“
You were very talkative, and definitely a lot nicer than when you’re sober.”

Was that a hint of humor in his voice? I straightened up to take in the amused curve of his stunning lips. He was making fun of me.

“What did I say?”

“
That I had the most gorgeous eyes.”

Oh god.

I loved his eyes, but he didn’t need to know that. At least I didn’t say anything about his lips.

“
Tucked in your bed you said you wanted to feel my mouth on your whole body.”

Earth, swallow me up whole!

I groaned. “You probably misunderstood.”

Jett inclined his head in mock concentration, probably recalling every single shameful word of that fateful night.
“I doubt that. You were pretty specific with the details.” The fragile skin under his twinkling eyes creased, and his lips twitched as though he was having a hard time not to laugh. “I could show you what exactly you wanted me to do.”

I had made a fool of myself already
, so why not make the best of it?

“
Sure.” My mouth found his in a heated kiss as I let him pull me into bed, stripping our clothes off, our luggage forgotten.

***

Our flight back to New York had a half-hour delay. Sitting in the waiting area at Malpesa airport with Jett holding my hand felt surreal. For some reason, I expected him to put some distance between us once we left the privacy of his mansion. To my surprise, he didn’t seem in the least fazed by people seeing us together. It gave me hope that once we were back in New York, he wouldn’t end whatever we had because I liked him more than I wanted to admit.

We stopped to buy newspapers for him and magazines for me, and then boarded the plane for the nine hour flight that would take us back home. In the harsh veracity of the real world, he was rich, successful
, and one of the most desired bachelors in New York—and I was, well, me. A world I hoped wouldn’t tear us apart by pointing out just how different our lives were.

“
You’re probably eager to get home,” Jett whispered in my ear so the flight attendant serving coffee wouldn’t hear us, “but will you stay with me one more night? I’m not quite ready to let this go.”

“
I’d love to.” Smiling, I kissed him as my heat began to do one somersault after another, probably interpreting more into his words than I should have.

After waking up in Jett’s stunning apartment sixteen hours later, we lingered in bed, fingers intertwined, bodies melting in a tight embrace. Jett smelled of cologne and sex, and for the first time in my life I found the scent intoxicating, just like the man beside me. And it dawned on me that Jett had brought many ‘firsts’ into my life.

“
What are you smiling about?” he whispered, tracing the contours of my lips with the index finger he had so shamelessly driven into me only an hour ago.

“
Nothing.” I stretched out like a cat in front of a fireplace, enjoying the last few hours before routine would kick in.

We were about to step out of our shell and back into the real world, which worried me. The last two weeks had been interesting
, with very little work and very much other stuff. Back home, it was only a matter of time until reality would crawl back in, and I realized things would most certainly change. I wished I could hold on to
us
forever, lock us up in a protective cocoon, and let the world pass us by so nothing and no one could ever touch or separate us.

Was that what love felt like? Wanting
at all costs to protect the frail shell of emotions coating our hearts?

It was so easy to get wrapped up in him and his body, to let him take control. My mother had always said that no man should lead the way and no woman should just follow but, even though I barely knew him, I wanted to let him into my circle of trust because I could feel he
’d never betray me.

“
Is there anything you want to share with me?” he asked.

His question took me by surprise. Why would he ask me that? I sat up on my elbow, fully facing him.
“I don’t think so.”

“
What exactly are you looking for, Brooke? Because, from what I gathered, you don’t really do relationships.”

Another surprising statement.
My heart pounded hard against my chest. “What makes you think that?”

“
The way you still don’t talk much about you shows me you don’t trust me fully.”

I opened my mouth to tell him he was wrong
, and closed it. Was it true? Did I shut him off in some way or another? I thought back to one morning when he’d asked about my past relationships, and I avoided giving a straight answer. Could Jett have interpreted the fact that I didn’t like talking about my past as a sign I wasn’t interested in a relationship?

“
Trust doesn’t come easily to me,” I said, unsure of what Jett really wanted to hear from me.

His eyes turned a shade darker and his jaw set.
“Why? Is it because of what happened to Jenna? Because if that’s the reason, I can assure you most men aren’t like that guy.”

“
I know that.” I knew Danny had targeted and abused her to pay for his habit. My therapists had told me that over and over again.

His gaze bore into my soul, searching for the answer I didn
’t want to give. How could he understand when all he knew about my past were a few empty words that barely managed to express a fragment of the pain I had to go through?

“Why?” Jett persisted. “Please, help me understand. I need to know whether there’s—” He hesitated, keeping to himself what he had been about to say.

I took a deep breath, feeling my resolve waning. I had told him about my sister, which was my biggest secret. Why not share my feelings with him as well?

“Why do you even want to know? Why can’t you just leave it the way it is?” I whispered.

He shook his head, hesitating. I held my breath as I regarded his dense lashes casting dark shadows beneath his eyes. He was so beautiful it broke my heart
, and we weren’t even done yet. What would happen once he tired of me? Would I survive the pain? I had let down my guard and now I was in too deep. I should have run—the way I always did, and yet I had made no move to leave, neither physically nor emotionally. And now I was facing an array of emotions I had never felt for anyone before. Fear, desire, hope, and yet more fear. Emotions I couldn’t deal with. Emotions that would suffocate me the moment our arrangement ended.

“
This isn’t working, Brooke. Don’t get me wrong, the sex is amazing. But it’s turning into something else, and I need to know where I’m standing. I need to know whether we’ll ever be together.”

My heart skipped a beat. It tended to do that a lot ever since he entered my life. What exactly was
‘more’? A relationship? Or a different contract? “You want more?” I whispered, daring not to hope.

“
Yes, Brooke. I do. I want to see where this is heading.” His voice was deep and low. Sultry.

I peered into his eyes to see if he was joking
, but his expression remained serious. Half of me wanted to jump right into his arms and never let him go, the way you see in movies. And the other half, as strange as it sounded, wished she could wipe out each and every memory that included him. Because I wanted him too much and I couldn’t handle it
.
Because I had never felt this way before, and it scared the hell out of me. If I gave it a try and it didn’t work out, my heart would shatter and my world would crumble. If he lost interest and broke up with me, it would kill me.