Surrender To The Viking (14 page)

‘Tell me what to do, Finn. Show me how to please you.’

‘Just relax and follow my lead, sweetheart. If you enjoy what I’m doing the chances are I’ll enjoy it if you do the same to me.’

And so she imitated him, caressing him in return, exploring him, enjoying the play of his muscles beneath her hands, revelling in the leashed strength of him, wanting to discover every part of him. His skin smelled faintly of soap and musk and beneath it the man, a heady, sexual scent as intoxicating as mead. Her fingers stroked the warm nape of his neck then did what they had wanted to do from the first and slid gently through his hair. The touch was sensual and arousing and provoked a series of more seductive fantasies.

She could feel his erection hard against her thigh and her mind moved ahead, imagining what it would feel like inside her. How would it feel to be taken by him, to be possessed by him, to yield completely to him? The possibilities swept her with a rising tide of excitement as curiosity mingled with desire. More than anything she wanted to find out. But then, belatedly, a different thought intruded.

‘Your injured leg. This might not be...’

His lips grazed her neck. ‘What injured leg?’

She felt his hand sweep her waist and thigh and then move to the secret place between, intimate, unexpected and shocking. Delightfully, wickedly shocking. Whatever he was doing she wanted more of it. He drew his fingers slowly through the moist fold of her flesh. As the gentle stroking continued it elicited a rush of slick warmth and the tingling sensation in her loins intensified and tightened into a coil of heat. Relaxing her thighs a little to facilitate him she willed him to continue, her hips arching towards his hand. His fingers found the hard nub they had been seeking and then resumed what they had begun. Lara gasped. And then recalling what he’d said she slid a hand down his belly to his groin and closed her fingers around him, stroking gently in return. She heard a sharp intake of breath and saw him smile.

‘You learn quickly, sweetheart.’

She wanted to learn, to find out what would please him, what would excite him, what would... The train of thought ended on a gasp as the coil of tension tightened further and the heat at its core flared out in a deep ripple of pleasure. It was swiftly followed by another and another, deeper and stronger, until her body shuddered, bucking against his hand.

‘Dear gods! Finn, please...’

She was vaguely aware that he moved and parted her thighs; felt the first gentle thrust of penetration. There was a brief sensation of discomfort and he slid deeper until she had all of him. For a second or two he was still, holding her at his pleasure and the grey eyes locked with hers, ardent, hungry, fierce. What she read there made her breath catch in her throat, every nerve vibrating to him. She felt him move inside her, slowly at first, until his own need began to overcome restraint. The tempo changed and became stronger and more assertive. Involuntarily she closed her legs around him, pulling him closer, moving with him, acknowledging the leashed power holding her in thrall. Her body quivered, submitting to his will and thrilling to the possession until eventually she heard him cry out and felt the juddering spasm of his climax and his hot seed inside her.

He rolled aside and collapsed, breathing hard, but she saw him smile. ‘You have no idea how much I’ve wanted to do that.’

‘Have you? I thought...’

‘Thought what, sweetheart?’

‘That it didn’t matter to you whether I lay with you or not.’

He laughed softly. ‘I had to keep a few shreds of pride intact.’

‘You mean you would have...you wanted...’

‘Yes, I certainly would have. I’ve wanted you from the day I first clapped eyes on you.’

‘You hid it well.’

‘Self-preservation, my sweet, in the face of uncompromising resistance to my advances.’

‘I was angry at the time, and confused.’

He kissed her softly. ‘I know.’

‘I’m sorry.’

‘Shh. You have no need to apologise. It’s I who should be doing that.’

She shook her head. ‘You have been patient.’

‘It was worth it.’

‘Was it? For you, I mean?’

‘Most definitely.’

‘I’m glad it was. I didn’t want you to be disappointed.’

‘
Disappointed
is the last word I’d use.’ He drew her closer. ‘In fact you never cease to astonish me.’

He had spoken the exact truth. Although he had anticipated her eventual capitulation he had never imagined the circumstances under which it might happen. Nor had he expected to be the one so completely and skilfully seduced. Until she stripped off her shift he’d had no idea that he’d been watching a calculated performance. His hand idly stroked her fiery hair and he smiled. A performance calculated to inflame his senses and drive him wild with desire. The little witch cast a powerful spell and no mistake. He couldn’t remember wanting a woman as much or waiting for one either. And it
had
been worth the wait. That too was true. This time reality had exceeded expectation but instead of sating desire it left him eager for more. Somehow he’d managed to use restraint but it had taken every particle of self-control he possessed. Now his mind moved ahead, exploring other possibilities with her, thoughts that only served to fuel passion. He controlled the urge to indulge them. It was too soon. What they’d just shared had been good beyond belief but to repeat it now would be a mistake. He had no wish to hurt her or make her reluctant by being careless or selfish. Next time he made love to her he wanted her as eager and willing as she was tonight.

Chapter Fifteen

L
ara awoke just after dawn to a sense of comfortable warmth and well-being. She stretched lazily and turned her head to look at the man beside her. Her gaze met his and he smiled.

‘Good morning.’

‘Good morning yourself.’ She eyed him curiously. ‘Have you been watching me?’

‘Aye, I have.’

‘Why?’

He grinned. ‘Because it pleased me.’

‘Do you always do what pleases you?’

‘Whenever I can.’ He stroked her waist. ‘But I should also like to do what pleases you as well.’

‘Really?’ She smiled in return. ‘Well, I have some ideas about that.’

‘Oh? What ideas?’

‘I’m not sure I should tell you.’ In fact she was certain that she should not in view of the effect those same ideas were having on her pulse rate. Since when had she become such a wanton?
Since last night. Definitely since last night.

His hand moved to her breast and stroked lightly. ‘Why not?’

Resolution began to waver. ‘I’m afraid that if I do it might cause harm.’

‘What harm?’

‘Such energetic activity might tear your wound.’

‘What wound?’

Her body quivered and it became harder to think. ‘It...it could cause a relapse.’

He rolled and pinned her to the bed. ‘I’ll take full responsibility.’

* * *

The sun was much higher before they eventually emerged from the sleeping quarters. Contrary to expectation he showed no signs of wanting to be rid of her company and offered to show her around instead. She agreed readily and forbore to mention her previous excursion with Alrik. The thought of spending time with Finn was most agreeable and, as he had to walk slowly, the tour was likely to take a while. All the same she didn’t want him to be in pain on her account. When she mentioned the point though, he brushed it off.

‘To be honest the leg feels better when I’m moving around. Sitting too long causes the muscles to stiffen up.’

‘It’s healing well.’

‘That’s because of the expert care I’ve received.’

His smile warmed her, like his closeness now. They strolled on a little way in amicable silence but then curiosity overcame her. There was so much she wanted to know.

‘Has Ravndal been in your possession long?’

‘Since my father died. That’s about nine years now.’

‘It’s a fine steading.’

‘I’m glad you think so. Not everyone has been of the same mind.’ He sighed. ‘My first wife hated it.’

‘What was there to hate?’

‘In truth it wasn’t the place that Bótey hated. It was the fact that I was absent for long periods of time.’

Lara bit her lip. The same thought had been on her mind and he’d just given her an opening.

‘I can understand why she would have disliked being alone. I think I should not care for it either.’

‘You are stronger than she was. She lacked the inner resources to cope.’

She eyed him obliquely. Was this conversation intended to prepare her for his forthcoming departure? Would she too have to bear months or even years without him? The possibility filled her with dismay.

‘You once said that in your experience absence does not make the heart grow fonder.’

‘That’s right. Others may find it otherwise, but for Bótey and me it was a disaster. Mostly my fault, I admit. If I’d listened things might have turned out differently.’

‘You would still be married to her.’ She hesitated. ‘Do you miss her very much?’

‘I used to, but not now. She’s a memory I have, some of it good and some of it not.’

‘You told me she found someone else.’

‘Yes.’

‘What did you do when you found out?’

‘I went after them and when I caught them I challenged her lover to a fight. Then I killed him.’

Lara shivered inwardly. This was a side of him that she hadn’t seen before—ruthless, vengeful and implacable. And yet it wasn’t so surprising that he or any man should seek to hold what was his.

‘You acted within your rights.’

‘Aye, I did. I didn’t question it, at the time.’

‘So you never considered letting them go?’

‘No, I wanted her back, and I wanted the blood of the man who tried to take her from me.’

‘But she refused to go with you.’

‘Correct.’

‘So...you divorced her for infidelity.’

‘No, we were never divorced.’

Lara blinked. Suddenly there were all manner of disturbing undercurrents that she didn’t much care for and which might be best avoided. Except that if she shied away now she would never learn the truth.

‘I don’t understand.’

‘Bótey also died that day.’

Her mind reeled with the implications. Surely he wasn’t suggesting... That couldn’t be. He wouldn’t... Yet how much did she really know about him? Who was he really? Part of her dreaded to ask the next question but there was no way to avoid it now. In any case, it was better to know than to live with uncertainty no matter how ugly the truth might be.

She moistened her lips. ‘You...you slew her as well?’

The grey eyes locked with hers, their expression as wintry as a fathom of fjord ice. ‘No, I did not. She took her own life.’

The relief was almost too much and yet the reply threw up more questions, all equally difficult. He spared her the necessity of asking them.

‘That too was my fault,’ he went on. ‘I just wanted to talk to her, to take her home again. I had some crazy idea that if we returned we could somehow make everything right between us. Goodness knows what I was thinking at that moment.’

‘It wouldn’t be easy to think at all at such a moment.’

‘At all events, I should have known better than to advance on an already distraught woman with a bloodstained sword in my hand.’ He drew a deep breath. ‘She assumed, wrongly, that I meant to use it to despatch her as well, imagining a painful and lingering death, no doubt.’

‘Great heavens.’

‘She used her lover’s seax to kill herself. I never guessed at her intent until it was too late. She died in my arms a few moments later.’

Lara swallowed hard. ‘I’m so sorry. So very sorry. I didn’t mean to resurrect such hurtful memories and yet I’m glad you told me.’

‘Well, at least you know I’m not a wife-slayer.’

‘I was reluctant to think it of you.’

Some of the tension left him. ‘Under the circumstances I suppose it was a natural suspicion.’ He smiled mirthlessly. ‘Bótey certainly believed it.’

‘I imagine she wasn’t thinking clearly either.’

‘It never occurred to me that she would
ever
think such a thing. That she could ever have imagined I’d harm her.’

‘She panicked, Finn. You said she was distraught.’

‘It only emphasises the gulf that had opened between us. She didn’t know me at all.’ He sighed. ‘But then I wasn’t around long enough for her to find out, was I?’

‘She knew you followed the whale road before she married you.’

‘But she always hoped I’d give it up.’

‘That seems unrealistic to me.’

‘It was. I was young and headstrong and selfish—certainly not prepared to listen or to recognise what was happening until it was too late.’

‘It’s easy to be wise with hindsight.’

‘As you say.’ He paused. ‘If I’d been wiser I wouldn’t have lost her.’

‘You loved her very much, didn’t you?’

‘I loved her with a young man’s passion—hot and heady and wild. Fortunately, I’m past such foolishness.’

Her heart sank. ‘Is it foolish to love, then?’

‘Love doesn’t last. Affection and respect are a safer bet.’

I don’t love you any more than you love me.
Once upon a time that statement had been entirely accurate. She didn’t know exactly when her feelings for him had begun to change, only that they had. While she had never been indifferent to him, what she had come to feel was not mere physical attraction but something much stronger. It had only been enhanced by the incredible night they had just shared. He had awoken more than her sensuality. She was in great danger of losing her heart. Unfortunately he didn’t want it. His love was
dead
in every sense of the word.

‘Many marriages are built on far less,’ she replied.

‘Quite so.’ He surveyed her steadily. ‘But I think we do have those things now. Am I right?’

It was partly true. She did respect him. It was just that
affection
didn’t describe her feelings for him. To confess to more would be foolish and make her vulnerable. Finn wouldn’t let her get any closer. He’d just made it clear that his days of indulging the grand passion were over. At least there was some comfort in knowing he did hold her in affection.

‘Yes, you’re right.’

‘Then it’s enough,’ he said. ‘I am content.’

They walked on again in reflective silence. Lara debated inwardly for a little while and then decided that she might as well take advantage of this present mood to find out what she really wanted to know. Living with uncertainty would be worse.

‘Is it your intention to return to the whale road?’

‘No, or not in the way you mean. I shall not go a-viking again. Any voyages I undertake will be for the purpose of trading and they will not be of long duration.’

‘And in between times?’

‘In between times I shall be here. I mean to work the farm and raise a family.’

Relief mingled with other emotions as she recalled an earlier conversation.
I shall want half-a-dozen fine sons to continue my line and that you must produce them...
The present arrangement hadn’t only been about men and swords; it was also about the need to get heirs. Finn had played a long game because he could afford to. Time was on his side and he knew that inevitably she would become his wife in fact as well as in name. After that the rest would follow. She guessed that now she had begun to share his bed that he would be most assiduous in his attentions there. He knew how to please a woman but he also had an objective beyond pleasure. His involvement was physical and mental; the emotional connection didn’t go so deep.

‘The fine sons you spoke of?’ she replied.

‘Just so.’

At least he was honest about it. The thought of bearing his children did not displease her. On the contrary, it would be a great thing to bring new life into the world, to watch a new generation grow and thrive, to make a real home. If he had only loved her as well it would have been perfect. However, life wasn’t perfect and affection and respect were better than nothing.

‘Some of them might be daughters instead.’

He smiled faintly. ‘I have no objection to that—lively red-haired daughters with their mother’s beauty and spirit.’

‘But perhaps not her temper.’

‘I thought it was part of the package and that it came with red hair.’

‘That is a generalisation. I’m sure there must be mild-tempered redheads out there too.’

‘It may be so, but I don’t find the notion appealing. A mild-tempered redhead sounds insipid to me.’

‘She would be meek and obedient.’

He laughed. ‘And deadly dull. Give me the fiery version every time.’

‘So you are satisfied with your bargain, then.’

‘Very much so.’ His eyes met hers. ‘But I am one half of the bargain, Lara. I know that now and I promise to do my part.’

It chimed uncannily with what her father had said before.
Half of what happens hereafter will be of your making.
Even if it wasn’t perfect, she
did
want to make something of this marriage. She
did
want to build a future with him.

‘And I will do mine.’

He raised her hand to his lips. ‘Then it is well.’

As well as it would ever be.
She summoned a smile. ‘Yes, it is well.’