Surrender To Sultry (18 page)

“Are you okay?” he asked.

She answered with a long groan, which he took as a yes.

He held there, giving her time to adjust to his thickness. Writhing with need, she
panted against the curve of his neck and dug her nails into his shoulder. Instead
of pulling back, he ground against her in a slow rotation, then another, stoking her
pleasure and making her impossibly wetter. When he opened his eyes, it was to find
her biting her lip and staring back in unchecked ecstasy. It was then that they joined
on every level—hands, gazes, bodies. He’d never felt more connected to her or more
exposed. He had to know if she felt the same.

“Tell me you love me,” he whispered against her lips. “Say my name and tell me you
love me.”

She nodded against the pillow and squeezed their linked fingers. “I love you, Colt.”

He closed his eyes to savor the words and began moving inside her in a fluid glide.
“Say it again.”

“I love you.”

His body trembled with the mingled pleasure of taking Leah’s body along with her heart.
Nothing had ever felt sweeter, the joy so powerful he could burst from it. He set
a gentle tempo, sliding in and out while searching her face, savoring the pleasure
reflected in her eyes, each quiet sigh and whimper urging him deeper. They shared
the same heaving breaths, too overcome with pleasure to manage a kiss but unwilling
to put an inch between them. With her free hand, Leah unfastened his hair and let
if fall around her, then danced her fingertips along his cheek. She couldn’t seem
to get close enough to him, her legs wrapping tighter around his hips, the spikes
of her high heels digging into his thighs.

He gave her more, thrust harder, the tension coiling in the pit of his stomach with
each slippery stroke. Her silken warmth tensed around him, and he whispered, “Come
with me” right before she arched her neck off the pillow and cried out. Her inner
muscles contracted in viselike spasms that milked a climax from him he felt all the
way to his toes. With a grunt, he bucked against her, then pulled back once and plunged
as deep as he could go and tensed there, spilling inside her in scalding release.
God, he’d never come so hard in his life.

They trembled together for a while, the only sound the harsh pull of air into their
lungs. Even after they’d floated back down, Colt didn’t want to leave the haven of
her body. He remained buried within her as he rotated them to the side and wrapped
her in his arms. For the next several minutes, they loved each other in silence—stroking
hair, brushing skin, sharing warmth—until their lips met and their kisses stoked another
fire within them.

When they made love again, he rolled Leah atop him and watched as she rode his hips,
her back bowed with rapture, her long golden waves falling in a wild tangle over her
breasts, her mouth agape as she touched herself and rose and sank onto his drenched
erection. She was pale against his dark skin. Their contrast was somehow a testament
to their perfection, proof that they belonged together. When she came, gliding over
him hard and fast and sobbing his name, the sight of her abandon brought about his
own explosive climax. She fell against his chest, weak with bliss, and he held her
like that until it was time to take her home.

Helping her dress and driving her home almost proved more than he could bear, and
after he walked her to the door and left her with one final kiss, she disappeared
inside the house, taking his heart with her. He stood on her front stoop, staring
at the door, his feet unwilling to move, his arms aching to hold her again. A couple
of his other parts missed her too.

When he returned home to his empty bed, his pillow mocked him with Leah’s lingering
scent. He hugged it close and vowed not to spend another day without her by his side.
There was only one cure for what ailed him, and the idea set a smile in motion across
his lips. Tomorrow he’d ask her to be his wife.

“Leah Nicole Bea,” he said to himself. Her name tasted mighty good on his tongue.

“Leah McMahon, huh?”

“Yeah,” Colt said, handing his old friend a mug of coffee. It was the least he could
do, considering Greg had driven all the way out here at the ass-crack of dawn. “She’s
the one. I knew it back in high school.”

“Congrats, buddy.” Greg sipped his coffee and set the mug on the end table. “You called
the right man. I’m gonna hook you up.” He opened the travel case balanced on his lap
and lifted a gold ring from inside. “This one’s a popular style with the ladies because
it sits low on the hand. It won’t snag on fabrics or hair. Good for a nurse—she’s
a nurse, right?”

“Uh-huh.”

Colt took the ring and held it to the light, where a tiny diamond caught the sun and
sprayed rainbows on the sofa. It seemed wrong buying an engagement ring from a pawnbroker,
but the nearest jeweler was two hours away, and Colt didn’t want to wait that long
to ask for Leah’s hand. Being apart from her for the last ten hours had him more jittery
than the addicts he’d busted stealing copper from the air conditioners on Main Street
last week.

He passed the ring back to Greg. “Got anything bigger?”

“How big you want it?”

Colt spread his palms wide. “The biggest you’ve got.” Despite Leah’s promise that
she wasn’t interested in Dr. Douchebag, he still wanted to outdo the asshole. Colt’s
grandma had passed down a ring for his future wife to wear, but the modest garnet
wouldn’t catch anyone’s eye. He’d give Leah a diamond so friggin’ huge it’d make her
forget whatever sparkler had rested on her finger before.

“Okay.” Greg nodded appreciatively and plucked another ring from his case. “This one’s
a two-carat round brilliant solitaire set in platinum. It’s an I-1 but you can’t tell
because of the way it’s set.”

“An aye-what?” Colt asked.

“I-1. That means it’s got flaws visible to the naked eye. This one’s got a pretty
hefty carbon spot.” Greg scooted closer on the sofa and pointed to the edge of a marble-sized
diamond that appeared crystal clear. “The jeweler who set the stone was smart enough
to cover it with a prong.” He turned it upside down. “But if you look at it from this
angle, you can see a dot of carbon near the girdle. See what I mean?”

Colt took the ring and squinted at the tiny black spot, then flipped it over and scrutinized
the diamond from the top. Greg was right. A shiny platinum prong completely concealed
the imperfection. When Leah wore this enormous rock on her hand, the only thing her
admirers would see was a blinding sparkle that said
Back
off, motherfuckers! This girl’s taken!

“It’s perfect,” Colt said. “How much?”

“For you? Ten strong.”

Ten thousand dollars? That was a lot more than the two paychecks DeBeers suggested
he spend when he visited their website last night. He didn’t have that kind of cash
on him. He didn’t have it in savings either. He could take out a loan or cash in some
retirement, but that didn’t seem like a good way to start a marriage.

Colt slipped the tiny band on his pinky and watched the stone refract the morning
sunbeams over his hand in an array of dazzling prisms. He’d never given a shit about
jewelry, but even
he
was impressed. There was no way Leah would say no to this ring. He imagined the way
her baby blues would widen in shock when he knelt at her feet and pulled it from his
pocket. He simply had to give it to her. Maybe he lacked the greenbacks, but he did
have something Greg had been drooling over for years.

“I don’t have ten grand,” Colt said, then nodded toward the garage. “But I’ve got
a fully restored 1978 Harley-Davidson XLCR Café Racer with upgraded transmission and
suspension. Custom paint job too.”

Greg froze. He’d been after that bike since high school, when Colt had bought it out
from under him at the junkyard. “You’d better not be shitting me.”

Colt held up one hand. “Zero shit. I’ll even throw in the helmets.”

They sealed the deal in less than sixty seconds, and Greg hauled ass out of there
with the title in his fist, probably afraid Colt would come to his senses and give
back the ring. With a promise to return for his truck later, Greg left it parked on
the driveway and elected to ride the Harley back into town. Then he revved up the
hog and rode out of sight.

It stung to lose the old girl, but Leah was worth it. Besides, they’d adopt a couple
of kids, and Colt would be a family man. What did he need with a motorcycle?

***

“I’m going to tell him today,” Leah said to Rachel’s image on the iPad. “For real
this time.”

“Whatever you say.” To her surprise, Rachel didn’t lecture her like Daddy had done.
“I know how hard this must be for you. Just try not to put it off too much longer,
because it won’t magically get easier tomorrow.”

“Oh, there’s no chance of backing out,” Leah said. “Colt called and I told him we
need to talk, so he’s on his way over. I sent Daddy to the grocery so we’d have some
privacy, and he has my permission to tell Colt the truth if I chicken out.” Which
wouldn’t happen. She loved Colt too much to let him learn about his son that way.

Rachel nodded and blew a kiss into the screen. “I’m still sending all my good mojo
in your direction. But this time, don’t use it to get laid.”

“Shh!” Leah cringed and glanced over both shoulders before she remembered she was
alone. “I hate that term. We didn’t get laid. We made love.”

Rachel rolled her eyes and pretended to gag herself. “I’m gonna make
vomit
if you don’t shut up.”

Leah stuck out her tongue. “One day you’ll understand.”

“Sex is sex, no matter what you call it. Some guys are better than others, but it’s
still just bumping uglies.”

Bumping uglies? That sounded so…ugly. Definitely not a fair description of what she
and Colt had shared last night.

The doorbell rang, sending a chill skittering down Leah’s spine. She darted a glance
out the living room window and noticed Colt’s cruiser in the driveway. Oh, God bless,
he was here.

The panic must have shown on her face, because Rachel used a firm voice to bolster
her confidence. “Listen to me, Tink. You’re the strongest, most selfless person I
know. You can do this. Go face him and then call me. I’ll have my cell in my pocket
all day.”

Leah nodded and licked her lips. She could do this. She had to. Numbly, she said good-bye
and powered off her iPad, then stood from the sofa, wiped her palms against her jeans,
and answered the front door.

Colt greeted her with a fistful of daisies. “I know tulips are your favorite,” he
said, “but they’re hard to come by this time of year.” He smiled and drew a shaky
breath while blotting his forehead with his sweater sleeve. He looked even more nervous
than she felt.

“Thanks, they’re beautiful.” She took the bouquet and brought it to her nose, even
though daisies didn’t have much of a scent. “Come on in.”

He followed her inside, where she rested her flowers on the coffee table and took
a seat on the sofa. Colt lowered beside her and quickly captured her cheeks between
his palms for a kiss. She didn’t resist him. A small voice at the back of her mind
warned this might be the last time her lips moved in perfect synch with Colt’s, so
she linked her wrists behind his broad neck and let him capture her mouth for a few
blissful minutes.

When they parted, Colt told her, “I missed you.”

Leah’s heart warmed. She’d missed him too, but she knew she was in danger of losing
her nerve if she spent another moment in his arms. She scooted back to give herself
some space. “Thanks for coming. There’s something important we need to talk about.”

Colt’s expression flattened, his gaze flickering to the newly vacated spot beside
him. His already dewy forehead paled a few shades, and suddenly she understood the
reason behind his jitters. He probably thought she’d called him over here to break
up with him.

“It’s not about last night,” she clarified, taking his hand in both of hers. “I’m
not sorry for what happened.”

“You’re sure?”

“It was perfect. I want us to share a thousand more nights just like it.” Steeling
her resolve, she drew a deep cleansing breath and blew it out slowly. “That’s why
I asked you over.”
You
can
do
this. Stay strong
. She dropped her gaze into her lap and then peeked up at him. “I’ve been keeping
something from you. There’s a reason I left Texas and stayed away so long, and I can’t
let things go any farther between us until I tell you the truth.”

He squeezed her hand and laughed dryly. “You’re not married, are you?”

She only wished it were that simple. “No.”

“Then whatever it is, it can’t be so bad.”

Oh, Lord, yes it could. “I did something really awful, Colt. I made a choice a long
time ago that affected us both, but I didn’t give you any say in the decision. Now
I have to ask you to forgive me.”

He lowered his brows in confusion. “You’re starting to make me worry. Are you hurt
or someth—”

“I was pregnant,” she blurted, the words amplified in the small space. Softer, she
added, “When I left home at the end of senior year, I was two months pregnant.”

His grip tightened around her fingers before going slack. It took a few beats for
him to find his voice. “Was?” He swallowed hard. “Did you miscarry? Or have an…an
abortion?”

“No,” she answered, “I had the baby. I hemorrhaged afterward, and they had to do an
emergency hysterectomy. That’s why I can’t have children.”

He worked free from her grasp and raked a hand through his loose hair. His gaze traveled
absently around the room before settling on her again. “You’re serious?”

“I wouldn’t joke about something like this.” She reached for her iPad and pulled up
a photo of herself at seventeen, her eyes hollow with grief, her belly swollen with
Colt’s child. “That was taken two weeks before I delivered.”

He stared at the photo in silence.

To maintain some distance, she anchored the tablet on the sofa between them, then
swiped through the albums in chronological order. Next came a waterlogged Noah swaddled
in his hospital bassinet, a tiny blue cap covering his cone-shaped newborn head. Other
pictures followed: Noah sitting up on his own, drooling beneath a gummy smile; Noah
standing for the first time, arms stretched toward the camera; Noah perched on Santa’s
lap, face frozen in a hysterical wail.

“You had a baby,” Colt muttered, more to himself than to her.

“
We
had a baby.” She continued swiping through the digital account of their son’s life,
stopping when she reached his third grade portrait. “His name’s Noah. He looks just
like you.”

“We had a baby,” Colt repeated, “and you never told me.”

“No, I didn’t.”

His eyes were glassy, his voice vacant. “I have a son.”

This was the hardest part—ripping the rug out from beneath him—telling Colt that even
though he had a son, he couldn’t be a parent. “Yes and no.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I put him up for adoption when he was born.”

For several long moments, he stared at her blankly, but Colt’s gaze shifted and darkened
as he processed her confession. Then his eyes narrowed in clear resentment. His anger
left her with an odd sense of relief. Finally he was seeing her for who she was—a
flawed, dishonest human being instead of an angel.

“It’s an open adoption,” she explained. “That means I get to see him about once a
month and talk to him on the phone when he feels like calling. They usually give me
visitation around the holidays too. Noah understands that I gave birth to him, but
he doesn’t call me Mom. He’s not my son—not legally. I’m not allowed to sign his school
permission slips or talk to his doctor when he’s sick. So he’s our child biologically,
but not in any other way.”

“And you didn’t tell me,” Colt repeated, but this time his tone sharpened, taking
on a dangerous edge.

Leah’s throat grew thick and her eyes prickled, but she refused to let herself cry.
After what she’d done, she didn’t deserve to cry. “I was young and scared, Colt. I
didn’t know what to do. We’d just broken up and—”

“Is that why you did it?” he asked. “To get back at me for sleeping with you and telling
Tommy after?”

“No!” She couldn’t let him think she’d made this decision out of spite. “I was trying
to do the best thing for our baby.” Memories of that time trickled into her consciousness,
causing tears to well up and blur her vision. “It almost killed me to give him up.
I cried myself to sleep every night for the first six months, and each morning when
I woke up, I wanted to die.” She knew better than to try and take Colt’s hand, so
she wrung hers together and pleaded for understanding. “There’s no pain in the world
like carrying a child for nine months and watching another woman take him home, especially
knowing I can’t get pregnant again.”

“Stop trying to sound like a martyr,” he said. “You did this to yourself.”

“But I was only thinking of Noah.” How could she make him understand? “I loved him
more than I loved myself—or you.”

“Bullshit.” He glared at her like she was something he’d scraped off the bottom of
his shoe. “If that were true, you would’ve kept him.”

Leah gasped at the malice behind those words. If he was trying to hurt her, he’d done
a thorough job. “You’re wrong. It would’ve been easier for me to keep Noah, but it
wasn’t the right thing to do. His happiness was more important than mine. I couldn’t
take care of him—not like he deserved.”

Colt shook his head, unmoved. “I would’ve helped.”

“You were in jail.”

“For a few days,” he argued, raising his voice. “Once I found out about the baby,
I would’ve gotten my act together. I would’ve married you and worked my ass off to
support us.”

“You and me, married at seventeen?” She remembered how wild and arrogant he’d been,
even if time had made him forget. “It would’ve been a train wreck. Neither of us was
ready.”