“This is no concern of yours, Wayborn,” his lordship snapped. “But that’s you all over, butting in where you don’t belong. Have you no conduct?”
“That’s rich, coming from you,” Cary said. “When I just saw you knock a girl to her knees in Piccadilly without so much as a ‘Pardon me.’ If that’s your idea of conduct—”
“What girl?” said Dulwich, with a sneer marring his aristocratic features. “A pet of yours, perhaps? I daresay she’s been knocked to her knees before and will be again.”
Abigail stifled a gasp. Never in her life had she heard such rudeness.
“As a matter of fact, the young lady is my cousin,” Cary said coldly.
“I beg your pardon,” said Lord Dulwich, without so much as a hint of regret. Indeed, he sounded rather proud that his insult had pricked its mark. “You should tell your cousin to watch where she’s going. The stupid chit stepped right into my path. It was her fault entirely.”
“No, it wasn’t,” Cary said hotly. “I saw the entire disgraceful incident. You shoved her in the back, and, let me tell you, when I bring the matter up at White’s—”
“You wouldn’t tell the Club!” said his lordship, a whine entering his haughty voice.
“You sniveling toad,” was the only reply his lordship received.
“What do you want, Wayborn?”
“I want an apology, Pudding-face,” said Cary. “My cousin don’t wish to see you, of course, so it will have to be in writing.”
Mr. Eldridge was very prompt in providing writing materials for his lordship at no charge. To Abigail’s astonishment, Lord Dulwich offered no protest.
“What’s her name, this cousin of yours?” he inquired testily, dipping the pen in the well.
“I’m not telling you her name, Pudding-face,” Cary said scornfully. “Write this: ‘The odious Lord Dulwich humbly extends his profoundest and most sniveling—!’”
“Look here!”
Cary ignored him. “‘
Most sniveling
apologies to the young lady whom he so savagely assaulted in Piccadilly this afternoon. By his failure to offer any apology or assistance to her on that occasion, he has forfeited his right to call himself an English gentleman. Furthermore, his lordship does hereby attest and affirm that he is in fact the most feculent lout ever to disgrace the British empire. Yours in utter moral failure, et cetera, et cetera.’”
“Look here!” Dulwich protested. “Can’t I give her ten pounds instead? Twenty?”
“In my family, we don’t exchange currency for insults,” said Cary. “I need hardly tell you how the members of my Club will react if I tell them what you did. Besides, where would
you
get twenty pounds? Your father’s cut off your allowance, or so you said when you asked me to hold onto a certain I.O.U. just a little longer.”
“For God’s sake, lower your voice!” Dulwich snarled.
“Now sign and date it, if you please.” Cary took the scrap of paper from the Viscount, inspected it briefly, then seemed to forget all about the matter. “I’m looking for
Tom Jones
, my good fellow,” he pleasantly told the clerk. “Would you be so kind as to direct me to it?”
“I was here first,” Dulwich objected. “I want
Kubla Khan
, and I want it now.” He rapped on the counter with his stick, and the unhappy Mr. Eldridge offered to put his lordship’s name on the waiting list. “List?” the Viscount demanded. “What list? Who’s on it?”
“Quite a number of our best customers, my lord,” Mr. Eldridge replied. “Indeed, the demand has been so high that the publisher has already called for a second printing.”
“Very well. Put me on your beastly list,” said Dulwich impatiently.
“I’d no idea you were such a devotee of Mr. Coleridge,” Cary remarked.
“I’m not,” his lordship growled. “I despise all poetry, and all poets too. But, unfortunately, my betrothed is rather excitable on the subject.”
Cary laughed shortly. “Don’t tell me you’re engaged. Who is the poor creature? I should like to send her my condolences on black-edged paper.”
“The lady is well aware of her good fortune,” his lordship coldly replied. “Look here, you fool! If the book arrives before January the Fourteenth, I shall buy it. If not, never mind.”
“And what, pray, is the significance of January the Fourteenth?” Cary asked.
“That is my wedding day,” Dulwich replied, “not that it’s any business of yours. I’ve no intention of wasting money buying my own damn wife a silly book.”
“Very sensible of you,” said Cary. “And you say the lady is aware of her good fortune? Capital. Allow me to wish you joy. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a man so deeply in love. Why, you’re positively radiant.”
Dulwich’s face turned nearly black with fury. “I am
not
in love with her, you ass,” he hissed. “I want her father’s money, and she, I suppose, wants to be a viscountess. When we marry, I shall be able to settle all my debts, including that little bet of ours. Look here, Wayborn, if you start spreading it around that I’m marrying for
love
, I shall have to call you out.”
“Steady on,” said Cary, stifling a laugh. “I shan’t tell a soul you’re after her money. After all, if you don’t get
her
money, I may never get
mine
.”
“What are you doing there, you damn fool?” his lordship suddenly snarled.
Abigail nearly jumped out of her skin. But Dulwich had not discovered her hiding place; he was addressing Mr. Eldridge. “Imbecile! You’re putting my name at the
bottom
of the list. Who is entitled to come before my Lord Dulwich? The Misses Brandon? I think not.”
As Mr. Eldridge watched in dismay, his lordship seized the book and proceeded to cross out the Misses Brandon in order to insert his own name at the top of the page. “I shall make all my friends aware of the staff’s impertinence,” said Dulwich, jerking on his gloves, “and I predict that Hatchard’s will be out of business in a month’s time!”
He paused, as though waiting for Mr. Eldridge to seek to detain him, and then Abigail heard the doorbell ring as his lordship left the shop. A moment or two passed before she felt safe enough to lift her head. Mr. Wayborn was leaning across the counter looking down at her. “You can come out now, monkey,” he said lightly. “The nasty man has gone away.”
Abigail climbed to her feet. “I daresay you think me rather childish,” she stammered, “but I simply can’t bear scenes. It would have been so very embarrassing to see him.”
Cary took her hand and led her around the counter. “I think you did exactly right,” he said. “I only wish I had the courage to run and hide whenever I see the old Pudding-face.”
“I wasn’t hiding,” she said defensively. “I–I dropped my gloves.”
“My dear infant, you’re wearing them.”
“No, not these—the gloves I just bought.” She had the little box wrapped in brown paper to back up her story. “And then, of course, I thought it might look a little odd if I were to suddenly appear from behind the sales counter…so I rather thought I’d better stay where I was.”
“I see,” he said, not believing a word of it. Gravely, he held Lord Dulwich’s written apology out to her. “His lordship wanted you to have this.”
Abigail shyly plucked it from between his gloved fingers. “Did he actually write all those things you told him to?” she exclaimed. “How could he be sure I wouldn’t expose him?”
He laughed. “Because you’re my cousin, that’s why. You’re a Wayborn.”
He looked at her very warmly. To cover her embarrassment, she quickly turned to the clerk. “You
will
put the Misses Brandon back on the list for
Kubla Khan
, won’t you?”
“Of course, madam,” the clerk assured her. “It was remiss of me not to tell his lordship that this is the sixth page of a very long list. I shall place the Misses Brandon at the bottom of page five.” As he wrote, he smiled politely at her. “Might I help you find something, madam?”
“Please attend the gentleman first,” said Abigail. “I’m just waiting for my father.”
“In that case, let me bring you something to look at while you wait,” said the clerk. “I won’t be a moment. I’ll have my assistant find your book for you, sir,” he told Cary. “I believe you were interested in Mr. Fielding’s
History of a Foundling
, popularly known as
Tom Jones
?”
“Who is this Kubla Khan?” Cary asked Abigail when the clerk had gone. “There must be two hundred names on that list.”
“Do you not know the story, sir?” Abigail asked excitedly. “The poem first came to Mr. Coleridge in a dream. When he woke up, it just sort of
poured
out of him onto the page, as if the poet were merely a conduit between this world and the next.”
Cary struggled to keep a straight face. “Fascinating technique,” he remarked.
“Unfortunately, as he was putting it down on the page, he was interrupted by a man from Porlock, who
would
talk business, and when poor Mr. Coleridge sat down to write again, the rest of the poem had passed away like the images on the surface of the stream into which a stone has been cast. Why are you smirking?” she demanded.
He was thinking that she was quite a pretty girl when she forgot to be shy.
“Was I smirking? I beg your pardon. But it should be rather obvious to anyone that Mr. Coleridge is simply too lazy to finish his work. He’s invented a rather feeble excuse, a fairy story, to help him sell a fragment. Is that not some excuse for smirking, if indeed I smirked?”
“What right have you to accuse Mr. Coleridge of making up a fairy story?” Abigail demanded huffily.
“You’re quite right,” he murmured, though he still appeared amused rather than contrite. “I withdraw my cynical remarks. I withdraw my smirk.”
“I should think so indeed,” said Abigail crisply, as Mr. Eldridge returned with a book.
“Good God,” said Cary. “Blake’s
Songs of Innocence,
unless I miss my guess.”
Mr. Eldridge looked at the gentleman with approval. “
Songs of Innocence and of Experience
, sir. A combined volume, very rare. Mr. Blake prints them all himself, you know.”
Abigail shook her head regretfully. “I’m afraid I don’t quite understand Mr. Blake,” she said. “I read part of
Heaven and Hell
last winter, but it was so strange that I had to set it aside for my own peace of mind. And, you know, people say he’s not a patriot.”
“Not a patriot?” said Cary, frowning. “What do you mean?”
Abigail dropped her voice almost to a whisper. “During the war, he was suspected of printing seditious material, and when the soldiers came to his door and said, ‘Open in the name of the King!’ Mr. Blake answered, from behind the door, ‘Bugger the King!’ Which, I daresay, is not a very nice thing to say about one’s sovereign,” she quickly added.
“Or anyone else’s sovereign,” Cary agreed, just managing to keep a straight face. “But the war is over now, cousin, and we are once again free to insult our betters as much as we please, without fear of reprisal. In my opinion—if you happen to be interested in my opinion?”
“Yes, of course,” Abigail said civilly.
“In my opinion, Mr. Blake is a visionary poet without the aid—or excuse—of opium, which is more than your Mr. Coleridge can say. But if Blake is too strong for you, cousin, there’s bound to be a little Wordsworth lying about the place.”
Abigail was indignant. “I rather like Mr. Wordsworth!”
His smile widened. “I suspected as much. He’s so perfectly harmless.”
“It really is a very fine volume, madam,” interjected Mr. Eldridge, still hoping for a sale. “Nothing frightening in it at all. If nothing else, Mr. Blake is a master of the copperplate.”
“If the tiger is good, you should buy it, cousin,” said Cary decisively, reaching for the book. “There,” he said drawing her attention to a poem entitled, “The Tyger.” At the bottom of the page was a cartoon of a muscular beast with amber eyes as big as saucers. Its fiery orange body bore irregular umber stripes, but in no other way did it resemble a tiger.
“It appears to be smirking,” said Abigail critically. “And the poem…It’s like a nursery rhyme, isn’t it? ‘Tyger Tyger, burning bright, in the forests of the night…’”
“Remind me never to visit your nursery!” Cary said, laughing.
Mr. Eldridge looked inquiringly at Abigail. “Madam?”
She shook her head. “Perhaps the gentleman wants it.”
“Excellent tiger,” said Cary. “Wish I could afford it, but I’m rather as poor as Adam at the moment. My man of affairs has ordered me to retrench. You wouldn’t happen to know of anyone looking for a house in the country, would you, cousin? I’ve got one to let, and I could certainly use the rent. It’s an old dower house, a cottage really. Only six bedrooms.”
“Have you tried advertising?” she asked politely.
“Good Lord, no,” he answered. “I couldn’t possibly advertise. Advertisements always draw the very worst sort of people: people who read advertisements. If you should hear of anyone interested in a place, do please send him my way,” he said, feeling about his waistcoat for a card. Finding none, he took Dulwich’s apology from her, turned it over, and scrawled rapidly on the back: “Cary Wayborn, Tanglewood Manor, Herts.” “A recommendation from my fair cousin would be enough for me,” he added with a wide smile.
Flattered, Abigail tucked it into her reticule just as the assistant appeared with
Tom Jones
.
Mr. Eldridge took a ledger from beneath the counter. “Oh, dear,” he said, clucking his tongue. “There appears to be an outstanding balance on your account, sir. Nearly ten pounds.”
“Is there?” Cary replied, unconcerned. “Remind me about that sometime, will you?”
“I think he’s trying to remind you of it now,” Abigail pointed out.
“Is he?” Cary said sharply. “Are you trying to remind me of it now, Eldridge?”
“No, indeed, sir,” the clerk said meekly. “Would you like this wrapped? We’ve some very special Christmas paper printed with holly wreaths. It was the young lady’s idea.”