Surrender (40 page)

you suffer from bad dreams frequently of

late. Is there a particular reason, do you

think?"

 
No."

 
I only ask because I, too, have had

the occasional unpleasant dream," he said

softly.

 
I imagine everyone does from time to

time."

 
Yes, but my dream is a very specific

one and it is always the same. Is yours?"

She hesitated.
 
Yes." Then, probably in

an effort to change the focus of the

conversation, she asked quickly,
 
What do

you dream of, my lord?"

 
Of being trapped beneath a dead horse

in the middle of a field of dead and

dying men." Lucas drew a deep breath

and looked at the flickering candle.
 
Some

of those men took a very long time to die.

Every time I have the dream I have to

listen to them in their agony. And I have

to live through the torment of wondering

whether or not I shall also die, wondering

whether one of the human vermin who

come out to loot the dead after a battle

will simply slit my throat for me and end

the matter once and for all."

Her small, anguished gasp and the

fleeting touch of her fingers on the sleeve

of his dressing gown brought his eyes back

to her face.

 
How terrible," Victoria whispered.
 
Dear

God, Lucas, how ghastly. Your dream is

even worse than mine."

 
Of what do you dream, Vicky?"

Her fingers clenched around the sheet

and she looked down.
 
In my dream I am

always standing at the top of a staircase.

A
  
a man is coming toward me. He holds

a candle in one hand and a dagger in the

other."

 
Lucas waited, sensing there was more.

Something about the way she had hesitated

over the phrase
 
a man" gave him the

impression her nightmare figure had a face

she recognized. But it was obvious she did

not intend to add to the description of the

dream and he was unwilling to jeopardize

their new intimacy by prodding her for

details.

In fact, Lucas decided, he had already

gotten closer to her tonight than he had

at any time since the fateful night he had

made love to her. If he was wise, he would

not push too far, too fast.

Strategy, he reminded himself. In the

long run, a man always got farther with

strategy than he did with force.

He suppressed a groan and got to his

feet.
 
Are you all right now?"

She nodded quickly, not quite meeting

his eyes.
 
Yes, thank you. I shall be fine."

 
Then I will say good night. Call me if

you need me, Vicky."

Forcing himself to walk back to his own

chamber was one of the hardest things

Lucas had done of late.

The following afternoon Victoria sought

relief from the tension of the ever-so

civilized, now-silent battle raging between

herself and Lucas by fleeing into the

nearby woods with her sketchbook.

She walked for some time before

coming to a halt. Eventually she chose

a comfortable spot on a hill beneath some

trees where she could sit gazing out over

the uninspiring view of the depressed

farming community. From here she could

see the cottages that needed patching, the

rutted lanes that needed repair, and the

nearly empty fields. Lucas was out there

somewhere in one of those fields, she

knew. He'd made plans to ride out on

an inspection tour with his steward this

afternoon.

There was certainly much to be done

here, Victoria was forced to acknowledge.

Whatever else one could say about her

husband, at least he apparently intended

to put her money to good use. There was

no evidence yet that he was going to pour

it into wine, women, and song.

But, then, Lucas was not a frivolous

man, in spite of his reputation as an

accomplished game ster.

Frowning at her uneasy, chaotic thoughts,

she bent her attention to the small plants

and grasses around her. With a practiced

eye she picked out several familiar species.

But then she spotted a rather unusual

cluster of mushrooms and her interest was

immediately piqued in spite of her mood.

She opened her sketchbook.

This was what she needed, she thought.

She wanted the temporary peace of mind

her sketching and painting could bring

her.

Victoria spent a long time detailing

the delicate mushrooms, losing herself in

her work, Time passed quickly and the

pressures of her new marriage faded, at

least for the moment.

When she was finished with the mush

rooms, she went on to draw several

interesting dead leaves that had fallen

nearby in a graceful heap. After the

leaves she discovered a quite fascinating

puffball. Puffballs always presented a

serious challenge. It was difficult to get just

the right airy appearance without sacrificing

the tiny details. Botanical drawing was an

exhilarating combination of art and science.

Victoria loved it.

Two hours later she finally closed the

sketchbook and leaned back against the

tree trunk. She discovered she was feeling

much better. Calmer and more steadied.

The warm afternoon sun felt good and

somehow the fields and farms below did

not look quite so bleak. There was hope

for stone vale, she thought suddenly. Lucas

would be able to salvage these lands. If any

man could do it, Lucas could.

With her money, of course.

But even that thought was not as

irritating as it had been earlier. An insidious

notion occurred to her. Perhaps Lucas had

had a point last night at dinner. What had

she ever done that was so terribly useful

with her money in the past?

Nevertheless, it was her money. Victoria

scowled at that notion and got to her

feet, brushing leaves from her walking

dress. She must remember that she was

the innocent victim in this situation.

Three days later Victoria made her first

trip into the village. She had wanted to

ride on horseback, the better to explore

her new home, but Lucas had put his

foot down immediately.

 
I will not have the new Countess of

stone vale make her first public appearance

on horseback. A certain amount of pro

priety is demanded in this instance,

madam. You will go in a carriage

together with a maid and a groom or

you will not go at all," he stated.

As her relationship with Lucas could

only be described as precariously balanced

at best, Victoria had decided not to argue

the point.

In choosing that course of action, she

realized she was fast becoming as prudent

as the rest of the household. She was

learning that it was decidedly easier on

both herself and the staff of stone vale if

she refrained from challenging her husband

at each and every turn.

It irked her to think she might be

surrendering some small stretch of ground

to him. But the truth was, it was difficult

to maintain her bristling defenses twenty

four hours a day. She was accustomed

to being happy with Lucas, not at war

with him.

And there were definitely a few distinct

benefits to maintaining some semblance of

peace in the household, she grudgingly

admitted to herself There was no denying

that in response to her newfound discretion,

Lucas, in turn, refrained from letting

everyone feel the chill of his shockingly

cold temper. The man had an air of

absolute authority about him, which, when

he chose to exercise it, got attention in a

hurry.

His capacity for leadership and command

was, Victoria had decided, in part a product

of his military background. But she also

suspected that a good portion of it came

very naturally to Lucas. He was a born

leader.

And the arrogance of a natural leader was

no doubt bred in the bone. Without such

arrogance and the accompanying leadership

characteristics, Lucas would not have had a

chance of salvaging stone vale and the land

around it.

Victoria reflected on that unpalatable

notion as the carriage jolted uncomfortably

over the bad road into the village.

She had to admit that she had caught

an occasional glimpse of the hard steel core

of Lucas's character before her marriage.

Indeed, it was probably part of what had

drawn her to him. But the truth was, she

had rarely been forced to confront that

steel directly. Lucas had, after all, been

deliberately wooing her. Naturally he had

hidden the more unpleasant elements of

his nature from her.

 
You cannot really be meanin" to shop

in this drab place, ma'am," Nan said as

the carriage entered the main street of the

village.
 
Hardly the likes o" Bond Street or

Oxford Street, is it?"

 
No, it certainly isn't. But we aren't

here to find a ball gown. My goal is just

to have a look around and perhaps meet

some of the people with whom stone vale

does business on a daily basis. This is

our new home, Nan. We must meet our

neighbors."

 
If you say so, ma'am." Nan did not look

convinced of the wisdom of the idea.

Victoria smiled faintly and decided to

make the appeal on a more practical basis.

 
You have seen the conditions at stone vale.

The house is in a terrible state. Utterly

deplorable. His lordship is too busy with

his farmers to worry about the running of

the household, and being a military man,

I doubt he would know how to run it, even

if he tried."

 
That be true enough, I reckon. Runnin'

a household the size o" stone vale is a lady's

job, beggin" your pardon, ma'am."

Unfortunately, I fear you are correct Nan.