Surfacing the Rim (Piercing The Fold) (21 page)

Adam nods. “Yes.”

He leans closer to the screen and speaks to us. “And, the soulless are cast out of heaven.” I recognize the biblical reference instantly.

Elisha questions, “So you think whatever is drawing us in is soulless and has some sort of attraction to ours?”

Adam responds, “Yes.” He looks down at his folded hands before speaking. “It seems evident to me that my spiritual beliefs have become stronger than my scientific ones lately.”

None of us say anything. I know I have questioned my beliefs on both in the past six months. I sense the others have as well.

Adam clears his throat and looks up at us through the monitor. “After all that we have encountered thus far, you as well as I know that science can’t explain everything. Something spiritual is at work here as well. We just don’t know if this advanced race tendencies will be good or evil.”

Ang brings the conversation back to the concern of where it is drawing us. “Where will we go once we are drawn into the black hole?”

Claiborne’s dark brown eyes look directly at Ang. “It has been theorized that once you are in the black hole, you will be torn to pieces. But, there are other theories being considered now. Theories that explain there is more to a black hole…much more.”

Luke has been very quiet until now. He asks, “Hmm…do you mean the possibility of black holes being connected to white holes?”

Claiborne adds, “Our galaxy, our world, is being pulled into the black hole and pushed out through the white hole on the other side…into another universe…another reality. Even more, the black hole might evaporate before we are pulled into it. In any case, all of these theories are just that. Until we are faced with it, we can’t prove them.”

This comment brings out the theorists in our team. My mind starts thinking of all the what-ifs for us, our world, our galaxy, and our survival. Everyone starts talking at once, and I feel overwhelmed.

I yell, “Just stop it!”

The team gets quiet and looks at me. I cover my mouth, realizing that I just said that aloud.

I slowly move my hand away from my mouth and whisper, “Just stop.”

I look down at my shaking hands. I bring them together to try to control them. Xander comes to stand next to me. I know he has seen my shaking body. He doesn’t touch me. He just stands by my side.

Balthazar studies my reaction briefly, and then he turns to the screen. “Claiborne, keep us updated on any new developments. We need to concentrate on our trip to Tokyo.”

When the screen goes black, I close my eyes and say aloud, “I’m sorry. I just couldn’t listen to anymore theories.”

I back away from everyone and walk to my room. I hear Elisha say my name, but I ignore her as I walk up the spiral staircase.

I realize what Balthazar was saying earlier about how some people will be too weak to move forward and evolve when the intersection occurs. Every day for the last six months, I’ve been enveloped in theories of how our world will change and how I’ll need to change with it.

In this very moment, I feel like I might be one of the weak that will stagnate and die rather than adapt and survive. How can I possibly be one of the strong if I’m so overwhelmed with fear and doubt?

Tears cloud my vision, and I close my eyes. I curl up on the bed and cry until I can no longer think.

* * *

“Jesca.”

I hear my name. I breathe in deep and slow, and then I open my eyes, thinking I heard a woman say my name.

The room is dark, except for the small amount of light coming through the window. I look at Elisha’s bed, and it’s empty and still made. She hasn’t come up to the room yet.

I listen closely for the others, thinking that they have to be up still. I hear nothing, which strikes me as odd unless this is a dream.

I roll over and start to stand when I’m caught off-guard by a slender figure standing in the corner of the room. I scurry backward on the bed until I’m against the headboard.

Knowing that she has startled me, the figure says in a trembling feminine voice, “Please don’t be afraid of me.”

Leaning against the headboard, I close my eyes and work on breathing slowly. God, it’s a dream. Once I think I’ve calmed myself, I answer her in a shaky voice, “I’m not. You just caught me off-guard.”

I slowly slide away from the headboard and down to the foot of the bed, not taking my eyes off of her. I’m afraid if I do, then she’ll disappear.

I question her, “Who are you?”

Her voice is stronger now, but it’s still soft and nurturing. “Someone close to you.”

She steps forward a little. I gasp as I see her face in the faint light of the room. Her hair, the shape of her face, her eyes. As I look at her, I could easily be looking in a mirror. Since this is a dream, I test out my theory and turn my serious scowl into a soft smile.

The woman’s smile matches mine. My chest tightens, and with my hands tightly clasped over my mouth, I muffle a whimper wanting to escape my lips. Oh my God. It’s my mother, Anna.

Tears sting my eyes, and my heart is melting as I watch her slowly walk toward the bed. I watch her every move. I’m fascinated with everything about her. She comes to softly sit next to me on the bed. It’s the craziest thing, but I can feel her life force. She’s dead though. How is that possible?

Her smile is soft as she speaks. “When you die, your life force, your soul, carries on when your body no longer can.”

My eyebrows furrow. I’m confused. “So, you’re a ghost?”

Anna answers, “Not quite. Ghosts are not aware that they’ve passed, and they’re lost between this world and another where time is different. I am fully aware of my passing, and I am not lost.”

I feel a cool breeze on my forearm, and then a warm sensation of touch rests on it. Anna rests her hand on my arm, and I can feel her just as if she were flesh and blood.

I breathe in slowly, trying to control the tears that are flowing from my eyes like a fountain. God, this is my real mother sitting right here next to me, touching my arm.

I whisper, “Where are you?”

As soon as I say those words, I’m sorry for the way it may sound to her. Anna shakes her head, sensing my worry. “Jesca, I know what you meant. I am very far away—too far to have ever been able to reach you like this.” Anna’s eyes begin to well up with tears. “I have tried to make contact with you through my abilities, but they haven’t been able to cross over into your world.”

Her tears are falling now, and her voice is trembling and soft. “Moments ago, I felt your life force. That is something I will never forget. I had to try to reach you to tell you that it is alright to be afraid.”

She turns her body toward me and rests both of her hands on mine now. The energy from her passes through my skin and warms me. Anna continues, “You are afraid of what this world is becoming. When I was your age and new to the guardianship, I was afraid as well. I doubted myself and my abilities as a guardian.”

She looks down at our hands, and her hands gently squeeze mine. I instinctively squeeze back, holding on to her presence. Her eyes move back up to mine. I notice they are the same color eyes I possess, and I feel joy and sorrow all at once. Joy because she is here, but sorrow because she’s here only like this.

Anna’s gaze burns with pure power. “That doubt and fear was no match for my hope and faith. I knew I would do all I could within my power to achieve my purpose as a guardian. And, Jesca…” She pauses as her breath quickens. Then, her voice fills with raw emotions. “I know that your inner strength is what’s going to make you succeed at your purpose. I know this because you are stronger than I ever was.”

Anna gets quiet, and I sense her thinking about that night in the cabin when she died. My heart begins to break, watching my mother recall the night.

Anna says, “Jesca, even as a toddler, you called to your father to try to save us both.”

Is she forgetting the fact that I failed? I raise my voice. “But, I didn’t save us both! I didn’t contact Dad soon enough, and you died!”

Anna answers, “Jesca, it wasn’t your fault.”

I try to pull my hands from hers, but she holds them in place, not letting me go.

Now, I yell, “How can you say that? He said that it was too late when he got to us!”

She pulls me closer to her. “Yes, it was too late, but not because he didn’t try.”

I blink my eyes and furrow my brow, not fully understanding what she just said.

I speak slowly, repeating her words. “Not because he didn’t try? What do you mean? He said he wasn’t linked to you. He said that it was harder to connect to you. But, you’re telling me he tried?”

Anna’s voice breaks between words. “He wanted to combine our abilities and save me, but I knew my purpose had already been fulfilled and that my time here in this world was done.”

I search her eyes, waiting for her to tell me more.

Anna continues, “My purpose was for your father and me to bring you into this world so that you could carry on our legacy.”

She gives me a glimpse into her mind, her memories. Sam pulling her from the sofa. The sound of me crying in my crib, then darkness. Anna opening her eyes to see Sam hovering over her panicked. The sound of me screaming for my mother muffled in a distant room. My mother senses my father, Ezra. Anna sees Sam’s eyes widen in fear, sensing Ezra’s presence as well. Then the sharp pain and the spreading burn crawls within her chest. She looks down to see the blood soaking her top, then up at Sam as he backs away. Sam whispers shakily, “I didn’t want it to be this way Anna. If you had just chosen me, I would have protected you from them.”

Just then, Sam turns and runs as Ezra’s voice fills the room. Anna’s body melts further into the chair as her life slips away. She focuses on my cry to keep her here for as long as possible. Long enough to speak to Ezra. Ezra comes into her view and everything around him blurs.

I close my eyes to block out the last memory my mother has of my father—him weeping over her.

I whisper, “Sam took your life. It wasn’t your time.”

I feel warmth on my cheek, and I open my eyes to see my mother’s hand on my face.

She shakes her head and whispers, “It isn’t what you think. It was my time to leave this world.”

I have reached my breaking point. With my mother’s soul sitting before me, I physically and emotionally break and let go of all the sadness, sorrow, confusion, and pain. I lean forward, hoping that I’ll feel the corporeal presence of her body when I encircle my arms around her. My emotions unravel when I feel the physical warmth of her. She holds me tight and soothes me, only like a mother can. It doesn’t matter that I haven’t felt her touch in more than sixteen years. My heart and soul remember it. I lie my head on her shoulder as she rocks me and holds me close.

A deep, familiar voice tears through this peaceful moment.

“I knew you would come to her when we got closer.”

I know that voice. Just beyond my mother, I see the same dark looming aura that has haunted and chased me for as long as I can remember.

My mother pulls back and looks me in the eyes, ignoring the presence looming behind her. “Never stop fighting, Jesca Kahn.”

The dark form takes on the familiar characteristics I remember from the night at the club. The steel-blue eyes, the tan skin, the dark hair peppered with gray, and that smirk. It’s Sam.

With one hand, he rips my mother out of my arms and throws her against the wall.

I scream, “No!”

He turns away from me, striding over to her crumbled body. She’s trying to stand back up, using the wall for support. I jump from the bed and run to her, but Sam stops my advance. His hand grabs me by the throat, and he pulls me up off the ground. I claw at his hand to try and loosen his grip, but he only holds on tighter. I’m seeing stars, and I know I’m about to pass out. I still fight my hardest to keep my eyes open, keeping my gaze on my mother as she leans against the wall.

She whispers, “Never stop fighting, Jesca. Never stop fighting, and you will surface.”

I close my eyes, not to die, but to force every ounce of energy into the center of my soul. When I feel its fullness, I clasp on to the hand around my neck and release that energy directly at Sam.

Sam stumbles back, releasing me, and I drop to the ground. I get my bearings and turn to go to my mother, but she is gone. She has disappeared.

I call to her, “Mother!”

In seconds, Sam picks me up off the ground and throws me onto the bed. He’s pushing me down with his body, and his hands are around my neck, taking away my life.

I look into his blue, steely eyes, and they’re vacant of emotion. I want to plea for my life, but I realize it’s pointless to beg for something that has no value to the one trying to kill you.

Suddenly, his face shifts. The features melt away briefly, revealing someone else. Then, Sam’s face returns. I blink and push back against him harder to get a better look. For a brief moment, I wonder, Is this Sam or someone else?

I close my eyes, not wanting his vacant eyes to be the last ones I see.

I try to speak, but it comes out like a wheezing whisper. “No! Don’t do this!”