Superstar: Horn OK Please (18 page)

“What about Winston? How do we take him down?” asked Goose, who was listening earnestly to the plan. It seemed to make sense after all.

“Easy, we burn him down along with this dump tonight. Jeremy won’t ever be able to trick hapless travelers into his Mansions of the Gods”, said Hound smiling, knowing he had a foolproof plan to burn the house down. I understood the ‘burn the house down’ part.

“OK. Let’s just for a moment assume that we’re able to pull it off and we trap the Doppelganger. But what makes you believe that Winston will not be able to make out the difference between the Doppelganger and Jenny?” quizzed Goose, not wanting to be left out cold and alone in the dopey zone.

“Much as I hate to answer that, we need to thank Derek for what he did yesterday. To a beastly wolf, she might just smell like Jenny after she had sex with Derek. At least we would be able to buy time to get Jenny out of the mansion, out to safety”, said Cathy, as a matter-of-factly as though these things were commonplace and everyone these days was screwing Doppelgangers all over the world and talking about it on Facebook and Twitter.

As we listened to the wise ladies intently, Lobsang continued explaining the plan to us, “The mansion must be burned to the ground tonight if we are to take away that one thing that is Winston’s weakness.  This mansion is his passion and is the very purpose of his trying to make a comeback in Jenny’s body. This place lends it purpose after 350 years of oblivion. It is from here it shall rise again. Without a purpose, Winston will be lost. The same logic applies to Jenny’s Doppelganger. The only way we can put her off guard and trap her is by playing with her very purpose”

“And how do you propose we do that?” said Hound, finally waking up to an awesome plan that seemed to be making sense with every passing word.

“Tie–up Jenny and throw her into a pre-formed circle and make her play dead. The moment Jenny’s Doppelganger sees Jenny as a helpless prey; it will be tempted to come real close to Jenny, just to hurt her. The moment the Doppelganger is inside the Circle of Light, you morons must do something to bring the Circle of Light to life with fire. Jenny must escape then and jump out of the Circle of Light and we bring her out. Winston shall come at stroke of midnight and Jenny must use her mind to burn the house down….only fire can cleanse evil Winston’s soul”, said Lobsang.

“What if it doesn’t work?” I asked. I’d understood the part when Jenny was supposed to jump out of the circle.

“Then we all are going to die anyway tonight and pure evil shall be born to this earth tonight. So, what’s it going to be? Live or die?” replied Cathy, expecting me to nod in agreement, which I did, only to avoid any further questions that demanded any more thought.

“What happens to the urn? How do we free those trapped souls?” asked Goose, making a face as though he’d been making a living by freeing trapped souls since the day he was born.

“I know what needs to be done for them. It needs my blood to free the tornado of souls, but that can happen only after the duel with Winston. Either he wins and he takes away those poor 199 souls or I win and free them all”, said Jenny with a faraway look in her eyes, “I’ve been touched by the Wolfman. I’ve been touched by death. This plan will work. I know….” said Jenny, as we turned around to notice her presence. She had been there all along, listening intently to our conversation. We hadn’t noticed Derek or her presence.

I wondered where Derek found this loony woman to fall in love with. I must have seemed to reflect Goose’s sentiments as well for he was nodding as he looked at me, expecting me to do the same as though it were some kind of crazy ritual in this mansion of freaks.

“Are you sure that evil bastard Winston-in-wolf’s-clothing would die if we burn down this house?” quizzed Hound, who seemed like the only one who seemed to have understood everything that the wickedly intelligent Lobsang and Cathy had to say.

“He who cannot be killed needs to be delivered to hell. Winston’s great grand daughter is going to do just that, tonight. Don’t ask me how I shall, for I don’t know the answer yet. But I know that the answer will come to me when I turn 23…”, said Jenny, her voice trailing off as Hound walked across to her and took her in his arms and held her tight for a while. Jenny didn’t resist. Derek chose to look away. He must have sensed that the awesomely intelligent conversation was way beyond his comprehension. Little did Derek know that the plan had been frozen and he had to play an important part to save Jenny’s life.

Hound looked puzzled with the plan. He had lost Cathy and Lobsang a long time ago. The question marks floating around his head showed as Lobsang whispered into my ear, “Chief, I don’t suppose Hound knows what he’s got to do. He cannot think beyond Jenny today. Can you please explain the plan to him? Same with Derek!”

I nodded.

Cathy and Lobsang got up and left the Crystal Room along with Jenny. She had to be prepared for tonight. Cathy said that she would break the news to Jeremy that the mansions of the Gods will be burned down tonight. It would break his heart to see his Scotch collection from Winston’s days go up in flames. Jenny would explain to Nanny that she would have to leave all her pink belongings behind. Lobsang instructed that not a pebble be taken away from this house. That meant our stuff would go up in flames as well.

Plan in motion:

“That’s it, then. Come on, boys, let’s rock ‘n’ roll!” said Goose, as he got up and cheerfully headed straight to the garage, “I could do with some help around the place, do you mind?”

“I don’t know a thing about what these two ladies spoke about, Goose, but I do believe they have a plan. I hope you know what you’re doing. How do we explain all this to Hound now?” I said, as I lifted the heavy ropes that I was in-charge of. The ladies had asked me to make a lasso. I’d read a lot of Lucky Luke comic books, so that was easy for me.

“Don’t worry, Chief, just tell him that he has to run inside a flaming building, pull a rope so it starts raining petrol on the wolf. That’s more than enough for Hound. Anyway, the logic seems so damn complicated to me too. We’re supposed to make a lasso and set it on fire, that’s it, right?” whispered Goose as he struggled to lift the heavy rope trying to help me.

“And what do I tell Derek?” I asked, knowing Goose would have an answer. He did.

“Tell him that he has to rush inside a house on fire and rescue Jenny. He has to play the Knight in shining armor. He’ll understand that much. I’ll take Jeremy to the local market with me and buy some fire-resistant gloves and clothing. We’ll need a lot of protective stuff tonight. You work on the ropes, Chief”, said Goose as he turned and walked towards Jeremy’s office.

That boy made sense. Sometimes, too much information is harmful for your brain. I was supposed to make a lasso and set it on fire. That was cool. Anything beyond that sounded way too complicated for me.

The rest of the afternoon kept us all very busy. Lobsang worked out the size and location of the ‘Circle of Light’. They decided to paint out the circle with white paint precisely in front of the fireplace. Cathy painted a full circle that was to 6-feet in diameter as Lobsang gave the instructions. Hound and Derek went about clearing all the furniture and carpets between the main lobby entrance and the Circle of Light. They pushed everything to the wall and made sure there were no obstacles in the escape route.

Jeremy and Goose returned with battery-powered lamps, blankets, cotton rolls, bandages, fire-resistant gloves, medicine and many cans of petrol. The horse stable, barely 20 meters away from the lobby was to be our makeshift camping place tonight. Jeremy and Goose were in charge of putting it in place.

I was made in charge of making a circular loop of rope that would be 6-feet in diameter and be placed exactly on top of the circle painted on the wooden floor. The long end of the lasso rope was to come right to the lobby. Cathy painted it out for me. The rope was thick and it was made of cloth. We’d chosen it for this would be soaked in petrol and laid out exactly15 minutes before midnight. This would encircle the Circle of Light inside which Jenny would lie bound and gagged.

Jenny would be wearing white for the Doppelganger’s lack of aura before midnight would always have her dressed in black. Anything the Doppelganger would wear would look black. If she romped around naked, she would just look like a floating black bed sheet with a white border. We would be able to tell Jenny and her Doppelganger apart only till midnight, so the Doppelganger had to be trapped before midnight. After that, heaven help us if that huge, evil beast of a wolf has a change of heart and chose not to destroy the Doppelganger. To put it mildly, we would all be dead if the plan failed.

There would be exactly 23 candles touching the rope from inside and Lobsang helped me carefully lay the lasso that would form the outer ring, barely touching the Circle of Light. Cathy went about tying the candlewicks carefully to the rope as I uncoiled the lasso to extend the end of the rope beyond 20 meters from the circle. The plan was to keep the rope and the entire mansion soaked in a highly combustive cocktail of kerosene, petrol, Bacardi, Scotch and Redbull for at least 15 minutes before midnight. 

Five huge buckets full of petrol would be hoisted to the ceiling right above the Circle of Light exactly 15 minutes before midnight, the controls of which was the other end of the rope that was tied to the bannister close to the Circle of Light. It would be Hound’s job to untie it and let the fuel fall on the wolf when Derek would rush inside the flaming mansion.

Jenny would lie inside the Circle of Light, dressed in a white fire-resistant jacket, bound and gagged and pretend to be a sitting duck for her Doppelganger. Jenny would be holding on to a sharp knife to cut the ropes loose before Derek would come in and yank her out of the Circle of Light once the Doppelganger was trapped inside it, a few minutes before midnight.

I would set the rope on fire, waiting and watching at the lobby entrance the moment Jenny would start screaming. That would be the cue for me. The flames would spread immediately and Derek would rush inside before the fire would get completely out of control within a few seconds once both Jenny and her Doppelganger would be inside the Circle of Light. Derek was supposed to grab Jenny and bring her out to safety while Hound was to play upon the beast’s confused state for a few seconds, rush inside the flaming lounge and yank the rope from the bannister to soak the beast with five buckets of expensive petrol that would rain upon it from the ceiling.

While Hound’s job was be to barbecue the evil Winston, Derek was to play the Knight in shining armor. Both of them would be wearing protective clothing. They would be mummified from head to toe as the temperature inside the Mansion of the Gods would be very high. Goose would stand with me at the lobby entrance and play the Grand ruler. I was the extra, the flunkey who had the ultimate pleasure to set fire to the haunted mansion of the Gods.

Nanny was entrusted with the job of cleaning the stable while Jeremy helped her tie the horses. Jeremy had instructed Nanny not to wear pink that night lest the horses die of fright. Jeremy set the mattresses, blankets, medicines and the battery-powered lamps inside the stable. He had chosen not to inform the local authorities to save the D’Silva family from shame and dishonor. He let the security guards off duty for the week.

Once the evil beast Winston had destroyed the Doppelganger and once we had toasted Winston, the plan was to head out to the cemetery along with Jenny and release the tornado of souls inside the clay urn and set them free. Jenny’s drop of blood on the urn would do the trick.

We would then party the night away with Jenny, Nanny, Jeremy, Lobsang and Cathy. Derek and Jenny would live happily ever after. This was the plan.

Preparations over, we headed back to the Crystal Room where Nanny brought in a cake she had baked for Jenny. The cake was shockingly pink. The essence reeked of some strange and gaudy, voodoo-essence that would have best left forgotten or let it be buried in chopstick Nanny’s grave along with her when she was all dead and gone. Maybe, we’d throw in chopstick Nanny to scare away the evil beast if the plan failed. That was Plan B and it was foolproof.

Jenny cut the cake while Derek ate most of it. Jenny watched him lovingly, full of awe. Hound clapped for Jenny and sang the loudest. Goose and I watched as Hound made a fool of himself; dancing on the dining table with lipstick Nanny to the tune of an awesome track called
‘I cant help falling in love with you’
by the band called
UB40
. It came to him so naturally. Love sure was deaf, dumb, blind and stupid.