Superstar (15 page)

“No, but I’m different. Remember this was
years ago. I hope I’ve grown up a bit.”

“Yeah, you’ve gone from flying under the
radar of the paparazzi to beating the crap out of them.”

“I don’t regret a second of that.” Sioux
didn’t respond. “Anyway, I think I got with Gwen because she wasn’t
in the business. She worked at a bank. Was nice, quiet and subdued.
I think I liked that about her.”

“So, what happened?” Sioux asked, refusing
to ponder the characteristics that made the other woman so
attractive. She was the exact polar opposite.

“As the relationship went on, I don’t know,
she got incredibly clingy. She’d throw tantrums and make scenes in
public. Now you’ve got to understand, some of this was my fault. I
mean, I think she sensed I was maybe with her mainly because she
wasn’t in the public eye. I think she was jealous of some of the
other women I’d dated. I was still struggling with celebrity back
then, and mainly saw her as a nice soft place to land. It was
unfair for me to use her like that.”

“Okay, I think I understand. Did you break
up with her?”

“Yeah, and when I did she went to a tabloid
and claimed I raped her.”

“What?” Sioux asked, stunned by this
revelation.

“Yeah. It was totally fucked up.”

“How the hell did I miss this?”

“Well, you were knee deep in your own drama
at the time. It didn’t go far before B.T. squashed it.”

“How did he do that?”

“I agreed to take a lie detector test. He
had to call in a lot of favors, but yeah, he shut it down.”

“Knowing B.T. I’m surprised he didn’t milk
it for the publicity.”

“Oh he wanted to, but I insisted. I won’t be
labeled a rapist no matter how many records it sells. Rocky said I
should sue for slander, but that was the last thing I wanted.
Eventually she married some guy at her bank and that was the end of
it.”

“Wow. That really sucks. It’s bad enough to
have people go after you for stuff you didn’t do.”

“Well, like I said, it didn’t blow up in the
tabloids, probably because I’m not a star.”

Sioux relaxed back against the buttery
smooth seat of the little two-seater. “Your mom is really nice. And
those shortbread cookies are to die for.”

“She likes you. She doesn’t offer shortbread
to just anyone.”

“She thinks I’m your girlfriend. And get
this, she’s actually happy about it! Who the hell have you been
dating that your mother is happy to see the friendly neighborhood
dope fiend show up at her door?” Sioux teased with a grin, which
quickly dropped when she realized he wasn’t laughing. “Oh Thad I’m
sorry. I wasn’t joking about Gwen.”

He shook his head firmly. “No. No. It’s not
that. What do you mean she thinks you’re my girlfriend?”

“I know. Isn’t it ridiculous?” Sioux laughed
again, though at this point she had to force it.

“What are you, if you’re not my
girlfriend?”

“Ah, come on dude, you know we’re just
friends. Nice and uncomplicated.”

He opened his mouth as though to object.
Then closed it. The rest of their trip home was made in total
silence. Sioux was sure she hadn’t heard the last of the issue, but
she was glad he had let it rest for the time being.

Chapter Eight

“What are you working on?” Thad asked from
the door that opened onto Sioux’s deck from her bedroom.

Sioux was sitting on the deck, which ran the
length of back of her house. The deck had built- in seating all
around the perimeter and she sat there with her guitar and sheet
music spread all about. It was still early in the day, not yet
eight o’clock and she was playing her guitar, the sea birds diving
for their breakfast her only accompaniment. She looked up, pushing
back one of the thick plaits she wore for sleeping.

“Superstar,” she said. “I’m not sure about
the arrangement, but then I never am.”

“Don’t know why you’re always so worried
about that. You’re a good arranger and your playing is getting
better.”

“You think so? That’s high praise indeed
coming from you. Thanks.” She played a few more bars then launched
into the song made famous by two legends: Karen Carpenter and
Luther Vandross.

He joined in on the last verse, his clear
sweet tenor blending effortlessly with the rough contralto of her
voice. The sound was so magical, she began again and he went with
her, joining her in the various combinations she tried. As they
finished, he took the seat next to hers on the deck.

“That was amazing,” she said as she made
some notes in her songbook. “You should sing more. Your voice is
great.”

He shrugged. “Pretty standard choir stuff.”
He studied the lyrics for a moment. “So you’re going with the
groupie version, huh? Aren’t you worried that saying sleep with you
again instead of be with you again will cause a scandal?” he asked
with a wry twist of his lips.

Sioux snorted a humorless laugh. “Oh, you’re
really funny. Unlike Karen, I don’t think I have a reputation to
ruin at this point. This version suits me better.” She smiled at
his tousled appearance. He was wearing his usual pajama bottoms and
t-shirt, but it was obvious he hadn’t bothered to even brush his
hair before joining her on the deck. The urge to smooth it down was
almost irresistible. It was good to see him relax his impeccable
sartorial standards for once. His lightly tanned complexion was
still flushed from his deep slumber and his eyes still had a
slumberous appeal. Just looking at him was enough to make her want
to pull him back into the nearest bed. “Did you sleep well?”

“I slept great considering a certain
insatiable person kept me up all night.” He leaned down to salute
her with a soft kiss, but pulled away before it go interesting.
Tease. “Want some breakfast? Did I spot a waffle iron in your
cupboard?”

“Probably. My mama bought all sorts of stuff
when I first moved out. I haven’t the slightest clue about using
any of it.”

“Now, why doesn’t that surprise me?
Fortunately for you I make incredible waffles and if you have any
fresh fruit and cream…”

“Mama stocked up when I was sick. She takes
advantage of any opportunity to baby me.”

Just then her phone began buzzing. She
picked it up and after looking at it, got up immediately from her
seat and rushed toward the house. “I’m sorry. I have to take this.
You go ahead and start breakfast,” she said, dashing through the
French doors and leaving him staring after her.

After a quick reconnoitering of the contents
of Sioux’s kitchen, Thad collected the ingredients he needed to
make Belgian waffles. Like the rest of the house, the kitchen was
spacious and airy with a view of the beach and two skylights to let
in additional light. As he mixed the ingredients for Belgian
waffles, he fumed as to who Sioux’s mysterious caller could be. By
the time she returned he was quite aggravated and got right to the
point.

“Who was that?”

She paused in the midst of setting up the
coffee maker. “Who was who?”

“On the phone?” Thad knew he was being
irrational. He had no claims on this woman, but it wasn’t for lack
of trying. “Who is it that calls you in the middle of the night? Is
it your boyfriend?”

Sioux threw up her and gave him an
aggravated look. “Are you serious? I told you I wasn’t seeing
anyone. No. I’m in recovery, remember? Being in recovery means I
sponsor others. One of the people I sponsor is having a tough time
right now. It really was a bad time for me to go on tour, but she
seems to be working her way through. I’m incredibly proud of
her.

Thad felt like a total idiot. He’d never
once taken into consideration that she’d be a sponsor or would need
to stay in contact with those she sponsored. He walked over and
took her shoulders in his hands.

“I’m sorry. I’m such an idiot. I don’t know
why I get so crazy. I was a total jerk.”

“Yeah, you were. I told you already that I
don’t cheat. I have lots of flaws but that isn’t one of them. If
you’re going to keep this up, this relationship isn’t going to last
very long.”

Thad immediately zeroed in on the most
important thing she said. “Relationship?”

“You know what I mean.”

“But you said relationship.”

Sioux shook her head at him. “And they call
me relentless. We are friends. Good friends who enjoy a sexual
relationship. Does there have to be more than that?’ She stepped
back into his embrace. “But for the record, it’s okay. I should’ve
mentioned it.”

“As you pointed out, you don’t owe me any
explanations.”

“I know that, but it’s not like I’m keeping
it a secret or anything.”

Thad forced a smile he didn’t feel. “So are
you ready for the best waffles you ever tasted?”

Sioux sat astride Thad’s hips, his cock deep
inside her. She rose slowly so slowly then down again. Testing him.
Teasing him. Their bodies sliding together so deliciously. She
looked down at his contorted features. If she didn’t know better
she’d swear he was being tortured. His head was canted back in an
awkward position. She watched his jaw muscles clench as if he was
holding back a scream of agony, or ecstasy.

“Please. Please. Sioux. Oh God,” he
gasped.

“Please what, baby?”

“Stop teasing. Fuck me. Please fuck me.”

And with him urging every movement of her
hips she began to move with a driving force. Her hips rising and
falling with blinding speed as she drove to bring him to the
finish.

“I love you,” he screamed as his back arched
into an impossible position. His orgasm rocketing through his
body.

On the cusp of her own climax Sioux gasped
as his words took her over the edge.

She collapsed next to Thad on the bed. They
both lay motionless on the mammoth bed, their tremulous breaths the
only sound in the room. After a while he gave her a questioning
look, his eyes narrowed against the dwindling light coming through
the French doors of her bedroom. She struggled to think of anything
she could say in response to his declaration, but her throat closed
over any sound she might have made.

He eventually rose from the bed, used the
bathroom then collapsed beside her again when he returned.

“You don’t mean it, you know,” she said.

In true Thad fashion he didn’t pretend
ignorance of the subject filling the room, dispelling even the
potent aroma of their shared sensuality. “Are you really telling me
what I feel? I love you. What the hell do you have against that?
What do you have against me?”

“You’re such a nice guy.”

“Oh yeah, it makes perfectly good sense that
you’d have a problem with that.”

“Don’t be an ass. You know what I mean.”

“No. No. I haven’t a clue what you mean. And
why shouldn’t I be an ass? The woman I love just told me I don’t
love her. And even worse, she certainly hasn’t said she loves
me.”

“Oh for God’s sake, Thad.”

“Nope. You still haven’t said it.”

“You know I’m a mess. I drove the last man
that loved me to rehab.”

“You did no such thing. You’ve got this
crazy hang-up that you’re responsible for everything. Yeah, you
fucked some stuff up. Who hasn’t? Look at me and Gwen…”

“I’d really rather not…”

“You know what I mean. Seriously though.
You’ve got to stop kicking your own ass. I mean, I don’t know if
it’s part of recovery.”

“I have to own my own shit, if that’s what
you mean.”

“Owning your own crap is one thing. Taking
responsibility for someone else’s is another thing entirely.”

“You’re a nice guy, Thad.”

He rolled his eyes. “Not this again. You
make it sound like I’m a serial killer.”

“Yes, this again. I don’t mean it that way,
but you’re really a good guy. You broke up with Solange because you
couldn’t deal with the paparazzi. You said yourself that’s the only
reason you dated Gwen.”

“Oh yeah. Nice guys make a habit of using
people like I did with Gwen.”

“Now who’s owning somebody else’s fuckery?
Gwen sounds like she was a head case from the very beginning.”

“What has any of this got to do with
us?”

“My life is endless paparazzi. I thought
when we let Honeychile go that would be the end of it, but it seems
to be worse. They’re all over me and I don’t think they’ll ever go
away.”

“I told you. I can deal.”

“Trig thought he could deal too. I can’t
take that chance again. The guilt. The guilt almost killed me.”

“I would think that would be my
decision.”

Suddenly uncomfortable with her nudity Sioux
rose from the bed and pulled on the robe that lay at the foot of
her bed. “Why do you have to keep pushing? Why can’t you be good
with what we have?”

“Probably because I’m not made that way.
When I love a woman I want to have a relationship with her. I would
hope she loves me back. Is that too much to ask?”

Sioux began to slowly pace around the room.
“No. You’re a great guy, Thad.”

He groaned and flopped back on the bed in
disgust.

“No No. I mean it. You’re a great guy and
any woman would be happy to have you. But right now I don’t have
anything to offer…”

“Did I ask for anything?”

“But is that fair to you. You deserve more
than a shell of a woman…”

“Sioux, for fuck’s sake…”

She turned to face him, the setting sun
creating a glowing nimbus around her figure. “I’m sorry Thad, but I
can’t see you anymore.”

He sat up. The perspiration on his chest
glistened like dewdrops along with the golden hair that lightly
peppered his body. More than anything she wanted to join him on
that bed and forget everything but being with him.

“Are you kidding me?” he asked.

“It’s too much. I just can’t.”

Thad sprang from the bed and began pulling
on his clothes with angry movements.