Supernatural Transformation: Change Your Heart Into God’s Heart (10 page)

Many people don’t recognize when this process is occurring within them. Therefore, when they seek solutions to their problems, they deal with only the symptoms. Suppose a person is experiencing depression because he feels guilty for repeatedly committing a sin. Modern medicine’s solution to this problem would generally be to prescribe an antidepressant drug. Meanwhile, in an effort to feel better, the individual might try to raise his self-esteem through mental exercises like repeating positive affirmations to himself. But if the person really wants a solution to his depression, he must deal with the root of the issue, which is found in his heart.

Sin will grieve our heart, and the resulting guilt we feel due to our wrong attitudes and actions can generate a state of “paralysis” that depresses our emotions. If an individual struggling under these conditions would ask God for forgiveness through Christ and forgive himself, and as well as forgive others who have hurt or offended him, his heart would heal, and, consequently, his depression would disappear.

Let’s look at another example. Suppose a child constantly rebels against his parents because he does not receive the love and attention from them that he needs. Perhaps they are too absorbed with each other, with their careers, or with other activities. Under these circumstances, the child’s rebellious behavior is not a reflection of “bad character” or a desire for independence. Its source, or root, is the pain and loss he is experiencing in his heart. The parents’ reaction to his rebellion might be to punish him, to bribe him with food or gifts, and/or to send him to a psychologist for counseling. Yet to resolve this issue, the parents would need to recognize their neglect, repent of it, seek God’s forgiveness, and begin to provide their child with a more supportive and loving home based on God’s love. If this change does not occur, the child may become angrier and even grow bitter, hardening his heart against his parents and others—including God.

Although we are all accountable for our own sin, one contributing factor to recurring sin in people’s lives is the false perspective of much of the modern church that no longer identifies sin as sin. Instead, if someone sins, he is said to have “issues,” “a sickness,” “a condition,” or something similar. Our generation is preaching a self-help gospel from which the message of the cross and the resurrection has been removed. And yet, that message alone addresses the reality of sin, its root, and its solution. Again, if we are truly going to deal with matters of the heart, we must recognize the root of issues and not just the branches, or the symptoms. To preach without the intent of seeing people rescued from iniquity and experiencing transformation is, in essence, a deceit. It is not the gospel of Jesus Christ. We must call sin “sin.”

2. Holding On to an Offense

Another cause of a hardened heart is a refusal to let go of an offense. Offenses affect millions of people who have felt affronted by a spouse or child, a teacher or classmate, a boss or coworker, a pastor or fellow church member, or someone in another realm of life. We will explore the topic of dealing with an offended heart in greater detail in the next chapter of this book.

Taking offense at other people—as well as offending them—is rather unavoidable in life. Jesus said,
“Woe to the world because of offenses! For offenses must come, but woe to that man by whom the offense comes!”
(Matthew 18:7). I haven’t met anyone who has never been offended by another person or who has never offended someone else. As believers, we are called to undergo a process of spiritual and emotional development, of growing to become more like Christ. Along the way, during the maturation process, we will inevitably offend others by our mistaken attitudes, our careless words, and our hasty actions. Not only have we all been offended by others, but we are all continually being presented with opportunities to take offense, and we will all be offended for one reason or another in the future. The important thing is that we not hold on to an offense, because to do so is to encourage spiritual hardness—something we do not want to risk.

Often, after we have been offended by someone, we repeat the memory of the offense over and over in our mind. Yet an offense doesn’t really reside in the mind but in the heart. The effect of holding on to an offense is as devastating as being bitten by a poisonous snake and having its venom spread throughout our body. If we refuse to let go of an offense, if we never deal with it, an area of our heart will become hardened—often in a subtle way, little by little. Then, when we least expect it, our spiritual senses will be numb; we will have lost sensitivity in the emotional and spiritual realms of our life. What’s more, we may be in danger of spiritual death, for, if we want God to forgive us, we must forgive others. Jesus said,
“For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you”
(Matthew 6:14).

Rather than become spiritually hardened, let us recognize that offenses can actually be useful to us, because they reveal the true condition of our heart. When we are offended, we see what is really inside us—whether anger and bitterness and contention or grace and forgiveness and peace. We have to learn to deal with offenses, not only when we experience them but also when we cause them. When we are offended by another person, we should try to understand his motivations while forgiving his faults. And, we should seek reconciliation with other people whom we are aware we have offended. If we have affronted another person, we must learn to acknowledge our error, repent, ask for the person’s forgiveness, and seek to restore the relationship. This last part is necessary even if we were not in the wrong. As Paul wrote,
“Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody.
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone”
(Romans 12:17–18 niv).

A hardened heart will eventually result in spiritual death.

3. Harboring Emotional Wounds

Our emotional wounds are usually inflicted by the people whom we love the most—often, those who are closest to us and to whom we have opened up our heart. People may experience the deepest emotional injuries during childhood. Some young people are continually hurt or abused by a close relative—for example, a father, mother, uncle, or cousin—and many people are marked by such wounds for the rest of their life. Similarly, even when we are older, we may be wounded deeply by a parent, spouse, child, sibling, close friend, or authority figure, such as a pastor or boss.

Consider your own emotional wounds. Perhaps they were generated by people who failed to show you love or who neglected, rejected, abandoned, underestimated, or betrayed you; who showed you contempt or disdain; who abused you (verbally, physically, or sexually); who exploited you (for example, sexually or in the workplace); who deceived or defamed you through fraud, lies, false accusation, or slander; or who persecuted you for your faith. Whatever the origin of the wound, if you have not already been healed, you need to be healed today, because the related area of your heart has been damaged and hardened.

Hardening is an inevitable consequence when our hurt is allowed to remain. For example, we may harden our heart as a method of emotional survival when we are unable to forgive the one who has hurt us, making healing impossible. Yet, in God, we can find the grace to forgive others and to receive healing for our emotional wounds.

Solange is a businesswoman whose heart was hardened when she was a young girl after she suffered sexual abuse and experienced the resulting mental and emotional pain. She was blinded by the works of the enemy and the limitations of religion, so that she could not experience the freedom and love of God. The following is her story.

“I grew up in the United States in the Catholic faith, but I looked for Christ because I was tired of being in a vicious cycle of drug addiction and suicidal thoughts. I had been sexually molested by two uncles when I was very young, and I was raped at age fifteen. Even though I didn’t tell anyone what happened to
me, I still felt great shame. I hated my body and couldn’t even stand to be in my own skin. That is when I started to contemplate suicide. I tried taking pills and drugs, drinking alcohol, and even starving myself. Even though I wanted to die, I was also afraid of death. But, at some point, the feeling of filthiness within me became stronger than my fear.

“I was a bitter, negative person. My heart was full of unforgiveness and hate, and I lived in judgment of everyone. I felt captive in a spiritual prison and desperately needed a way out. I had always known of the existence of a ‘Jesus Christ.’ I wanted to talk to Him and surrender my burden, but I didn’t know how to do it. I lacked direction, and I felt lost, but I didn’t know how to live any other way. I didn’t know if I was coming or going. I was an emotional and mental disaster.

“When I eventually accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior, my life began to change in ways that I had only imagined in my dreams. I went through inner healing and deliverance, and I felt whole once again. I began to accept who I was and to love myself the same way God loves me. Now I am free of shame, resentment, and hate. I thank the Lord for freeing me from so much pain!”

You don’t have to spend the rest of your life in pain. If you have been hurt, now is your opportunity to begin the process of becoming whole again. Allow the Spirit of God, like holy oil, to enter your heart and heal you. I encourage you to read chapter 5, “Healing for an Offended Heart,” today.

4. Disobeying the Voice of God

Our heavenly Father created human beings to be in relationship with Him. His plan was always to have clear and permanent communications with us. Even after the fall, God has continued to speak to humans through various means—sometimes directly, and at other times through His angels, His prophets, His written Word, or other avenues. His ultimate expression of Himself is the person of Jesus Christ:
“The Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth”
(John 1:14).
“God, who at various times and in various ways spoke in time past to the fathers by the prophets, has in these last days spoken to us by His Son…”
(Hebrews 1:1–2).

The most common question I have heard people ask is, “How can I hear the voice of God?” Many people recognize their inability to hear His voice, whereas it should be something natural for every believer, since the Scriptures say,
“The sheep follow him
[Jesus, the Good Shepherd],
for they know his voice”
(John 10:4; see also verses 11, 14). However, if our heart is hardened, it will not hear God, nor will it see or otherwise perceive Him. Often, as God was preparing to release His judgment on sinful people, He would appoint a righteous person to announce His punishment, in order to give the people an opportunity to hear God’s message, repent, and be saved. Quoting from Psalm 95, the writer of Hebrews urged his readers,
“Today, if you will hear
[God’s]
voice, do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion”
(Hebrews 3:15).

One of the most frightening results of a hardened heart is that when an individual no longer hears truth and direction from God, he begins to conform to an artificial reality. What happens next is a situation we observe in some Christians who live according to fantasy, mysticism, or religiosity. They are spiritually dry and stagnant in their relationship with God because they stopped hearing His voice and began hearing other “voices”—societal, philosophical, religious, demonic, and so forth. Let us all earnestly seek God so that we may hear His voice and
“not
harden
[our]
hearts as in the rebellion.”
In chapters 8 and 9, we will discuss what it means to have an obedient heart that is surrendered to God.

5. Unbelief

“Beware, brethren, lest there be in any of you an evil heart of unbelief in departing from the living God”
(Hebrews 3:12).
“An
evil heart of unbelief”
is evidenced when a person decides, of his own free will, not to believe in God and therefore not to obey Him. This decision is an open act of rebellion and defiance. In chapter 6, we will discover how to be free from an unbelieving heart. As an introduction to this topic, let’s look at the testimony of a young woman named Dámari. The spirit of unbelief took hold in her through the negative influences and bad circumstances of her childhood.

“I grew up in a shattered home. My father was addicted to alcohol, drugs, and pornography; and, for as long as I can remember, he physically and verbally abused my mother. From the age of six, I would ask God to give me a sister, because my brothers never paid any attention to me. My father was obsessed with my mother, and neither of them would pay any attention to me or spend time with me. My faith diminished as my prayers went unanswered. In the midst of this great family chaos, I decided to believe that God did not exist, and I became an atheist.

“The situation at home grew worse each day. One morning, I was awakened by the sound of my mother punching defensively against a table as my father tried to strangle her. That same day, he came after my brothers and me with a knife; we ran throughout the house because he wanted to kill all of us! After this episode, he was allowed to visit with us only under supervision. But this lasted for only for a short time; he stopped coming, and we didn’t know what became of him. A year later, I decided that I no longer had a father—he was dead to me.