Superhealing: Engaging Your Mind, Body, and Spirit to Create Optimal Health and Well-Being (ARC) (26 page)

True self-love is always present; we only need to remove the dis-

harmony that is preventing its expression. Nothing has to be different for us to be whole. It is a matter of changing our perspectives and perceptions.

One of the easiest ways to begin is to start to pay attention to

yourself. Attention is the act of applying the mind to something with awareness—you, in this case. Listen to your inner voice and to what you are saying to yourself. We often speak more negatively to ourselves than we ever would to anyone else. Usual y, we criticize ourselves more than we praise ourselves.

Some in our culture would argue that to focus on and nurture

ourselves is to be selfish. Self-love is often confused with narcissism.

Narcissism, or self-centeredness, is the opposite of self-love. It is demanding, immature, and unrelenting. Narcissists are compensating

for a falsely perceived sense of their own inferiority. Arrogance and 178

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selfishness are outward manifestations of fear and insecurity. Narcissism seeks to soothe our pain, but it is a poor and incapable sub-

stitute for self-love. It tries to gain from the outer world something that only the inner world can provide. A secure soul, in contrast to a narcissistic one, is open and loving.

Learning to love yourself, however, doesn’t mean that from then

on everything will always come up roses. Difficulties will persist, and sometimes they become even greater. The sign of our growth is

not the absence of difficulties but the way we handle them. The superhealing that comes from loving ourselves softens our negativity, loosening its grasp. We take responsibility. We make conscious and unconscious choices of how to respond to any situation.

Self-love is the portal to superhealing, which comes not from us

but through us. That portal leads to a pathway with no ultimate destination, since there is no endpoint to your optimal health and well-being. Like a blossoming flower, it continuously unfolds from the

center of your being and occurs in its own way and own time.

Superhealing is unique to each of us. For a few, the alignment

that leads to superhealing occurs quickly, even spontaneously. More commonly, though, it takes months, years, and sometimes decades.

And even when it does occur suddenly, it’s truly just the beginning, an initiating event of sorts.

What about the past? How does everything that we have done

before now affect the present? The past is over. Let it go. There is no need for guilt or blame, only for understanding and healing. One

day, perhaps even sooner than you can imagine now, you will be-

come more appreciative of the lessons that past events afforded you, as difficult and challenging as they might have been at the time.

The path of superhealing guides us to our primary and insepara-

ble wholeness, the core of our being. Peace of mind, self-acceptance,

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and knowledge of one’s true nature comes from living in tune with

one’s inner self and experiencing the spirit within. To be whole is to be complete, to be all-encompassing.

THE SUPERHEALING POWER OF TOUCH

Skin is our body’s largest organ, containing millions of nerve re-

ceptor cel s, and touch is the first sensation we experience, beginning in the womb long before we are born. Touch is a primal form

of communication, a formidable and fundamental ingredient of our

humanity. Indeed, perhaps it’s the most critical element of our humanity, integral to every intimate, emotional y involved relationship we have. The vehicle for sharing love, kindness, and support, touch is a vital to human expression and interaction.

Touch is not limited to our relationships with other people but

extends to those with animals as wel . Something amazing occurred

with rabbits in a study at Ohio State University that baffled the researchers. The rabbits were being fed a high-fat diet to test a new cholesterol-lowering drug. Based on earlier findings, the researchers expected highly predictable results. But this was not the case. Despite their unhealthy diet, certain rabbits had no sign of heart disease. The scientists couldn’t figure out why; they didn’t have a clue what was going on in their own lab.

The researchers had anticipated that there would be some less-

ening of atherosclerosis (hardening of the arteries) because of the drug, but they had never seen animals fed such a high-fat diet show not even minimal signs of heart disease. By comparing the disease-free rabbits to the other rabbits that were on the same regimen, they knew it wasn’t genetic. Nor was it was due to their sex; some were male and some were female.

So what caused these particular rabbits to not develop heart

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disease in a tightly controlled and monitored lab setting? What factor defied the expectations? The researchers conducted a painstaking review of the procedures and of everything that had happened to

these rabbits. They couldn’t or wouldn’t believe the apparent reason.

Here’s what stymied them.

The rabbits were kept in rows of cages stacked on top of one an-

other. The lab technician who fed them was a short woman, and the

researchers discovered that she would take only the rabbits on the lower tier out of their cages and hold them, pet them, and talk to them while they ate. No one wanted to believe that loving the rabbits while they ate would affect their physiology as dramatical y as it did. So the researchers repeated the test twice more and got the same results. The petting continued to be the sole protective factor.1

Something profound happened to the petted animals. I believe it is compelling evidence of the power of love. The feeling of being loved that they got from the lab technician’s demonstrations of attention and affection changed their physiology despite the fact that they were not living a normal rabbit’s life. Those few moments of petting while eating a very damaging diet altered their physiology in a very positive way.

Years earlier, I was intrigued by a similarly fascinating study about touch. During my junior year in college, while taking a child psychology course, I learned something that to this day continues to

haunt me with awe and sadness. Baby primates and humans will die

if they are not touched, even if they receive proper nutrition. They wither away from a condition known as
failure to thrive
.

Being touched lovingly can reduce one’s blood pressure, heart

rate, and cortisol level and can trigger the release of oxytocin, the bonding hormone, and endorphins, the natural opiates that help the body’s cel s function more efficiently.2

The Touch Research Institute at the University of Miami School

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of Medicine has conducted more than 100 studies on touch and dis-

covered proof of its significant health-enhancing effects, including weight gain and growth in premature babies, improved functioning

of cancer patients’ immune systems, reduced pain, lower glucose

(sugar) levels in diabetic children, and decreased autoimmune dis-

ease symptoms.3

Other studies have scientifical y determined that emotions can

be expressed by touch. Researchers at DePaul University in Indiana evaluated people being touched by strangers they could not see. The one doing the touching was directed to attempt to communicate a

particular emotion, and the majority of those being touched were

able to accurately determine the emotional state of the toucher. This suggests that we can communicate several distinct emotions through touch: love, gratitude, anger, disgust, fear, and sympathy.4 This study also suggests that touch is a much more meaningful method of communication than previously considered. It may be that touch heals

but that it needs the person doing the touching to be in the right mood. That may explain why a mother’s hug can literal y “make it

better.” How often do mothers say, “Let me kiss it and make it better”

when their children skin their knees?

The United States has been found to be one of the cultures with

the least amount of touching, compared to others. For example,

Dr. Tiffany Field and associates at the Touch Research Institute observed teenagers at McDonald’s restaurants in Miami and Paris to

measure how much they touched and engaged in aggressive behav-

ior during their interactions. American teens spent much less time touching, embracing, and stroking their friends compared to their

French counterparts, although they engaged in more self-touching.

The Americans were also more physical y and verbal y aggressive.5

Preschool children in the two countries were then observed while

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playing outside with their friends and their parents. Again, the

American children were more aggressive toward both their parents

and their friends and touched them less.6

THE POWER OF LOVING RELATIONSHIPS

While touch is a powerful aspect of our communication with oth-

ers, our relationships are also central to superhealing. We exist in a relational universe—that is, everything exists in relation to everything else—and this framework gives meaning and perspective to life.

As a species, humans are social beings. (This also applies to some animals, such as elephants and dolphins.) Relationships are the fundamental way we express love, and it has been proved that healthy

relationships have a tremendous positive affect on our well-being.

Isolation and adversarial relationships contribute to physical decline and psychological turmoil.

From the moment of conception to the time of death, relationships

are a pervasive and encompassing part of life, serving many impor-

tant functions. Social isolation is is a significant health risk. Researchers made a dramatic finding in the 1980s when, after following thousands of residents of Alameda County, California, for several years, they determined social isolation to be a significant risk factor for al diseases, including heart disease. Since then, others scientists around the world have confirmed a link between the lack of social support and the development of heart disease in humans and animals.7

Did you know that supportive relationships are the strongest pre-

dictor of good health thoughout the course of our lives? Family ties and friendships enhance our health and exert one of the most potent protective mechanisms against the development of disease. Examples abound, from the healing power of social support to the benefits of a happy marriage.

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A study of patients recovering from heart attacks found that those with lower amounts of emotional support were nearly three times as likely to die in six months as those with higher levels of emotional support. Social support is linked to lower death rates from a variety of other diseases, and there is relatively strong evidence linking it to aspects of the functioning of the cardiovascular, endocrine, and immune systems. Death from conditions of these systems occurs more

often among people who are isolated. In fact, isolation is considered to be a comparable risk factor to smoking, a sedentary lifestyle, and high blood pressure. The quantity and quality of our social relationships are related not only to the prevention of disease but also to longevity. Isolation was defined, as being physical y apart, i.e., separated from others to the extreme. While there are certainly people who prefer to be alone, most don’t, and the physical and perception of separation from others, and the absence of emotional support, are powerful determinants of health.

Studies have shown that in general, married people tend to be

healthier and happier than those who are single.8 For example, a

supportive, happy marriage is linked with greater longevity after a diagnosis of a life-threatening illness, faster recovery from an injury, and a lower risk of infection.9 A loving wife is also associated with a decreased risk of men developing ulcers.10 In another study, a wife’s love was associated with a 50 percent reduction of angina (chest

pain) compared to that experienced by those who felt unloved and

unsupported.11

Depression is a significant risk factor for coronary artery disease and heart attacks. Studies have looked at participation in voluntary associations and religious groups, the number of close friendships, and the distance from one’s primary source of support as significant predictors of the development of the symptoms of depression. De-184

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pression has been linked to the size of a person’s social network; the fewer the number of friends, the greater the chance of developing depression.12 Studies on the health-enhancing value of support groups have documented their positive effects on reversing heart disease (in conjunction with diet modification, relaxation, and physical activity) and on extending life in terminal y ill cancer patients.13

One of the most fascinating studies I’ve ever read involved the

residents of Roseto, a small town in Pennsylvania. Early in the 1960s, this small town became well-known to the national medical community because the residents had a very low incidence of heart disease despite the fact that they ate a high-fat, high-cholesterol diet and drank alcohol on a regular basis. Researchers sought to discover the cause of this unusual phenomenon and concluded that the supportive, interactive, and close-knit nature of the town’s primarily Italian American population created an immunity to heart disease.