Superego (25 page)

She started to turn away, and I impulsively reached out and grabbed her. I pulled her to me, and there we were, close together in a shed, she wearing her tight clothing that emphasized her chest, when her previous outfits had never even confirmed she had breasts. I realized my mind—which was already more irrational than usual—was going in even more unhelpful directions, so instead I looked firmly into her blue eyes and said, “I'm already in this…Diane. And I've never run from anything.”

She stared back for a few moments. And then she embraced me—my second hug of the day. Except this time I hugged back. She was vulnerable and alone, but she felt safe with me—I think that was the message she was giving me with the gesture. And though wordless, the message I sent returning the hug felt like the biggest lie I'd ever told…even though I didn't mean it as one. She was scared and confused. So was I.

“I don't deserve you,” she said, and that was probably true, unless she did some particularly horrible things while working for Nystrom. “I've spent a long time trying to make up for what I was, and now I feel like I'm just causing more hurt by letting anyone care about me.”

That seemed pretty true, since my feelings for her were the sole cause of the sudden uncertainty I was experiencing in my life. I wasn't mad at her for it, though; I had a fool notion growing that she was worth it. “I'm not a saint, either. But I am someone who likes to get things done.”

She finally let go to look me in the eye, and I was again surprised by the piercings on her face, which I assumed were fake. “I don't know everything about you, but we've already been through a lot together…and that was real. And I know there is greatness in you. That's what we need now, because there is a lot at stake. We're talking criminals and murderers running rampant. Zaldia would only be the beginning.”

To someone other than me, that would sound pretty awful. “And you think we can do something about that?”

“I want to try. There is a real plot to kill Gredler, and I think I know who is behind it. How much do you know about Agent Dawson?”

“I've only met her a couple times…but something has always seemed a little off about her.” Without thinking, I flexed my right hand.

“Well, I'm pretty sure I was fingered as the killer to throw people off the trail of the person who's really plotting the assassination. I had scrubbed my record pretty well, and the only people with the information to identify me would be people actually working with Nystrom. Earlier today I followed Dawson to a building downtown known to have a very secretive bordello inside—I've seen evidence over the years that the bordello is really some sort of Nystrom meeting place practically out in the open. I've seen them do similar things on other planets back when I was with them. I think she is the assassin…or knows who is.”

Well, I had to give Diane credit for being on top of things…despite missing the one important detail right in front of her face. And how long would that stay secret? This was a dangerous, silly path to go down, but apparently I wasn't basing decisions on logic and rational thought anymore. “I admit that doesn't sound too far-fetched for her, but do you really think Nystrom has people that high up in government?”

“I know they do. Do you think you could find out more information on her? And maybe Verg, too?”

I thought about that for a moment. “She's sort of hinted at some job opportunity for me without giving me many details. Maybe I should see what that's about.”

“It makes sense that she would see you as a possible recruit for Nystrom. If that's what she's trying to pull you into, be careful. It's not something you can easily get out of, as I can attest. Still, if you can get some information on their operation here, that's a starting point.”

“And the idea is to save Gredler?”

She had a look of scorn on her face. “He's a Randatti stooge, and I'd like to kill him myself—but that's how I ended up in a really bad place a long time ago.” Her expression became distant. “I have a history with them.”

“A history?”

“They killed my family. That's how I ended up with Nystrom—it was the easiest way to get revenge. Before I knew it, though, I was just a cold-blooded killer who didn't care about anything anymore.” She shook her head and looked back at me. “I don't have time to get into that. The point is we're saving Gredler just to stop Nystrom's plan. The next step is to expose Gredler and his Randatti connections and any other syndicates that try to seize more power through the conference.”

“And how do we do that?”

“I don't know yet…but I'm working on it. I know I can come up with something. I have been hiding in the shadows and collecting information for so long, and I have nothing left now but to go after them directly. That's another reason I'm hesitant to bring you very far into this—this is going to be extremely dangerous, to say the least.”

I shrugged. “Meh.” Extremely dangerous is where I live.

She laughed. “Well, you're just a badass, aren't you?”

“Pretty much.” I pointed to her outfit. “And I guess you're like a hard-nosed punk or something.”

She blushed and immediately put her arms up to hide her cleavage. Diane was modest…but my guess was that Melanie wasn't. And here was a capable killer embarrassed to be showing too much skin. All these years of trying to be someone “better,” and all she did was temper her deadly skills with a few extra vulnerabilities. But that was a part of what made her so interesting to me.

“I do have a decent amount of experience at changing my appearance,” she said, “but I haven't done it in a long time. I think next I'll try something that fades into the background a little more. Anyway, I'd better get going—I have some other leads to follow up on. Plus I don't know how many eyes Nystrom has out there, so we really need to be discreet. See what you can find out about Dawson, and we can touch base again tomorrow and share information. You said you like animals. How about the city zoo tomorrow at this time?”

I didn't like animals when they were caged—too artificial—but that wasn't really the point. “How will I find you there?”

“Don't worry about it. Just be there, and I'll find you. Oh, and if any of my friends contact you, just…” She hesitated. “I don't want to ask you to lie, but I don't want to draw them into this. It's better for them to think I'm every awful thing being said about me than to try to help me. Anyway, I can't thank you enough, Rico. Now please stay safe.”

She started to leave, but I grabbed her once more. “Make sure I see you again.”

We spent another moment in silence, and I began to lean in toward her, but she pushed me back. “Rico, you wondered before why I don't date much. It's because it just never seemed fair to do that to another person. Don't fall in love with me. It's not going to end well.” And then she pulled away from me and left as I stood there speechless.

I really had no idea what I was doing. I was operating with no plan and no real goal. But one thing was certain: I was excited.

CHAPTER 28

“You know, it would be rudimentarily simple for you to confirm Diane's suspicions about Nystrom's presence, considering you know for a fact who the real assassin is.”

I sat on my bed looking at one of my empty holsters. I hated being unarmed. “I'm not an assassin, Dip. I'm a hitman.”

“So what exactly are your intentions with Melanie the ex-killer?”

I had no answer for that. “I'm not sure she's done killing.” I was pretty sure she'd know a way to get me guns if I asked.

“Either way, does she actually fit into your current plans? I haven't ever known you to have side ventures during a job.”

Either I was still going through with this job, and Diane would know the truth about me in a couple of days, making leading her on rather pointless, or…I wasn't going through with the job.

It was a fantastical thought…perhaps “blasphemous” was the better term. This was my life—I had a job, and I did the job and focused on nothing else. If I didn't stick to that, my whole life would unravel. And yet sticking to this job made me apprehensive as well. “Diane doesn't trust Morrigan. I don't trust Morrigan. That makes us allies. What I want to do now is figure out more of the larger picture here. I want all the details, and if Morrigan won't give them to me, we'll find them out another way.”

“Actually, I may have a way to assist you there. I've noticed some transmissions from this planet using an old Nystrom protocol. It's a protocol meant for communication with the executives, but you were given access to it for your recent mission on Irona. If this is what Morrigan is using, and if there is no additional security on the communications, I should be able to listen in.”

“And you didn't mention this before because…”

“Spying on your own employers never seemed important to you before.”

No, it hadn't been. I was crossing a line here. “What do I need to do?”

“You need to get Morrigan to call the Nystrom executives but notify me first so I can direct all my processing power to catching the signal.”

I looked again at the empty holster. I was going to need weapons soon. “I can do that.”

“And what exactly is your plan after that? Is there any chance you'll team up with Melanie to destroy all the syndicates?”

A laughable notion. They were huge, even beyond my own ability to comprehend them. “The future is uncertain, Dip. We'll see what happens.”

“If you want, I could try to find more information about Melanie Fincher for you, now that we know her real name.”

“I know enough about her.”

“It would seem that someone who has been pretending to be an officer of the law for ten years and who was previously a hired assassin would be a hard person to know.”

“She said her parents were murdered. That would be a defining moment for most people. Messes you up in the head.”

“Were your parents murdered, Rico?”

“My mother was.” Wasn't sure why I let that slip.

“Did you kill your mother?”

That made me laugh. “No, but that's a smart guess. I didn't really care about her murder, but I was a wacky kid. That's just how I was made.” I stood up. “Enough small talk, Dip. Let's go get some answers.”

Morrigan looked around cautiously as she sat across the table from me. “When you said you wanted to meet at a café, I was little concerned you were going to get some childish payback and blow it up around me.”

It was an outside table at a small café downtown. Light foot traffic around it. Plenty of exit paths…not that I thought Morrigan would attack me. Still, I had to at least consider the possibility—I didn't think she was really as crazy as she acted, but I knew I could have been wrong. “That would be hilarious, though, right?”

Morrigan laughed. “Yeah, I guess it would. I mean, I'd be pretty angry and would probably literally rip your head off, but from an outside perspective…pretty funny. Anyway, this better be important, Rico. I have a lot of balls in the air, and I don't have time for chit chat.”

“Well, I'll get right to it—”

“Hold that thought.” Morrigan turned and called out. “Waiter! Could you please get our order?” She batted her eyes at the human male waiter standing nearby.

“Certainly, miss. What would you like?”

“Do you have keth brew?”

“Yes we do.” certainly

“Awesome. I will have a cup of that.” She turned to me. “You ever had keth brew? It's like coffee, but better.”

I turned to the waiter. “I'll have green tea or your closest equivalent.”

He nodded, took one more glance at Morrigan, and went away.

Morrigan looked at me with disgust. “You are so boring. How do you even stand yourself? How many times have you contemplated suicide?”

“Never saw anything to gain from that.”

She rolled her eyes. “Too boring for suicide.” She looked me in the eyes. “I tried it once when I was younger…well, it was one of those cry-for-help things—my heart wasn't really in it. Anyway, I find homicide a much better outlet for frustration than suicide.” She looked around. “I should probably watch what I say in public, but if anyone makes a fuss, I'll just homicide them.”

“Sorry to waste your time with all this chit-chat.”

Morrigan laughed again. “You have such a dry sense of humor. I guess you're just kind of shy. It takes a little bit of time to get you to let your hair down. I know your story, Rico—I know you're all mental and stuff—but you do have to work on being more social. Are you really just going to be a dumb thug until the day you die?”

“Actually, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. The job. I'm not doing it.”

The mirth disappeared. “Excuse me?”

“You made it clear you didn't even want me to be a part of this, and I just don't think we work well together. And I don't trust you. So I'm out.”

Morrigan looked around again. “Maybe we should go somewhere more private to discuss this.”

“There is nothing to discuss. I'm done. You can make up an excuse for Gredler for why I won't be at the conference…or not. I don't really care.”

She was steaming, but she took a few deep breaths and calmed down a little. “Yes, Rico—you're right—I didn't want you on this job. And I don't particularly like you or find you all that useful. But I have orders from the execs, and they override my concerns and your concerns.”

“If they have a problem with my decision, they can take it up with me.”

Her eyes locked onto me, like she was ready to pounce. “I'm guessing they're going to ask
me
to take it up with you.”

“Then I guess we'll talk again.”