Super Dark (Super Dark Trilogy) (26 page)

I closed my eyes, listening to the rain hammering on the roof. Finally, I spoke. “Sometimes you can spend so long dreaming about something, trying to imagine how it will be, turning it every which way in your head—and then the reality comes and it’s never quite how you thought it would be. Isn’t that strange?” He didn’t respond, so I continued. “All this time you’ve been laughing at me, playing me for a fool.”

“I never laughed at you,” he said. “Do you seriously believe I did this for a joke? Of course, I didn’t mean for things to turn out this way. I wanted to tell you right from the start but somehow … I just couldn’t. “

“Do your parents know you’re alive?” I asked. “Have you told them?”

“No, I haven’t got around to it.”

Something inside me snapped. “
You haven’t got around to it
?” My voice twisted with anger. “Do you have any idea what your parents are going through right now? For ten years, I’ve watched two of the loveliest people I know die a slow death from heartbreak—and you’ve got the nerve to tell me you just couldn’t get around to it? Am I missing something here? Did it never cross your mind your parents might just want to know their beloved son is alive?”

I slammed my fists against the sofa cushions. “Did you know your mum’s got an eating disorder because of you? She’s slowly wasting away from grief. But no, you couldn’t fit saving her life into your busy agenda. You prefer hanging out in nightclubs, flirting with people.”

I ran my fingers through my hair. “Jeez, I’m so mad I could kill you, I really could …” I started counting to ten, focusing on my breathing again. I had to get hold of myself. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. The part about wanting to kill you. It was cruel and I didn’t mean it. Forgive me.”

“It’s okay,” he shrugged. “You were just letting off steam. I understand.”

I drew myself back into a sitting position. Lee—
or should I now call him Elliot?—
was leaning against the curved window sill, his face the picture of disquietude. “I’m sorry you had to find out this way. I really did want to tell you. Somehow it just never seemed to be the right time.”

I shot him a reproachful look. “Where have you been? Who were you living with? Were you out of the country? Why couldn’t the police find you?”

He paused. “It’s complicated.”

“Try me. I can do complicated. Whatever it is, you can tell me. Please, I need to know.”

“I don’t have to tell you a damn thing!” he exploded. “How about what I’ve been through, huh? You’re so concerned about my parents, but what about me? Don’t my feelings come into it? Ever stopped to think there might be a reason for why I’ve behaved this way? You have absolutely
no
idea.” He shook his head. “I’m not ready to talk about this. Not now, maybe not ever. Understand? Stop pressuring me!”

I bit the inside of my cheek, trying to force back the inevitable tears that were coming. I only partly succeeded. Wiping the damp hair from my face, I managed to compose myself enough to speak again. “I’m sorry. You’re right. I wasn’t thinking properly. It’s just been so much to take in, you know? But please, answer me this one question.”

“Depends,” he said through gritted teeth.

“Does anyone else know you’re alive?” I asked. “The police?”

“Not a living soul. Only you.”

I felt weirdly privileged. “Please Elliot, I’m begging you, tell your parents. I know I can’t begin to imagine what you’ve been through. But do me this one favor.” My voice broke a little. “Neil and Anne … they love you so much. Please put them out of their misery.”

Elliot’s face remained placid, his blue eyes distant. It was difficult to tell where his mind had taken him.

“I’ll think about it,” he said at last. “Give me a couple of days, and I might be ready. But until then, you’ve got to promise me you won’t breathe a word of this to anyone. Not even your mother. Until I’m ready to move forward, this has to remain between us. Do I have your word?”

I hesitated, my heart riddled with indecision. This was way too big a promise to make. I didn’t want to lie to him, but could I
really
keep this to myself, knowing how many people’s suffering I could end with just a few words?

“You’re hesitating,” Elliot snapped. “I guess that means you’re undecided. Well, perhaps this will be a deal-clincher for you. Breathe a word to anyone, and you’ll never see me again. I mean it, Sam. If I find that you’ve blabbed, I’ll pack up and leave Elmfield for good, and you won’t know where to find me.”

“All right, I promise,” I said.

“Good girl.”

For a moment, we held each other’s gaze, a thousand words unspoken between us: two frightened kids trying to fathom where all that time had gone.

And then I stood up and took a step toward him. “I need you to hold me.”

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”

“Please don’t make me beg.”

He looked a little shocked by my boldness, but he relented and wrapped his arms around me. I nestled my face deep into his chest, my breath and my tears burning hot. For the first time in ten years, I felt human again. It was as if a heavy weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

“God, I’ve missed you,” I choked. “It’s been such agony. Always thinking the worst, never knowing what news the day would bring. And your parents were right all along. They have always said you were alive. They never, ever gave up hope.”

He squeezed me more tightly to him, and I could feel the wild beating of his heart. His body felt so strong and powerful against mine, I knew he could have broken me in half if he wanted to. But he didn’t. He held me with gentleness and restraint, as if I were some delicate china doll.

Words were not necessary. The intensity of his grip told me all I needed to know. Lost in his arms like this, so warm, so snug, it felt safe to let my barriers down, and allow myself to truly open up. I was that little lost seven-year-old again and he was shielding me from the cruelty of the world.

After a moment, I came up for air. He was staring down at me like some kind of tortured angel, a burning fire in his eyes that took my breath away. He’d told so many lies, tricked and deceived me in a way that was wholly unforgivable; by rights I shouldn’t have wanted him anywhere near me. And yet, somehow I did. More than ever, in fact. All I cared about was that my best friend was
alive
. And that was all that mattered right now.

“Come on, I’ll take you home,” he murmured.

Reconciliation

A
little after one, we pulled back onto my street. The rain had stopped, but dark clouds still loomed ominously above. I hadn’t wanted to leave Elliot, but he’d insisted on it. He said he needed time to think, time to get his head together—and in all honesty, who could blame him? It had been an intense twenty-four hours for the both of us.

I was still having trouble processing what had happened. And I knew it was important for me to carry on as if nothing strange had happened. Any major change in my behavior might arouse suspicion.

“So when will I see you again?” I asked.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be in touch,” he replied brusquely.

“You’re not gonna run out on me, are you?”

“Not if you keep your side of the bargain.”

“Of course I will. I’ve given you my word.”

“Then you’ll hear from me in a couple of days.”

For a moment, I sat silently, my hands folded in my lap.” You
will
think about it though, won’t you?”

“Speaking to my parents?”

“Yes.”

“Like I said, it’s under consideration. I’ll let you know my decision when I next speak to you.” He clenched his lips and got the engine started. “Listen, you’d better go inside now. Your Mum’s gonna be wondering what happened to you.”

“Okay.”

When I got in, I found Mum in the living room with Greg. As soon as I walked through the door, she stubbed out her cigarette and raced toward me.

“My god, darling, where have you been? I was just about to phone the police. We’ve all been worried sick. Frasier called earlier looking for you. He said something about a fight in a club, and how you’d disappeared afterwards.”

“I didn’t disappear,” I said. “He’s being overly dramatic. A friend took me home and that’s where I’ve just come from. No big deal.”

“Which friend is this?” she asked sternly. “I thought you were supposed to be staying with that Becky girl.”

“No, this is a different friend. You don’t know them.”

Her eyes narrowed into slits. “What the hell happened here?” She clutched my swollen cheek and tilted it toward her. “So Frasier was right. You
have
been fighting.”

“Mum!” I glanced pointedly at our visitor. “Can we do this another time? My head’s so sore, I really need to lie down.”

Her mouth became a taut, bitter line. “Can you give us five minutes, Greg? I need to have a word with my daughter. Alone.”

“No problem,” Greg said, getting up. “I’ll go make us some tea.” He hurried out to the kitchen.

I stood by the door, shifting my weight awkwardly. I really couldn’t take a grilling right now.

“You might as well sit down,” she said, gesturing to an empty space on the sofa. “You’re not leaving this room till you tell me what’s been going on.”

Reluctantly, I obliged. “What do you want to know?”

“Well, let’s start with what Frasier said this morning. Apparently you got into an altercation with a man and you were seen leaving the club in a hurry.”

“So I got in one little argument. So what?”

“I’d say that mark on your face is the product of more than just a little argument, wouldn’t you?”

“Okay, so I had a bit of a scrap. Big deal. It’s done, so why’s everyone making such a fuss?”

“Well, I haven’t finished telling you what Frasier said, have I? He says about an hour after you left, a man was found lying in an alley behind the nightclub. He’d taken such a beating he’s now in intensive care and they say his condition’s touch and go.”

A tremor ran through me, but I managed to remain calm. “So . . .? What does that have to do with me?”

“Your friend seems to think the man in the alley is the same man people saw you having the ruckus with. Frasier was concerned for your safety. He thought maybe the man had gone after you or something.”

I held my breath.
The knife!
I couldn’t remember what I’d done with it. If the police had gotten hold of it, they’d find my fingerprints on it—and Elliot’s. That might lead to some awkward questions.

I knew I had to distance myself from this as much as possible. At the end of the day, I had nothing to be ashamed of. That psychopath had tried to kill us, and we had only been defending ourselves. If he’d taken a beating that had landed him in hospital—well, too bad. He only had himself to blame.

I decided to play it cool. “I don’t know anything about any guy in an alley. All I know is, some creep tried to grope me, so I slapped him. Then my friend stepped in and took me home. End of story. But,” I continued carefully, “if this
was
the same guy who groped me, then I’m not surprised he got beaten up. The way he was behaving, he was bound to pick on the wrong person.”

My mother’s face relaxed a little, but her eyes were still shrewd. “Well I’m certainly glad you stood up for yourself. You might have to start carrying a pepper spray around with you. But perhaps you’d better give clubbing a miss for a while, eh?”

“Well, you’re the one who’s always forcing me to go out. If I had my way, I’d have been at home on my cross-trainer.”

“That’s true,” she agreed. “I only wanted you to do normal teenage things, that’s all. It would appear no good deed goes unpunished.”

I faked a yawn, stretched, and got up. “If that’s all you wanted to say, then I guess I can go to my room now?”

“Sit down!” Mum commanded. Her voice was shrill.

Hastily, I obeyed. She didn’t lose her temper easily, but when she did, she was a force to be reckoned with.

“You still haven’t explained what happened to your face.”

I looked away from her. “I … I fell over. It happened when I was running for the car.”