Sunshine Beach (38 page)

She stomped along, not exactly walking but definitely not running. The doctor had said she could jog if she wanted to. Ha! She'd probably never have the time or energy to ever run again. If she managed to carry these babies to term, which still seemed grossly unlikely, she'd have two babies and no job or money. She'd undoubtedly get fat and ugly. And by the time the babies went to school she'd be . . . oh, God, she'd be ancient! People would think she was their grandmother! She walked on, her thoughts churning. Here she was worrying about herself when the people she should be feeling sorry for were her babies,
her
children, who wouldn't exactly be hitting the mother jackpot. She was selfish and self-absorbed, and her mothering of Malcolm had produced a conscienceless monster. What if she screwed up her children? What if she was such an awful mother that . . .

“Hold on!”

It took her a minute to realize someone was talking to her. Her sunglasses had fogged up due to the warm tears that seemed to form at the least provocation. She swiped at them
with her forearm before turning. She blinked and removed the foggy glasses certain she was seeing or—in her mental state—imagining things. But no. There he was. Dark glasses. Determined chin. Bare chest. Unfairly attractive. Joe Giraldi.

She turned back around and walked faster. She had nothing to say to this man.

“Nikki! Stop!”

“Or what?” She threw the words over her shoulder. If he hadn't arrested her by now, chances were it wasn't going to happen. Anger coursed through her, hot and powerful. She'd like to see him try to arrest her. She'd chew him up and spit him out. She'd . . .

“Nikki.” His voice sounded next to her ear. His hand grasped her shoulder. “Nikki,” he said again. “Please stop. Or at least slow down. I'm afraid you're going to collapse or hyperventilate.” His eyes went to her stomach and came back to her face.

She kept her chin up and she didn't exactly acknowledge him. But since she was feeling slightly light-headed, she did slow down. She would not give him the satisfaction of fainting in front of him.

“Nikki, seriously. You've got to . . .”

She stopped abruptly and turned. If he'd had lesser reflexes he would have plowed into her. “I don't have to do anything. Especially not for someone who called me a cheater. If you don't want to have anything to do with me or my children, go right ahead and believe whatever you want. And then, then you can just get the hell out of my life.”

She blinked back tears. Thank God for the foggy sunglasses.

“Nikki,” he said. “Stop it. Please. I came to apologize.”

“Well, go ahead then and be done with it,” she said and hoped to hell her lip hadn't just quivered.

“I'm sorry. I know I overreacted. I just . . . I've never been quite that angry. Or hurt.”

She managed to remain silent. And she was pretty sure her lip had stopped quivering.

“First I kept waiting for you to tell me that Malcolm had contacted you. Then I waited for you to tell me that you were going to see him. Then I waited for you to tell me that he threatened you. But you never did.”

When she didn't respond, he continued. “And then I accidentally found out that you'd been to the doctor and could be pregnant.”

“You were tracing me and my credit card. I don't think that qualifies as an ‘accident,'” she bit out. “And none of this would have happened if you'd told me about the investigation.”

“Nikki, I couldn't do that.”

“Because deep down you didn't trust me not to tell Malcolm.” Her glasses fogged again. She ripped them off.

He sighed. “Because I'm not allowed to share the details of an ongoing investigation. Period.”

She did not want to accept this. Didn't care if it was the truth.

“I am sorry, though,” he said.

“You accused me of cheating on you.” The tears fell then, which really pissed her off. Her lips weren't the only thing quivering.

“I know. That was completely out of line. I just lost control. Part of me wanted to make sure you felt as bad as I did.” He wiped the tears from her cheek with the pad of his thumb. “But can you please tell me why you didn't let me know you were pregnant? Don't you want to have children? Or is it just me you don't want?”

Oh, God. She tried to hold on to her anger, but it was seeping out of her like a lifeboat that had sprung a leak in the middle of shark-infested waters. She did want him. She wanted him more than she'd ever wanted anything in her life. The realization struck her with the force of a blow to the gut. She loved this man. She was incredibly lucky that
he loved her. Lucky to be carrying his children. He'd been honest with her; she owed him the same in return.
Please God
, she prayed silently.
Please don't let me screw this up
.

She reached out and removed his sunglasses so that she could see his eyes.

“I got pregnant twice before,” she said finally. “When I was married. And I had miscarriages both times.” She drew a deep breath, surprised that the long-ago pain was still there. “It was . . . well, it was awful.”

His eyes were dark and stormy with emotion. His hands fisted at his sides. But he didn't interrupt.

“Then the doctor told me that I'd never carry full term. I don't think I even listened to the reasons why.” She swallowed around the lump that rose in her throat, forced herself to continue. “But I was told it would be better if I didn't get pregnant. And I never did.”

Joe's eyes held hers. “Yeah, I noticed you were a little fanatical about taking your birth control pills.”

“Well, I had a reason. And then when my period got so erratic . . .” She shook her head. “Well, I guess I'm not going through menopause after all.”

He gave a bark of laughter. It loosened the knot of anxiety that she'd carried inside her. It was crowded in there with the babies.

“And honestly, you know I practically raised Malcolm. And look how he turned out. He doesn't care about anyone or anything but himself. Even though I keep forgetting that. I'm not exactly mother of the year material.”

“Ah, Nikki.” He slung an arm around her shoulders and without discussion they turned back toward Bella Flora. “Malcolm's lack of moral fiber and conscience aren't on you,” he said. “I've been in law enforcement long enough to know there are simply some people who have neither. The really dangerous ones are able to cover it up with an overabundance of charm.”

“He's got that, all right. I've known him his whole life and I still keep falling for it.”

“You want to believe. That makes it easier for him. He doesn't even have to win you over.”

She took a deep breath and scrubbed at her eyes. She felt limp with relief, barely resisting the urge to lean her head against his shoulder.

“Are we okay?” he asked.

She nodded, not trusting herself to speak.

“Can I kiss you?” he asked, bringing them to a stop and turning her to face him.

She nodded again.

“Good. Because as mad as I was at you on our little road trip I could barely keep my hands off you.”

“You could have fooled me. You were a complete and utter maniac.”

He tilted her chin up and brought his lips down on hers. The kiss was long and thorough, but achingly gentle.

“Well, I'm going to be a father. I may be feeling a little overprotective.” His lips hovered over hers as he spoke. Then he kissed her again.

It occurred to her that this could be the moment that he'd ask her to marry him again. She was shocked at how much she wouldn't mind if he did.

But though he kept his arm around her the whole way back and then left her at Bella Flora with one last extremely enthusiastic kiss, the word “marriage” never crossed his lips.

Avery left to meet the Hardins for an initial walk-through while Maddie packed a cooler of drinks and assorted sandwiches. Kyra and Dustin rode in the limo with Daniel, who seemed disappointed that he couldn't affix a sign that read
Follow me!

Nikki had come back from her walk looking decidedly more relaxed and said a very long good-bye to Joe. An odd smile flitted on and off her face. Despite her general aversion to minivans she'd decided to ride with Maddie and Steve.

“I'm not going to have to own one of these, am I?” Nikki asked as she slid into one of the captain's chairs in the back. “I mean, it's not a requirement or anything?”

“No.” Maddie laughed. “But you'll probably want one. Two car seats will fit a lot better in one of these.”

“Yeah, the Jag's probably not going to cut it,” Steve added, ignoring Nikki's strangled groan. “I got rid of my Corvette when Kyra was born. I hardly missed it at all after the first year or two.”

They arrived at the Sunshine Hotel and found Avery, Chase, his father, and Ray Flamingo in deep discussion. Troy had gotten there ahead of them and was already shooting.

Daniel stood next to Kyra. “It's like a time capsule from the fifties, isn't it?”

Maddie nodded.

“Bohzer!” Dustin raced toward the bright yellow earthmover parked near the main building.

Maddie's heart sank at the sight of it. The idea that a shiny new high-rise or multimillion-dollar home might soon stand in this spot made it sink even lower.

“Up!” Dustin said, raising both hands above his head. “Want to ride the bohzer!” The cab was locked, but Daniel sat Dustin on a flat space above its track where he made driving and zooming sounds for a few minutes. As soon as his feet were back on the ground he raced out onto the beach with Daniel behind him.

Avery, the Hardins, and Ray Flamingo stood in a knot between the main building and the pool, their expressions intent. Not wanting to interrupt, Maddie wandered over to the low concrete wall and stared out over the beach. The late afternoon sun still glowed bright, sending shards of sunlight glinting off the aquamarine water. Seagulls soared and dipped in the sky, unperturbed by the parasailer that floated by. At the water's edge a family of four left the decidedly lopsided sand castle they'd been building to peer out into the Gulf. Daniel and Dustin, who'd been tossing a football around, went to see what they were pointing at.

“Geema!” Dustin raced toward her a short while later, his legs pumping as he attempted to outrun his father. “We sawed dolpins! A whole family of dolpins! They were eating!” He arrived out of breath, his dark curls bouncing. His face was smeared with sand and flushed with excitement. “Can I give the dolpins a handwitch?”

Daniel laughed aloud. Maddie saw Kyra's eyes seek him out, watched them share a smile. “I think they like fish better,” Steve said. “But I'm sure if you ask her nicely, your Geema will break out the peanut butter and jelly.”

Avery and her crew came over to join them on the blankets that had been spread out on the sand. She and Chase got Jeff settled in a beach chair braced against the low concrete wall while drinks came out of the cooler and sandwiches were passed around. Avery sat between Chase and Ray, an unwrapped sandwich in her lap. She leaned back on her hands, her face turned up to the sun. The pose appeared reflective, but Maddie could feel the energy coming off her and imagined she could see the wheels turning in her head.

“I have a catalogue in the car with a reproduction lifeguard stand in it,” Ray said, his sherbet-colored shirt fluttering slightly in the hot breeze. “When I first came across it, I could practically see John Franklin sitting up there in his nineteen-fifties bathing trunks and muscle T-shirt trying to get Renée's attention.”

“He told us that he kissed her for the first time right over next to that cabbage palm,” Maddie said, pointing to the nearby stand of trees. She remembered the expression on his face when he'd shared the memory. “Their whole history is tied to this place.”

“Have you reached any decisions?” Kyra asked.

Avery looked at Chase and Jeff, older and younger models of each other, before answering. “We've agreed that even with the new infusion of capital we can't do everything. That we have to do what matters most and focus on the most valuable part of this property.”

“Which is?” Kyra asked.

“What we're all staring at.” Jeff nodded toward the Gulf and its white sand frame.

“Which means we were right when we decided to deal with the main building and the pool area,” Chase added. “A million dollars sounds like a lot but it'll only go so far.”

Dustin finished his sandwich and crawled into his mother's lap with his juice box. Daniel smiled down at him.

“This beach has a really nice casual vibe. It's less showy than South Beach or even Fort Lauderdale,” Daniel observed, his shoulder brushing Kyra's. “But it's really comfortable.”

For a moment Maddie wondered if he was referring only to the beach. The movie star looked far more relaxed than she'd ever seen him. Not, she reminded herself, that she'd ever seen him at home with Tonja and their children.

“It's true.” Avery leaned against Chase as she spoke. “We've been discussing letting go of the high-end finishes we originally envisioned and can't really afford for a while. The plan now is still to go retro but make sure that it's casual and family friendly. We'd include the soda fountain, a great new casual dining room, and break the lobby up into conversation areas, card and game tables, all of it overlooking the new pool and beach.”

“Plus the men's and women's locker rooms,” Chase added. “And the rooftop deck. Which would leave us with . . .”

“. . . a fully functioning beach club,” Maddie finished. She looked back at the hotel trying to envision it as it once was and might be again.

“But what about the cottages?” Nikki asked. “What would we do with them?”

Ray sat up, his rolled sleeves revealing lightly muscled forearms. He was the only one of them not sweating. “I think we should finish the roof and exteriors including new doors, windows, and patios. Then paint them the way we'd planned in those great midcentury colors—Flamingo Pink, Blue Mambo, Banana Leaf—and leave the interiors unfinished for now.”

“It could work,” Avery said. “We'd create a viable local beach club. People could buy yearly memberships. And there could be activities and parties like the Handlemans had for their guests.”

Despite the heat, Maddie's arms goosebumped. “I love it. Especially the idea of re-creating the Sunshine Beach Club.”

“We could finish the cottages later,” Chase said. “Or whoever bought it might want to.”

It was Nikki's turn to sit up. “Why not sell them as time-shares? People could pay for two weeks a year. Or a month. Or, I don't know. There could be a sliding scale.” Her voice grew more animated.

“And once enough people bought time in a one- or two-bedroom, it could be built out,” Jeff said.

“For $150,000 bucks we could finish out a one-bedroom unit to their specifications,” Chase added. “Maybe charge $200,000 for the two-bedrooms depending on finishes. John Franklin will know what they might go for.”

Troy moved among them, stepping carefully, shooting each person as they spoke. For the moment, at least, Kyra seemed content to be in the moment rather than try to capture it.

“They could be fabulous,” Ray said. “The shells would stay the same, but the interiors could be customized.”

The sun dialed it back a notch. As it began its end-of-day swan dive, the beach began to empty. The family who'd spotted the “dolpins” earlier began to gather up their sand toys and beach towels. The father hefted a cooler onto one shoulder while the mother packed up an oversized straw bag.

“But who would they be marketed to?” Nikki asked. “There are lots of hotels on the beach already. And there are only ten units here.”

“But they're not beach clubs that you can belong to,” Maddie said, her eyes drawn again to the young family now heading back up the beach. As she watched, the children raced ahead of their parents. Midway, for no apparent reason, the little girl did a cartwheel, then turned to run back to retrieve a purple pail. On her way back she raced past her brother squealing with what sounded a lot like happiness.
Just like John had told them the children used to back when he was lifeguarding.

“I know exactly who would want to join the beach club and buy time-shares on this property.” Maddie felt the smile crease her face as certainty flooded through her. “Is it too late to ask the Franklins to come over and hear our idea?”

“Oh!” Annelise came to a stop at their first sight of the bright yellow bulldozer. Renée stopped with her. “It's so . . . big.”

Renée couldn't get her feet to move. The two of them stared at it dumbly. It was big. Big and yellow.

“What is it?” John asked coming up behind them.

“I wasn't expecting . . . I didn't realize . . .” Annelise's voice trailed off, but Renée knew exactly what she meant. Agreeing to bulldoze the hotel and actually seeing the bulldozer that would flatten it were two very different things.

Despite all the years of wishing for the hotel to come down and the property to be sold, she had never allowed herself to imagine it. Or think what it would be like to step onto this lot once it was reduced to sand and rubble.

“I just wanted it gone but . . .” Annelise began.

“I know.” Renée resisted the urge to lean against John, who'd moved up to stand between them. If it felt this awful now, how would it feel when the land sold and someone else's home or condo building went up on it?

“Ladies?” John crooked his arms and they each slipped an arm through one. Renée's heart thudded dully in her chest as they walked carefully through the overgrown grass and rubble, supporting each other as they traversed the uneven ground.

“Neh Nay!” Dustin left his mother's side and came running to her as she and John and Annelise reached the others. She was surprised to see Dustin's father follow him. He shook John's hand firmly and offered what seemed to be a sincere greeting while Dustin threw his arms around Renée's thighs,
which was as high as he could currently reach. She hugged him back, noticing as she straightened that Annelise stood alone near what had been the deep end of the swimming pool where the diving board had once been. Her eyes were fixed straight ahead. No doubt staring into the past.

“You used to love to scare the guests with your underwater disappearing act.”

Annelise smiled sadly. “I never did it again after that day.”

“I know.” Renée put her arm around her sister's shoulders. It had been a day of “lasts.” The dividing line between their “before” and their “after.” The night their father had died and Ilse had . . . The day both their parents died, she corrected herself.

She turned her gaze to the low wall where much of the group sat. But what she saw was herself, pretending the wall was a tightrope when she was five or six. Sitting with her father and Pop Pop eating ice cream sandwiches. As a teenager it had provided an uninterrupted view of the lifeguard stand. She had spent so much time trying to forget the bad things, that she'd forgotten the good things, too. She had, as the old expression went, thrown the baby out with the bathwater.

Avery came forward to greet them, her eyes bright with anxiety reminding Renée that she and Annelise weren't the only ones who would be affected by the hotel's fate. There were hugs and waves and friendly nods. Somewhere along the way these nice young people who had come to own Bella Flora had become far more than that. They were shown to webbed beach chairs like the one Jeff Hardin sat on.

Sunset was not far off and they sat in the gathering dusk listening to the cicadas tuning up, the occasional caw from a circling gull, the rustle of the palms. The soundtrack that she and Annelise had grown up with. The past washed gently over her like a warm Gulf swell on a summer day, and she realized with regret that if they sold the property she'd never tame these grounds, never divide up the hibiscus bush, never
share this place with her children and grandchildren. They'd let it molder all these years. If they tore it down and sold off the land, she'd most likely never set foot here again.

Avery stepped up in front of them. Maddie joined her. “Thank you for coming. We all really appreciate it.”

Beside her Annelise drew a deep breath. Her hands were clasped tightly in her lap. “I don't see any display boards or artwork. Will we have anything that will help us reach a decision?”

“No,” Avery said. “As it turns out, our idea is a lot less about finishes and construction or even timetables and budgets than we originally thought.”

“And a lot more about the Sunshine Hotel and Beach Club and what it's meant to be,” Maddie added.