Sunset of Lantonne (55 page)

“How long was I asleep?” Greth asked him next, staring out of the cave from where he lay. “I remember walking for a while, then…well…this.”

“About two days. It’s almost night again.”

Greth looked at Raeln as though he were insane, then nodded and closed his eyes again. “Not really surprised. I pushed myself too hard getting here. Add a wound like that and I guess a day or two isn’t really too bad. How long were you out?”

Raeln smiled. “Haven’t slept yet. I prefer to meditate when I’m not too tired. I can probably go another day or two before I have to sleep. Three, if I push myself.”

“This is why we don’t live with elves, Raeln,” chastised Greth. “They make you do crazy things like meditate or eat vegetables.”

“I like vegetables.”

“My point exactly. You’ve been housebroken.”

“Are you saying I should pee on the floor? If that’s how your pack lives…”

Greth started laughing until he had to hold his side. “No, it’s just an expression, Raeln. We refer to anyone who’s been enslaved too long to know their own instincts as a housebroken wildling.”

Chuckling at the confusion, Raeln thought over things that had been plaguing him while Greth was unconscious. “The elf that Olis was carrying…” he started to ask, but Greth winced and looked away immediately.

“When he said the wolves could join him for dinner, he meant the elf,” Greth confirmed. “Olis believes that anything he can kill is food. My father’s generation wasn’t much different, but that was when they lived alone and starved most of the year. Once he joined a pack, saying something about eating someone would be only a joke, but Olis has no sense of humor. He would have eaten us if he had killed us.”

“And you tried to be a part of his pack?”

“Yeah,” said Greth, looking genuinely ashamed. “When my father died, I left Lihuan’s pack for a couple months. I thought they weren’t doing enough to get revenge. Olis preys on people like me, trying to convince us that killing anyone and anything is a type of revenge. It took me a month running with him before I realized that I was better than that. I never looked back.”

“So you…”

“Yes, I ate human and elven meat, Raeln. I told you there are things I’ve done I’m not proud of. I don’t care how many of us the Altisians skinned, killing the hunters for food is not something I want to repeat.”

They sat in silence a while until Greth grabbed his pack from where it lay near Raeln. He dug through it, muttering occasionally at one item or another that was missing. Eventually he managed to fish out a wrapped bundle that he sniffed and offered to Raeln.

“A peace offering, if you’re hungry,” he said, waving the bundle in front of Raeln, wafting the smell of meats. “Some jerky.”

“Where’d you get that?” asked Raeln, taking the cloth-wrapped meats and picking a piece out of the bundle. It was heavily seasoned and difficult to identify.

“Olis dropped it.”

Raeln shoved the jerky back at Greth, who grinned in unrestrained amusement.

“I’m kidding, Raeln. I brought it from Lantonne. I couldn’t resist the timing, though.”

Grumbling at Greth, Raeln took the piece he had removed from the bundle and handed the rest back. Nibbling gingerly at it, it found it to be dried pork, a meat they rarely had much of in Hyeth. After so long traveling with little food that had not been caught on the run, even such a simple snack seemed like a delicacy.

“Can I ask you something?” Greth asked after tearing off a piece of jerky himself.

“Should I say ‘no’ to urge you to ask anyway, like you did with Ilarra?”

“Back in the elf town,” Greth went on, ignoring Raeln’s question, “you were supposed to be mated to Ishande, right?”

“Married, yes. I was not obligated, but my mother wished it and I have a hard time refusing her.”

“Why weren’t you more upset when she died?”

Raeln looked over at Greth to see if he was joking, but his expression was very serious. “I barely knew her,” admitted Raeln. “I’d fought her several times, but we were more or less strangers.”

“Still, she was going to be with you for…decades? I can’t even imagine how long you might live with the elf-magic, but I know it’s longer than I’ll be around. She was cute and she was supposed to be yours…even if you didn’t know her well, I would have expected a little more anger or shock. I think the elf girl was more torn up than you were.”

“I’ll probably live another sixty or seventy years, if you don’t get me killed first.”

“Lihuan is…was…the oldest wildling I’ve ever met, and I think my father said he was only thirty-five or so,” mused Greth aloud, looking stunned.

Raeln studied Greth’s face, having forgotten how much younger he was. They were about the same physical age, but Greth was only a little more than four. Likely, Greth’s father had been around Raeln’s age, a sobering thought for him.

“Greth, I’ve lived among both bonded wildlings and unbonded my whole life,” he explained. “I have a brother who is nearing thirty years who had no bonding. His grandchildren are your age. I have watched my family, friends, and even their children grow old around me while I remain a child by our race’s standards. I’ve gotten used to watching people pass away each year. Ishande was just another wildling—admittedly someone I should have cared for but never got the chance. If I could have given my life to save her, I would have, but knowing that changes nothing.”

Greth thought about that while staring at the ceiling of the cave. “She confided in me before she died. She thought that you weren’t interested in her.”

“I told you, I didn’t even know her well enough for that marraige.”

“Back in Lihuan’s pack, I can assure you that half the males there would have offered themselves to any female like her in a heartbeat, regardless of how well they knew her. Most males I’ve known aren’t too picky about who they mate with, at least in the short-term.”

“Growing up where I did instilled somewhat different values, Greth.”

“Ishande disagreed. She thought you might not like females…something about her mounting you during a fight and you weren’t even distracted…”

“What are you trying to say?”

Greth snapped out of his distant thoughts and looked suddenly apologetic. “Nothing bad, Raeln. She wanted me to tell you that she was okay with whatever you did or didn’t feel toward her. There was no anger. Had she lived, she wouldn’t have pushed you on the issue. I should have told you sooner, but…honestly, I didn’t think you were good enough to get to know that.”

Raeln felt his temper flare at being questioned about such a personal topic. His skin prickled at the accusation—one he had heard whispered for years and ignored—and he got up, intending to march into the rain outside and leave Greth until he had time to stop being angry.

“What?” demanded Greth, sitting up with a pained grunt. “I tell you that you have no reason to feel guilty about the poor female’s death and you get upset about that?”

“No,” Raeln snapped in reply, the anger fading almost immediately at seeing Greth truly did not understand. “The bonding has certain responsibilities you likely didn’t have out here in the wilds. With it, I’m expected to protect Ilarra with my life, lest we both lose ours. I am expected to marry if she marries. If she had children, I was to provide children who might bond with them.”

“The great warrior and protector didn’t want little puppies nipping at his heels?” Greth grabbed Raeln’s wrist as he started to storm off. “I’m kidding…mostly. I take it that wasn’t exactly your first choice of things to do with your spare time?”

“What would your people have done with a wolf that had no interest in taking a wife, Greth? Would they have been understanding, or would they have torn him apart as a freak? My people might not kill with claws, but words and looks can be nearly as bad.”

“My people?” asked Greth, releasing Raeln’s wrist. “If you mean Lihuan’s pack, they would have done about the same as yours. There were festivals meant to increase the size of the pack, if you know what I mean. A couple males and females went out of their way to be away from the village during those festivals and got some weird looks, but no one said much.

“We had this one male ferret I know was eyeing every new male that showed up. We were all misfits there, so a couple wildlings that didn’t fit in wasn’t really a surprise to anyone. They did what they wanted and the rest did things their way, no arguments, no conflicts unless someone really wanted Lihuan to rip them up good.

“Now Olis’ pack, that’s a different matter entirely,” Greth went on. “If one of his people let on that they wouldn’t mount the first female they caught and dragged back to the pack, I doubt he’d have left their head attached for more than a second or two…assuming they didn’t run away. There, if you weren’t intending to breed, it would be smarter to just pretend or you’d expect to have your head on a pole by nightfall. Trust me on that, they weren’t kind to anyone who disagreed with the rules.”

Raeln could see a haunted look in Greth’s eyes and wondered exactly what had happened between him and Olis’ pack. “Fine,” said Raeln, lowering his eyes. “I had no interest in Ishande or the other women my mother pushed in my direction. Take that for what you will.”

Clenching his hands in frustration at not being able to walk away from Greth and feeling weak for his admission, Raeln took a slow breath and sat back down. He had been judged by everyone he had ever known in Hyeth, with or without them actually trying to find out the truth about who he was. He hardly knew Greth, appreciated his neutral tone on the matter, but dreaded seeing the disgust in his eyes. That look was exactly why he had never told anyone and done his best to hide it, even from himself.

“I’ll leave once you’re strong enough to travel,” Raeln said eventually.

“Why?”

“I’ve seen how men treat men like me. They get uncomfortable around them, even if they don’t mean to. We have to trust each other to survive this far from the cities, so I’d rather leave you before you feel like you can’t count on me.”

“Are you planning on groping me in my sleep or something, Raeln?”

Raeln sat up sharply, glaring at Greth. “No. Why would you even ask that? Do your people do that to people they travel with?”

“I don’t, but if you don’t either, then why would I care? It means nothing either way to me. Give me a better reason why you would run off.”

“You have a life out here, Greth. There have to be survivors somewhere. The elf Olis was dragging around is proof not everyone died. Go and find them…I will go back to Hyeth and continue hiding in plain sight until Ilarra returns and decides what will become of my future. It’s better for both of us.”

Greth got up and moved to kneel directly in the path Raeln had taken to staring blankly toward. He looked genuinely angry, though Raeln could not figure out why. “Is this just because I figured out that you don’t like females? You think that’s reason enough to run off and mope until your owner comes back and gives you a treat?”

“Not funny, Greth.”

“Wasn’t meant to be. I don’t take well to people who try to play victim. Those who do are prey out here, not people, and I have a deep-seeded desire to treat them that way. Be proud of who you are, or you really are no better than Ilarra’s pet.”

Raeln tried to look away, but Greth grabbed his jaw and turned his head back.

“Give me a month or two,” Greth asked of him, the anger slowly fading from his expression. “Help me find the others. I could use the extra help avoiding Olis and scouts from Altis. After we either find the pack or I give up looking, you can decide if you really want to go back to Hyeth. Right now, you have nothing there to go back to, so there’s nothing to lose by staying with me. Besides, I’m better company than elves. Agreed?”

Yanking Greth’s hand off his muzzle, Raeln stared at him for a long time, trying to make him back down, but the man never budged. Finally, he nodded in agreement, if only to ease the tension between them.